Slowly, my composed-self was regained and control came. Now, because of my Louboutin killer heels, my head reached his equally and equally, I returned his burning glares of my own version.
"Its a pleasure to meet you..." The sole of my heel tapped in the marble tile of this residence. "Mr. Donofrio," I added.
Matulis at nakakapako sa kinaroroonan ang mga titig na ibinibigay sa akin ni Ram. Napupuno iyon ng umaatikabong galit at nakakapasong pagtingin. Unti-unti akong ngumisi sa kaniya, inilalagay ang buhok sa kabilang balikat.
His bloodshot eyes followed the movement and burned patches on my exposed skin. The trail eventually met my eyes.
"Seems like it'll be a serious business you two will dedicate yourselves to..." aking kumento atsaka malambing na kumapit sa braso ni Arjuna.
My hair was dangling at one side, and my expressive eyes was taking in everything that was thrown at me. Umigting ang panga ni Ram at unti-unting tumaas ang aking kilay.
His hair was a little shade darker, I noticed. The clothing he's so used to did only less to cover how thick his muscles had become. From his neck, to his shoulders and down to his legs. It was pure muscle.
"Every business should be a serious one, Miss Cajucom..." Bahagya ang paghalos nito sa pang-ibabang labi gamit ang kaniyang thumb. Kumislap sa ere ang kaniyang diamond cuff links at mamahaling relos.
"Oh, I wouldn't be so sure about that." I batted my long jetblack eyelashes at him.
Ang aking aksyon ay para bang panggatong sa lumalagablab na apoy sa kaniyang mga mata. Humigpit ang panga ni Ram at nagbadya na ang kunot-noo. Muntik na akong mapabunghalit ng sarkastikong tawa.
I matched his piercing eyes effortlessly. Nagkaroon ng hidwaan sa aming pagtingin ngunit ang kaniyang lamang ang lumalaban. I was just simply laid back, watching what will be his next move. My mouth twitched in amusement and his eyes followed every corner, every curve and the even texture of my chosen lip color.
Due to natural phenomena, one strap of my crossed back cami top glided downwards. Napailing na lamang ako roon at kaagad na sinubukang ayusin.
Ram was scrutinizing every layer, every detail of me. I was so sure that the changes in me was the source of the wrath in his eyes. Pero, sadly in his part, he was no longer in control.
"I'm sorry I had to talk to my tita. She'd misheard the venue so I called someone to pick her up." Mayroong mga kamay na siyang tumulong sa akin sa pag-aayos ng strap. There were no traces of corruption in Sean's careful hands.
"Thank you..." I smiled at Sean and untangled myself on Arjuna's biceps.
Mas lalo lamang naging ebidente ang poot sa mga mata at mukha ni Ram. His palms were turning into fists, knuckles turning white. Mariin ang kaniyang tingin sa aking balikat at sa kamay ni Sean.
My eyes rolled heavenwards, a mocking grin threatening to break into my face.
"So, where do you want to go, Chrissy?" bulong ni Sean sa akin. Nag-isip ako ng mga lugar ngunit matagal na rin akong hindi nakakapunta rito.
"I don't know. You pick..."
"I hate it when you say that," kumunot ang noo ni Sean sa akin ngunit kumikislap ang kaniyang mga mata.
"Shall we, Mr. Donofrio?" yaya ng aking pinsan.
Nagkibit-balikat muna ako kay Sean bago hinarap ang dalawa.
"Don't take too long, Arjuna. And remember, most opportunities are traps. Like a wolf wearing a sheep skin. So..." I smiled widely at my cousin.
"Will do. Thanks!" Nakipag beso ito sa akin bago umalis, ang kaba sa kaniyang puso ay ramdam ko rin. Ito ang kaniyang unang proyektong hahawakan, and I felt bad for him, putting up with people like a Donofrio.
Habang sila ay paalis, kinakausap na ni Arjuna ang isang beterano na sa aming industriya. But no matter how interesting the subject is, those haunting eyes always learned to follow where I'd be. Nakalingon pa rin sa akin si Ram, nagnanakaw ng mga nag-aapoy na tingin.
He looks so ready to kill.
As I was standing regally, a solid fierce look in my eyes, and a shadow of a man behind me, I figured looking at this man will always be a mistake. A sin. But the important thing is, I was still standing firm on my ground.
If not for fear, sin would be sweet, they say.
It was all true. Only, I wasn't afraid of this man, of his influences or of his power. What I was afraid of was to fail. The impurity of him, and me together. And I have never been so grateful to fear for something.
Nilingon ko na ang aking paligid at si Sean. Umalis na kaming dalawa roon.
Sa isang mala vintage na restaurant kami kumain. Hindi iyon masyadong kamahalan at naging over dressed pa ako. Katabi namin ang anyong tubig at kumiskilap ang mga ilaw sa repleksyon.
Pagkatapos kumain ay hinatid na ako ni Sean pabalik sa unit.
"That wasn't so bad," kumento niya, his boyish grin taking over again.
"Are you expecting it to be?" Tinaasan ko ito ng kilay but I agree with him. That was a decent one kahit na puros pagbibiro ang ginagawa. Its his forte.
"Matagal na tayong magkaibigan so you'll know I'm lying when I say no," Sean deeply chuckled.
"I thought so," sabi ko at mas lalo lamang lumakas ang kaniyang pagtaka.
Tumitingkad lalo ang kislap sa kaniyang mga mata kapag ganyan. Sumingkit ang kaniyang mga mata atsaka pasimpleng humawak sa aking likod. I slapped his hand away.
Bago tuluyang umalis si Sean ay nagpaalala ito sa kaniyang selebrasyon. I greeted him happy birthday one last time. Nang nakasakay na ako sa elevator ay nilingon ko si Sean. His shoulders sagged disappointingly because I still haven't given him a gift.
Napailing na lamang ako rito. Mamaya pa naman kasi iyon.
Ramona was still picking her dress for the celebration when I got inside, habang si Beth ay nasa bathroom. Inihanda ko na ang mga gagamitin naming heavy make-up at pang style ng buhok. I showered after Beth since Ramon was still at it!
After almost three hours, nakababa na kaming tatlo at inaantay ang si Arjuna na susundo sa amin.
"Is there someone on the front seat?" asik kaagad ni Ramona sa kapatid.
"Wala! Bakit naman magkakaroon?" dipensa naman ni Arjuna.
All of us girls shook his head at him. Naalala rin siguro ni Ramona iyong isang beses na binuksan niya ang kotse ni Arjuna. Mayroong babae roon, tulog at tila ba hindi nadamitang maayos. Pareho silang nagkasigawan at nagimbal.
I remember that disaster perfectly where and because Arjuna couldn't keep his pants on!
"Stop ganging up on me!" reklamo noong malanding lalaki.
Bago sumakay ng kotse ay nagkaroon muna ng picture taking sa lobby. Arjuna was the photographer. I was in the middle, Beth and Ramona on my side.
I wore a two-piece dark red dress, which the top was strapless. My torso was bare, and a lot of skin was revealed but the color of the evening gown complimented my skin perfectly. Nakataas ang aking buhok ngunit may strands sa gilid ng aking mukha. I wore my teardrop earrings.
Beth wore a stunning Prussian blue chiffon dress. Dalawa ang slit nito sa magkabilang mga hita at ang tattoo niya mula sa binti pataas ang highlight, while Ramona looked so daring in her glittering mermaid dress. It was a low back, and also with a low dip on the front. Her tan matched it well.
"Ready!" Itinaas ni Arjuna ang iPhone, and we three posed with a fierce look. There were also candid shots at iyon ang pinost ko sa Instagram habang patungo sa hotel.
'Familia ante omnia,' I captioned.
The event was strictly formal. Chandeliers in the high ceiling were busy watching the us down below, champagne was flying everywhere, and the enormous amount of luxury was hard not to miss.
"Hi, girls! Picture!" Our group went to us and together we posed for the hired professional media team.
It took a while, socializing and greeting Sean's family and all, but eventually, we all went to our specific tables. Lima kami sa isang table na malapit sa unahan at sa pamilya ni Sean. Arjuna brought a girl with him in our table. Sa tingin ko ay bago pa man magsimula ang program, patay na ito sa mga titig ni Ramona.
"Melody, you look constipated," flat ang boses ni Beth. Tumagilid ang aking ulo sa aliw.
"Arjuna, she's sweating a lot..." I sipped in my champagne glass, slightly swirling it in my hand after.
Maganda naman ang babaeng ito. Tahimik. Mahiyain. Hindi tulad noong mga dinadala niya. Ngunit ang aking big na katanungan, kung may Melody siya rito, sino ang babaeng naghatid sa kaniya sa airport?
"I don't see you in our school. Where did my brother picked you from?" Ramona raised her perfectly done eyebrow.
Arjuna glared at us three but he received no response. I personally liked this sweetheart when her lips quivered and her face paled ten times more. She's like a breath of fresh air.
"Sa isang catholic school ako galing, at...nakilala ako ni Arjuna noong dumayo sila sa school..."
"She's from Killian's school, ate..."
"I hate that school and all the people in it," ngisi ng nakakaumay si Ramona.
Sa loob-loob ko ay napahagalpak na lamang ako. Wala naman sa akin kung sa wakas ay magkakatotoong relasyon na si Arjuna. Ito naman ang kaniyang unang beses na may ipakilala sa amin at nakakatuwa iyon.
The program saved Melody. Unang nag-speech ay ang mga magulang ni Sean atsaka pumasok siya. He looks so comfortable up there, talking to everybody. Kay raming babaeng nakatingin sa kaniyang malinis na postura at napabuntong hininga na lamang ako.
With him being in his tux and his hair styled, he looked so neatly gorgeous. That was one of this attributes that I really do find comforting and at the same time attracting. The spark in his eyes looked so genuine and his smile was breathtaking. Sean was the type of man with a very firm and masculine body that doesn't make him loo intimidating.
But makes you want to hug him, live in rainbows together.
Nakatingin lamang ako sa kaniyang mukha kaya naman hindi ko na halos narinig ang kaniyang buong sinabi. I may have heard him tell a familiar scenario but I couldn't be so sure. With his eyes stopping to meet mine every now and then, I couldn't really focus.
Pumalakpak ako kasabay ng mga guests niya pagkatapos.
The presentations came next and my smile widened. Ang ipinasingit kong presentation tungkol sa kaniya ay naisalang sa kalagitnaan at doon ay napahagalpak ako.Some was his embarrassing moments at our school and the crowd roared in laughter. The message I put at the end was enough for me to earn a longing stare from Sean. The trouble against the school council was definitely worth it.
Tinanggap ko mga tingin ni Sean at tumango. He was a long time, and a very dear friend of mine afterall.
It was a busy night for him. Halos hindi na kami magkausap dahil marami siyang table na pinupuntahan. Hindi na muna ako lumapit at ang personal sanang ibibigay na regalo ay isinama ko na lamang sa espesipikong table para sa mga gift.
The after party was to take place in a high end club and by the time we arrived there, the place was booming with booze and cigarette smoke. The evening dresses earlier was discarded and replaced by a much, much shorter one.
"You're awfully quiet," puna sa akin ni Beth.
Napataas ang aking kilay dito. Pinagmasdan ko ang mga kasama namin dito sa VIP lounge ngunit normal naman silang lahat. So...
"What are you talking about?" Umiling ako kay Beth at ngumisi.
She remained to be analyzing me and just shook her head. Uminom ito sa kaniyang vodka at nagmasid na lamang.
What?
After an hour of drinking, I finally gave up on my inhibitions. Niyaya ko si Beth na magsayaw dahil si Ramona ay may partner na. She rejected me kaya inirapan ko ito. Hinanap ng aking mga mata si Sean ngunit busy pa rin ito sa kaniyang mga guest.
I got up and went to the dancefloor. Medyo tipsy ngunit kayang-kaya pa.
"Hey, babe..." Mayroong mga kamay na lumatag sa aking baywang. Patuloy lamang akong sumayaw at ngumiti sa di-kilalang lalaki.
He's a good dancer so it needs a match. Ilang minutes kaming nagsasayaw hangga't sa nagpaalam ako rito para uminom pa.
"That was great," kaniyang puri at tumango sa akin. I grinned back.
Kadarating ko pa lamang sa lounge ay alam na kaagad ni Beth ang gagawin. Tinulak niya sa akin ang dalawang shot glass at iyon ang ininom ko. Pagkatapos ng fifteen minutes na pagyayaya ko ulit dito ay tumanggi nanaman siya. My body started burning again so I had to dance again.
Iyon ang aking routine. I dance with somebody, hoping he'd be nice but every time I chugged more liquor, I was kinda hoping he'd be naughty.
Pagkatapos ng aking sayaw sa isang lalaki ay humiwalay ako rito. He let me, ngunit agad ding may pumalit sa aking likuran. This one had a very masculine cologne. I loved it and sniffed his neck while we're dancing.
Hindi pa man nakikita ang mukha nito ay ayos lang sa akin. Mas magaling itong sumayaw kaysa noong una ko, at alam lahat ng aking parte kung saan ididiin at kung saan hindi.
"Hi, missy..." I felt him grin on my shoulder.
A shiver ran up my spine. Nawala rin kaagad ang bibig nito roon ngunit ang kaniyang hininga ay ramdam ko sa tuktok ng aking ulo.
"Hey, honey..." I purred and started to slightly bend down.
Even without the song, the alcohol was enough to make me this daring and carefree. Para akong insektong dinidikit ang sarili sa ikakapaso niya.
"You're not from around here, are you?" The voice chuckled deeply and the little hairs on the base of neck, and thighs stood up.
"No..." I bit my lips and held his neck. A moaned escaped my mouth when large hands gripped my shoulders.
"Then, where? From the heaven? Or from the clinic?" Inikot ako kaagad ng mga kamay na ito at nakita ko si Sean na tamad na nakangisi sa akin.
Nanlaki ang aking mga mata. I can't believe its Sean!
"You little prick!" Hinampas ko ang braso nito, ngunit hinarang lamang ni Sean ang mga kamay.
"I'm sorry! I just can't help it. Nagsasayaw ka kasi rito at kung sinu-sino lang. They don't deserve a goddess, Chrissy," his breath was still minty with only a tinge of alcohol.
Kaya naman pala ayaw sumagot sa aking mga bahagyang pag grind. Kaya pala ayaw ng dirty dancing na sinisimulan ko na kanina. He's being gentle because he's Sean.
"And you think you do?" I challenged, still dancing.
"Its still my birthday." Pinakita niya sa akin ang relos ngunit wala naman akong makita. I laughed and slapped his arm.
"I loved the presentation earlier, Chrissy. It was very much appreciated. Thank you so much..." Naging matino ang mga mata ni Sean at ngumiti ng dalisay.
I whistled, slightly sobering up. Napanguso ako dahil hindi makapagsalita.
"You are very welcome..." I smiled lazily at him.
"Although, there were some pictures that I personally hate. Hindi ko alam kung saan mo nakuha ang mga 'yon and I have no plans of knowing where, knowing everybody was recording the whole time."
"Hey! I had to go up against the student council to get every picture in it! And I think, especially your pre school photos, were the cutest. Imagine, the school still kept it all this time," sagot ko.
"We have a very great team of historians, and did I mention I hate historians?" Nalukot ang kaniyang mukha.
Humalakhak ako. Sang-ayon ako sa kaniya dahil picture iyon ng picture sa aming school ngunit nakakatuwa sila. We always need pictures to remind us of something.
Halos natapos namin ang isang mix nang may tumawag ulit kay Sean. Nagpaalam ito sa akin with his puppy eyes and I let him. Kumaway ito sa akin habang paalis at iyon din ang ginawa ko.
I was left all alone on the dancefloor once again, with all the indecent, gentle, boring, and fuck boys around me. I didn't felt the need to dance with someone so I danced alone.
Ramdam ko ang kay raming tumitingin sa akin lalo na ang mga lalaki sa aming grupo, at mga di-kilala.
My hands were in the air and my body was swaying to the beat. I closed my eyes to feel the wave of music, and just to feel free. Slowly, I lowered my hands to my head. Caressing my hair down to my neck, and to my chest. The beat was my partner and it matched my agonizingly slow movements.
Hands of my own reached my torso and hips. My fingertips drummed as the beat followed the flow of my body. I felt the material of my dress hike up the moment I danced lower, bending a little bit.
I lift my hands up once again as the music got wilder. I hummed with the familiar song as an unprecedented feeling crept up my bones.
Habang sumasayaw na nakapikit ay nakaramdam ako ng kay bigat na titig sa aking buong katawan. Nag-aapoy at sumisiklab ang titig na ito kung kaya ang aking puso ay kumakaripas ng bugso.
I continued danced with the music seducing me but the fury emanating from somewhere only heightened. It was digging a pit filled with wild fire and I was drowning in tat powerful feeling. I shamefully basked in it.
Napakagat ako ng labi at ibinukas ang aking mga mata. Halos lahat ay tinitingnan ako kahit na okupado sila ng pananayaw. My head swayed and a graceful knot of curiosity formed on my forehead.
I looked up and saw a pair of eyes looking down at me.
Tiningala ko pa lalo ang tahimik at madilim na second floor kung saan naroon ang iba pang VIP. Nasulyapan ko ang mga kamay na nakahawak sa itim na balustrade, namumuting mga kamao. Thick veins protruding from its arms, eyes burning me with so much intensity.
I couldn't fully recognize this man as shadows surround him. Still, I couldn't help myself. I angled my head in amusement and did a little grind with my hands up. Then, I fled the dance floor.
"Where have you been?" bungad kaagad ni Ramona sa akin. Finally, dumating din ang babaeng ito.
"No, where have you been?" I emphasized dahil kanina pa siya nawawala.
"Dancing, of course."
"With?" ngiting-aso ko. Humalakhak ako nang inirapan niya ako.
Mayroong inuusog na tequila sa akin ang aking mga kasama ngunit umayaw ako. I've had enough fun already. Naabot ko na ang itinakda kong limitasyon.
"Oh, shut up, Chrissy!" bulyaw sa akin ng pulang-pulang si Ramona kaya naman humagalpak ako. Naupo ako sa kaniyang tabi kung saan ang namumula na ring si Beth ay nakaupo.
"How about you, Beth? Did you even move from this table?" Tumagilid ang aking labi sa kaniya. Ganyan naman kasi iyan palagi - palaging kj.
"Did you even breathe?" segunda ni Ramona. May nakikigisa na barkada ngunit napahiya ito nang tingnan ng masama ni Ramona.
"You need to loosen up sometimes. We're not getting any younger and this is the perfect time to lose control. And the most important thing is..." bumulong si Ramona kay Beth na mas lalong niyang ikinapula.
"Sex is not always the answer," kunot-noo niyang sabi.
"I knew it!" I fist pumped the air and laughed hard. Matagal nang kinukulit ni Ramona iyan, e.
"If you don't like the guys in the south, maybe its time to try the guys in the north. A Manila boy may finally catch your malanding side. Right, Chrissy?"
"Right!" I was laughing so hard at Ramona. Gisang-gisa na si Beth ngunit dumating kaagad si Arjuna. Surprisingly, he was not wasted like all the other times when we we're clubbing.
"You three. Curfew na," seryoso niyang sabi at malakas na napamura si Ramona.
"That is a word I will never ever be ready for you to say, dear brother. Especially to me!"
"I'm the only sensible person here so you should all listen to me. Curfew!" He repeated again and almost stomped his foot on the floor.
"Mamaya na..." malambing kong sabi rito ngunit umiling lamang ito.
Kung hindi pa tumayo si Beth bilang pagpayag ay baka abutin na kami ng pagsikat ng araw dito sa club. Amoy na amoy ang alak sa loob ng sasakyan at nakisama pang maghatid si Sean. Hindi ko na ito masyadong mapansin dahil hindi ko na rin maidilat ang aking mga mata sa antok at hilo.
I could hear mumbling and strong of profanity from both girls when we entered the building. Alam kong inaalalayan ako ni Sean patungo sa elevator.
"Happy birthday, future neuro!" pang huli kong bati sa kaniya atsaka tumakbo ako patungo sa pasarang elevator.
Humahabol si Sean sa akin ngunit kumaway lamang ako rito. Mahina siyang napamura nang sumara nang tuluyan ang elevator. I mumbled my thanks to this other resident ngunit umalis din ito sa third floor.
My phone was ringing the whole time, probably Sean calling if I got in my unit safe. Tumigil din iyon and at the same time, mayroon pang sumakay na isa.
I stared ahead, fixing my bloody red lipstick infront of the mirror.
The air around us was turning cold and harsh fast. Tension was growing. I exhaled slowly, still fixing my lips. Kinagat ko iyon upang mas maging mapula.
Suddenly, the lift stopped by the emergency button. Umigting ang aking panga at bored itong tiningnan sa salamin. My eyes coated with smoky eyeshadow confidently matched the raging thunderstorm in his eyes.
"What do you want from me?" unti-unti kong sabi. Tumaas ang aking kilay.
"I will always want something from you..."
"And what makes you think I will give it?"
"I can always get it myself." He spoke with full authority and power, his eyes bloodshot and giving a warning.
"Hindi ka pa pala nagbabago, Ram. Ang taas pa rin ng tingin mo sa sarili mo," kalmado ngunit prangka kong sabi. "Wala ka pa ring sinasanto dahil tingin mo ay nasa itaas ka pa rin."
Kumunot ang noo ni Ram sa aking sinabi. Sumingkit ang mga mata ko sa kaniya at kaswal ding bumalik sa dati.
"Whatever business you're dealing with my cousin, deal it with somebody else. My father detests parasites in the industry and he will be happy to crush you to pieces."
"Arjuna simply came to me and I just took his offer. Killing two birds with one stone..." His eyes glided down from my eyes to my lips and neck, to the whole of me and back up. "And I will also be too glad to see him try..."
In the reflection, I was still looking at myself when he's looking at me. He closed off our distance with just one stride. Napako ako sa gilid at ang kaniyang isang kamay ay nasa gilid ng aking mukha. His body heat was emanating towards me, burning me.
"Your father made a big mistake to let you go, Chrissy. You should have stayed at home where I can't reach you..." His eyes was turning shades darker, his pupils dilating.
Inangat ko ang sarili mula sa pagkakasandal at doon ay napaatras siya. Humakbang ako ng ilang ulit habang siya'y hindi kayang pantayan ang aking mga tingin. I pressed the button and the elevator started accelerating upwards again.
"Tell me, is this because your wife couldn't satisfy you enough? Are you this thirsty because she can't fill it anymore?" bira ko pabalik.
He looked taken aback and his jaw clenched. I rolled my eyes heavenwards.
"Is your bed not warm enough, Ram? Are your nights with the love of your life not that fruitful anymore?" seryoso kong tanong.
"Stop it, Chrissy..."
I burned him from the fires of hell he put me under. Puros mura ang aking naririnig at tinapatan ko ang kaniyang titig.
"Let me tell you that she's not the problem. Its you... Everybody turns cold on you because you are the problem..." malalim ang pinanggagalingan ng aking boses. "You are the one who couldn't satisfy anyone else. Even me."
Inayos ko ang aking buhok sa harapan ng salamin. Hirap na hirap itong kainin ang aking sinasabi habang nananatili ako sa aking kinatatayuan. Bukas ang elevator patungo sa aking floor at bago lumabas ay hinarap ko ito.
"Stay out of my life, sweetheart..."