"You know, Lou, you never told me allot about you." I said into the darkness of my living room. We were both sprawled out on the carpet and sharing conversation.
"There's not much to tell. Zayn is really the only true family I have and we grew up together. I live with my dad but we don't really talk." He stated.
"Why?"
"We just don't." He snapped. I nodded into the dark even though he couldn't see me and I turned onto my side. Maybe we don't trust each other as much as I think we did or maybe I'm just pushing too much. I couldn't help but feel like he just wasn't letting me in and he wouldn't anytime soon.
*A WEEK AND A HALF LATER*
It’s Thursday and we start school back up on Monday. I actually don't want to go back because I've been having so much fun over this break. Louis and I have hung out every day and my feelings for him just keep getting stronger and it’s starting to be hard to hide them. I haven't quite figured out if he knows yet or not.
"Marcey, Come lay with me!" Lou yelled from my room upstairs. I grinned and followed his voice to my room and flew on top of him.
"Happy, Tomlinson?" I smirked down at him.
"Very." He shot back.
"What do you have planned today, punk boy?"
"Well actually, I was planning on bringing you to my favorite park, nerd boy." I smiled down at him and sat up to put on my usual. When I got into my bathroom to slick my hair back I felt eyes on me and I turned around. Louis was just staring at me like I was from some magical planet.
"What?" I asked, confused.
"I just admire that you go out like that and don't give a shit how people look at you."
"The whole point is that no one looks at me." I shot back. He nodded slightly and looked a bit sad at my reply, but I didn't dwell on it.
"Where is this park at?" I asked, after we've been in the car for about twenty minutes.
"We’re actually pulling onto the dirt road right now." He replied. I looked around and seen how amazing the different stone paths were and how there were cute couples scattered around with their fingers locked tightly. I stared in awe as I seen two guys about my age sharing a loving stare before slightly pecking each other on the lips like it was their first time.
"Follow me?" Lou asked with a small, genuine smile playing at his lips. I followed behind him as we made our way through the many trees, but we weren't on any of the paths.
"Is this safe, Lou? Do you know where were going?" He chuckled lightly and turned to face me.
"Of course." We walked a bit more before we came to a small spot with flowers surrounding the circle. It was really beautiful and I couldn't help but to look over at Louis with a confused look at how he found this. "Zayn and I ran from his parents one day and ended up finding it." I nodded at the somewhat look into his past.
We could see the view of some of the paths from here and I spotted the same couple from earlier and I let a smile tug at my lips. "Marce, can I ask you something?" I peeled my gaze away from them and made eye contact with Louis.
"Yeah."
"I don't know the easiest way to ask this, but are you gay?" I opened my eyes in shock as I turned my head to the ground.
"Why would you ask me that?"
"Well, we have seen them twice, and each time, you look at them like you wish you could be them."
"So observant, you are." I replied.
"I guess. Are you going to give me an answer?" I looked at him and sighed.
"Yes, I am." I paused for a second before going on. "You can hate me or leave now."
"Why would I want to do that?"
"Aren't you scared I'm going to have a crush on you or try something?" He laughed.
"You already do." I whipped my head around with shock once again. "Kidding." Something tells me he wasn't. "How do you know you are?" He asked, going completely serious.
"I knew when I first laid eyes on James."
"Who is that?" He asked confused.
"He was this amazing guy that I knew for years. He was nice to everyone and he cared so much about people. He never had anything bad to say and he was just so fun to be around. The first time I saw him I knew I had it bad just by his eyes. They were so blue and I was drawn to them."
"What happened? Did you ever tell him?" I was shocked at how he just treated this like an everyday conversation.
"I told him after three years of knowing him and come to find out, he loved me right back."
"That's awesome!" I wish I could share Louis' enthusiasm for this.
"It was. He died two days after we made it official. We never even got to have our first kiss together." I met his gaze again and he looked... sad?
"How'd he die?" He asked with concern flooding his eyes.
"He committed suicide jumping off the same bridge Gem and Harry crashed on." I whispered looking away to blink out my tears. "He hated the fact of being gay and so did his dad. He didn't want his family to hate him so he took the easy way. There was probably more but that's all I know. A couple days later are when they were coming to pick me up from the funeral and they died too, the same shitty place. That's why I hate water. I know I shouldn't be so down about this because we were only together two days but I loved him for three years before that."
"I'm so sorry, Marce. I'm sorry for everything, and bullying you not knowing how bad you already were."
"You learn to move on, it’s not easy, but it does come after a while." I said, giving him a forced smile.
"You're an amazing person, you know that?"
"So are you." I felt like at this moment I could tell him my feelings, but at the same time I didn't want to scare him off. "Can I tell you something?"
"Anything."
"That day we went to the beach by the lighthouse I knew I was..." I trailed off suddenly horrified.
"Hey, you can tell me." He said, turning my face to look at him again.
"I knew I was falling for you." I whispered. I didn't expect the smile that crept onto his face like it did, but I was happy about it.
"I've known that for a bit now. Lucky for you, I recently found out I have started crushing on you too." I grinned at him and couldn't wipe it off.
"Really?"
"Yeah." He said, mirroring my smile. He started to lean in like he was going to kiss me, but I froze up and he caught on to it. "I'm sor-"
"No, it’s just that I've never kissed anyone before." I said quietly. He stared at me like he was waiting for me to tell him I was joking. "I'm serious. I know it’s stupid but I just-" I was cut off when his lips were on mine. He didn't move them for a while but then he started to, slowly, letting me get used to the feeling. I broke away smiling at how amazing his lips felt on mine.
"Now you have."
He stood up and held his hand out for me to take. I smiled up at the gesture and grabbed it, linking our fingers. We started walking and I noticed Louis nibbling on his lip nervously. I thought it was because he didn't want to be holding my hand in public so I let it go.
"We don't have to." I stated.
"It’s not that, I just need to tell you something." I nodded as to say go on. "I want you to know that no matter what happens I do care about you, okay?" I stared at him in confusion, having no clue what he was talking about. "Just tell me okay." He said pleadingly.
"Okay."
We walked all around the paths, fingers intertwined, talking about anything and everything. Every time Lou would laugh, I would just stare at his face. I really couldn't believe that something so beautiful was on this Earth.
"Are you staying again tonight?" I asked, when we reached his car again.
"I can’t tonight. Zayn wants me over because he hasn't seen me at all since break started." He said sadly. "But tomorrow, I want you to meet me in that spot so I can show you something."
"Definitely!" I replied; excited for what tomorrow would bring. We drove in a peaceful silence as Clarity played softly in the background.
I was almost to my front door after bidding my good-byes with Louis when I felt a hand on my waist and swiftly turn me around. "You forgot something."
"What?" I asked, confused.
"This." He replied and locked our lips in a sweet, passionate kiss. This one was so much better than the last because i actually knew what I was doing. He pulled away and grinned up at me.
"Laters, Nerd boy."
"Bye, Punk boy." I said, as he was walking away. I was falling too hard for this kid, and quite frankly, it scared the hell out of me.
I was walking the path to get to the spot where I was supposed to be meeting Louis at, when I knocked into someone and they fell over. "I-I'm so sorry." I blurted out, helping her off the ground.
"No, its fine." She replied, as I bent over to get her black glasses that were almost like mine but styled a bit differently. I handed them to her and she put them on.
"I really am sorry. I wasn't watching where I was going and I'm such an idiot." I kept rambling until she started to giggle and I shut my mouth right away.
"I told you it was fine. I'm Kourtney." She said, sticking out her hand for me to shake. I could feel the blush from my awkwardness spread onto my cheeks as I put my hand in hers.
"Marcel."
"It’s nice to meet you. I just moved here and I was looking for a peaceful place to read."
"This is definitely that place." I smiled down at her. "I have to go meet someone but I hope to see you around, Kourtney."
"You too, Marcel!" She yelled back, as I walked away.
When I finally got there, I knew something was wrong when I seen Louis, Zayn, and Liam standing together, laughing at something. I cleared my throat and all heads shot in my direction. A smirk crept onto Zayn's face, Liam was giving me a blank stare, and Louis had a flash of guilt, regret, and then blankness stretch over his.
"Good for you to finally meet us, Marcel." Zayn said. I nodded but didn't say anything because I was getting really nervous. "Nothing to say?"
"Not really."
"Do you want to know what were all doing here?" He asked, motioning towards himself and then the other two.
"I guess." I said sounding more nervous then I should have.
"Go ahead and tell him, Lou." I looked over at Louis, who was already staring at me. I raised an eyebrow in questioning and he stepped a bit closer, crossing his arms.
"Did you actually think I cared about you?"