A smile was on your lips even when the bright sun shone over our face. You scrunched up your nose in annoyance and let a small groan but of course the smile did not flutter. The feeling of bliss did not flutter. You slowly brought a hand over your face, rubbing your eyes groggily another groan leaving your lips. You slowly started opening them, and after blinking several times your blurry vision became more clear. And despite the light blinding you a little, you could now see crystal clear...
...The empty side of your bed.
You let out a small sigh as you snuggled even more with your blankets and the spare pillow, wishing it was Dean. But it was not and you knew it. Just like you knew it all was... a dream.
But for some odd reason it didn't bother you that much. It didn't bother you that after your sister's wedding Dean had not slammed you against the Impala and then later made love to you till the very early morning. It didn't bother you that all of those touches, all of those kisses, all of those whispered 'I love you's had not happened. Because the very first kiss had happened and it was all that mattered. Sure it was not entirely romantic, and you did not want to let your hopes get up but it still had happened.
You touched your lips, closing your eyes and trying to hold yourself from giggling like some schoolgirl. It had been just like you had imagined all this time and just like you had dreamt so many times. So yes, of course this dream was not a first one but it certainly was a first that you didn't feel that disappointed to wake up. Maybe it had to do with the fact that you had spent the weekend with Dean so close to you - onlyyou, no other woman there for him - that made everything different. It felt wonderful having him care so much about you, and only you.
But the best of all were those small moments of jealousy he went through. Yes jealousy and you could clearly see it, just like Hope did at some point. Other than his first meeting with Jeremy, when he saw him again at the wedding the possessive touches and snarky remarks at him could not be contained. You were really perplexed in the beginning but when Hope pointed it out to you you could certainly not believe it. But it was the truth.
After the dance - and kiss let's not forget - things were actually a little awkward between you. At least on your part. And Dean was certainly not helping with those looks and lingering touches. But of course other than that nothing had happened and after another slow dance and some more chatting with your relatives - you tried to ignore how your aunt Mildred kept looking at him, but at the same time you could not blame her - you both made your way back home so that you could get your luggages, change quickly, and then were back on the road so that he could get Mary from her grandparents and off to your places. At some point you knew you had fallen asleep, not long before you had reached home. As it seemed Dean was kind enough to carry you till your bed without waking you up in the meanwhile - you tried to ignore the weird beating of your heart as you thought of him carrying you bridal style in those strong arms.
'Acting like a schoolgirl! Snap out of it (Y/n)!'you scolded yourself in your mind.
With yet another shake of your head and a groan you swang the blankets off you and immediately sat up. You rubbed your head stretching afterwards. You swang your feet off the bed to the cold floor. You glanced at the clock on your nightstand and sighed again. It was 5:30 pm which meant you had slept many hours.
Brushing it off you got up from your bed and made your way to your bathroom for your usual morning - sort of - routine. All the while trying desperately to not think of the dream or how you felt. You only wished none of the sounds you made in the dream came out in reality while sleeping in the car because that would have been a hell of an awkward situation. But how could you have ever been able to help it? With those touches and kisses and the way he made you feel it would have certainly been impossible.
And it felt so real that at a point you really thought you felt his thumb rubbing over your cheek. In the hazy state of your dream you had even seen it, while you were driving the Impala and you were seating shotgun as in reality. Yes your hopes got up again but you tried to brush it off as just another fragment of your imagination. Yes, that was it you were sure.
Then... why did your heart beat in that weird again?
~*~
AC/DC could be heard from a few blocks down as you made your way to Dean's garage. You shook your head laughing.
"That man"
You hugged your jacket closer to yourself at the slight chill. Well, it wasn't such a nice idea to wear a dress after all but better than just leave it inside the closet right? After getting a quick shower and making sure you looked presentable enough you ate a little and seeing as you had nothing to do you decided to go visit him at his garage. After all the fact that he didn't answer the door and would never leave Mary alone meant that - just like most times when babysitter-you were not available - she was there with him as well.
"Dean?" you peeked through the door but could really not see him. The music was of course blasting through the speakers.
"Dean?" you asked again, although you were sure he would be here. You passed the many cars he had there for service and walked in further deeper.
His voice could be heard just faintly over the music and following that you ended up finding him... bent over a car.
Damn. He was really challenging you for sure.
You did not make a sound - not that you could even if you wanted to - as you stood frozen for a second in your place. Well, at least you could not deny to yourself that it was a view you enjoyed grately. It even brough back memories of that first morning of knowing Dean when he was fixing your car. And just like back then he was still shaking that pretty ass of his in a way that said 'I dare you'. Oh it was certainly daring you.
You bit your lip, maybe enjoying the mini-show more than you should. The way he was shaking his hips had you in a trance and you felt your face heat up dangerously at the thoughts that ran through your mind at that moment. But damn, how could somebody not wonder what more he could do with those hips of his?
No. You were certainly not thinking about a strip-tease. Absolutely not!
Yeah.
His rough voice singing over to the music all the more added to it and you could feel your heart thudding inside your chest. Yes, he was challenging you for sure.
You would have said something to get his attention - not that you really wanted, let's be honest here - but even as you could not make a sound, you actually didn't have to as-
"(Y/n)!" Mary's happy voice exclaimed as she ran from behind you and hugged you close to her. You immediately turned and picked her up.
"Hey bug" you kissed her cheek.
"Hey" Dean's rough voice made you turn to look at him as you set Mary back down.
"Hey" you smiled a little shyly at him.
Here we go again.
"How long have you been standing there?" a smirk was on his lips that reminded you a lot of the Dean you knew when you first moved in.
You rolled your eyes "Don't flatter yourself Winchester"
"Oh I'm not" he grinned widely, swaying his way towards you "You are actually. But hey I didn't say I don't mind it" he winked and you felt your eyes widen for a second.
"Besides-" he continued "-If you'd want a private show" he grinned cheekily, wiggling his eyebrows and you really felt your face burn hot.
"Dean!" you shrieked and he laughed out loudly.
"I hate you" you grumbled which just made him laugh more.
"But in my defence- I called you numerous times and you didn't reply at all" you crossed your arms over your chest and he raised his hands in surrender.
"Sorry. Sorry" he turned the volume of the music considerably down.
"So to what do I owe the pleasure?" he asked and you went to seat next to him.
You shrugged "Dunno. I thought I would swing by since I had nothing to do"
"Well by all means" he grinned "Did you sleep enough?"
"Yeah, yeah I did. Why did you let me sleep this much though?"
"You deserved it" he brushed it off as nothing.
"Yeah but you had to drive all night and now take care of Mary. You should have woken me up, Dean"
He shook his head "It's fine. Besides I had to get finished with this car. All that matters is if you had fun. You did right?"
You smiled warmly at him "I did, Dean. Thanks to you. I honestly never imagined I wouldn't have to put up with thosecriticizing looks from my family for once"
Dean let out a breathless chuckle "Well, I now know what you mean. Sheesh what's up with you people huh? And to think I believed you were the crazy one"
You rolled your eyes, hitting his shoulder playfully "Whatever. But yes, yes it is true. I am not the most crazy one in my family" you laughed.
He did the same "You tell me!"
And you laughed more "Oh I see. Aunt Mildred gave you some pretty good nightmares huh?"
He rolled his eyes "Shut up. No!"
"Oh are you so sure? Cause just so you know, I actually heard what she said" you smirked and his eyes widened for a second "Too bad you didn't let her hand ride up a little more" you burst into laughter and he let a small sigh of relief.
He put on a smile and shook his head "Oh please. I only didn't let her cause I had to keep facades up. Wouldn't want them saying your boyfriend is a cheater"
"Oh is that really why?" you laughed mockingly at him and he fake-glared at you.
"Ha-ha very funny. But how do you know (Y/n)? Might have actually let something happen, she sure as hell got the same genes as you, crazypants" he smirked and you became serious for a second, looking him dead serious in the eyes until you finally snickered and burst into laughter.
And he did the same. Mostly glad that you didn't hear a single thing she said later to him when you were too occupied talking with Hope.
"I can tell when someone's pinning for someone else. And by the looks of it- whoa boy you are in deep for good!" she had winked at him and Dean clearly remembers trying to keep his eyes from widening.
"W-what are you talking about?" he had laughed nervously.
"What I mean is that even if I am hella jealous of my niece, I definitely am just as happy to see she finally found a man worth it. I didn't know there are still men that can look at a woman with that much love" she had laughed and Dean had felt that weird beating of his heart.
His mind felt hazy for a few seconds and he could literally hear his heart drumming in his ears, all the blood had rushed in his face. He didn't know if he should deny it or not- technically he was pretending to be your boyfriend. But most importantly he didn't know if he wanted to deny it or not. Did he even feel like denying it?
Mildred had laughed at his red face "Oh no need to be like that. Probably you haven't even realized it yourself, but you will eventually. And you know, even if it doesn't work out - which I highly doubt- you know where to find me" she had winked at him and Dean had managed to breath out a laugh.
"I don't know, Mildred. I don't know" he had sighed, deciding it would be better if he should let some of his build up feeling out.
"But your heart does. Follow your heart, Dean. You do that, all the rest just figures itself out."
"I would really love to see that!" your voice and laughter broke his trail of thoughts.
He found himself laughing and smiling just at watching you this happy. It was contagious. And just like that Dean felt his heart beat in that weird way again.
He shook his head "You're really lucky you had me there though"
A softer smile was on his face "Yes" you sighed softly "Yes I really was- hell I really am the luckiest woman alive to have met you" you looked him fully in the eyes and Dean's smile flattered for a second.
"I really have no idea what I'd do without you. I have no words to thank you Dean for- for being who you are." you blushed slightly as you fidgeted with your hands.
Dean without realizing it placed a hand on top of yours and your head instantly snapped back up at him as he smiled slightly "There is no need to thank me (Y/n). If anything, I should be the one thanking you a thousand times" he muttered and you only gazed into his eyes.
Your heart beat in a weird way.
Dean wondered for a second if you did feel the same spark of electricity running through your hand just like with him. He couldn't help but momentarily think about how warm your hands were and how good it actually felt to hold them. Almost like two missing puzzle pieces finding each other, meant to do just that. Hold each other.
It felt so damn good it was almost... wrong. Dean wanted to shake the thoughts and feelings off. You were best friends, heshouldn't be feeling this kind of bliss with you. Not in this way. He had to fight it. Why? He had no other good reason other than the fact that you were friends and there was a high possibility that he was going to ruin everything between you. And quiet honestly he could not afford (emotionally) to lose you. No, the thought alone scared him.
He knew what his heart was saying -oh hell he did, because his entire body and mind was screaming just that to him- but he... did the exact opposite.
He pulled his hand away from yours and put on a flirty - though fake - smirk on his face "Hey no chick flick moments ok?"
You rolled your eyes "You're such a jerk" you muttered, crossing your arms over your chest with shake of your head.
He chuckled, winking at you playfully turning his back to you for a second as if to work a little more on the car- truth was he only wanted to avoid looking into your eyes. He knew you'd be able to tell everything he felt. His smile immediately fell.
"Hey by the way-" he cleared his throat.
"Yeah?" you asked, as you sat little Mary in your lap.
He knew he had still time to change his mind, to not utter those words. To take a completely different direction and tell you all of his feelings and probably hope for the best. But he didn't.
"Are you free tonight?" he glanced at you.
Your back straightened for a second and you raised an eyebrow "Uuh yeah...?" it came out as more of a question and you mentally kicked yourself for it.
"Oh great because I was thinking, I mean if you want to, to like-" he cleared his throat awkwardly.
"Yeah...?" you pressed him a little, feeling your heart soar just a little.
He had decided to push away, and there was only one way he - Dean Winchester - knew how to do that.
"I was wondering if you could babysit Mary tonight, cause I have a date"
And you instantly felt it drop and shatter into a thousand pieces.
"Oh." your eyes were casted down and here came the fake smiles again.
"Sure, no problem at all"
"Really?" he asked.
"Yeah. What are friends for after all?" you smiled weakly and he nodded his head.
"Great!" he said with a smile and he turned back to the car.
The smile fluttered from his lips at the pang inside his chest. But he tried to ignore it just like every time. He shook his head. He knew he was doing the right thing... or maybe he hoped so. Yes, forgetting while downing shot after shot and get drunk till he could not remember his own name or at least till he could see any woman as if it was you.
He had done that many times before.
"Great..." you mumbled, looking down at your hands.
~*~
You let out a sigh as you rested your head against Mary's bedroom's door. Only one question kept running through your mind at the moment.
How had you gotten into this situationagain?
You really felt like banging your head repeatedly against the door but you actually didn't, only not to wake the little girl up. At least she had not been questioning your silence or absence of concentration. You played a little with her and her dolls, fed her and made her have a bath. You tucked her to bed a little later and by the moment you were half into your story she had fallen asleep. With a final kiss on the little angel's forehead you left her room to find some silence.
Not that it was the best decision. Everything kept bringing the thought of Dean up. Especially Mary - she was so much like him and when she called you 'mom' the ache I your heart got even worse. It only reminded you of what you could never have. You felt like screaming and cursing at yourself for being so foolish, for even for a second letting your feelings get the better of you and actually believe there was something between the two of you.
"Fucking stupid" you cursed at yourself as you decided to gather Mary's toys from the floor.
You stood there for a second, staring at the fireplace- only to shake your head violently and let a small growl under your breath. You were only angry at yourself. You shook your head as you placed the toys away, only to stop at hearing-
A giggle?
Certainly not that of Mary's considering: 1) she was sleeping, 2) it sounded way too far from her innocent childlike giggle.
Your head snapped to the doorway were, for the first time, you couldn't believe what you were seeing.No, not because Dean this time had a (y/h/c) haired chick all over him, but just because he had a chick actually all over him... here. In front of you.
Your eyes widened and you tried to mask the look of hurt on your face. He had his lips locked to hers and you could see how they were both stumbling their way in, all the while fidgeting with each other's cloths in need of getting them off. You actually felt like throwing up.
But you had to stay calm. Just for the sake of it. You cleared your throat but they didn't hear you. You cleared your throat again but nothing.
"Dean" you said through gritted teeth but nothing.
You let a small growl under your breath "Dean!" - who said you'd be able to hide your jealousy though?
"Oh. Oh! (Y/n) hey- uhm hey! Sorry, sorry" he stammered as he pushed the woman away slightly "Sorry we got a little-" he chuckled awkwardly "-carried away"
"Yeah I can clearly see it" you crossed your arms over your chest.
"Who is this babe?" the woman asked in an obnoxious voice and you visibly rolled your eyes at her.
"Uuh she- she's- well, (Y/n) is- wait here a second" he pushed her away and strode to your side to pull you away from her earshot.
"Why don't you tell her who I am huh Dean?" you hissed and he sighed, running a hand down his face.
"Look (Y/n) I'm sorry-"
"Oh really, are you?!" you exclaimed and he sighed in guilt again.
"Yes, ok? Yes I am!" he tried to keep himself from shouting, but he ended up sighing again "It is not as if I am fuckingdoing this on purpose and you know it"
"I don't know a single thing anymore" you grumbled "What the hell is wrong with you, Winchester?"
"(Y/n)..." he sighed again.
"No don't '(Y/n)' me now. What do you think you're doing?"
"I know very well what I am doing, you just need to relax a little ok? I don't even get it. Why are you so pissed off about it all of a sudden?"
"All of a- All of a sudden?!" you let out a frustrated groan "Are you kidding me!?"
"No" he crossed his arms over his chest with a deep frown "No I'm not. Why are you so bothered by this huh?"
Your eyes widened for a second but you tried your best to not let anything show - you were certainly not going to tell him the truth which was also pretty much the fact that you were completely and utterly jealous.
"Mary"
"What Mary?"
"Your daughter Mary, unless you've forgotten" you said sassily.
"I know who Mary is, I just don't get what she has to do with this"
"Are you serious? What more reason do you fucking need other than the fact that she is sleeping in a room just a few feet away from yours?!"
"We'll... try to keep it low" he shrugged and you were about to let out a frustrated scream.
Instead you took a deep breath and tried to keep your jealousy and anger at bay- In vain.
"I high doubt it. The woman seems unable to keep it low" you glared at her from behind Dean. You rolled your eyes at her as she picked around on the things "And will you just tell her to stop doing that, I just cleaned this place"
"Sheesh relax, ok? Everything is gonna be fine. I don't see what problem you have- and don't you dare say it's only about Mary. You're acting like a jealous girlfriend all of a sudden and-" he immediately stopped himself as his eyes went wide for a second and you felt all your blood rush to your cheeks.
You cleared your throat and avoided eye-contact with him.
"(Y/n)-" he whispered in a low hoarse voice but you stopped him before he could say more. You definitely did not want your feelings being discovered to just another one-night-stand that would be gone in the morning.
"You know what-!" you took your bag and swung it over your shoulder "I don't care. You do whatever the hell you want to, but if Mary wakes up then I am not going to be here. You will have to find a way out of it" you growled and his eyes were still wide.
"Have a good fucking night" you growled, pushing her out of the way as you exited the house.
You wouldn't stand another second in there and above all watching her all over Dean, kissing him and touching him and-Agh! You let out a frustrated scream as you slammed your house's door shut. You didn't even bother making your way upstairs to your room. Seeing as it was straight opposite Dean's room, with your windows very close, you knew you'd not have any sleep at all. More like, only tears as you tried to sleep but couldn't because of her moans and all the things they did and-
No. You shook your head, even as a tear rolled. You brushed it furiously away and layed down on the couch. A few tears did roll but it was still better than all the many you knew you'd shed if you slept in your room. Thinking about him being with other women was hard but actually hearing him and maybe seeing him- oh that was far worse. And it had happened once.
~*~
You were woken up by someone knocking on your door. You groaned loudly and even if you did not want to you threw the blankets off of you and got up. The knocking kept on going for a little while but you took your sweet time rubbing your eyes to get the sleep out of them. You straightened your hair and got completely up from the couch. You dragged your way to the door but once you opened it you felt your posture straighten and a glare set on your face.
"Good morning?" Dean grinned awkwardly but you kept th glare on, not saying a thing.
"Ok" he nodded his head "Then- 'Hey yeah, thanks (Y/n) I am feeling great. What about you?' - 'Oh I don't know, I just thought I would drop by and bring some pie as a make-up gift?' - 'No I know it was a dick move and was actually hoping you could forgive me this way...?'"
You sighed, rolling your eyes "Come in" you grumbled, letting him step inside.
"So that means you forgive me?" he asked with a hopeful smile and you rolled your eyes.
"Considering the look on your face, and judging by the smile, you did have lots of fun last night without waking Mary up. Am I right?" you both made your way to the kitchen where you prepared to cut the pie.
"Sorta"
You raised an eyebrow at him an he continued.
"I told her to leave a little later after you were gone. You were right, (Y/n). I shouldn't have brought her by, I guess"
"You guess?"
"Fine, fine! I shouldn't have brought her by- period. Happy now?"
"Very much so" a grin broke on your face, mostly at the fact that nothing had happened between you. Not that he could know that or that you were going to let him know either.
A grin spread on his lips as well and he chuckled "Of course you would. Hey, by the way I had an idea"
"Mhm?"
"Before you serve us both a delicious piece of pie, how about we go get Mary and make this a movie day huh?"
"Movie day hm? It's been a long time since we had one." you mumbled to yourself, knife in hand as you were about to serve him some pie "Who are you and what did you do to my friend?" you narrowed your eyes at him, pointing your knife at him and he raised his hands in surrender.
"Whoa hey easy with that one! Knowing your clumsiness, you pointing a knife at me equals to no good" you rolled your eyes and lowered the knife.
"But really now, what do you think?" he smiled.
"I'm thinking sure!" you grinned "But how about we go by your place, I really love nothing more than throwing pop corn at you by the fireplace"
He laughed "Sure thing then. Come one grab your keys, and don't forget to take the pie with you"
"Didn't you just bring it to me?"
He shrugged "You know me" he grinned cheekily as he got up from his seat.
You rolled your eyes "Of course"
"No hey!" you suddenly exclaimed as Dean grabbed one plate with a piece of pie and walked out of your kitchen, and obviously your house.
"Dean!" you exclaimed, walking fast after him. He really couldn't wait for a freaking second.
But you really could not help a smile anyway. Oh hell you knew you had a joker grin on your lips the entire time at thinking that Dean had not slept with the chick last night. And then there was that small greedy part of you that thought that he had all that because of you- or mostly, for you.
"Ah Dean wait!" you shouted after him as you tried to lock the door as quickly as possible. You groaned under your breath and cursed at him.
"You know when you said you'd gladly have me over for dinner I didn't expect you to literally wait for me here with a slice of pie in your hand" a deep, though less deeper than Dean's, voice was heard as you made your way to Dean's house.
You were actually lucky you had not changed clothes last night, or else it would have been impossible to catch up with him if you'd have to change from your pjs.
"Oh shut up, moose and come give your brother a hug" Dean sounded very excited as he laughed wholeheartedly.
"Aw but you're not wearing your 'I wuv hugz' T-shirt today" the man chuckled but still did hug Dean.
You frowned for a second as you saw the scene in front of you, deciding to walk a little more slow to not interrupt something.
"Hey not a word about that one, ok?" Dean pointed a finger at him "It just happened once"
"Yeah, right. Once" the man rolled his eyes.
"Oh shut it! And what are you doing here already?"
"Oh well if you want me to I can leave and come back in the evening"
Dean his his shoulder "I don't mean that. I am actually mad at you that you haven't come in so long, but I didn't expect you this early today"
The man shrugged "Dunno, I decided to drive directly here instead of going by home first. Hope you don't mind"
"What are you talking about? You know my place is yours as well. Mary will be hella happy to see her uncle after all this time!" Dean grinned at him and the man himself smiled a - you could definitely admit - cute smile.
His dimples showed and you found yourself biting your lower lip. Even if you had not heard all of it you actually did not care much. Every word seemed to just fly by over your head as you stared at him from afar. Tall, very tall, even more than Dean. Long brown shady hair that looked so soft you could easily run your fingers through for hours, and big hazel eyes adorned his face. Although you were not sure about their color, especially as the sun shone over him.
"I surely am really happy to see her as well! It's been really long, I think I'm going to probably take a break or something"
"You sure as hell need it man"
"I had to keep going and you know it. Things are not the same without you but... oh" Sam instantly stopped himself as his eyes locked with yours as you stood behind Dean.
"Sorry" you mumbled as you took a few steps closer to them "I-I didn't mean to interrupt you guys"
"No, no it's fine" it was the man that spoke instead of Dean.
"Yeah (Y/n), come here. I think it's high time you met the man whose diapers I've been changing ever since I remember myself" Dean said with a grin and you giggled slightly- mostly at the face said man shoot at him. It was a mix of a glare with something else you coul not point your finger on.
"Sammy, my little brohter" he said full of pride and you smiled at that.
"Sam, this is (Y/n) the hottest neighbor you'll ever find" Dean said with a smirk and you glared at him, although you could not help a smile at the compliment.
"And my neighbor as well" he added.
You extended your hand and shook Sam's that was already extended, a small smile on your lips as he smiled widely at you. It was almost contagious.
"Nice to finally meet you Sam. I've heard a lot about you"
He shook your hand, his warmth making you feel a little tingly. He nodded his head with a grin "It is great to meet you as well (Y/n)"
And a heart beat in a weird way.