Literature approaches much too quickly, but for no reason. Justin doesn’t even show up for class. This is totally pathetic seeing as I saw him this morning!
Yes, I want to see him. Why? Because retreating is a complete wimps move in terms of war! He might as well surrender and admit I was right. If he truly is retreating I need to begin plotting to officially take him down.
I sit in class, tapping my pencil anxiously while glancing at the empty seat next to me. What if this isn’t retreat? What if he is plotting as well? Skipping class can only give him more time to plan an attack. I shake my head. No, he may be clever, and he doesn’t fight fire with fire. He’s sneakier. He’ll get me paranoid and then leave me alone for a while, only to surprise attack later. I mustn’t allow this to happen. I have to keep an eye on him.
My attention returns to Miss Myers’ lecture about character development and our upcoming paper, but it is short lived. My attention span has been cut short significantly. The things Justin Knight does to my head will forever puzzle me. I hate him for that. I hate that he can make me completely crazy without my consent.
I sigh and tilt my head up to look at the clock. I watch the hand jump forward slowly, making silent ticking noises. This class has never seemed so long! I feel like I have a sudden onset of ADHD. I keep bouncing my feet and tapping my pencil, occasionally finding myself looking around and becoming increasingly distracted.
I’m grateful when the bell finally rings and releases me from torture. I jump out of my chair and hurry to the cafeteria. Sean and Austin are waiting at the table we have claimed as ours. I drop my backpack heavily onto the bench and look up at them expectantly.
“I’ll never get used to it.” Austin murmurs to Sean.
I look at them confusedly and put my hands on my hips. Seeing my cluelessness, Sean points to my hair. I nod and finger through the ends.
“Well get used to it, because it’s staying.” I shrug and skip off to get my meal.
When we arrive back at the table with our food we are lost in conversation. Austin keeps snapping my headband, I’m sure I have a red mark on my forehead because of him, while Sean is talking to me about his girl issues. I join in with my own stories, telling them about last night. I’m animatedly retelling the story of my mom trying to wash the dye out of my hair when something unexpected causes me to freeze.
It’s a drumroll. Then, it’s a series of guitar chords. My head swivels around, looking for the source of the commotion that has the whole cafeteria silent. Then, the master himself runs through the cafeteria, mic in hand, jumping over backpacks and flinging himself onto an unoccupied lunch table. My brain is still registering what is happening when he begins to sing.
Now listen to me baby
Before I love and leave you
They call me heart breaker
I don't wanna deceive you
I raise my eyebrows while I watch him walk through the rows of tables. Very clever, Justin Knight. I give you credit for this one. Surprise attack during lunch? That wasn’t expected, for sure. There is just one tiny problem with your plan.
If you fall for me
I'm not easy to please
Imma tear you apart
Told you from the start, baby from the start.
Students are standing up and clapping for him, cheering him on. The teachers don’t look surprised, he must have gotten permission. Smart.
I look from Austin to Sean, both look relatively stunned. When I make eye contact with Sean I smirk and wink. He looks at me questioningly. I just wiggle my eyebrows and stand up, clapping with the rest of the crowd, swaying to the beat.
I'm only gonna break break ya break break ya heart.
I'm only gonna break break ya break break ya heart.
I'm only gonna break break ya break break ya heart.
I'm only gonna break break ya break break ya heart.
Woah Woah
Sean stands up with Austin and they do the same. Justin’s gaze meets mine and a look of disappointment flashes across his face when he sees us dancing and clapping to the song. I know he’s trying to intimidate us when he begins walk toward our table.
Theres not point trying to hide it
No point trying to evade it
I know I got a problem
Problem with misbehavior
I maintain eye contact while he continues forward. He can’t scare me. To prove my point I shorten his trek by striding up to him and continuing to dance. He just looks down at me, desperation swimming in his eyes. He wants to break me, break my newly found confidence. The old me would have run away, but the new me is up for the challenge.
If you fall for me
I'm not easy to please
Imma tear you apart
Told you from the start, baby from the start.
It feels like it’s just me and him in this moment of challenge. To heighten the tension I reach up for his hair and run my fingers through it, my other hand planted firmly on his chest while I sway my hips. I watch his face contort slightly before he pushes me back.
I'm only gonna break break ya break break ya heart.
I'm only gonna break break ya break break ya heart.
I'm only gonna break break ya break break ya heart.
I'm only gonna break break ya break break ya heart.
Woah Woah
He suddenly pulls me back to him, his left hand holding my hips close to him while he lowers his head to sing the next part directly to me.
And I know karma's gonna get me back for being so cold
Like a big bad wolf I'm born to be bad and bad to the bone
I laugh at the genius of his song choice. He couldn’t be more correct.
I grab his shirt collar and tilt my lips toward his ear, “You can always decide to give up.”
As if my words don’t make an impression, he lets me go and walks back to where he made his entrance.
If you fall for me I'm only gonna tear you apart
Told ya from the start.
I'm only gonna break break ya break break ya heart.
I'm only gonna break break ya break break ya heart.
I'm only gonna break break ya break break ya heart.
I'm only gonna break break ya break break ya heart.
Run away then, coward. He can’t take it. He knows I’m right. He’ll have to give in eventually. Wouldn’t it just be easier to admit that you’re a man whore and be done with it? I wonder if this is merely a game to him. I may envision a battle field while he envisions Candy Land. If that’s the case, I can always make sure he picks up the wrong card and gets bumped back to the beginning of the game board.
Woah Woah
Woah Woah
Woah Woah
Woah Woah
And with that, he’s gone. He leaves immediately, obviously flustered that his performance didn’t cause me to run away. The cafeteria cheers. Some students glance at me like they know exactly what’s going on between us. I imagine it’s not too hard to figure out.
Sean and Austin clap, but they nod their heads to me approvingly. Job well done, if I do say so myself. I bow slightly for them and rejoin them at the table.
“If I didn’t know any better, it would seem as if your fights are merely sexual frustration.” Austin points out before taking a bite out of his hamburger. Sean nods.
I roll my eyes, “All is fair in love and war.”
“So it’s a war of love then?” Sean smirks.
“You know that’s not what I meant.” I scold him while wrinkling my nose.
Austin shakes his head, “You and Justin are too much alike, of course it would never work out.” He comments coyly while nudging Sean with a wink. Sean chuckles and gives me a look.
“Just admit that you like him and get our band back together. As much fun as this is, I think it’s time to stop this nonsense.” Sean crosses his arms playfully.
My smile falters at the comment, “I do not like him! I despise him, if anything. He needs to be taught a lesson, and that’s what I intend to do.” I say matter-of-factly.
“He likes you, you know. I bet you my whole years’ worth of gig money that he dated Jessica just to make you jealous.” Austin adds.
“Yeah right, he’s just a whore, that’s all there is to it.” I state and take a sip of my water.
“She’s in denial.” Austin tells Sean. I scoff, it’s like he thinks I can’t hear him!
“Am not!”
“Most definitely.” Sean winks.
“Oh, I’m done talking to you two!” I scowl and pretend to be busy eating my lunch. I notice the cafeteria is still buzzing from the show. It’s weird how we can just brush that kind of thing off.
“You know you like him!” Austin taunts.
I feel my cheeks grow hot and I look up at him menacingly.
“You better shut up or I might just let your secret spill!” I threaten.
“Secret?” Sean asks devilishly.
“No!” Austin argues, “Fine, I’ll stop!” he pouts dejectedly.
“Secret?” Sean repeats.
I smile at where this is going.
“No.” Austin says forcefully while angrily taking another bite of his food.
“Tell me! I must know!” Sean pleads.
“I hate you, Reese.” Austin seethes, a bright pink flooding his cheeks.
“He was going to find out anyway!” I say defensively.
“This is not how I wanted him to find out!”
I shrug.
“Reese!”
“Tell me!”
“Leave me alone.”
“Tell him.”
“No!”
“C’mon!”
“Tell him!”
“I refuse!”
“Austin!”
“Fine! I’m gay, okay?” Austin admits quickly and then bangs his head on the table, his cheeks now a bright red.
“Gay? Oh, c’mon I knew that.” Sean sighs disappointedly.
“What?” Austin’s head shoots up.
“You and Kris, yeah, I like I didn’t know what was going on there.” Sean rolls his eyes, “You wear scarves and skinny jeans for heaven’s sake, like I didn’t suspect.”
“Oh.” Austin says quietly.
“See, not that big of a deal.” I smile triumphantly.
Austin kicks me under the table and I practically fall off in pain, clutching the bruised region.
“I question our friendship sometimes.” Austin says with narrowed eyes before poking his tongue out at me.
I clutch my shin to my body and scoff, “Look who’s talking! I think you killed my leg!”
He shrugs, “Sucks to suck.”
Sean cracks up at this and slaps Austin on the back.
“It’s alright, Kris is gay too, you know? He told me last year. All those girls are cover ups.”
I’m pretty sure both mine and Austin’s chin drop to the floor in surprise.
“Now, I’m just ticked off he didn’t tell his best friend.” Austin grumbles, pushing his tray away and crossing his arms.
“He’s…gay?” I ask.
“Yeah, let’s just say he’s about as straight as a wet noodle.” Sean nods, “He’s afraid to come out, though.” Sean tells us, while resting his arms on the table.
“Well, the sooner he comes out, the better.” Austin murmurs, resting his head in his hand with a scowl.
I suppress a laugh and stand up to take care of my tray. So far, today’s been pretty interesting. I never would have thought Kris was gay. I also didn’t think Justin would pop out of now where and begin to sing. I guess I’m pretty oblivious, more so than I thought. I think it’s time I become more observant, it can only make this war I’m fighting easier.
~*~
With a sketchpad in one hand and a pencil in the other I make my way across the building after school to the art department. Mrs. Boots can only make my day better.
I’m shading in part of the drawing when I’m thrown against the wall and pinned there.
I don’t bother to look up or show any signs of pain when I say, “Hello, Justin.”
“You have no idea how mad you’re making me right now.” He grinds out.
“I haven’t done anything.” I reply calmly. Calm is key. It will only throw him off. I won’t allow him to take advantage of my impulsiveness.
“You know what you did! You keep throwing curve balls, knock it off!” he says accusingly, his hands pressing my shoulders deeper into the wall.
I flip my bangs out of my face and look up at him. Ah, flushed as usual.
“Does that upset you?” I grin.
“You know it does! And stop acting so unnatural, it’s freaking me out!” he orders, his expression confused.
I sigh but don’t look away, “So, you’re yelling at me because I’m winning?”
“No! I’m yelling because you’re changing and I hate it! Your hair for instance.” He says, twirling the end of my red hair with his fingertips.
I give a lopsided shrug, “You don’t own me, Justin.”
“I know that.”
“Well, then let me go.”
He gives me a cold look but reluctantly removes his hands from my shoulders.
“Thank you.” I say and straighten my clothes.
“If you’re trying to get rid of the nickname by dying your hair, I’m going to tell you right now, you’ll always be Carrots to me.” He states while adjusting his backpack straps.
“I didn’t dye it because of the nickname.” I roll my eyes, “It’s not always about you.”
He scowls, “Whatever.”
“And if you’re still mad about me pushing you away at the sing-off, you should probably know that if you weren’t such a man whore I would have let you.” I say tell him before turning on my heel and starting on my way.
“Then you should probably know that I haven’t dated anyone since that night.” He calls after me.
I look over my shoulder, “I’m sorry that I don’t believe you.”
“You know, you really ruined that night for me.” He continues.
I stop and turn back, raising an eyebrow.
“You know, Jessica and I weren’t real-she agreed to help me make you jealous.” He chuckles, “It worked.”
I face burns at the comment. What a jerk!
“While everyone was setting up, I was getting this.” He reaches to his back pocket and pulls out a small box and opens it up quickly to pull out a guitar pick necklace. I can faintly see my name printed across it. I bite my lip to keep from gasping.
“You never gave me a chance to officially make you a Heartbreaker.” He says, a small smile visible on his lips.
I’m chewing on my lip so hard that I’m practically drawing blood. My eyes flicker from him to the necklace. Did I overreact? Am I the one who actually ruined everything? I won’t admit it, I can’t.
“It’s yours if you want it.” He says, noting my silence.
I let out a shaky breath, “Justin.”
“I’m done fighting.” He breathes.
“You have no idea how much I want to hit you right now.” I grin.
“This is your fault.” He chuckles.
“You psyched me out, so this is technically your fault.” I argue while crossing my arms over my chest and shifting my weight onto one hip.
He shakes his head, “Do you want it, or not?” he asks, waving the necklace in front of him.
“What happens if I say yes?” I question suspiciously.
“We stop this battle of the bands nonsense then kiss and make up.” He winks.
I snort and roll my eyes, “How about we stop the battle of the bands nonsense and make up?” I correct.
He shrugs, “Just take the necklace, Carrots.”
I laugh and jog up to him, snatching the necklace from his hands and pulling him into a hug.
“I don’t forgive you for kicking me yesterday, though. That was uncalled for.” He murmurs in my ear.
“Are you kidding me? You were being a jerk!” I huff and pull away, giving him a light shove.
“Bad habit.”
“Bad excuse.”
He shakes his head and smiles, “Welcome back” he says while offering his hand.
I take it and give it a light squeeze.
“I still hate you.”
“And I you.”