責め苛む excruciate | 章 ❷❹
my heart sore during fleeting days.
in the midst of every hour, i felt the aching sensation of yearning.
lonesome hours turned to days of fear.
my solitary existence have lost hope.
he was nowhere to be found, as of the moment.
i sighed glancing at my bedroom window to check on his window.
empty.
i pass by his house after i run to the convenient store.
still, the abode was silent. not even a single light lit the place.
as i weep through every minute passing, strong arms embrace me from behind, pulling me closer to him.
" you're going to be alright, scar. " the raspy voice, that was so familiar to me, said in a low whisper.
" first jimin, now him? " i managed to emit through throaty gulps.
he stroked my back while placing a light kiss on my forehead, enough to send shivers down my spine. by instinct, i pulled away a bit, shuddering at the sudden action.
he stared deeply into my eyes whilst moving to stroke my shivering shoulders with the pad of his thumb.
" i-i need some space." i stuttered while standing up but he gripped me in place.
" namjoon, please. " i said but he held me in his arms.
after countless nights of utter sadness, he was able to withdraw from his everyday life in order to comfort me.
i truly appreciate the effort he has done even after a long time of not getting in touch. He was able to paint at least a smile on my face even in the midst of the pain i am currently experiencing.
namjoon, my aunt's neighbor.
i consider him a close friend of mine even before when we were younger when i used to spend time with my aunt.
i'm just thankful that even now, he is able to show his support and care to me.
" scarlet. " namjoon muttered, wiping the tears that have fallen down my cheeks. " do you miss, jimin? "
more than ever.
" ye-es." i said.
he nodded and pulled me close to him just so he can plant another kiss on my temples.
" do you miss that taehyung boy? " namjoon asked, his tone seemed bitter.
do i miss him?
well, i just don't miss him.
i'm longing for him.
" i miss him so much. " i cried, remembering taehyung and his comfort.
there's just this spark between taehyung and i that i just can't get enough of. it's forbidden that i can stop myself.
i am such a wreck. why do i only have to realize now that all this while, i've been surreptitiously in love with him?
" scarlet, i'm here. " namjoon whispered, his hot breath hitting my ear. " there's nothing to worry about. "
i ignored his words as thoughts of taehyung flashed in my mind. i remembered his abrupt kisses, his words of comfort and his effort to show how much he cares.
" can you please stay with me? " namjoon said, making me snap back to reality. unable to register the statement he just said, i stared at him confusingly.
" then you can be sheltered away from the deceptions of the world. i can help you go through every pain. i can be there for you always. i'll be comforting you, showing my care for you, all that. " he explained, trying to win me.
but my heart was plastered to him.
taehyung.
he was enough to make my world happy.
" you can forget about that jimin guy, completely." namjoon said but i shot him a glare.
" and when you're with me now, " namjoon continued. " i swear that that taehyung guy won't ever disturb your life ever again. " his words left me in shock as he flashed a smug look.
without further hesitation, i stood up and looked down at him.
" i need you to leave, namjoon. " i ordered as i turned my back against him.
what has gotten into him?
" i'm saving you, scarlet. " he protested while tugging on my arm. " he's dangerous. "
" who's dangerous? "
" that taehyung guy. "
" what do you know about him? " i shifted my face and flashed an appalled expression. he avoided my eyes and swallowed.
" that's for you to know. " he said in a low voice while keeping his eyes on the ground.
i observed the sudden transition of expression coated all over his face. from a worried look, he seems tensed as his jaw surprisingly clenched slightly in anger.
before anything gets worse, i turned back and started to walk away—only to hear the words i've never expected to come out from his mouth.
" i—i like you, scar. " he said in a soft voice but loud enough to stop me from my tracks.
" since when? " i asked with my back still facing him.
" even before taehyung and jimin came into your life. " he said as he slid one arm around my waist and pulled me closer, putting me in an uncomfortable position.
" i fell in love with you... " he paused and looked straightly into my eye.
" and it makes me angry that you just easily dropped me for those people. did they even put up with you every second of the day? i know we may not see each other often now but you know how much effort i show you to be able to reach out for you. "
he's right about that. even if we might have lost physical touch with each other, he never fails to ask me how i'm doing or if i need any help.
" did you easily forget all our moments before? at the park, at home? after all those moments, you easily made me fall in love with you.
i fell in love with how you utter the words beautifully; every simply yet little movements you do. how you gently stroke the strands of your hair; how you gracefully carry yourself; how your smile melts my wall—i fell in love with you in so many little ways, scar. "
"n-namjoon..." i said as i tried to remove myself from his tight grip but rather he pulled me into a hug.
"i've waited long enough for you scar. i've been here from the start. technically, you're for me to keep and....since now that jimin is out of the picture, you can now be mine." he said as his he kissed the side of my cheek and walked away, leaving me confused.
a/n | we're sorry for the delay ):