❝return (pronounced rɪˈtəːn or ri-turn), verb
to go back to a place from one's past.❞
Ryan woke up, her eyes sore and red from crying again. Hunter was beside her, breathing softly and holding her close, keeping her warm. The winter had lasted longer this year, and even though it was supposed to be spring, it was still colder than it should have been.
It was April now. Robin was already planning her seventh birthday, and Phoenix was as closed up and quiet as ever. Spencer, though he had been homesick for a few weeks, was now adjusted to the new environment he found himself in, and was beginning to like America.
Elle, however, had made the biggest change of all. She was... happy. She was kind again, less angry, more sweet. She had spoken with Hunter, and they had decided not to look for their real families until Elle was older, and had the choice of whether or not she wanted to live with them. She had been making more friends, her rehearsals for the ballet were going spectacularly, and she was feeling wonderful all the time.
The only thing Hunter seemed to be worried about was the constant presence of a boy named Chad. He had hair that he had dyed black, and green eyes, and had at least four piercings, and a strange... aura about him. Ryan sensed it as well, but he hadn't done anything wrong, and so they had no reason to tell her to stay away from him, other than his strange looks.
Hunter had been talking about trying again for a baby, but it was the last thing Ryan wanted. She was so scared. She didn't want to lose another child. She didn't want to watch Hunter break that way ever again. That same nightmare of the miscarriage had woken her up again last night, left her crying for ages while Hunter tried to console her.
He stirred, squeezing Ryan gently. "G'morning," he said sleepily.
"Mornin'," she replied.
"You okay?"
"'Course. Why wouldn't I be?"
"Well, last night, for one thing."
"I'm fine."
He smiled slightly at her. "Hey, why don't we go out tonight for dinner? Elle can babysit."
"We'll see. I might be busy tonight, I'm reapplying for the high school, so I'm visiting Principal Thatcher today."
"The high school? Is that safe?"
She chuckled slightly. "Hunter, your logic is like saying, 'Sometimes cars can crash, therefore I should never drive again.' Yes, there can be accidents. But I trust that the principal has taken the necessary precautions to ensure that-"
"You're using such big words, stop."
"Aww, are you struggling to understand?" said Ryan with a laugh.
"No, you just sound so posh, and it's too damn early in the morning," he mumbled, pulling her closer. "I like it when you talk smart. I just haven't had my coffee. I like understanding your smart talk."
"You've got a problem, Hunt. I'll stage an intervention soon."
"It's not a problem," he whined. "I'm fine."
"You're such an idiot," said Ryan with a small laugh. "I love you."
"I love you more."
They lay there for a while, waiting for Ryan's alarm to go off at six am. It was still 5:43 am, and the sun was slowly beginning to rise. Hunter could feel his heart beating in sync with Ryan's, feeling more at peace than he had the whole time since she had come back from London. There was sunlight. Sunlight, in their relationship and outside. It was perfect, warm, and they were slowly beginning to warm up to each other again. Being away from each other for so long had made them not as comfortable with each other, almost like two teenagers who had been dating for a couple of days at most.
"It's our anniversary today," said Hunter quietly.
"It is, too," she responded, kissing him. "Which one this time?"
"Our eighth."
"It feels like just yesterday, doesn't it? That day in the car?"
"Yeah. It does." He kissed her. "I'm glad that that wasn't the last time."
"Do you remember our wedding day? I was pregnant with Robbie."
"And Lexi was angry because I had moved on from Lilly." He sighed. "Good times, huh?"
She chuckled slightly. "Of course."
The alarm went off, and Ryan sighed. "I'll wake the kids up."
"So is our date on for tonight?" he asked.
"Of course it is," she said, kissing him once. "Now, get changed. You need to go to the studio today."
He smiled gently, letting her stand, and she went into the bathroom, beginning to brush out her tangled blonde hair. She took a quick shower, before standing in the mirror, staring at herself.
Her hair was longer since the last time she had noticed it, up to the bottom of her ribs, and her eyes looked tired. She would need makeup to cover that up, she thought. Her freckles, too, looked abnormally dark on her pale skin. Her body was the best it had been in years- not too thin, but athletic, and curvy enough to be desirable. She pulled on a casual dress with long sleeves and leggings to stay warm, and walked to the kitchen. Hunter had made toast and hot chocolates for the kids to eat and drink, and Elle was patiently cutting up Spencer's toast for him. "You look beautiful," he said, and she smiled. Spencer waved cheerfully to Ryan. "Hi, Mama!"
"Hey, bud." She sat down. "Come on, Hunt, eat with us."
He sat down as well, smiling at the lot of them. "Ellie, do you mind looking after these three tonight? We're just going for a night out."
"Sure. Need to get to school, though. I've got a test. See you!" She stood up with a piece of toast in her hand.
"Honey, you don't need to take the bus today. I can take you. I'm reapplying for a job at the high school."
She sat back down. "Oh. Cool."
Ryan couldn't help but notice that Elle seemed less than pleased about not taking the bus. When she noticed Ryan looking at her, she smiled, trying to make her less suspicious.
She kissed Hunter goodbye, and each of the three kids as well. She and Elle made their way to Ryan's car, and Ryan smiled at Elle.
"How're you doing, Ma?"
"Better than I was." She looked out at the road. "I just... I dunno how ready I am for another kid. If I lose another one, I can't imagine what I'll put Pa through."
"You won't lose another one, Ma. Just think, it's so unlikely."
She sighed. "I'm just afraid, Elle. You know me, always afraid. I hate it."
"You'll be okay." She smiled, touching her arm. "Ready to go back to school?"
"Oh, I'm nervous." She laughed. "It'll be fun."
"It's great to see you smiling again," said Elle.
"Same goes for you," said Ryan. "You're so happy now, it's wonderful."
"I'm..." She smiled. "I dunno. I'm feeling really good these days."
"That's good."
They pulled up at the school, and Elle hopped out. "Alright, I gotta get going. Good luck!"
"Thank you, darl. I'll pick you up after school as well, alright?"
"Okay. Thank you, Ma. Love you."
"Love you, too," she said, kissing her cheek. "Be good."
Elle walked away, and Ryan looked up, at the school that had been the place she had lost her sanity three years ago. Taking a deep breath, she walked forward.
Old students from her class, students who had been a part of the shooting all waved at her and smiled, some even coming up and hugging her, asking her how she had been. The bell rang, and the students filtered into their classrooms. Ryan began the walk towards the principal's office.
She heard running footsteps behind her. "Excuse me! Ma'am!"
She turned around, and saw a man running towards her. "Are you Dr Hayes-Lockhart?" he said, his Spanish background very obvious from his accent.
"Yes, I am," she said. "Do I know you from somewhere?"
He nodded. "My name is Diego Martinez," he said. "You remember Mina?"
"Mina? You were her fiancé?"
He nodded. "Yes! I was studying to be a Spanish teacher and I applied here to surprise her, but then..." His face became sad, and he looked down. "I couldn't stay here for a very long time. I moved to Spain to be with my sister's family, and I moved back here just last year."
"I... I moved away, too. To London. I went to Cambridge and got my doctorate."
"That's amazing," he said. "I need to go to my class, but I'll see you soon!"
"Yes, absolutely. Goodbye!"
He disappeared into a classroom. Ryan had never actually met him- he and Mina were always too busy to come around for dinner. But she felt sadness again. The poor man. She couldn't imagine how she would feel if she were ever to lose Hunter.
That was a thought that made her breathing hitch for a moment, before she collected herself. This wasn't the time to think about something like that. She needed to breathe.
In, out, in, out. Ten seconds. One, two, three... She repeated the practised words in her head, words that she had needed during those first few months in London. The debilitating, and entirely irrational fear that Hunter would fall in love with another woman while in London had stuck with her throughout her entire trip. She knew it would never happen, but it didn't stop her from worrying.
Her heart raced, and she knocked on the door of the principal's office.
"Come in," she heard a familiar voice say, and she opened the door, her knees knocking together harder than when she met Hunter for the first time.
"Ryan," said Principal Thatcher warmly, standing and shaking her hand. "Or should I say Doctor?"
"That's not necessary," she said with a small laugh. "Pleasure to see you again, sir."
"And you, Ryan. Sit down. Would you like something to drink?"
"No, thank you." She took her seat. "Are you doing well, sir?"
"Going to physiotherapy, I suppose." He sighed. "They think I'll be able to walk again, perhaps with a walking stick. But not quite yet. I still need to exercise very vigorously. And yourself, dear?"
"I'm fine, thank you. Spencer and I are very glad to be back in America. He loves his father so much."
"I can imagine. How is Mr Hayes?"
"He's well. Preparing for the biggest tour of his career soon, and, well... I've decided to end my maternity leave."
"That's wonderful to hear," said the principal, a warm smile in his voice. "Welcome back, Dr Hayes-Lockhart."
<><><><><><><><>
Ryan got to the church, intending to pay Father Logan a visit. She felt slightly nervous going in, but opened the big wooden doors anyway.
The first thing she noticed was an eight or nine year old boy with dark hair and dark eyes running through the pews. "Father Logan?" she called, though she was slightly confused. Was this his grandson? It had never occurred to Ryan that Father Logan must have been married.
Another person walked out of Father Logan's office. He had salt and pepper hair and stubble. His blue eyes shone brightly. "Hi," said the man. "You were looking for Father Logan?"
"Yes."
"I'm sorry. He passed away a few months ago."
Ryan's heart sunk. Father Logan had been the one who had convinced her to go back to Hunter when they had fought, the one to marry them, the one she had told about her pregnancy with Robin and he had visited her in the hospital when Peter had gone on his rampage. To hear that he was gone shocked her.
"Do you need to sit down?" asked the man gently. He wasn't much older than Ryan was.
"N-No, thank you. I'm fine."
The man held out a hand. "He was my father. As in... my dad. I'm Father Charles. But I prefer Charlie."
"I'm Ryan. It's nice to meet you, I didn't know Father Logan had children." She chuckled. "I suppose I just never really thought about it."
The little boy had come to cling to the man's leg, and he picked him up. "This is my son, Jordan."
"Hey, Jordan," she said with a smile, and he smiled back. "Well, thank you. It's been great to meet you."
"And you," Father Charlie replied. "Will I see you at mass?"
"No, I'm not religious. I come here because it's got a very ambient feel, and I love being here just to relax, to come to terms with myself.
"Of course," he said. "Well, I'll see you soon. Bye!"
"Bye!"
<><><><><><><><>
Chad hugged Elle as she walked out the school gates. "So... you aren't taking the bus anymore?"
"No," she said. "I'm sorry, but-"
"Ellie!" Ma waved from where she was standing, next to her car.
"Is that your mom? She's pretty good looking."
She hit him. "Oi!"
"Nah, you're cuter," he said, with a laugh. Elle glanced at the other side of the road and noticed Drew walking along sullenly. She'd call him later, she decided. She needed help with her Chemistry homework.
"Alright, whatever. I gotta get going. See you," she said, hugging him quickly.
"Bye," he said.
She walked to Ma, and Ma said, "Is that why you were so disappointed that you couldn't take the bus?"
"What?"
"I'm not entirely stupid. I was young once, too."
"Don't be stupid, you're still young."
She laughed. "Thank you, darl. Come on. Do you have a lot of homework?"
"Not much, why?"
"Just need to go to the market and grab some groceries. Are you okay to make dinner tonight?"
"Sure, what do you want me to make?"
"Anything's fine. But maybe something Spence can help with, he loves helping me in the kitchen."
"Yeah, okay." She sighed tiredly. "Can I invite Drew over?"
"Of course."
She smiled at Ryan, and Ryan smiled back. "I got the job back. I'm starting next week."
"That's good to hear."
Ryan sighed. "Everything's comin' up, Milhouse," she said, and Elle laughed.
<><><><><><><><>
"Honey?"
"Yeah?"
"Are you ready?"
"Not yet, no," said Ryan, coming out of the bathroom wearing a towel. "Where are we going?"
"Never mind that," he said. "I bought you a dress."
"Hunter, we've talked about you buying me things," she said, sounding slightly stern.
"Hey, if you don't like it, I can take it back," he said.
"Alright, alright. But you didn't need to buy me anything."
"I know I didn't need to. But I wanted to." He pulled out the dress, and Ryan's eyes widened as she gasped.
The dress had a black torso, nothing special about it, with a square dip where her cleavage would be. But the skirt... the skirt was all indigos and blues and purples and oranges and pinks, all fading into white at the bottom. It was made of a flowing material, one Ryan didn't know the name of. But goodness, it was so beautiful.
"It's... it's..."
"A sunset over a lake," he said. "At least, that's the description."
"It's so beautiful," she breathed. "What... how much did this cost you?"
"Don't worry about that. Will you wear it tonight?"
"Of course I will," she said. "Thank you."
"It's my pleasure."
Hunter handed her some matching jewellery that Lucky had helped him to buy, and she went back into the bathroom. There was quiet, before she called, "Help me out with my zipper?"
"Of course," said Hunter, walking into the room. Ryan had her back turned, and she was wearing the dress he had given her. Her hair was tied elegantly into a bun, with small strands coming out of it. He let his fingers trail down the perfect, creamy skin of her back, before zipping up the dress.
She turned around. "Thank you. How do I look?"
"Like you always do. Like perfection," he responded without missing a beat.
She chuckled. "Where are we going that's so fancy, anyway?"
"You'll see." He kissed her forehead. "Shall we get going?"
"Yes, let's go."
Hunter crossed his fingers. Hopefully, Ryan would agree to try for a baby tonight.
That way, at least they'd both be happy.
*A/N: Yay! Good to see y'all again! Hope you enjoyed the chapter!
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Nethii <3*