I was captivated by the babies.
I was thrilled when Sean tugged me into the nursery and the on duty nurse looked over my badge and gave me a gown and a pair of gloves and escorted me into the feeding room so that I could help with bottle feeding one of the babies. I sat in the rocking chair, extremely nervous at holding the baby and looked up. "You're sure this is... okay...?" I asked softly as the nurse and Sean arranged me in the chair so that I could be ready for the baby.
"Of course Pookie." He said
I looked at him dubiously. "How can you be sure? I've never actually done this before."
He knelt in front of me and reached up, touching my cheek. "It's okay Sang." He said. "It's natural to be nervous. Think of it as a test..." He smiled. "Someday when we're here and getting to hold little girl and boy baby Greens, then you won't be as nervous because you'll have done it before."
I smiled at the look of contentment that hit his face. "You're really committed to this and looking forward to that day, aren't you... when we'll have a baby of our own?"
"I love the idea." He admitted, getting back to his feet and moving out of the way when the nurse came in and gently laid a little pink bundle in my arms. His face lit up with a smile when he saw her in my arms.
"Okay, support the head here." The nurse said, waiting as I shifted my hold. "And here's the bottle. She'll probably drink about half and then you'll need to burp her." She said, showing me how to shift the baby to do that. "Let me know if you need something."
"Okay. Thank you." I called after her before looking down at the little girl in my arms. "Oh, hello precious..." I murmured as her little brow furrowed and she looked at me with a blue eyed gaze for a moment before her eyes focused on the bottle I was lowering closer to her and her mouth popped open and closed a few times like a baby bird looking for the worm its mama brought it. I chuckled softly as I held the bottle to her lips and she opened her mouth and eagerly began sucking on it and drinking the bottle.
"Beautiful." Sean murmured before winking at me and pulling out his phone. He took a few quick pictures of me before tucking it away in his pocket. "I'll be back for you, okay? Don't leave the nursery until I'm back for you."
"Okay." I nodded, glancing at him before I looked back at the baby in my arms, she'd raised her arms and had one tiny hand resting on my finger as I held the bottle for her. I barely registered Sean leaving the room as I fed her. About halfway through, I shifted her and burped her before settling her in my arms again to finish drinking her bottle.
She blinked at me while she drank it, the little eyelids getting lower and lower over her eyes until she actually fell asleep just as she finished the bottle. I shifted her again, holding her in my arms as I rubbed her back to encourage burping again as I rocked her gently. She did burp a tiny little cute burp and nuzzled her nose into my chest before sighing and relaxing in my arms as she fell asleep. The nurse hadn't come back in and I was both comfortable and a bit amazed at the baby I held.
I hadn't been around babies much, I was basically the baby in my own family and outside of Jessica, and none of the others had younger siblings. But it felt like she trusted me. I wondered if this was how the guys felt once I'd finally started to trust them and would relax into them as I fell asleep. I couldn't resist kissing the top of her head as we rocked.
A noise at the door drew my attention and I smiled at Sean in the doorway. "All right?" he asked.
"Definitely." I said, still rocking steady in the chair. "She fell asleep." I said.
"Which is good. She sleeps a lot." He said.
"What's her name?" I asked quietly, glancing down at the top of her head. I looked at him when he didn't answer.
"She doesn't have one." He finally said. My heart clenched in my chest and I stared at him. "She's not like me." He was quick to reassure me. "Well, not in the aspect that she wasn't abandoned. Her ..." He ran a hand down his face. "Her mother is in a coma after an accident, and her dad is in the military and they're working on trying to get him home as soon as possible. So no one was able to name her yet."
"Oh that's so sad." I said. "I hope her mother gets better." My eyelashes fluttered for a moment and I closed my eyes before opening them and looking at Sean. "No little girl should be without her mama who loves her."
Sean nodded silently, reading the pain in my eyes at the fact that I had done just that. Especially after the age of 9 when my monster of a step mother began to punish me more and more for the slightest of things. It may have been all the medications she began taking for her medical condition or it may have been because my looks changed after I turned 9 and I began to remind her of my birth mother in looks.
Sometimes, I just wished I had a picture of her. She was my age when she had me. And in spite of the little angel in my arms right now, I really didn't fancy the idea of becoming a mother at my age. It was an overwhelming thought. "Couldn't we name her a temporary name?" I asked.
"I don't think we've thought about that yet." Sean said. "What were you thinking?"
I studied her again before looking at him. "Angelica... Angel for short." My lips curved up in a smile. "Angelica Rose."
"Oh that's a perfectly lovely name." He said. "I will let the nurses know that you've deemed her in need of a name and it's the name they can use to talk about her treatment." He came over and beeped my nose with a finger before bending and kissing my forehead as he stole a glance at the baby in my arms. "She's beautiful." He said, kissing my temple before he straightened and went out into the office to let them know.