*Later that night*
"Hikaru, I'm cold. Do you think we could get another blanket?" I whine to my brother as I turn towards him.
"But I'm not cold though. Getting another blanket will only make me hot." Hikaru argues looking into my eyes. Even though we are twins and we're identical, Hikaru always seemed to have the better looking eyes. They seem to shimmer in the light and they are just so calm.
Wait... What am I saying? That's my brother I'm talking about?
"What's wrong Kaoru?" Hikaru asks grabbing a hold of my hand.
"N-Nothing. I'm tired. Night." I stutter, pulling my hand away as I roll over facing away from him.
"Okay...Goodnight then." Hikaru mumbles turning the lamp off. I could hear he sounded hurt by the way I acted. I kind of regret just turning around and ignoring him, but that random rush of admiration for his eyes made me feel weird and unusual. It just didn't feel right. But at the same time, it did...
The next day I awoke to Hikaru's face right in front of mine. His soft snores making me chuckle with amusement. I checked the clock and realised I still had another half an hour before I had to get up and get ready for school. I wasn't tired though... I was thinking about getting up and getting ready, but it was so cold. I would rather stay in bed, nice and warm next to Hikaru.
He was warm.
He was cuddly.
He was him.
"Kaoru? What are you staring at? Do I have something on my face?" Hikaru's sexy morning voice calls through my head.
What the hell? Did I just say sexy?
"U-uh... Yeah! Here, let me get that for you." I awkwardly laugh as I rub off an imaginary stain off his face.
"Thanks Kaoru." He croaks grinning at me.
"I think it's time to get up." I pipe up. Hikaru simply nods in agreement before getting up and climbing over me to get his wardrobe. Without hesitation, my hands shoot up and land on either side of Hikaru's waist.
"Uh, Kaoru?" Hikaru coughs.
"Um...Uh...S-sorry... I thought you were going to fall..." I stutter nervous as I bring my arms back to my chest.
"Don't be silly Kaoru." He laughs continuing his journey. What is wrong with me? First I think about how beautiful he looks, than I grab a hold of him. This isn't normal.
"Come on lazy ass. Get changed and come downstairs." Hikaru smiles with a wink. I knew that wink meant nothing. It was only out of brotherly love.
"Hey guys, you finally made it. We ended up doing no themes today, so don't worry about changing." Kyoya explains as we walk through the door. With this morning's incident I tried my best to keep my mind on other things.
"Hey guys. How are you?" Haruhi questions walking up to us.
"We're good." We both answer at the same time. I look over to Hikaru, noticing the way he looks at Haruhi with such adoring eyes. I know he's wanted to be more than just friends with her but, selfish as it sounds, I don't want that to happen.
"That's good! I hope you two have a fun day with the girls. I'll talk to you guys later." Haruhi smiles before skipping off. The ladies begin to wander into the old music room as Hikaru and I take our usual spots. Our guests for the day sit opposite us, smiles printed on their faces. I couldn't help but have my mind replay this mornings incident. Was I only doing it out of brotherly love or was it something more?
"Kaoru seems to be more quiet then usual..." I hear someone whisper, pulling me out of my train of thought.
"I know right... It's kind of annoying how he isn't acting along with his brother..." Another says.
"Maybe they're fighting?"
"He's probably sulking or something... But I don't want to be rude in that way!"
"Maybe Hikaru said something to him... Who knows?" All these whispers making me uneasy. I remain seated next to Hikaru as he chatted to the ladies. I stayed silent, staring at the ground; taking in all the voices around me.
Some words the girls spoke hurt, but others genuinely seemed worried about me. All I wanted to say was that Hikaru and I aren't fighting, though my eyes remain glued to the ground. I find my hand slowly making it way to Hikaru's, needing that extra comfit. He softly squeezes my hand assuring me that everything was alright. He obviously could tell something was on my mind. He's my twin! He can even tell when I haven't done my damn homework.
"Aw! You two are holding hands!" A girl randomly squeals pointing to our hands. I shuffle even closer to Hikaru keeping my head down. I knew Hikaru was looking at me worried. I also knew he wanted to ask me what the matter was, but he didn't want to bother me. He knows me too well. I don't care who is around, if I want to hold my brothers hand, I'll hold it. They can't tell me what or what not to do. He's my brother and I love him.
"Kaoru, how are you feeling?" A brunette girl quizzes walking up to me. I slowly lift my head up and blaster a fake smile on my face.
"I'm fine! How are you my princess?" I question back letting go of Hikaru's hand and standing to greet the girl.
"You seemed upset... But I'm glad you're fine. I'm feeling alright too." She smiles clapping her hand together.
"So what makes you want to come here today? Did you miss me?" I laugh placing my hand on her face.
"Oh, I only come here because my friends tell me too" She mumbles truthfully as we take a seat at an empty couch over near the window.
"Oh really?" I ask confused at the fact she doesn't come here because of the same reason everyone else does.
"Yeah... Actually, to make it clear for you, I'm not interested in any of you." She slightly chuckles.
"What do you mean by that?" I quiz.
"Kaoru! As if you haven't gotten it!" She laughs wiping away a fake tear away. I just look at her confused and lost.
"Oh Kaoru. I'm gay! I have no interest in men in general. That's why I don't come here for the same reason everyone else does. Sure enough you are all nice boys, I'm just not interested." She explains.
"So you only come because your friends ask you to? How long have you been coming?" That was my next question I was interested to get answered.
"Long enough to know all your names and so on." She replies crossing her legs.
"I knew you looked familiar... But the real question I want to ask you...Miss?" I fade out, realising that I didn't even know her name.
"Oh sorry, I never told you my name, I'm Naoko Kyoki." She grins wide.
"What I wanted to ask you Naoko is, how can you be so free and proud about saying you're gay? Doesn't it ever come to mind that people might hate you for being well, gay?" I mumble making sure no one would hear.
"Honestly, at first it was hard accepting the fact I don't like the other gender. It was even hard for me to tell my parents. But after a while, I seemed to feel more comfortable with that fact. I don't care if people hate me for being different. Being different is good. And after I accepted who I was, I met someone who has changed my life forever. I am very happy with her. We get the occasional awful stare by people on the street who simply don't understand but, who cares? If I'm happy I don't really care what people think." Naoko finishes informing me. I simply nod taking in all she told me.
"Wow..." I whisper.
"Why do you ask Kaoru?" She questions me.
"To be straightforward, I'm in a battle with myself. It could just be a stage everyone goes through... I don't know..." I explain to her.
"So I'm guessing you're having difficulty with who you are. With who you're accepting?" She simplifies it.
"Basically...How could you tell if you were gay or not?" I ask.
"It kind of felt natural for me to fall for other girls. Sorry if I'm going to deep in explanation." Naoko announces.
"It's alright. The more I know, the better I can handle this situation." I admit.
"But yeah, that's how I knew. You'll know when you're ready. Don't rush it." She instructs patting my leg.
"Thanks a lot Naoko." I smile warmly towards her.
"We'll keep in touch yeah? If you ever need my help, even if you just want to hang out, call or text me." She says as she writes her number down on a piece of paper before handing it over to me.
"Will do." I mumble eyeing the note.
"I have to go. Call me if you need anything." Naoko insists getting up and leaving.
"Kaoru! Did you just get some girls number? Go little bro!" Hikaru laughs walking up to me.
"Huh? Well she is a female isn't she?" I reply not mentioning the fact she is a lesbian.
"Well done! Text her!" He orders grabbing my phone out of my jacket pocket. His touch zapping up and down my body.
"Okay jeez..." I cough typing her number into my phone.
To Naoko: Hey Naoko, It's Kaoru (:
"That's it? Why no 'x' or 'o' at the end?" Hikaru whines.
"We're just friends?" I respond casually.
"Oh... We'll maybe not for long." He winks helping me up.
"I am positive we won't be together." I chuckle to myself.
"Okay then..." Hikaru mumbles skipping towards Haruhi. I watch as they molded into a deep conversation. I could tell by the way he laughed with her, by the way he joked with her, by the he looked at her, he likes her...It was quite obvious to be quite honest. I know I have no chance with him. When you think about it, it's actually quite funny. Me thinking I love my brother. Hahaha! Haha...ha...
I couldn't help but sigh deeply.
I don't care if people hate me for being different. Being different is good.
I am very happy with her.
Maybe I should keep what Naoko said in mind. After all, it doesn't matter what others think.
"Kaoru! It's time for class! Just think one more lesson and we can go home!" I hear Hikaru cheer. His arm suddenly linking with mine makes me jump.
"Let's go!"He grins at me.