You quickly walked down the hallway and past the kitchen, tears streaming heavily down your cheeks. You stepped out of the hallway, and into the grand front room. You made your way up the stairs and down the hall to the room where you had stayed last night. You carefully closed the door behind you, deciding not to slam it and make a scene.
You leaned your back against the door and looked at the room around you, trying to get a grip on reality. Your shoulders were shaking and your breathing was heavy. You rubbed your eyes underneath your glasses to get some of the tears out of them.
Why am I so weak? I feel like I can't do anything without crying and losing myself.
You let yourself slide down the door and fall into a sitting position. You held your head in your hands, and let your glasses fall off and come to rest on the floor. The warm tears coated your cheeks.
I can't stand it when others get angry. Why am I always so afraid?
You sighed and saw the glass of water Jungkook had left for you last night. It was still sitting on the nightstand, and you still hadn't taken a single sip from it. You hadn't even touched it. There was a layer of dust starting to form on the outside ring of the glass. You could see the faint outline of Jungkook's fingers imprinted in the dust.
Jungkook...
You pushed yourself off of the door and calmly crawled over to the nightstand. Your mind was racing with a million thoughts--mainly about Jungkook and what happened downstairs in the infirmary. You sat yourself down right in front of the nightstand. You stared at the glass of water with awe.
There's another way to cause a scene...
You moved your hand up and sat it on top of the nightstand next to the glass. A warm tear fell, glazing your cheek just like the others did. You gently placed your fingertips on the glass. You slowly peeled your pointer finger away from the glass to see that a part of the dust layer had gone with it.
You slowly pushed the glass to the edge of the nightstand and let it rest there. You thought about Jungkook one last time before you sent the glass off the side of the nightstand. You watched it slowly fall to the floor, quickly moving to shield yourself with your right arm.
The water drenched the carpet beneath you. It left a darkened, wet stain on the floor where it had fallen. The glass wasn't so lucky: You hadn't realized how fragile it was before you pushed it onto the floor. It was now in several pieces that were scattered about the room, and just as you had hoped, there were a few more scratches on your right arm.
Hopefully Jin won't be as mad if I play it off like it was an accident. Besides, he doesn't need to know about the infirmary.
You slowly started gathering the pieces of glass that were scattered across the floor. You made sure to take your time, wondering if anyone would run up to your room after hearing a loud crashing noise. It would make things go a lot easier.
"(Y/N), is everything okay in there?" Somebody knocked twice on your door. "I heard something break."
"Yes, you can come in, everything's okay," you smiled to yourself. "I accidentally knocked a glass off of my nightstand and it shattered."
Your door opened, and Jin poked his head into your room. He closed the door behind him, and came to stand over you. You handed some of the glass shards to him so that you could pick up more from the carpet.
"Your arm!" Jin set the glass shards down on your nightstand and grabbed a hold of your right arm. He looked at the little scratches that littered your once-clear skin. He turned your arm over and over in his hands, inspecting all of the damage.
"I guess some of the glass came loose and scratched me," you said, trying to play it off like you were embarrassed. "I didn't realize it. I didn't even feel it."
"Why were you crying, then?" Jin asked, genuine concern flooding into his voice. "You didn't feel the glass scratch you, and your eyes are red. Did something happen while you were in the infirmary?"
Shit.
"You didn't get your bandages changed either," Jin said, peering over your shoulder at your other arm. "I thought you wanted Jungkook to change them for you. You brought him a cup of coffee, right?"
"Can we please just finish picking up the glass?" You asked, giving him a weak smile. "I don't want to miss any pieces and accidentally step on them later tonight."
"First, we're going to go re-wrap your arm in the kitchen, like I suggested earlier," Jin said, pulling you to your feet. "And you're going to tell me why Jungkook didn't wrap it when you went down to the infirmary."
You gulped and realized that a part of your plan had failed. Jin pulled you out of your room, and left the door open after a moment of thought. You thought about all the lies you could possibly tell to keep him from finding out about what happened in the infirmary. Eventually you gave up, because there was no way that you were going find a way to tie all of your lies into one giant story.
In almost no time at all, you were both in the kitchen again. Jin hoisted you up and set you down on top of the kitchen counter, then started digging through the drawers for a bandage roll.
"So, why didn't Jungkook patch you up?" Jin asked, looking over his shoulder at you.
"He was busy dealing with Taehyung and Yoongi," you said, deciding to only tell half of the truth. "They were causing quite a ruckus when I first went down there."
"That's not a bad answer, but that doesn't explain why you were crying," Jin said, finally holding some bandages. "Did something else happen while you were down there?"
"They were fighting pretty badly, so I decided to leave," you said, picking your words carefully. "I stayed just to make sure that Jungkook got the coffee that I brought him. He hardly noticed me at all."
"Did it really disturb you that badly when they fought?" Jin asked, cutting off your bandages from yesterday. "I don't think you should go down there on your own again, whether Jungkook is there or not."
"Yeah, it was pretty scary. They were throwing anything that they could grab," you said, recalling what happened. "I thought that they were going to hurt each other even more."
Jin nodded, and started re-wrapping your hand. You kept your eyes to the floor and kicked your feet, just waiting for him to finish.
"I tried to get them to stop fighting," you said. "They hit me in the back of the head with another roll of bandages. They were being so careless, and they were making a mess out of everything. I couldn't get them to calm down no matter what I did, so I left."
"Where was Jungkook when you tried to calm them down?" Jin asked, looking up at you. "He was in the room with you, right?"
Shit. That's two strikes now.
"He was in the room with you, right (Y/N)?" Jin repeated himself a little bit louder, realizing that he had finally asked the right question.
"Yes, he was in the room when I came in," you answered, mentally cursing yourself for having a big mouth.
"What about when you left? Was he there then?" Jin asked, putting the bandage roll down. "I'm done wrapping your hand, by the way."
You pulled your arm in close to you and set it down on your lap. You tried to think of an answer that you could give Jin, but you couldn't think of anything besides telling him the truth. Even though you didn't want him to know about what happened, you didn't want him to get angry at you for not telling him.
"Well?" Jin asked.
"I-I'm not sure where he was," you stuttered, finally finding the courage to speak. "He left before I did."
"He left you down there alone with those two?" Jin asked, a hint of shock creeping into his voice. "Why did he leave?"
"He s-said something before he left, but I don't remember exactly what it was," you said, trying to remember what happened. "But he seemed fairly upset when he left..."
"I can't believe he left you alone down there," Jin repeated himself, moving to the center of the kitchen. "But you said he seemed upset about something?" Jin whipped his head around and looked at you.
"That's what it seemed like," you said, scratching the back of your head. "I was afraid he was going to explode. He was so angry when he left."
"He can be very explosive sometimes," Jin said, nodding his head. "He didn't hurt you at all, did he?"
"No, nothing at all," you shook your head. "He was very gentle and didn't try to hurt me, even though I tried to stop him from leaving."
"And after that, you tried to talk to Yoongi and Taehyung, right?" Jin asked, leaning up against the counter opposite you.
"Yeah," you said, kicking your legs against the counter. "It wasn't easy. They were still throwing things at each other. They didn't even realize Jungkook left."
"It's hard to get their attention when they're fighting," Jin sighed, watching your legs swing back and forth rhythmically. "They're like two machines."
"Tell me about it," you laughed, trying to keep the mood light. "My head still hurts." You poked your temple where the medicine bottle had hit you, and smiled.
"Wait, why does your head hurt?"
Shit, that's three. Game over.
"Did they give you a headache?" Jin pushed himself off of the counter, and stood in front of you. "Or is there something you're not telling me?" He crossed his arms over his chest and raised one of his eyebrows.
There's no point in trying to lie anymore.
"When I was trying to get their attention, I was caught in the crossfire, too," you said defeatedly, lowering your gaze to the ground. "I tried my best to dodge everything, but I accidentally got hit in the back of the head with a bandage roll, and I got hit in the temple with a pill bottle."
"Is there anything else that I should know?" Jin asked, uncrossing his arms and putting them on his hips. "Although half-truths are better than lies, you could at least be a little better at telling them."
"No, there's nothing else," you said, shaking your head and keeping your eyes to the ground. "I told you everything, I promise."
"How about you make sure that your story is straight before you say that?" Jin asked, tilting his head. "Jungkook was down there when you first got there, but he left after Taehyung and Yoongi upset him, right?"
You nodded.
"You tried to calm the boys down, and you got hit with a couple of things on accident. A medicine bottle and a bandage roll like this one," Jin held up the roll he had set down next to you.
Again, you nodded.
"And there's nothing else that happened. After all that happened, you left, and I found you in your room cleaning up a broken glass."
You nodded a third time. Jin sighed, and set the bandage roll back down beside you. There was a wall of silence between you two, and you felt a sinking feeling in your stomach.
I'm not just going to let it end like this; I have to fix this. I need to Jin to trust me.
"You're not mad, are you?" You looked up at Jin, hoping that he wouldn't explode like Jungkook would.
"I'm not mad, just a little bit disappointed," he sighed, turning away from you. "You can trust me. Ever since you came here, you've been able to trust me. You know that, right?"
The last time I trusted one of you, people ended up getting hurt. I can't trust any of you.
"Yes, I know," you said, shaking your head. "I know that I can trust you."
I can't trust you. I'll get myself hurt. I'll get others hurt.
"It doesn't seem like you do," Jin said, looking at you over his shoulder. "It doesn't seem anything like trust if I have to play 20 questions to get a straight answer from you. You can try to hide as much as you want, but it's not going to work."
I can't just give myself up to you. You should know that.
"Next time something like this happens, you need to tell me the truth right away," Jin said. "You've got that, right?"
I can't do that.
"Yes, I understand."