❝bittersweet (pronounced bɪt ərˈswit or bit-er-sweet), adjective
happiness with a tinge of sadness.❞
The next morning, Hunter slowly dragged himself out of his bed and made himself a coffee. He hadn't slept the whole night through, and there was only so much salt water his pillow could hold. He couldn't understand why he was hurting so much. Of course, he knew the reason, but somehow, it hurt worse than when Lilly had lost their child. It was just... more painful with Ryan. Maybe it was making old feelings of hurt and resentment float to the surface, Hunter didn't know. But whatever it was, it was killing him slowly.
He sipped at his coffee, opening his laptop to find a video message from Ryan, sent six hours earlier. He opened it.
"Hey," she said, before taking a deep breath. "By the time you see this, I'll be on a plane. I'm at the airport right now. Estimated arrival time is at 7 am in America, third of February. So... I'll see you then."
His eyes widened. "She's what?!" he whispered, before checking the time on his laptop. 8:47.
He jumped up, going to the bathroom and brushing his teeth, before leaving a note to Elle.
Ellie,
Something's come up, make Nick and Robbie breakfast, I'll be back soon.
Pa
Then, he pulled on some adequate clothes, a hat and sunglasses to hide his face, and headed out the door.
<><><><><><><><>
"Mama, I'm tired," complained Spencer.
"I know, darling, just a bit longer," she said, trying to hide the tiredness in her own voice. Eighteen hours of pure hell were taking their toll on her. All she wanted was to be at home, in Hunter's arms. She had never wanted it quite as badly as she wanted it now. Not in all her time in London.
It had been hard to say goodbye to their old home, especially for Spencer. He didn't understand why they couldn't take his race car bed, or half the food in the kitchen. Ryan was just glad she was on good terms with the landlord and could hand her keys in early, and that she had already sold her car.
There was another line, and Ryan sighed. She needed to rest. She needed to sleep. Spencer, as they quickly found out, was terrified of heights, and wouldn't stop fussing for the entire plane ride here. They were in Nashville now, full of people with accents different to hers and Spencer's, and he hated it. "Mama, can we go back?" he asked.
"No, darling. When we get out of here, we'll be staying with Papa, I promise. Please, just hold on for a little bit longer. I promise, we'll have Papa, okay?"
He sighed, pouting, before beginning to cry. He was tired, cranky, and he was throwing a tantrum. Ryan felt like crying, too. She was so exhausted. An older woman, maybe about in her sixties, who was lined up behind Ryan asked, "Are you alright, dear?"
"He's just tired," she said, trying not to let her voice tremble from how close to tears she was at this point.
"You look tired, too. Would you like me to hold your luggage while you calm him?"
"That would be wonderful, thank you." She let go of her suitcase and picked Spencer up, giving him a hug. "Oh, honey, come on. It's not long now. See, we're nearly at the front!"
"I'm hungry," he cried. "And I'm sleepy."
"Would you like me to buy him some hotcakes from McDonald's or something?" asked her partner, who was around the same age as her.
"Yes, please," she said, digging through her purse for her wallet. "I don't have any American money-"
"That's fine, it doesn't cost that much."
"N-No, in that case-"
"It's fine, darl," said the man. "Wanna come with me, little man?"
He stopped sniffling and looked at Ryan. "I..." she said, feeling guilty. "You shouldn't have to pay- my husband will be at the gates, he can pay you back-"
"Please, don't worry. You look very tired." The man beckoned to Spencer. "Is it okay for him to come with me?"
"Y-Yes... of course..."
The man left, and the woman smiled at Ryan. "Would you like me to tell him to buy you a coffee as well?"
"No, thank you. I don't drink coffee."
"Some tea, then?"
"No, that's fine, thank you."
"Hmm. Have you eaten anything at all, my dear?"
"Yes, I had a cup of tea on the plane-"
"But have you eaten?"
She sighed. "No."
"I'll call my husband, hold on."
"I don't need anything, ma'am," she said. "Spencer won't eat much, I'll finish whatever he leaves over."
"No, really, I insist." She called her husband. "Rick? Yes, just buy this young woman a tea and perhaps... do you like the English muffins they serve, dear?" she asked, and Ryan nodded guiltily. "Yes, and a muffin. Bye."
"Thank you," said Ryan quietly. "It's been a long couple of days for me."
"I can see that. What brings you to America?"
"It's a one-way flight. I used to live here, three years ago. I moved to London to study with this little one, and now I'm back. My husband should be here to pick us up."
"I see." She smiled. "My name is Cadence, and that was my husband, Richard."
"Pleasure," said Ryan. "My name is Ryan. Thank you."
There was something oddly familiar about the woman, but Ryan couldn't put her finger on it. Perhaps it was the shape of her face, or her eyes...
"Ryan? I believe my granddaughter's favourite teacher's name was Ryan, too. We're here to visit her, actually."
"What's your granddaughter's name? Perhaps I know her."
"My son's daughter is Lola, and daughter's young lady is named Cassie."
"Lola? Of course I know her! Edwards, right?"
"Yes! Oh, that's wonderful, I can finally put a face to the name. Ryan Hayes-Lockhart?"
"Yes, that's me."
Spencer returned, looking slightly happier, and Ryan smiled gently at him. "Now, darling, do you want me to cut up your hotcakes?"
"I got nuggets!"
"They sell nuggets in the morning?"
"They do in airports, apparently. The time difference must throw a lot of people off." Rick smiled at Ryan, before looking at Cadence. "Well, my dear, it's best we get going, we're almost next."
Ryan was handed a bag, and she thanked them both again, before they left. She smiled at Spencer, rubbing his head. This had given her a glimmer of hope, a sign that someone- some force of nature, something she would never truly understand- that thing was on her side. Maybe that thing was God, she didn't know. But she felt hope, and that was all that mattered.
They got to the front of the line, and once they got through, they went to the luggage carousel. Ryan found their luggage, and managed to pull it off the conveyor belt. She looked up and noticed a man wearing a cap and sunglasses, who seemed to be looking for someone. Ryan pointed him out to Spencer. "I think that that's Papa, darling."
He gasped. "Papa!"
The man looked over, and his face broke out into a grin. He almost ran over, before enveloping both Ryan and his little boy in a hug. "Ry..." he breathed, and she could feel his warm breath rush across her cheek. "God, Ry, I love you so much..."
"I love you, too," she breathed. "Come on, help me grab the luggage."
He did so easily- his arms were far stronger than hers were, and soon, everything was packed up and ready to go. Spencer, his tiredness forgotten, chatted excitedly with Hunter about the plane ride and all the movies he had watched. Hunter smiled every now and again, but he seemed... off. He was the same as Ryan was- he wasn't sure how to feel. It was wonderful that they were together again, but the circumstances were less than pleasant.
Could the circumstances ever change?
<><><><><><><><>
Hunter opened the door, and Elle looked up and screamed. "Ma!" she gasped, standing up and running into Ryan's arms. Spencer was immediately terrified of Nita and ran back out the door, and Hunter lifted him up.
"I got a video message from Ma this morning," he said. "She just... came back."
Robin, too, hugged Ryan and Spencer tightly, but Phoenix held back slightly. He wasn't sure what he wanted Ryan to be to him anymore. Spencer was panicking when Nita sniffed his foot, so Phoenix said, "Relax. She won't hurt you. Papa, let him down so he can meet her."
Hunter did so, and Spencer hid behind his leg. Nita sniffed curiously. "Spence, this is Nita. She's my dog."
"She's scary!"
"No, she's not," he said patiently. "Nita, sit!"
Nita immediately sat down, and Spencer peeked out nervously. "Okay," said Phoenix. "Now, stick out your hand, but don't touch her. Just let her smell you, so that she doesn't get scared of you."
Spencer extended a shaking hand, and Nita licked it once. "She trusts you. Now, just reach out and pat her."
"Don't worry, darling, Nita's very gentle," said Ryan.
His hand connected with her fur, and he giggled slightly. "Soft."
"Exactly, see? No need to be scared."
Hunter wrapped an arm around Ryan's waist. "Spence, you and Mama need some rest. I'll stay with Mama, why don't you sleep in your new room?"
He nodded sleepily, and Ryan picked him up gently, carrying him to what had once been his nursery. "Here's your room," she said. "We'll get you a car bed soon, okay?"
"Okay," he said. Ryan lay him down, and he fell asleep the moment his head hit the pillow.
Hunter smiled slightly at Ryan, before suddenly picking her up, bridal style. She laughed in shock. "Hunt!"
"Let's go to bed," he said. "We can just talk for a little while."
"Yeah. That'd be good."
He let her lie down, and she sighed, snuggling into his chest. "It's lovely to finally lie down."
"How are you doing?" he asked, rubbing her back gently.
She sighed. "Not too well, I'll be honest."
"You're not the only one." He sighed. "It... it hurts, doesn't it? It's all that ever plagues your mind."
"It's like... you just... you wonder. You wonder if that child was going to be a boy or a girl. If they were going to become an astrophysicist, or something incredible like that. If they were going to look exactly like you."
"I know," he said softly. "I know."
She closed her eyes, beginning to cry softly, and Hunter did the same. "I'm so sorry," Ryan breathed. "I couldn't... I couldn't..."
"Don't blame yourself," he said, sounding choked up. "I promise, we'll try again soon, and this time, it'll work, and you'll be okay, do you understand?"
"I can't help it, Hunter. What if it was me? What if something I did-"
"It wasn't something you did. We know that much for sure."
"But-"
"Stop it." He sounded broken. "Please. The only thing worse than losing this child is to hear you blame yourself for it. I love you. I love you more than life itself."
"I just can't help it. I..."
"We'll try again as soon as you're ready. Then it'll be okay. You hear me?"
She nodded silently. Hunter kept holding her, kissing her hair until she fell asleep with him.
But his mind was still racing, and so was his heart. He just didn't know what he was going to do.
<><><><><><><><>
Elle put her bag down, and she began tying her hair into a bun. Felicia flounced towards her, and she didn't bother to hide her groan. "What do you want this time?" she asked, sounding annoyed.
Felicia just laughed. "Just looking at your shoes. They're so... childish."
"Calvin and Hobbes isn't childish, and nor am I," she said testily.
"Says the one who can barely read Dr Seuss." Her friends, tittered, and Elle smiled bitterly.
"Well, you know, maybe you'd like my shoes if..."
"If what?"
"If your mind were as open as your legs always are."
Felicia's mouth dropped open. "Excuse me?"
"What, you think I don't know about your little fling with Keith last week?"
"That wasn't-"
"Sure it wasn't, sweetheart. What was on your neck, mosquito bites?" asked Elle sweetly, making her blush even harder.
"Shut up," she snapped.
"What, can't think of any good comebacks?"
"Class is beginning now!" called Madame Lorenzo, clapping her hands. Felicia gave Elle a deathly look, before walking to the front and center of the barre. Elle made her way to the back, to the very end- she preferred not to be noticed, not to be seen. They did the exercises, and Madame said, "Get into three lines, class. We're learning some new steps today."
Felicia went to the front and centre of the first line, and Elle stayed in the back, avoiding eye contact with anyone. "Felicia, dear, perhaps Elle should come to the front. Willow, you swap with Elle, and Felicia can be where you are. Elle, come to the front, please."
Nobody was happy with this, but they did as they were told. Elle loved dancing, but ever since she had gotten such a huge role in the production, she didn't know how good she was anymore. Once upon a time, she was assured of her own ability- nowadays, she doubted she had ever had any sort of talent. Regardless, they all moved into their new spots.
Elle could almost feel Felicia fuming from behind her. She almost wanted to offer the place back to her, but then realised how bitchy it would be to keep it. And she may not have been a bitch to everyone, but she was a bitch to her. She made completely sure of that.
Class was finally over, and Chad, who liked to hang around the dance studio, was talking to Felicia, who giggled and twirled her hair as she talked to him. Elle rolled her eyes. Why not just wear a sign that said 'I Have A Giant Crush on Chad Gardner'? It wasn't like she had anything to lose, after all. It was so plainly obvious.
She walked past them, and Chad chased after her. "Hey! Elle!"
She tried not to look annoyed when Chad caught up to her. "Hi!"
"Hey," she said. "Sorry, I gotta get going, my dad's going somewhere tonight."
"Oh, right. Hey, uh, so I was just wondering, did you wanna go out next week sometime? Like, for a movie or something?" he said extremely nervously.
Her eyes widened. He had had a crush on her? "Why?" she said, before she even realised what she was saying, and he blushed harder.
"Er... well... I mean... you can have time to think about it?"
"N-No, I mean... yeah. I'll... I'll call you tonight about it, okay?"
"Y-Yeah! Okay!" He grinned, and walked away. Elle was blushing slightly. She wasn't sure how she felt about Chad, but her mind had certainly opened up to him slightly. He was cute, after all. But she'd never been in a relationship. She didn't know how to be in one, and she wasn't sure what she wanted.
She glanced over at Felicia, who was fuming. Elle simply smiled, waved, and walked away.
She was finally winning in life.
*A/N: finally, a good week for me :) hope y'all had a good one too :D
VOTE, COMMENT AND FOLLOW!!!!
Nethii <3*