"It's grown again."
Heidi's voice was matter of fact as she gazed at Joan's exposed arm, upon which black lines twisted in an intricate pattern. Holding the other girl's hand and squeezing it, Heidi sent another wave of yellow ribbon twisting around Joan's arm and disappearing beneath her pale skin. It took all of Joan's efforts not to wrench her hand free and bring an end to the searing pain she felt.
"I can see that." Joan said tightly, brow frowned, glancing down at her mark. The pentagram shone clearly in the light, the black veins growing from it in all directions, disappearing underneath her dress sleeve and reappearing where the cloth pulled away from her shoulder, sprawled like a spider web.
"Can you control it?"
"I'm trying." Heidi murmured, her blonde hair falling over her face and the faintest trickle of sweat sliding down the side. "But your recent use of the mark's power has strengthened it greatly. Just trying to hold it back is proving to be very taxing. It would not have been this much trouble if I was at the height of my potential."
Silence followed these words as Joan thought back to her actions when fighting Javier. She had lost control and had it not been for Avander's timely intervention, Joan was sure she would have gone on a rampage.
"Why did you do it?" Heidi's voice broke through Joan's thoughts. "I've told you before how dangerous the mark's power is, then why did you use it?"
Heidi's tone was not accusing, the opposite in fact. She seemed curious and more than a little concerned, looking up at Joan with her brow knitted together. Joan averted her eyed, unwilling to meet Heidi's piercing gaze.
"I could not control myself." Joan said quietly. "He was taunting me, recounting without a shred of remorse how he brutally killed my parents. How could I stand for that? I could not hold back my anger."
"Joan, you know you have to control it" Heidi said. "The very reason he told you all of that was to provoke you to fight, to allow the mark to be activated once more and for your actions to be influenced again by your hatred. You need to keep a clear mind in such situations, to not let these things get to you."
"You don't understand." Joan's voice was low, quaking with silent fury. "You will never understand."
Without warning, Joan wrenched her arm away, breaking the connection and getting to her feet.
"Joan, what are–?" Heidi exclaimed, reaching out to grasp her hand.
"No!" Joan growled, taking a step back from the girl. "You find it so easy to tell me what to do. Don't get angry Joan. Don't use your powers Joan. Don't feel guilty even if all of this is your fault!"
Heidi could only stare as Joan thundered, raging clouding her eyes.
"This is all my fault Heidi, stop trying to tell me otherwise. If it were not for this godforsaken destiny of mine my family would still be alive. They wouldn't have suffered because I was supposed to be the last, damned Halden alive!"
Joan's eyes darkened, the air around her growing still. The she laughed, faintly at first then louder. She looked up and there was a sinister grin on her face.
"There is nothing you can do about the mark." She whispered. "It will keep growing, feeding on the negative emotions inside of me. Not long now until the Devil will have complete control."
"Joan stop!" Heidi cried in distress. "Give me your hand; I can still keep it at bay if you would just let me."
"What is going on?" Avander's voice called as he materialized in the study. "I sensed a dark force. Don't tell me–" He trailed off, eyes widening as he saw Joan standing there with the same grin he had seen the night she destroyed the Amaki .
"Not again." He breathed, shielding Heidi at once. "Get back Heidi, we don't know what she's capable of."
"Look at you, acting like a hero." Joan chuckled, stepping forward. There was a change in her swagger, not at all the same confident and dignified strides she would normally take. There was something slow and seductive about the way she moved, hips swaying slightly in a way Avander had never seen before.
"But you know well enough that deep down; you are still the demon you always were." She said, coming to a stop in front of him, closer than she ever dared to stand before. The smirk on her face was knowing, suggestive. Avander could only watch as she pressed a finger against his chest, tracing the bulge of his muscles.
"Deep down, you are still the same, lustful creature who is only looking out for his own interests."
"Joan, you need to stop." Avander said firmly. But she was pressed against him how, fingers stroking his jaw line so sensually that he felt a shiver of delight run down his spine.
"You can drop the good demon act now." She crooned, pulling him closer until their faces were inches apart. "You and I both know you want me. Don't think I haven't noticed those hungry gazes of yours running all over me. You are getting what you want now, so why complain?"
Something inside Avander roared in approval, clawing at the walls and demanding what it wanted. His hands itched to touch Joan's skin, to feel every inch of her. Yet something held back those carnal instincts, a voice that told him it was wrong to take advantage of Joan's current state. The voice droned out the hungry roars of the beast within, causing him to pull away abruptly.
"Joan, you are not acting like yourself." He said, returning the surprised expression with a stern gaze. "Get a grip of yourself before you do something you'll regret. This is not you."
She merely laughed, throwing her head back and cackling coldly. "Try all you want, nothing can stop Satan." She warned. "It won't be long before I'm under his control and you shall all be dead."
"Joan, stop this!" Heidi stepped forward suddenly, wrapping her arms around Joan, eyes brimming with tears. "Please. I hate seeing you like this."
"Let go you little runt." Joan shrieked, raising a hand glowing with energy, ready to strike. But before she could, Avander's hand wrapped around her wrist, stopping her attack..
"That's enough." He said and there was anger flashing in his eyes. "Stop and just look at what you are doing."
The change was instantaneous. The dark glint in Joan's eyes faded, the reddish pink color returning as she blinked in confusion and horror. "What–I-I didn't–" She was lost for words, gaze switching from Avander to Heidi and then to Avander's hand still gripping her arm. "
"Are you okay?" He asked gently but Joan tore her hand away, freeing herself and darting out of the room before anyone could react, the end of her dress swishing around the corner as the door slammed shut.
Neither Avander nor Heidi attempted to go after her, afraid to break the stillness she had left behind. They glanced at one another, both relieved and worried at the same time. At last, Avander spoke.
"Do you think you should check on her?" He asked. Heidi shook her head.
"She needs time to herself. I am to blame for this occurrence; I should not bother her any further." She said. "Her mind is troubled and she is still shaken by what happened two days ago. It's best we leave her alone for now."
Avander nodded, staring at the door. He felt Heidi's gaze on him and turned to her. She offered him a small smile.
"I'm proud of you." She said. "I'm glad you did not take advantage of the situation."
Avander was aware of what she meant and turned away, face impassive. "Don't mention it. I'm just doing my job."
***
What's happening to me?
She felt dirty, contaminated, disgusted with her own skin. Every inch of her was shaking both from anger and horror as Joan leaned her head against her bedroom window, her face thrown into shadow.
What's wrong with me?
This is your true self finally surfacing, the monster you've been hiding all along ,came a voice's reply in her head. It was cold, relishing her moment of weakness. Joan knew the voice. It had been whispering in her ears a few minutes ago, influencing her actions. It had done so ever since she had sold her soul to the Devil. It had laughed in her head every time she made a kill, spurring on her blood lust. It had been faint in the start, something she had dismissed as a figment of her imagination. Overtime it had grown louder, loud enough to cloud her thoughts and make her do things she never wanted to.
This is not who I am. She told the voice, a desperation lingering in the thought that made her wonder if she herself believed it.
Yes it is, accept it. Let your darkest desires control you, let them define who you are, let the monster you are free.
Joan clapped a hand over her mouth to keep her from crying out as intense pain jolted through her body, the mark on her forearm burning as though it had just been stamped into her skin with a red hot poker. The pain forced her onto her knees and she remained, hunched over trying her best to drive away the jeering voice in her head, all the while asking herself the same question;
How long did she have until the monster within finally took over?
-----------------------------
That turned out well. I managed to write this without screaming "CENSOR! CENSOR! This is not PG-13!" even though it probably is,stretching the boundaries a bit.