"And I am sorry my conscience called in sick again
and I've got arrogance down to a science."
I Slept With Someone in Fall Out Boy and All I Got Was This Stupid Song Written About Me - Fall Out Boy
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ADI THOUGHT SHE had been keeping her cool rather well.
But when Pan didn't return after the hours slid by, Adi felt tricked, felt her doubt and fear rising until they screamed. Did Pan not trust her? Was he in too deep, too obsessed with the power of the heart, to care what she thought anymore? Had he gotten sucked into the game he was so insistent on playing that he forgot why they'd begun playing in the first place?
Sighing audibly, she scanned the perimeter for the umpteenth time. Most of the boys were talking or climbing the ropes (she still had yet to win) or training with their weapons.
Henry sat a few feet away from her on the same log, watching the others. He had reappeared alone in a cloud of Pan's characteristic green magic, still asleep, not long ago. Adi supposed that meant Pan was busying himself with revenge — and she figured Henry had slept through his own kidnapping. That was, until Henry mentioned a strange dream about Neal stealing him away. Her mind struggled to connect the dots: Neal got away with Henry, Henry woke to speak with him, then was taken back by Pan and shoved under another sleeping spell.
"You've been right next to me the whole time," she had lied smoothly, swiftly. "If your father was here, I think we'd know."
Henry looked down, frowning. "Yeah," he'd said. "If he were here he would have taken me home by now."
Now, Adi toyed with the bowstring in her lap, zoned out when Henry said: "Ow!"
"So you're the kid Pan has been looking for all this time?" Devon stepped out from behind where they sat, his spear level with Henry's shoulder.
"Ask him," Henry said, disinterested. Devon took a swipe at him, and he leapt up in alarm. "Stop it!"
The general movement of camp halted as all attention focused on them. No one made any move to harm or help. Technically, Adi considered, she might be in charge in Pan and Felix's absence, meaning it would be up to her to quell the conflict, but she was more interested than concerned.
"If you can't take this, how are you gonna handle what Pan has in store for you?" Devon stepped closer, taunting Henry with a feral grin.
(Yeah, like Devon knows what Pan's plan for Henry is.)
Henry said nothing, just moved back. His gaze fell on a stick at his feet. Devon nodded at it, and Henry picked it up.
Devon lurched at Henry, wielding his spear like a sword. Henry fought back, catching the weapon against his own. It was easy to see he'd never had to fight anyone before from the hesitant way he tensed and jabbed. Clearly he didn't believe Devon had actual intent to harm him.
Devon had his teeth bared, prepared to attack again, but paused as a smooth voice sliced through the tension.
"Not bad." Pan was standing at the edge of the compound, leaning on the same tree Adi had fainted against, his arms crossed casually, like Adi hadn't been raging at his absence. "But wouldn't it be more fun if you had real swords?"
'More fun' was a bit of a subjective term in Adi's opinion. "Pan –" she tried to cut in, but he lifted a hand to silence her and waited for Henry to respond.
"I've never used a real sword," Henry said quietly.
Pan moved behind him. "This is Neverland. You have the heart of the Truest Believer. You can use whatever you want – you just need to believe."
A knot of nerves formed in Adi. Henry didn't radiate magic in the same subtle way Pan and Emma and Regina did, and she was unsure what that might mean. Perhaps, as the Truest Believer, it only worked on Neverland.
"Close your eyes," Pan instructed, "and believe you're holding a real sword."
Henry obeyed. The stick shifted to a shining silver blade in a heartbeat. Hushed exclamations of shock and murmured whispers of praise erupted around him.
Adi, however, remained quiet. She had felt Henry's magic, unlike anything she'd felt on Neverland before: strong, pure, beautiful. Something about a person like Pan exploiting such pure magic felt wrong, tainted, revolting.
Pan stepped back, grinning. Henry opened his eyes to marvel at the creation. Devon squared his shoulders for a rematch. This time, his smirk had faded a little.
"What are you waiting for?" Pan taunted. "Go on."
Henry lunged at Devon, who flinched back. Pan and the others yelled encouragement after him as he pressed on, swinging his newly fashioned blade as he gained confidence.
Eventually, Devon ran out of room to avoid Henry, and Henry sliced the wooden spear in half in one clean strike. Despite Devon's fearful expression, Henry kept going until Devon stumbled back, clutching his cheek.
It took a moment for Henry to realize the gash on Devon's face was his doing. "I — I'm sorry! It was an accident."
Wiping some of the blood away, Devon glared accusingly.
Adi was reminded of the scar she had given Felix, of the smaller ones she had given Killian up and down his arms when he had been teaching her how to fight.
Grief doesn't pass with time – Fallon learned that the hard way. You only get used to it; life without that person doesn't become easier. It becomes normal.
When Liam died, Killian expected Fallon to take months to shift from hurt to fury. It took less than a day.
By that time, the newly renamed Jolly Roger had long since abandoned the coastline and all loyalty to the queen. Dawn blossomed along the horizon in a watercolor of pink and orange and yellow, the same colors as the dresses Fallon clutched as she stomped up to the deck.
Killian didn't have time to question her before she had dumped them in the water. The warm colors blended into the sunrise's reflection and disappeared into the murky depths.
"What was that for?"
Fallon rubbed the dark circles beneath her eyes. "I'm pretty sure pirates don't wear pink." She was currently in maroon, one of the few dark colors she owned. "Can I use your knife?"
He handed it over warily, keeping a watchful glance on her as she hefted the puffy bottom of the dress and sliced into the sleek fabric. When she was finished, the dress itself reached just above her knees. Everything she'd cut was dumped into the water.
The sleeves were next, excessively billowing cloth shaved away until Fallon stood in the morning's chill shivering but lighter. The world felt smaller.
Before she could second-guess herself, Fallon brandished Killian's knife at him. "You said you'd teach me to fight."
He stared at her like she was insane. But there was a second blade at his side, ready for his use, and Fallon was ready for him.
"Fallon, I'm not — I didn't mean now."
Fury bubbled inside her. "I need to learn how to defend myself."
Killian sighed. "No, you don't."
"I don't?" she asked. "Maybe if I'd been better trained, Liam would have let me come with you, and he'd still be alive. But he didn't, and he's not. You said you would train me. Were you lying to me, Killian?"
Killian pressed a hand to his temple. "Are you sure about this?"
"Positive."
It was true. Fallon was brimming with hate, with anger, with spite. When her brother showed her the basics, she was ready for more. By the next week, she was ready to spar; her first was with him. Every time her shoulders met the deck, every time her blade clattered to the floor, every time she stumbled, Fallon thought of Liam, of the one who murdered him. And she got back up.
Not long after the lessons began, Killian brought her slices of wood varying in widths and lengths. "For making a bow," he explained at her bemused look. "It will be better for you to make your own, so it fits you exactly."
She squinted at the wood. "What makes you think I'd be a good archer?"
"You prefer distance fighting, working alone, staying hidden. You'll train differently than you have been with a sword, but I think you'll be better for it."
Fallon hummed, imagining herself on the fringes of a fight rather than in the thick of it.
"I'll teach you," he told her, even though she knew he'd never shot a bow in his entire life. "You'll be better than everyone on this ship put together."
Fallon beamed at this, a wicked thing that Killian had never seen on her before. "Let's get started."
The memory came to Adi so clearly she could still feel the pain of her first spar. It had been a long time since she'd seen a memory like she used to, like she did before she knew of her double identity. It had been a long time since she had seen herself as Fallon Jones.
She shook it away, turning her attention to the present.
"Adeline, I have something I need you to do," Pan said, unaware of her being lost to memory. "Are you up to the task?"
Adi flipped through a mental list of every single thing she wanted to spit at him, the good, the indifferent, the angry, before she decided on the simplest answer: "No."
He arched an eyebrow. "No?"
"You're hiding something from me," she said, returning the expression. "I'm not going anywhere until I find out what."
Something like alarm flashed across Pan's face, but he masked it with an easy smirk. "What gives you that impression?"
"You keep disappearing, you aren't telling me what you know, you have this idea that you have control over everything, when really, you can't predict what Henry's family will do next. Pan, you need to tell me things, or I can't help you. I'm not going to keep blindly following your orders."
"I'm not hiding anything, I promise," he replied smoothly, taking her face in his hands and scrutinizing it. "Have you been getting enough sleep?"
"I'm fine," Adi said as she ducked away, the words tasting like acid. "What do you want me to do?"
(I have given you so many opportunities to tell me the truth. When things go sideways, I won't be here to pick up the pieces of your shattered plans.)
"That's the spirit," Pan said, still smiling. "Your brother and the prince – David, I believe they're calling him – are currently off on their own, searching for something to heal the wound you so nicely gave him."
"Dead Man's Peak," Adi concluded. "The water."
"There we go."
"What am I supposed to do about that?"
"Don't deter them – Killian knows not to fall for that. No, I just need you to occupy them for a while so I can take care of something."
"Occupy them?" Adi repeated, perplexed. "And how do you propose I do that?"
"Stall, Adeline. I don't care how."
"Right," she said in clipped tones. "I'll see you later."
Pan opened his mouth to speak, but she disappeared before he was allowed the chance. A vicious thrill of satisfaction shot through her.
Adi estimated the prince and the pirate would be near the base of Neverpeak; if they weren't already there, they would be soon. When she heard their voices, she knew she was in the right place.
"– not when I can still save Henry," David was in the middle of saying when she arrived.
She stood directly behind Killian and studied the two. The prince had the bottom portion of his shirt pulled up to reveal the wound Adi had given him. The cut had turned black, and his inky veins were clawing up his chest and neck. Killian was half supporting him, half leaning against the rock for backup.
"Ooh," Adi sung, startling Killian so much that he nearly dropped David. "That doesn't look good. Maybe you should have listened when I told you to get out while you still could. Neverland is unfortunately short on doctors at the moment."
Once he was sure the prince could stand on his own, Killian turned to glower at her. "Fallon, what the bloody hell are you doing?"
"Y'know, I'd love to tell you, but one, that isn't my name, and two, where's the fun in that?"
"Alright, Adi, I don't assume you're here to help. Either Pan sent you, or you want to start a fight. If that's the case, I suggest you look elsewhere." Killian looked back to David, who was attempting to hoist himself up, gritting his teeth in pain. "Save your breath, mate, or what little time you have left will be less."
After another groan, David did what he was told. Killian leaned back, running a hand over his face. "Out with it, what do you want?" he said to Adi.
She tilted her head to stare at the sky in false contemplation. "I want a lot of things, but we can't always get what we want. You know all about that, don't you, Hook?"
"Aye," he responded gravely. He didn't seem to miss her calling him Hook instead of Killian. As he went to say more, he stopped short at the sound of David rustling around. "Mate –"
"This is a military insignia." David held up an item that looked similar to a luggage tag, brushing dirt off of it. "Says Jones on the back. You know him?" He tossed it to Killian, coughing.
Both siblings tensed. Killian said, "Aye. He was our captain and our brother. We voyaged this island a long time ago."
"Don't say we like it includes me," Adi muttered. Both men turned to her. "Remember that, Hook? Liam died because both of you refused to let me come? It's funny, because I almost died the same way." She yanked her sleeve up to show him the pale scar that slashed through the middle of her forearm.
Killian stared impassively back at her. "Are you under the impression that your presence would have stopped Liam from dying?"
"Maybe. I guess we'll never know."
"If I'm remembering correctly, Liam was the one who told you to stay behind. Anything else you'd like to yell at me about?"
"Oh, I'm just getting started."
"Are you?" he asked with a lazy dip of his head.
"Stop acting like you don't care," she accused with a mixture of anger and disgust.
"Fallon –"
"Adi. And you know what? It doesn't matter anymore, because look where we are now. I'm the one in control. I'm the one with a say in your fate. So tell me, Hook, should I lock you away and leave you forever? Should I poison you with dreamshade and then refuse to heal you?"
"I thought you were dead!" Killian nearly shouted, stepping closer to her. "All of us were sure the queen had ripped your heart out. Milah was gone, you were gone, I didn't know what to do."
"You did," Adi hissed. "But you were too much of a coward."
"Speaking of being a coward," he said bitterly. "How's it feel to be allied with the person who murdered our brother? Or have you forgotten Pan was the reason Liam died?"
"Liam's death is on no one's hands but yours. Who decided it was a good idea to leave without me? Who would've been able to convince him not to test the poison? Who left the island knowing that the water wouldn't work outside of Neverland? Who refused to listen to Pan's warning? This is all on you, Killian. Not him."
Killian shook his head. "He's brainwashed you, Fallon. No matter what I tell you, you'll continue to believe what you wish because you look at that demon like he put the stars in the sky."
"He didn't put them in the sky. I did." Killian looked at her like she was insane. "I only sided with him after I realized that you, the only family I had, left me behind."
"He's lying to you," he replied. "You can't trust a thing he says."
(Don't you think I know that?)
Before she could answer, David interrupted. "Adi, what are you really doing here? Don't you have more important things to be dealing with?"
Her gaze slid slowly from Killian to him. "What, like brainwashing your grandson? Pan's got that covered, I believe. I came to make sure you're still alive."
"Me?" David's brow furrowed. "What do you care?"
"You've mixed Pan and me up," she said. "I don't believe in needless death – when you leave, I want to make sure you do so breathing."
"Maybe you should've thought of that before you shot me."
"Maybe you shouldn't have infiltrated my home."
David stared at her. "So you'll kill Henry, an innocent child, without hesitation, but when it comes to us, you suddenly care? Where was this before?"
She fixed him with a cold glare. "Henry won't die. But I assure you, if you get in our way, you will. As much as I'm a Lost Girl, I'm also a woman of honor. And as much as I hate him –" she jabbed her thumb in her brother's direction "– it looks like you're in good hands. Well, hand."
"Aye," Killian said before David could respond, rolling his eyes at the hook joke. "He is."
"One more thing. You stand in my way, I will not hesitate to take you down."
"Why not just kill us now?" David asked.
She arched an unimpressed eyebrow. "Don't tempt me." Then she vanished.
If she wanted them dead, wouldn't it have been done already? Her arrow had hit him like that on purpose – Pan's orders. Their underestimation of her would just make victory sweeter.
- - -
Killian reveled in the burn of rum down his throat. Sighing, he closed his eyes and trailed his fingers along the sleek metal of his hook.
A throat clearing shattered that tranquility. Reluctantly, Killian opened his eyes to see the devil himself leaned against a tree with his arms crossed over his chest. "You really should've taken my deal."
"It doesn't look like I need your help with Emma after all, mate." Killian shot him a false smile and took another sip.
"What, you think that kiss actually meant something?" Pan pushed off from the tree.
"I do. I think it means she's finally starting to see me for the man I really am."
"What," Pan chuckled, "a one-handed pirate with a drinking problem? I'm no grown up, but I'm pretty sure that's less than appealing."
"A man of honor," Killian corrected him.
"A man of honor who abandoned his family over a petty revenge," Pan shot back.
Killian snorted. "Do you really believe that? How have you managed to get my sister to believe every single bloody word you say?"
Pan stepped closer, tilting his head to the side. "All it took was a few pushes in the right direction. Adeline did everything else on her own. I heard the two of you talked today. Don't know what it is you said to her, but you've got her all in a mood now."
"She's eternally in a mood, mate, I'm surprised it's taken you so long to notice," he said as he capped his rum.
"Well, you know best how good I am at influencing others. How well I can keep a secret. She can keep secrets, but can you? What would a man of honor such as yourself do with a big, fat secret?"
Huffing, Killian said, "I suppose it depends what the secret is."
"Baelfire," said Pan, rising to his full height. He waited for Killian's head to snap toward him to continue. "Neal. Whatever name he goes by these days. The guy Emma loves. Henry's father."
"What of him?" Killian got to his feet, moving toward Pan. "He's dead."
"No, I'm afraid not. He's alive. And that's not even the best part." Pan stepped back toward the jungle and spread his arms wide with a manic grin. "He's in Neverland!"
"No," Killian muttered under his breath.
Pan either didn't hear or didn't care. "I'll leave it up to you to tell Emma or not. I'd hate to get in the way of a budding romance. Let's see what kind of man you really are." He moved further into the trees, nearly disappearing into the jungle, but he leaned back to add, "And you should know – yours isn't the only budding romance."
Killian thought of what Snow had implied, the possibility that Fallon's curse had been lifted by True Love's Kiss. "What's that supposed to mean?"
Pan shrugged offhandedly. "I'll leave that up to you to decide," he said, and left Killian with a thousand questions hanging from his lips and a single fear burning deep inside.