Chapter Nine
"I have an idea."
It was the end of the school day. People shoved and bumped into one another, in a hurry to leave this horrid place we all called school. Usually that bothered me; people bumping into me, pushing me, jabbing me in the ribs with their elbows. But I was in a good mood, and I was sure nothing could change that.
"You've built your walls so high no one can climb them. But I'm gonna try."
"What is it?" I turned to him and asked, regarding his idea.
"Well," He started, "I was thinking that if you wanted to, I could help you break out of that shell you're hiding in. You know, only if you want to."
I could say that I was definitely not expecting that.
I looked up at him with stunned eyes. He was rubbing his neck. "I mean, it was just an idea. We don't have to go through with it, I--"
"Logan?"
"What?" He said, his wide blue-eyed gaze fixed on me.
"I think I could do that."
His eyes gleamed with hope. "You do?"
"Yeah," I nodded slowly. "I know it's going to be hard, but.. maybe it's for the better. I want to change."
No one in the past three years had attempted to help me get over all the things I had gone through. Of course, I told myself that I never actually wanted help because I couldn't trust anyone after everything that had happened to me, but the fact that Logan would help me do that, made my heart melt. I knew it was going to be hard, but if he was willing to help, I was willing to let him.
He smiled widely. I smiled shyly in return and looked away, feeling my cheeks heat up in a soft blush.
As I glanced away, I realized that we were outside of school, standing on the steps in front of the entrance. I also realized that Kacey was walking towards us, looking very pissed off.
Uh oh.
"Woah, what happened there?" Logan asked, his eyebrows furrowing in confusion when he saw the change in my expression.
"Kacey's walking towards us." I mumbled so she wouldn't overhear as she approached us. Right when Kacey had stopped in front of us, I looked up at her, and I could tell she was fuming by the way she was tightly clenching her jaw. She glared at me.
"I thought I was clear." She said sharply.
"Listen, Kacey. You should probably know that there isn't even the slightest chance that we will ever be together." Logan stated as he motioned between himself and her. "You need to stop telling her to stay away from me when nothing will ever happen between you and I."
Her eyes burned with fire as she stared at him square in the eyes. It scared me when the corner of her lips slowly tugged upwards into a smug smirk.
"Fine," She finally said. She locked gazes with me and made sure to let her cold eyes linger on mine. Then, without another word, she walked off and left us behind.
I looked up at Logan with worry clear in my eyes. He noticed my fear and grabbed my arm. His hand was warm and soft, and it comforted me.
"Hey," he said softly. "It's okay. I won't let her hurt you or do anything to you."
I nodded, smiling shyly at him.
❧
Later that day when I was cooking myself dinner, my phone started to ring. I walked over to the counter where I had left it and looked down at the caller ID. A smile lit up my face and I accepted the call, pressing the phone to my ear.
"Hey, Emmie."
"Hey, sweetie. How are you holding up?" Her voice echoed through the phone.
"I'm good." I smiled even though she couldn't see me.
Before she could answer, I thought of something and quickly asked, "Wait, you have Skype right?"
"Yeah, why?"
"We could video-chat!" I said excitedly.
"Oh, I hadn't thought about that! Okay, let's hang up so that we can do that instead."
"Okay, see you in a bit." I hung up and rushed to turn the stove off, telling myself I would continue cooking later.
I ran up to my room, where I had my laptop and logged into Skype. In no time, I could see the face I hadn't seen in a over a week appear on the screen. However, even with all the excitement, I could see the bags under Emmie's eyes, the way her smile didn't reach her eyes and how tired she looked.
"Oh, Honey, I miss you so much." She said with a small smile.
"I miss you, too, Emmie."
I really wanted to hug her. I wanted to feel the warmth and love I felt in her comforting arms.
"How are you?" I asked.
"I'm fine."
I raised an eyebrow. "Alright, let's try that again. How are you?"
She let out a long sigh. "I'm just.. really stressed. There are problems with Henry's will that I'm trying to fix, and while I deal with his death, I have to deal with not being there with you, too, and... I just want to get all of this fixed so I can go home." She said, rubbing her forehead.
"But," she added, "let's not talk about that. It's depressing. Any more news on this Logan boy I keep hearing about?" She raised her eyebrows and smirked.
She could be such a teenager sometimes.
I rolled my eyes but felt my lips tug upwards into a smile. "Well actually, he came up with this idea. He's going to help me kind of open up and step out of the bubble I've been trying to hide in. It'll be hard, I know that already, but I don't think he'll give up on this."
"I'm glad to hear that, babe. He seems like a nice boy. I think he'll be good for you." She smiled, but quickly let it fall. "Have you.. told him, yet?"
"No," I replied, looking down at my hands. "I'm not sure I want to."
"How come?"
"How come?" I asked in disbelief that she would even question my reasons. "Because I know he'll run away the moment he can. To him, I'm just really shy and have a hard time making friends. But if he finds out about that... he won't see me the same way."
"Well, you never know until you try." She pursed her lips. "But he does know that you live with me right?"
I smiled sheepishly. "Uh, yeah, I might have lied about my parents being alive.."
"Lauren!" She cried. "The more things you keep from him, the more hurt he will be when he finds out."
"I know, I know." I said, chewing the inside of my cheek. "I'll tell him eventually."
"Okay, good. Oh, and I've been thinking that I might be able to come back for a few days, before your winter break."
"I just want you to come as soon as you can. I already miss you so much and it's only been a week and a half."
"I know, Honey." She smiled sweetly. "I have to go but we'll talk tomorrow, all right?"
I nodded and offered her a small smile.
"And when I come back, I'm gonna want to meet Logan." She winked.
"Yeah, okay, Emmie." I said sarcastically with a roll of my eyes.
❧
"We don't have to go, we can just stay here--"
"Come on, Lauren. It's only, like, five minutes away."
"But I, uh, I forgot my wallet. And I don't want you to pay for me."
"Lauren, it's not a big deal, I'll pay."
"But--"
"I know this isn't about money, and last time I checked you loved Whataburger; so why don't you want to go?"
I stared up at Logan and chewed the inside of my cheek anxiously. When I saw the seriousness in his eyes, I looked away and let out a long sigh.
It had been two days since Logan came up with his plan. It was our lunch break and he wanted to go to Whataburger. But I had been stalling for the past five minutes and giving him reasons for why we didn't have to go.
There was a reason why I didn't want to go, but it was something I preferred not to discuss with him.
"I'm just not hungry, and I don't want you to pay for a meal I'm not going to finish." I fought.
Logan gave me a flat look. "I don't believe you." Then his eyes softened. "Come on, just this one time."
I really didn't want to go, but I knew I would feel bad if I didn't. I sighed and having given up, I said, "Okay, okay. Let's go."
Exactly five minutes later, we had arrived. Entering the fast-food restaurant, the cashier greeted us politely.
"Hi, welcome to Whataburger!"
"Hi," Logan replied with a friendly smile. We walked up to the counter, and I observed the menu above the girl. She didn't look that much older than Logan and I, only by a couple years. Glancing down at her name tag, I read Grace.
As Logan ordered, I observed Grace. I could see the dazed look in her eyes - the one I often found myself recovering from, the one that was typical with Logan.
He had that affect on girls.
"Will that be all?" Grace said, completely forgetting that I came in with Logan and that I was standing right next to him.
Logan turned to look at me with a small expectant smile. "What are you going to get?"
At least he didn't forget.
"Oh, right, sorry about that." Grace said, laughing nervously and faking a smile.
Yeah, sure.
I mentally glared at her. "I'll just get a number one, with a large order of fries, and a large Coke."
After assuring us our food would be out shortly, we turned and walked over to a booth.
"And you said you weren't hungry." Logan said with a smirk as he sat down.
I rolled my eyes and attempted to play it off when really, I was internally dying of embarrassment because I had been caught in the act and I didn't even realize it.
"So what was the real reason you didn't want to come?" Logan asked, raising his eyebrows expectantly.
"That was the real reason!"
Logan eyed me suspiciously. "Okay," he said slowly.
"Number 18 and 19, your orders are ready!" Grace said from the counter.
"I'll go get it." Logan commented before getting up and walking over to our burgers.
I took the time to slide in my seat embarrassedly and puff out a heavy sigh as I ran a hand through my hair.
The reason why I didn't want to come was because Emmie's words from our last conversation replayed in my mind over and over. She told me that the more things I kept from Logan, the more hurt he will be when - if - he found out. And if we kept hanging out like this, we'd grow closer as friends. I wanted to save him from hurt. I wanted to tell him everything, I really did. But I just couldn't.
Logan returned, and we dug in, starting with our fries.
"So," Logan started. "I was thinking about the plan, and I came up with the first lesson, or step, or whatever you want to call it."
I felt both nervous and excited. "What is it?"
"Well, in order to become more open, you have to get used to talking and interacting with people you don't really know. If you can learn how to be yourself around people you don't know, it'll raise your charisma and help you make friends more easily."
I didn't feel any better with his explanation. I wondered what this "first lesson" was going to involve. Whatever it was, I knew it was going to be for my own good so I waited for the big reveal.
"That's why, the first thing we're going to do is get you a job."