(Bella's POV)
I sat on the rock as I over looked my beautiful territory.
There was no sound as the night sky reflected off of the lake.
The moon was shining so bright and it was mesmerizing as I stared at its painted like surface.
Clouds danced around it, as the stars played the choir singing an amazing harmony that was silent .. yet, so loud.
I felt a hand on my shoulder but didn't turn to see who it was.
The tingles that ran through my body told me who it was.
"It's beautiful outside isn't it?"
I nodded my head and sighed.
"It is." I looked over and came face to face with Jackson.
He smiled at me but I couldn't bring myself to do the same.
He dropped his smile only slightly and dropped his hand from my shoulders.
I turned back to the lake and just allowed my mind to wonder.
"You can't keep beating yourself over this. It wasn't your fault Arabella."
But wasn't it?
"You said it yourself, she was dead. You saw her life vanish right before your eyes. How she is alive now is beyond any of us."
But was she? Or was I just too naive to tell the difference from dead and slightly gone?
"Just tell me what do I have to do, to make you feel better." His voice was so soft that if I wasn't so far gone into my own problems I probably would have melted into his arms.
"Can you take me back five years from now? Can you put me back into the cellar where they kept us?"
I turned to him to see anger and sadness both in his eyes. I don't really talk about what happened when I was gone.
Mainly because Jackson gets mad knowing everything they did to me and he wasn't able to stop them.
The sadness I think is because me leaving him would hurt him a lot.
"If I could send you back... I wouldn't."
I turned to see that his eyes seemed a little darker and I knew he was fighting his wolf.
I laid my hand on top of his as I held onto it and looked back at the lake.
"I know you wouldn't but If I could I would." I said.
I could feel that his wolf was slowly backing down but still, I didn't let go.
"You think she is still alive though? I mean... it's been five years. Five years with animals who use you for their own sick games. How could I have left her there?"
I looked back at him, fighting the tears as they threatened to spill but I wouldn't let them.
"Bella you did everything you could that day to save her. It was probably a Hail Mary type of thing that the Moon Goddesses had pulled. You suffered enough in that place. It was your time to leave. I know you didn't want to leave her there but there is honestly nothing you could have done for her."
He wiped away the tear that did spill and I closed my eyes as he pulled me into his chest.
" I just can't help but feel guilty. She was my friend... and I left her there."
He whispered soothing words into my ear as I cried into his chest.
I wanted so bad to go with Braxton when he told me what was going on but he wouldn't even look at me.
He just kept packing and saying the same words over and over again.
"She's Alive." I don't know if it was more to himself or to me but either way I was just as shocked as he was.
I remember begging for him to forgive me and to believe me that I wouldn't lie about something like that but he just wouldn't listen.
He didn't even say anything to me before he left.
I remember I was just there visiting my dad cause we both were going to go and see Eva's grave without Braxton.
But that was because he would never go with us. He would just lock himself into his office and not come out for a couple of days.
I want to believe he was in there crying for her, begging the moon goddess to answer his prayers, or even maybe just talking to Eva.
But knowing how he is I doubt he was doing any of those things.
After awhile we just sat there as he held me.
I finally pulled away as he looked down at me and our eyes met.
He kept looking from my eyes to my mouth and with each passing second his head got closer to mines.
He kept hesitating, wondering if it was okay if he could kiss me.
He was finally close to my lips that I could feel his lips gently brush against mine.
I grabbed the back of his neck and pushed his lips to mines as the sparks that I felt since day one ran throughout my body.
The kiss wasn't quick but it wasn't long lasting either.
We pilled apart and he looked at me with so much love that I felt butterflies in my stomach.
I was in my twenties now but he made me feel like a school girl.
"I love you so much Arabella" he said as he grabbed some hair and tucked it behind my ear.
I kissed him one more time and smiled.
"I love you too."
He stood up on his feet and extended his hands for me to take.
He pulled me up and we walked hand in hand back to our home.
We didn't live in the pack house anymore. We moved out two years ago to get a place of our own.
But we still lived about two miles away from the pack house just in case of an emergency.
We decided to move out when we first found out I was pregnant with my son, Zander.
Oh course we didn't want to leave the pack house. But three years after he was born, we got tired of sharing a home.
Jackson was exited at first me? I was freaking out.
I didn't talk to Jackson for a whole two weeks when I found out I was pregnant.
Truth be told I was scared. Scared that I wouldn't be a good mother.
Scared that I wouldn't be able to give Zander everything he really deserves.
My dad was happy. He told me he thought he would never see the day that he could be a grandfather.
Not because he was too old or anything.
But mainly because he didn't see Braxton settling down and starting a family.
Braxton wanted to hurt Jackson at first when he found out.
His reaction really wasn't what I was expecting.
When I told him, he just starred at me and nodded his head.
Saying his congratulations. But when he saw Jackson he landed one straight on his face.
Braxton didn't even look mad when he did it. He honestly looked bored.
But he whispered something to Jackson in his ear that scared the crap out of him because he tuned white as a sheet.
He still hasn't told me what he said all those years ago but still shudders when I mention it.
I think its pretty funny.
But now, Zander is my world.
I regret nothing when it comes to my boys.
Braxton sometimes watches him when he wants.
He doesn't seem to mind either. From what my dad has told me, he cracked one smile when Zander tried to be like Braxton by breaking a glass with his fist.
Braxton told him that it was plastic but he still tried.
Of course I was furious at first because I thought Zander was trying to break his little hand trying to break his plastic sippy cup but my dad told me that braxton would move it slightly back so that the impact wasn't too hard.
Of course Zander being the smart kid he was for his age figured out what Braxton was doing so he kept scooting forward.
That's when Braxton smiled.
I feel like Braxton would be a good father if he and Eva were to have a kid together.
If only he could learn how to be a mate first.
The sun was starting to rise and I knew I wouldn't be able to fall asleep now.
Jackson had a pack meeting in two hours so he decided to go and take a shower and get ready.
Zander was still sleeping so I figured I could make breakfast for everyone.
I plugged in my phone that connected to the little speaker in the kitchen and decided to play any random song that came on.
"I choose you" by Sara Bareilles came on and I started to sing my heart out.
Jackson thinks I have a really nice voice when I sing.
I don't think so but I still sing just because I like too.
A few minutes later the song had ended and another one started.
I heard little feet running down the stairs and around the corner of the kitchen a little body came skidding to a stop as he saw what I was cooking.
"Pancakes!" Zander screamed as he came running towards me with his cute little smile on his face.
He hugged my legs and I laughed out loud at his little show of affection.
I bent down and picked him up.
Zander wasn't something Jackson and I planned, but I will never have any regrets about having him.
He really was my world. He was the proof of my love for Jackson and his love for me.
"What do you want to do today?" I asked as I ran my fingers through his curly hair.
He laughed and pulled my hand out of hishair so that he could ruffle it the way he liked it.
"Can we go for a run mommy?" He asked with hopeful eyes.
I smirked because Zander couldn't shift yet but sometimes he likes to sit on my back while I run in wolf form.
"Maybe..... but you have to help mommy clean the house" I laughed out loud at the disgusted face he made because he really hates cleaning.
He still cleans though but complains the whole time, making up little excuses as to why he cant clean anymore.
'My tummy hurts mommy.'
'I don't feel good.'
'Daddy doesn't clean'
Jackson wasn't to happy about that complaint because I realized Zander was right Jackson doesn't clean.
So when he got home from the meeting with the elders I told him what Zander had said and made him help me clean the house.
He kept narrowing his eyes at Zander who was eating his ice cream as he watched us clean, but Zander didn't care he just kept eating his ice cream.
I thought it was the funniest thing ever.
I was snapped out of my thoughts when I heard his little voice run through my ears.
"Mommy?"
"Hmm?" I looked down to see his eyes watering up and I immediately got concerned.
"Whats wrong Zander? What happened?" I racked his little body over and I didn't see anything physically wrong with him.
"Do I have to clean the bathroom?" He asked on the verge of tears.
I let out a short breath of relief thanking the moon goddess that it wasn't something serious.
I completely forgot that he's terrified of the toilets and that's partially my fault.
We have automatic toilets and one day I told Zander to pick up his toys from the tub for me and I don't know how but he dropped one of them in the toilets.
And when he reached in to grab it the toilet flushed and zander freaked thinking the toilet was trying to eat him.
So now he only uses the toilet downstairs that's not a 'monster' like the other ones. His words not mines.
"No sweetie you don't. You can just clean the dishes for mommy than we can go on a run."
I wiped away his tears that slipped and smiled down at him.
"Don't cry. Mommy doesn't like to see you cry. It breaks mommy's heart." And even though I smiled I still meant that with a heavy heart.
I don't like seeing him hurt or scared. Makes me think of me when I was hurt and scared and it's the worst thing you could ever feel.
It wasn't until I smelled burnt food that I had remembered I was cooking.
"Oh crap the pancakes!" I put Zander down and turned around to flip the pancakes over and although they weren't completely burned the look on Zanders face told me he wasn't going to eat them anymore.
"Now that is not how a pancake should look" I turned and saw Jackson at the door way to our kitchen as he stood there trying to fix his tie.
TRYING being the key word, no matter how many times I show him how to tie his tie he still will never get the hang of it.
I threw the pancake in the trash can and walked over to Jackson.
"Yea well we don't always get what we want now do we?" I swatted his hands away as I took both ends and tied his tie for him.
He smiled down at me and placed his lips against mine.
"Ewwwwww mommy that's nasty. " We broke apart laughing at Zanders reaction to us kissing.
Jackson phone rang and I knew it was the guys calling him for his meeting.
"Alright I will see you guys later on okay?" He kissed me on the lips before he bent down and fist pumped Zander.
"Okay I love you, Mind link me when you are on your way back." He got up and nodded his head at me.
"I love you to and I will."
Jackson got into his car and I watched him as he left turning the corner until I could no longer see his car anymore.
"So, I guess the pancakes aren't good anymore. So how about some eggs, bacon, sausage, and fruit before the run?" Zander nodded his head up and down really fast and went to jump in a chair that was tucked underneath the kitchen island.
I served him his plate, and we both ate talking about random things as always.
"So hows pack training?" It wasn't my idea to have him training so early but Jackson and his father insisted that it would be good for him considering he's going to be the Alpha.
Although he does train, its always with other kids his age, who's parents are high ranked as well.
So its the kids of the pack warriors, pack doctors, beta, thirds, Alpha, etc.
In total I want to say there are about twenty kids in that class.
Of course we do let some of the other kids from the pack train as well if their parents allow them too but just like me, they don't agree with training at such an early age and I could understand why.
"Okay I guess, but Daisy is really making me angry. She thinks she could beat me up mommy."
Daisy was the pack warriors daughter. She was a year younger than Zander but she was really smart, and one tough little girl.
But she has 7 older brothers so I could see why she is the way she is.
"You know this isn't so that you could see who's better. It's so that you guys can be good together."
"I know. I just want to be better." He said with a small smile.
"Mommy?" I looked up from my plate and at him only to see anger and confusion swirl around in his little eyes.
"What's wrong Zander?" My voice was soft as I spoke because I knew something was bothering him since he started this class.
"Bryan hit Daisy the other day." His eyes grew darker and a gasped escaped my lips.
"And I got really mad. So I hit him back and he fell and started to cry. Daddy said I shouldn't tell you because he doesn't want you to be mad at me. But someone told me to do it."
Jackson had already told me because I can always tell when hes not telling me something. But I didn't know someone told him to do it.
"Who told you Zander?"
He looked confused and shook his head.
"I dunno. A voice in my head." If my face didn't show how I felt then I don't know what would.
Could that voice be his wolf?
We always knew Zander was smarter than the average wolf but to have developed his wolf right now at such a young age? Its unheard of.
I fixed my expression and tried to be serious with Zander because even if it was because of his wolf that is still no excuse to hit someone else.
"I know you were only trying to protect her but that is no way to do it. Violence is never the answer Zander okay?"
"Okay" He looked down at his plate and started to just move the grapes with his fork.
Hmmm could he be getting his wolf? And if so does he already recognize Daisy as his mate?
I have a feeling they are going to be mates when they get older.
I told Jackson and he agrees with me.
But only time will tell.
"Hey! let's go for that run now!" Zander perked up and nodded his head.
I put the dishes in the sink and figured we would come back and clean later.
"Going on a run with Zander." I mind linked Jackson knowing he would be upset if I didn't tell him first.
"Okay be safe babe" I heard his voice echo in my mind.
"Always am." I said back.
"Ready?" I asked
Zander took a few steps back and I shifted.
His eyes showed amazement and excitement as he climbed onto my back.
His hands gripped onto my fur as I began at a slow pace.
About twenty minutes in I started to go fast.
It felt good to be in wolf form.
I was dodging branches, rocks, the forest animals, logs, and everything in between.
"hahahah Faster mommy! faster!" I barked to let him know I was going to go faster when Jackson's voice came through my head.
"Get back to the house. We need to talk." The hesitation in his voice made me skid to a stop.
Zander almost fell but I pushed him back up so that he was okay.
"Is everything okay? Whats wrong?" I could feel the panic bubbling inside me but the only thing wasn't me who felt like that, it was Jackson.
He didn't reply and I knew it was because he closed his mind link.
I turned around and rushed home to Jackson.
There were three cars outside that Ive never seen before, and men who were outside talking to Jackson.
He saw me coming and whispered something to them that I didn't catch.
Jackson grabbed Zander and told him to go get a bag ready that he was staying with my dad for awhile.
I shifted back and he handed me a shirt that fell to my knees.
I could see the worry in his eyes and I knew something was wrong.
"Its Eva isn't it?" I whispered as I could feel my heart skip a beat.
Jackson looked at me with sorry felt eyes and my heart dropped at the words that came from his mouth.
__________________________
I know I've been lagging but my computer kept deleting the chapters and it's so annoying to have to rewrite the next 3 chapters but hopefully this holds you all off for while!
Enjoy! Xoxo❤️