"Let's cook pizza at your home today," Mark tells me after school. He is real serious about getting me back on track, I can sense it.
I nod at him.
"God, you are horrible, Aid. Say 'Oh that's awesome I am all up for it bro," he tells me, thumping me encouragingly.
"I am all up for it bro."
"Still average but I will take it. So let's go to the supermarket and get loads of cheese, uh?"
"I don't like cheese, that was Max," I tell him, my voice emotionless.
His face is immediately filled with guilt. It's a face I have been seeing on people a lot lately. It always surprises me, how people could mess up with both of us so often. We were two, extremely different people and they don't get it.
"I am so sorry, Aid," he pauses for a moment, apologetic and quickly adds, "Then let's go get some chicken. Ah, chicken pizza would be great."
"Whatever you want."
And we go to the supermarket in my bike, he is screaming in my head and singing a thousand different songs, all of them mine or Max's favorites. I can say he is not sure which all do I like. If this happened a couple of months before, I would be singing with him at the top of my voice, pedaling as fast as I can. But life is different. I am going so slow that Mark tells me he will reach faster if he walks.
We reach the supermarket and I am rushed inside with Mark pulling at both my hands. "Will you get the chicken? I have something to buy," I tell him.
Thankfully, he doesn't question what. He just nods and speeds of.
I don't have anything to buy.
I am just tired of trying to be cheerful.
I am too tired to run around a supermarket.
I know too well that I would see Max's favorite things and tear up.
And just as I stand wondering what I should do, someone taps on my shoulder.