I've been having a terrible day so I decided to write and get my mind off of it. Also I'm going to give you guys some of what's been going on with Marcel so you wont be so confused:) -K
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*TWO WEEKS LATER*
It's been two weeks since I told Leeroy everything. He practically ripped it out of me but I guess it was going to happen sometime. I haven't really had a full conversation with him yet because he probably hates me now. Who wouldn't? Some loser new kid who has the worst past.
Everyday I've dealt with Louis and Zayn. Everyday they've pushed me into lockers or tripped me, call me every name you could think of. Is it sad to say I'm getting used to it? I think they make it their life mission to attack me every chance they get. I don't understand how someone can go around hurting people purposely like that. It’s a terrible thing to do. I kind of deserve it in a way, you know?
"Marcel!" Leeroy yelled as I walked out of my house on my way to school. I turned around to face him and he gave me a face splitting grin.
"Yeah?"
"Can I walk with you to school?"
"I-I guess. But, why?" I asked, sincerely.
"Why not?" He looked confused.
"Shouldn't you hate me now? Tell me how bad of a person I am?" He sighed and looked right into my eyes.
"Marce, you’re not a bad person, at all. It wasn't your fault. Why don't you see that?"
"Because it was my fault! Every last bit of it! The same week, Leeroy, the same week!"
"N-"
"Can we just go?" He gave me a slight nod, and we walked in silence to our awful school. I've been here four weeks and I hate every last bit of it. Well, besides the music room. That's the best place in this town.
"Hey." I froze hearing that voice. Please not now. Please not now. I turned around to face those blue eyes that were full of hatred.
"H-Hi Louis." I stated.
"You two are pretty fucking cozy, yeah?"
"We’re best friends. Shut up and just go away for once." Leeroy butted in.
"Feisty. I actually came here to talk to Marcel." The pure shock of confusion showed, not only on my face, but on Leeroy's too. He went to grab my forearm but I flinched away. I can’t get beat up before school, I won’t be able to hide it. A look of regret passed his eyes? Im- fucking- possible. "I'm not going to hurt you. Please?" He's high. He's on bad drugs. This is not Louis… but I went.
"What?" I asked, when we finally got to the football field. He just stood there looking at me for a while. It was quite uncomfortable and I started fidgeting.
"Why do you dress like this?" He asked, finally.
"What do you mean?"
"When we came to your home for dinner you were a totally different person. The way you dressed, your hair, your attitude."
"So?"
"Why do you act different here?" He asked curiously.
"No. The question is, why do I act different there?" I replied. His face grew into more confusion, and honestly, it was quite hilarious.
"Why?"
"That is none of your business, Louis. Since when is it? You treat me like dirt and then ask me personal questions? How the fuck does anything I do concern you at all?" He didn't answer and I laughed coldly. "Exactly." I walked away and he didn't stop me. He didn't even bother me the rest of the day until the last bell rang.
"Marcel, wait!" I'm already annoyed and he is not helping.
"What?"
"I'm sorry, okay?" I'm really hearing things. I sat there laughing, really laughing.
"What kind of joke are you playing at?"
"I'm not. I just am truly sorry. I was taking all of my anger I had out on you." He said. “I shouldn't have done that." The only thing I can think of at this moment is Leeroy told him.
"He told you didn't he?" I asked quietly.
"Who told me what?" He looked completely confused. I hope this isn't an act.
"Whatever, Louis."
When I got home, Leeroy was on the porch waiting for me. Anne called and told me she was staying another two weeks and we have break starting Monday. I still don't quite get the reason but I'm not complaining. "Did you tell Louis?"
"No." He said. "Why?"
"He apologized to me twice today." The look on his face was completely shocked.
"Louis doesn't apologize. Not even when he hit a biker with his car."
"Then I-"
"He's playing a game here, Marcel." Was all he said.
"I know, and I told him that, but he kept pushing it so I left." Leeroy sighed, running his fingers over his perfectly straight, blonde hair. I went to tell him something else but the doorbell rang. I opened it to reveal Louis once again. Can he just give it up?
"What do you want?" I asked, annoyed.
"Please jus-"
"Louis, leave him alone! He doesn't deserve any of this! Not one thing you have fucking put him through! He has been through too much for your stupid games! WAY TOO MUCH!" Leeroy came over yelling. I looked up at him with wide eyes, Not only from shock but also from the fact he just hinted that I was fucked up. I did the only thing in the spare of the moment. I ran down the street and to the light house I passed every day for school.
I walked over to the huge window and stared out at the water. Water scared the hell out of me now, but I still find It unbelievably fascinating. Some days I wish it would swallow me up as well. I know Leeroy didn't mean to snap, it was just an in the moment thing.
'I'm at the lighthouse. -M' It didn't take him long to reply that he was on his way.
"Hey." I jumped at the sound of his voice. I didn't even hear him come in - Followed.
"W-What's he doing here?" I asked.
"I actually found out that he's not lying, Marce. He truly is sorry for everything he has done to you and he even told Zayn to leave you alone, also." This really pissed me off.
"It’s been five weeks, Louis! How come you're sorry now?!"
"I just am. Please? I will prove it to you! Give me one day. One day and I will show you I'm truly sorry." He pleaded out. In this one moment I believed everything he was telling me and I couldn't deny his offer.
"Fine." The smile I never got to see before, lit up the punk's face and I couldn't help but return the gesture. I never noticed how his eyes would crinkle and the parenthesis on the sides of his mouth would deepen a ton with a real smile on his face. It was beautiful.
"Thank you so much. Can we go now or is it too soon?" I looked over at Leeroy, only for him to nod enthusiastically.
"Uh, Yeah. I'll have to go back and put on some different clothes." I stated and led the two boys out of the Lighthouse.
I slid on a pair of brown trousers and a white long-sleeved button up. I left the shirt un-tucked and put on a brown tie the same color as my trousers. I didn't feel like throwing on a vest so I just put on my shoes and gelled my hair back. When I got back down stairs Leeroy and Louis were in a deep discussion and I cleared my throat to let them know I was ready.
"I'll see you two lads later. I've got plans." Leeroy got up and spoke.
"Tell Niall I said hi!" Louis yelled after him. At least I'm not the only one who thinks something's going on between them. I stood there stupidly because I didn't know what to do or say. What are you supposed to do when you’re going out with your bully? "Want to go?"
"Sure." I said and followed him out to his car. "Where are we going?" I asked after we drove out of the driveway.
"Not far." He replied, with a smirk held on his face. I was too busy thinking of where we were going to notice the car had stopped. Louis nudged my shoulder and I looked over at him. "We're here." I looked up to see we weren't far from the lighthouse. We were currently parked in front of a small ice cream shop. I smiled over at him and got out of the car.
"Chocolate and...” He trailed off looking up at me.
"Two chocolates, please?" When she handed us our cones, I followed Louis around the shop until he sat down at small bench not far from the beach. It stayed comfortably quiet until we had both finished our cones.
"Tell me about you." Louis spoke up. I got nervous at those words.
"What do you want to know?"
Why'd you move here?" I shot my head up to meet his blue eyes.
"I ugh. We ugh...” I couldn't find the right words to say. How do I know he's going to react the same as Leeroy? What if he hates me all over again?
"You can tell me, Marcel. I know I haven't been the best towards you but I will now." He sounded sincere.
"I feel like I should trust you for some reason but you don't understand how hard that is for me. The only person right now that I can trust is Leeroy. I just can’t have anyone hate me, I get it enough."
"I wont. I give you my word." Damn those eyes.
"We ugh... We moved here because my older sister and twin b-brother died."
"Oh my god. Why would I hate you for that?" He asked with pure confusion lacing his voice.
"It was my fault, all of it."
"No. It couldn't have been."
"They got into a car accident on a bridge. They were coming to pick me up from... a place. You asked me today why I dressed differently at school then at home. Well at home it’s still all the same. My mum makes it the same. But at school and everywhere else I don't want to be me. I want to be someone else, Louis. Someone who no one will want to get to know. Someone who no one will take a second glance at because they see the outside. It’s easier to not know anyone so you won’t hurt them." I said.
"It’s not your fault. Why can’t you see that? Changing the outside doesn't change who you are on the inside. I learned that the hard way. It doesn't matter if you dress like this." He pointed at my clothes. "Or like that, you’re still you."
"I know. But look at it this way, you took one glance at me and decided to beat up the nerd, right? Everyone else takes one glance at me and keeps walking. It’s as easy as that."
"You know I really am sorry, don't you? I took out all my anger on you because you were new and you didn't know me. Nothing I said to you was ever true and I'm sorry I put those thoughts into your head. You didn't deserve any of it and I feel so fucking bad."
"It’s okay. I forgive you." I replied with a reassuring smile on my face.
"I will keep making it up to you for as long as I have to..." He trailed off. "Friends?" He asked.
"Yeah, we can be friends." He stood up and held his hand out.
"Want to go for a swim?" He asked right when I was about to put my hand in his. I yanked it away and shook my head rapidly.
"No, no, no, no. I can’t go in the water."
"Why?"
"I just... cant. Maybe I'll tell you another time."
"Okay, that’s fine. Do you want to go for a walk then?" I nodded and stood up to walk along the beach.
It was this moment that it hit me like a wrecking ball, I started to like Louis. But not just as friends, more. This is the worst thing that could possibly happen.
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Sorry that it wasn't good. Again I've been In a terrible mood and I know its no excuse. -K