Tuesday afternoon I scuttle down the hall quickly after school with a flyer clutched in my hand. The black paper is thin and is ripped slightly from me pulling it off the wall. My eyes search through the crowd of students, frantically looking for a fair haired boy wearing a white t-shirt. When my eyes finally rest on him I push my way through the crowd, winning some death looks, and tug on his arm. His head swivels over to me and grins.
“What’s up?” he asks casually while flinging his locker door open noisily.
I bounce on the balls of my feet while waving the flyer in front of his face. I bite my lip while smiling slightly, watching his face grin devilishly. Snatching the flyer from my hand his eyes scan over the paper while raising an eyebrow.
He begins to quote the poster in a news reporter voice, making me giggle, “The Heartbreakers are going through a break up. The band is heartbroken to announce their breakup from Reese, Sean, and Austin. To get over the breakup the Heartbreakers are having a Heartbreak Concert tomorrow night at the Lunch Box.”
“Sad, right?” I ask through a fits of laughter.
He lowers the flyer from his face with wide eyes.
“Do you know what this means?” he asks, now waving the flyer in my face.
“Karma?” I ask with amusement flooding my face.
“Karma.” He confirms, while slamming the locker door shut, “We’ve got to find Sean.”
He grabs my wrist and pulls me along the hallway in search of Sean. After not finding him by his locker we run for the door in an attempt to catch him before he leaves. Students send us confused looks as we push past them and jump around them. Austin loses grasp of my wrist and I dive around a tall senior boy who just scowls at the immaturity, like I care.
I spot a tall brunette boy near the school entrance and guess it’s Sean from the skateboard hanging at his side.
“Sean!” I yell to the brunette boy pushing the front door open.
The boy doesn’t turn around and I hope that I didn’t just call out to some random stranger. Austin and I sprint towards the door and push it open to see the boy begin to skateboard down the sidewalk.
“Sean!” I yell again and this time he turns, almost tripping over the board.
“What the he-“
Austin tackles him, knocking Sean off the board and pinning him against the freshly cut grass.
Austin pants as he explains, “They really are heartbreakers!” he says, smothering the poster in Sean’s face.
Sean shoves Austin off forcefully then pulls the flyer off his face and examines it.
“Heartbreak Concert?” he sighs in disbelief, “Well, aren’t they using this to their advantage.” He grumbles while sitting up.
“You do know what this means, right?” Austin offers unsurely.
Sean stares at the poster and scowls, “We are not crashing this one.”
“Why!” Austin and I whine in unison.
“Well, how would you like it if your ex ruined something that meant a lot to you?” he asks, using the analogy that our band breaking up is like a couple breaking up.
“He kicked you out of the band, Sean!” I argue grumpily. He is not turning on us right now, no way!
He sighs and stands up, “It just doesn’t feel right.”
“Karma!” I remind him, clenching my fists.
He shakes his head and runs fingers though his hair, “How would we do it, huh? We haven’t even practiced!”
“We can improvise! We’re good at that.” Austin chimes in, nodding to me.
“Guys-“
“Shut up! We’re doing this.” Austin says firmly.
“Doing what?”
We all turn to find Kris standing behind us, holding his skateboard over his shoulder with his eyebrow raised. Sean crumples the flyer and hides it behind his back while I force myself to wipe the shock off my face and look casual. Austin on the other hand is frozen in place.
“Nothing.” I say quickly.
Stupid! You sound so guilty! I scold myself.
“Uh-huh.” Kris says, unconvinced then looks at all of us awkwardly, “So, um…”
“What do you want?” Austin snaps irritably, a pink hue resting on his cheeks.
Kris and him glare at each other for what seems like ages. Both obviously feel betrayed by the other.
“Nothing.” Kris breathes.
“Uh-huh.” Austin imitates.
Kris chews on the inside of his cheek, his eyes hurt as he watches Austin turn away from him.
“You should be going then.” I tell Kris softly.
He glances at me then at Austin again.
“Austin, I-“
“Save it.” Austin mumbles while pushing past Kris and skateboarding away.
Sean does the same and I follow him, giving Kris a cold look as I pass him. He hurt Austin, I’m not entirely happy with him at the moment.
To my surprise we all end up at Sean’s house and quietly follow Sean downstairs to the basement. The house is quite, nobody is here but us.
“We’re crashing that gig, for sure.” Sean announces while heading over to his keyboard and flicking it on, “Austin, get your butt over here. We’re practicing.” He snaps.
Austin and I exchange glances. He certainly changed his mind fast. We choose to not pester him with questions, though and Austin picks up his guitar and begins to strum lazily.
I listen for a while, unsure if I should sing or not.
“Whenever you’re ready.” Sean tells me over the sound of his keyboard. His fingers staccato over the keys and I watch in half a daze. Austin’s playing sounds sloppy and unrehearsed, yet, I can feel a slight rhythm.
I nod and let my feet drag against the smooth concrete floor, thinking of something. A mixture of song lyrics swirls in my head, each song begging to be sung. I pick a song I’ve listened to recently, one that I know most of the lyrics to. I don’t have a mic to raise to my lips, instead I begin to sing softly, more to myself.
This is the best thing that could've happened
Any longer and I wouldn't have made it
It's not a war, no, it's not a rapture
I'm just a person but you can't take it
The same tricks that, that once fooled me
They won't get you anywhere
I'm not the same kid from your memory
Well, now I can fend for myself
“Louder!” Sean orders.
I scowl at him but squeeze my eyes shut as I belt out the next part of the song.
Don't wanna hear your sad songs
I don't wanna feel your pain
When you swear it's all my fault
'Cause you know we're not the same
No, we're not the same, oh, we're not the same
I open my eyes for reassurance and Austin nods to me, his fingers working over the guitar strings.
Yeah, we used to stick together
We wrote our names in blood
But I guess you can't accept that the change is good
It's good, it's good
Well, you treat me just like another stranger
Well, it's nice to meet you, sir
Well, I guess I'll go, I best be on my way out
Well, you treat me just like another stranger
Well, it's nice to meet you, sir
Well, I guess I'll go, I best be on my way out
I face them as I sing, still wary of the song. Still, I stride over to Sean and rest my head in my hands on his keyboard while I sing the next part sassily.
Ignorance is your new best friend
Ignorance is your new best friend
Ignorance is your new best friend
Ignorance is your new best friend
After finishing the last few lines I listen to them continue to play. Finally, they realize I’m done singing and stop.
“That’s it?” Sean asks.
“I want to save it, okay?” I frown.
“Well, that’s not very helpful for us.” He nods to Austin.
I sigh and walk away from him, running my fingers through my hair. This just isn’t the same. They don’t understand what crashing a gig means. It’s not like it’s rehearsed a ton of times, it’s spontaneous. I want to live in the moment.
I want to show up at the gig and unplug all of their equipment, silencing them. I want to suddenly appear in the crowd with a microphone, belting out a song while Austin and Sean raid the stage. That’s how I want to crash their gig.
“Well then, tomorrow just follow my lead. Either that, or come up with something better.” I say and leave the basement.
Sean and Austin never stick to a plan anyway. As much as Sean claims we need one, he never really follows one. Austin has some sense of what I want and will lead Sean, so I’m not worried. I should be taking this more seriously, but it’s not like we are putting on a star performance anyway, we’re just messing with them. Does war ever really follow a plan? No, they do what works at the moment. And for this moment, spontaneity works for us.
I head home, skateboarding smoothly along the road. I really have gotten good at it. The wind tosses my hair back and I lean from side to side making the board swerve across the road. My mind seems to wonder, thinking about the Mural Wall, which seems to have been forgotten in the latest drama. Even as I think about it now, I realize I’ve never had a chance. I was dumb to pursue something that would never happen.
~*~
After school Wednesday I get home and hurry upstairs. I’ve had this whole thing planned since last night. Today we are crashing their gig, and if we are going to do this, we might as well do it right.
I pull off a pair of suffocating skinny jeans and trade them for the shortest shorts I own. Next, I skip over to my closet and trade my sensible t-shirt for a tank top with big bold leaders reading “Trouble” that I bought a few months ago. I run into the bathroom and pull my hair into a messy ponytail and smudge some eyeliner around my eyes. Then, I pile a bunch of bracelets on. Slipping on the first pair of shoes I find, I head out the door and skateboard over to Sean’s house.
I arrive shortly and hop up to his front door and begin banging on it like mad. When a pretty petite woman opens it my mouth drops open and I back away blushing.
“Sorry.” I mutter while her eyes take in my appearance. Gosh, this must look bad.
“Who are you?” She asks, her chocolate brown eyes flicking up to meet my hazel ones.
“I-uh-Reese.” I stammer, taken aback by the woman’s cold look and “perfect” aura.
She narrows her eyes at me before stepping back and calling into the house, “Sean! Reese is here!”
I hear stomping around and a frazzled looking Sean appears behind the woman.
“Hey, Reese,” he smiles, “This is my mom, mom this is the girl I was talking to you about.”
I give a nervous little wave while his mom surveys me, again. She clicks her tongue and raises her eyebrows before walking away, leaving me with Sean.
“Lovely woman.” I say awkwardly, suddenly self-conscious about by appearance, which is just supposed to be a show for Justin. He messed with my head and this is supposed to mess with his. It’s not that I like Justin or anything, but teasing him and rubbing what he can’t have in his face always gives me an advantage.
Sean muffles his laughter with his hands and turns his head away for a second, “You just had to show up wearing that.” He mutters, shaking his head and inviting me in.
I follow him down into his basement, his mother staring daggers at me the whole time. Darn it, I always mess things up, don’t I?
Austin sits on the bottom step fiddling with the hem of his shirt. My eyes scan the basement, finding that the instruments are all packed up, ready to be moved.
“Alright, so we have to hide these at the Lunch Box somewhere.” I say, picking up Austin’s guitar and messing with the guitar strings.
Austin eyes me up, but not in the way you think. In some ways, it’s nice that he’s gay, he doesn’t drool whenever I wear stuff like this. Instead he just shrugs it off, I’m not attractive to him, and it’s nice.
“Under the stage.” Austin says automatically, “It will be easy to unplug their stuff and plug our stuff in instead if we hide them under the stage.”
I nod and turn to Sean who nods as well while picking up his keyboard with relative ease.
“Let’s do it.”
Austin drives us there and I notice that the Heartbreakers haven’t set up yet, perfect. We try to look as casual as possible as we push our stuff under the stage. One of the girls working the register gives us a quizzical look but doesn’t stop us. They don’t know the band is broken up, so they are probably wondering why we look suspicious.
“Alright, so I’ll come back here when they’re performing and pull our stuff out and plug everything in.” Sean says while pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose, “Justin usually brings the extra mic just in case of technical difficulties so I’ll have Austin bring it to you.”
I nod and we leave the Lunch Box and jump into Austin’s car. The performance isn’t for another hour and a half.
“What are you going to sing?” Sean asks me curiously.
“I don’t know what I’m singing yet.” I say truthfully and earn a playful slap.
“How can you not know what you’re singing?” Sean questions in mock concern, a small smile on his face.
“I live in the moment.” I tell him with a wink and roll down the passenger side window, hanging my hand out.
Sean leans forward from the back of the car and switches the radio on. We all sing goofily back to Sean’s house.
Your stare was holdin',
Ripped jeans, skin was showin'
Hot night, wind was blowin'
Where you think you're going, baby?
I sing loudly, hanging my head out the window and pointing to a group of guys walking down the sidewalk, earning some cheering and whistles. I laugh and pull my head back into the car.
Hey, I just met you,
And this is crazy,
But here's my number,
So call me, maybe?
It's hard to look right,
At you baby,
But here's my number,
So call me, maybe?
Hey, I just met you,
And this is crazy,
But here's my number,
So call me, maybe?
And all the other boys,
Try to chase me,
But here's my number,
So call me, maybe?
I make wild gestures and bounce in my seat. Austin and Sean sing along with Sean poking his head in between Austin and me, making crazy faces. I laugh and throw my head back with giggles. Austin turns the radio up louder as we continue to sing. The song is almost over when we arrive in Sean’s driveway. Austin leaves the car running with the music blaring and we hop out and dance around the car. Austin takes my hand and spins me around until I’m dizzy and we all fall onto the lawn with crazed laughter, our faces flushed, and our chests heaving.
“I love you guys.” I breathe and close my eyes contently while I lie in the grass.
“Aw! Group hug!” Austin shouts and throws himself on me.
Sean jumps on top of Austin and I let out a painful groan, “Dog pile!” he chants.
“You guys suck!” I manage to say through strained breaths, “Get off before I die!”
They crawl off and give me teasing smirks. I slap them both and sit up. Austin turns off the car and returns to sit with us on the lawn.
When Austin’s taken a seat beside me I turn to the both of them and wiggle my eyebrows at them with a devilish grin “Are you guys ready to give the Heartbreakers some Karma?”