((Cause Jesse Eisenberg and Woody Harrelson are freaking adorable!))
It wasn't long after Wichita and Little Rock bounced yet a third time did Tallahassee and Columbus finally figure out that those two girls would never change, and they would never truly be family. This time, the girls spared those men with the decency of not ever showing up again, probably living the life conning other survivors to the plague, or better off dead in Florida's opinion.
Tallahassee Florida was extremely grumpy about the situation, because he was pissed about how those girls were heartless and took all of his weapons, or so he claimed. But deep down, Columbus Ohio knew the redneck was secretly hurt. Even though Tallahassee reminded the college man a hundred times to never get attached, he never fully took his own advice and had considered Little Rock as the child he had once lost to the zombies. And now she's gone.
The two men drove in a car they had stolen not long after Wichita and Little Rock hijacked Tallahassee's precious Hummer and left the state. Three days and three nights those men drove in silence, only stopping to tap a zombie with their bummer or to make a short rest stop to god knows where. Soon, they found a jackpot of weapons, but not much food besides granola bars.
Deep down, Columbus knew he could never leave Tallahassee. Sure, he could've pictured himself ditching the con girls whenever if it was a need for survival, but Tallahassee? Man, if zombies were barreling down on them and the blood lust of a redneck ordered the weak-lump-of-flesh he calls his partner to run, Columbus wouldn't have it in him. Sure, before he ever had a partner and was thriving on his own, he wouldn't hesitate to run. Rule #1: Cardio, was his only friend at the time. But now, Tallahassee was his friend, and Columbus felt a gut wrenching feeling whenever he pictured that broken middle aged man wandering alone again, looking for Twinkies by his lonesome. In short, neither Columbus nor Tallahassee left the other behind.
The strange conversation of reincarnation came up one time while driving down a dirt road. Columbus came up with the stupid idea that he and Tallahassee might've known each other in a different time and age, with different names that actually made sense. Tally called him a spitfuck, as usual, but took the following silence as a moment to actually think about the situation, and knew the kid might be right. He secretly felt like he's known Columbus all his life, even the though the college kid was much younger.
A year or two dragged on, and Tallahassee noticed how the kid changed dramatically. It's like puberty had hit him at a very late stage. His curly brown hair had started to flatten and grow shaggy, and speaking of shaggy, Columbus had a killer stubble going along his jawline. He gained only a few pounds, and didn't look as skinny and fragile as he used to. However, it was his personality that changed the most out of everything. Tallahassee blames himself for how quick and easy Columbus is always ready for a comeback without even much of a stutter now. He had grown cocky, and a little arrogant. A control freak, really. Tallahassee believes that maybe his enthusiasm might've rubbed off on the kid in a strange way, because now Columbus was no longer squeamish when it came to driving an axe into a Zombie's weak skull or his arms didn't shake when he held a barrel to one's head. Either way, he changed and it kinda pissed Tallahassee off at the way Columbus now held a smug façade against him whenever they had an argument. And since Columbus was now very sarcastic, there were more arguments then there had ever been before. And Tallahassee hated the fact that he was no longer the gruesome one. All he ever got out of this friendship was getting older.
One day, they talked about their real names, the ones they hid from each other with the names of the places they're from. Columbus talked about his, as did Tallahassee, and both agreed to keep the 'D' and 'M' words to a minimum. They didn't like being called those names nowadays, and preferred being called after the places they were born in.
That day changed dramatically when they stumbled across a zombie being killed by the stereotypical chainsaw, and a young guy, even younger than Columbus, came into view, his leather jacket bloodied by the brains of the monster he had murdered. When they didn't ask for his name, the grinning idiot just introduced himself as Brooklyn, since that's where he's from, and kept the 'J' word to himself. He offered the two men some food in exchange for one of their guns, since he only had a bloody chainsaw, and they agreed. Tallahassee and Columbus then meet his two companions. Two women, who called themselves LA and Quantico, keeping their 'H' and 'L' names a secret. LA was a redhead with a mysterious look and twisted sense of humor that Tally and the new Columbus both liked. Quantico was strict, almost authoritative. She was stubborn and kept to herself most of the time, but when they got to know her, she would smile and crack dirty jokes, and she was more outgoing.
Two weeks sped past and Columbus barely noticed. He and Tallahassee thought what harm could one day of drinks and crackers with these three could do, and had such a blast that they didn't even notice the time go by. They didn't admit it, but they felt at home, and didn't find any reasons not to trust their new companions. Soon enough, all five were living in that car of theirs, happy whenever a zombie decided to try and crash the party.
Whenever the girls took turns driving, it was chaotic. LA loved to drift and speed past other abandoned cars and see if she was fast enough that her dust might tip some over. But once it got to Quantico's turn, Columbus realized she followed the law, no matter what kind of state the world was in. She went the speed limit, she merged into lanes, she stopped at lights or signs, and to his amusement...she wore her seatbelt. Tallahassee noticed this,
"You, too?! Man you are just like Columbus when he used to be a college nerd!"
But no one could actually blame her. She was from Quantico, Virginia for crying out loud! The home place of the Federal Bureau of Investigation. She had her stories...about her run-ins with the feds, she even had this horrific tale about an agent who arrested her by the name of Dylan Rhodes. She also admitted that she drove the way she did to hang onto the life she had before the zombie apocalypse occurred.
Quantico hangs onto her pre-plague life more then the others, and so she's willing to do a lot in order to remember the good old days. One day, she risked her life to grab as many CDs on the shelves of Target before the zombies could get her. She had a couple duffle bags full by the time she made it to the exit, in which the detectors went off and confused the zombies so she could make her escape. But it was all worth it in the end. Everyone was thankful for her sacrifice while singing at the top of their lungs to all the songs on every CD she managed to grab. The drives aren't as long as they used to be. Columbus practically threw Rule #7, Travel Light, out the window because of the CDs.
Speaking of rules, Columbus decided to show his new companions the rulebook he had kept tucked away in his pocket, in case any of these rules helped them out of a sticky situation in the near future. Brooklyn found it useful for survival purposes, and Quantico absolutely loved the fact that Columbus was so organized. LA was a little like a female Tallahassee, who kind of just improvises when under pressure.
They find themselves in Missouri and get to a gas station, finding not much around besides one gas pump and one burnt up car. Inside, there were shelves in which most of the food was expired, but the gang managed to salvage as much as they could and had enough food to last them another extra week or two. The shelves and walls of the store were wood, like the gas station was going for the inside of a log cabin look. The color made you feel warm inside, and welcomed, even though it reeked of bad milk and rotten flesh. The sunset outside made the inside wooden walls glow with the warm colors of brown and other wood shades. Quantico surprised everyone by playing one of her CDs in the car and turned it up so it could be heard in the store, and Columbus prayed there wasn't a Zombie for miles. The song, Stuck Like Glue by Sugarland came on and Tallahassee immediately loved it because of its country background. Quantico liked country among tons of other music genres, and laughed along with Florida as he offered her a dance. They danced like crazy, linking arms and spinning around, acting like a bunch of country freaks. Soon, they had the others joining in, dancing and singing obnoxiously to the lyrics,
'Woah oh uh oh, stuck like glue.
You and me, baby, we're stuck like glue.
Woah oh uh oh, stuck like glue.
You and me, baby, we're stuck like glue.'
Tallahassee and Columbus both shared the same look that night, after the song ended and a handful of zombies broke up the party. After the two watched as their new companions fought like hell as they all made their grand escape, laughter filling up the car as they drove into the sunset. After all that, the two men who have known each other for so long, they knew...
They knew this is where they belonged.