"God come on, we're in public!" You whined and held the bottle of vodka in front of your eyes, watching as Matty grinned into the kiss and moved away from Zoey.
"Come on Y/N. We have a week of Holiday before school starts again! I'm allowed to enjoy my freedom with my lady." He commented and spoke the last three words seducely, winking down at Zoey and wrapped his hand into her dark brown hair.
You mimicked his sentence in a high pitched voice, looking down at the bonfire in front of you. He laughed softly by your drunken state and placed his lips back on Zoey's, another groan escaping your lips by his act.
It was killing to watch. Not because you didn't want to see Matty as happy as he was. But because this was almost killing you by every second passing by and the vodka in your hands wasn't that appealing to your current state of situation.
You had lost the count of days.
Count of days with living the world of dark grey colors. Days with your heart broken into pieces that didn't seem to get glued back together. The day after was definitely the worst.
Running out of math didn't seem as the best idea considering you were supposed to perform a presentation with Rebecca. Leaving her behind was something that made guilt creep up your spine but it couldn't compare to the knife being stabbed into your heart repeatedly every single time the imagine of Meredith would flash before your eyes.
You hated her.
It was a strong word to use, but by every single image of her near Luke you wanted to tear the picture. Even if she was unaware of the fact that you and Luke had been together she didn't seem to respect his rejections.
But after the breakup between you, Luke didn't seem to accept any of her shit. He would snap at her even on unnecessary times, making you laugh inside with evil laughter. Even if you weren't with Luke any longer it was a pleasure to see him reject the one person that made everything ten times harder.
Living a sudden life without Luke was difficult, and not just the typical high school breakup difficult. No this was tearing you apart – almost.
Even after trying to admit to yourself 100 times that it was for the best, your brain and heart were battling against each other because trying to forget someone you love is like trying to remember someone you never knew. You constantly had to stop yourself from texting him over the phone, call him over skype and hang around after classes. Every single thing in your life which you had been used to do was ripped away into pieces just like your heart.
Matty was definitely your rock at this point of life. He was there when you needed it, comforted you for almost an hour after you ran out of the classroom. With his strict parents and loyalty towards the school he never dared to skip class. But for this one time, he did.
He wanted you to forget about the pain but still remain the thought of Luke in your mind. Considering you would have to survive the many many math classes until the final exams, he tried his best to make you realize that he still existed even though you weren't together any longer. It was like everything was reversed back to the beginning of how everything started between you.
Luke seemed to be struggling as well. Or at least for the first two weeks. Every time he would be near you by your table or at the hallways, his cheeks would blush and his body would shake. It was like the two of you were trying so hard to desperately ignore each other it, it ended up being completely reserved.
But on the third week everything seemed to change. It was like Luke was a whole new person and you were still stuck in the same character of 'still living the life of being in a relationship with him even though you weren't.
He wouldn't share you a glance. He did everything he could to avoid any sort of contact with you, and it was making your blood boil. Even if you were trying to get over him you still loved him more than ever and to see him be such a coldhearted bitch made you so incredibly mad you never thought it was possible.
And while you were struggling with the my math teacher is my ex-boyfriend dilemma, Matty was living on the light pink cloud of pure love.
Since the night at The Vibe, he had been spending much more time on his phone rather than the real world. You had never expected Matty to be the person who thought his phone was much more interesting than human conversations face to face. You were always in that role, but with Matty somehow managing to actually start dating the brunette from the club, he hadn't been talking about anything ever since.
Of course you were happy for him, you really were. But it was difficult to be glad on his behalf when you were struggling with heartbreak yourself. He made sure to both focus on you and Zoey, using all his time on you in school to talk about stuff, distract you from Luke and make you happy while he used all his spare time on her. It was a win win situation for him considering she was just a year older. Even if he had expected her to be older since she came into the blub of 21+, she had snuck in just like you had.
"Y/N maybe you should cut down on the vodka...? Your eyes are barely white at this point." Zoey suggested carefully, worry filling her eyes.
"Oh don't even start on that you'll only trigger her." Matty warned and looked down at her, trying to save her from one of your drunken outburst. You nodded your head agreeing to Matty's words and sipped back on the bottle, your tongue taking in the non-flavored liquid.
"I know but drinking her brain out won't do any wonder, I mean I know it's a great distraction from Luke and the two of us aren't really helping..." Zoey whispered and looked over at you sympathetically. Your eyes were focused on the bon fire in front of you, forgetting about the whole situation and the people around you.
Going out was something you rarely did now. You rejected all the invitations you received, everything from small birthdays to walks at the beach and parties at the high school. This was actually your first time out after weeks and to be social between people again was a new thing for you.
And to survive that, you were accompanied with a bottle of cheap vodka.
Matty was the one convincing you but it wasn't easy. He had showed up at your house with Zoey, using all his strength to pull you out of bed and force you to dress up. You knew he was right, you knew that you needed this but the invitation of a bonfire party in the woods didn't sound that appealing to you.
Especially because it was down by the lake. The exact same lake that you went for a walk with Luke at the math camp months ago.
"Is Luke still ignoring her?" She whispered and tucked her fingers in Matty's curly locks.
"It becomes worse every single day." He whispered back and moved his head into her touch, smiling sadly at you and took a sip of his own red cup.
With Matty and Zoey becoming closer as a couple, it was difficult to keep in the secrets. It was never Matty's intension to spoil anything but when he spoiled that you were suffering through a heartbreak with a boy named Luke he had to tell some parts of the story. He told that there was a year gap between the two of you that seemed to ruin everything and you were the one deciding that you shouldn't be together any longer even though that wasn't how you felt actually. No mentions of him being a teacher, no mentions of him working at the school and it seemed to work perfectly in that term of lie.
"I can hear you." You mumbled without removing your gaze from the flames. Matty's cheeks blushed by your words and he placed a hand on top of your shoulder.
"Please." You waved his hand away from your body, "Enjoy each other. You never know when the end will come and your heart will explode into smaller pieces." You formed a small smile to show you weren't offended or any way mad at him. You grabbed the bottle of vodka and this time you didn't waste the sip at all, dropping the plastic glass shots in your hand.
"Oh my god Y/N, I think you need to stop now, this is getting out of hand." Matty exclaimed and grabbed your hand from holding the bottle of vodka and moved it away from your mouth. You sent him a death glare and shook your head disagreeing.
"It's alright Matty. I need this. It's what makes me happy at the moment." You pushed his hand away with your free one and took as much as you could from the bottle, squeezing your eyes by the feeling and looked at him with a raised eyebrow because of his odd stare.
"You know you're not an alcoholic and this is not gonna help you get over Luke. You know that." He scoffed and took the bottle of vodka away from your grip, hiding it behind the stumps of tree you were sitting at.
"I thought we both agreed he wouldn't be mentioned in my life anymore?" You said and crossed your arms, your eyes red and dazed from all the alcohol you had taken in the last two hours.
He nodded his head with an apologizing look, "I'm sorry. It's just I've never seen you this drunk before and it's not even midnight yet!"
"That's because I took a few sips of my dad's Jack Daniel's while you and Zoey were kissing on the end of my stairs. You know, this bonfire party is gonna be a bigger blast than ever before seen in the history life of high school parties!" You slurred your arms in the air while speaking and both Matty's and Zoey's eyes widened by your drunken state.
He had never seen you this drunk in the almost four years you guys had been to high school together and he was starting to grow nervous. Maybe he should have listened to Zoey.
"You know, we'll just head for a pee okay and then we'll take you home. I think you're a bit too drunk to party any longer."
You scoffed by his words when they stood up from the tree stump and you reached down in your pocket to give him something.
"Be safe." You mumbled and smacked the condom against his chest, and his eyes widened. He rolled his eyes by your drunken state and walked over the stump to head towards the toilets, and you watched as he looked over his shoulder.
"Stay here!" He mouthed and you shook your head cocky which made him roll his eyes and turn around, heading towards the bathroom to take a pee with Zoey.
"Stay here? Like I'm gonna walk away." You mumbled to yourself and laughed when you found the hidden alcohol behind the stump, and filled three shots in front of you.
"To Matty and Zoey." You said to yourself and cheered the glass towards the direction they headed, drowning it.
"To myself." You lifted the next shot in the air and drowned it less than seconds after and you could feel your head spinning by the amount of alcohol.
"And..." You stopped in track to look at the last shot glass on your lap. Reaching down for it you studied it carefully in your hand and moved it up to your lips.
"To... Luke." You paused with a smirk, rolling your eyes and drowned the last shot. You grabbed onto the tree stump to stabilize yourself, make sure that you wouldn't fall behind and crash onto the otherwise soft cold dark green grass.
"Speaking of which." You furrowed your eyebrows while taking a deep breath from the shot, and your eyes glanced around confused until an idea appeared in your mind.
"Of course." You laughed by your own slurs and shook your head before you reached down in your pocket to fish up your phone.
"God why do I still have this number." You mumbled to yourself when you landed on the searched contact in your contact list. You shook your head at yourself and moved the phone up to your ear, waiting for the beeps to stop.
Your whole body froze when the beeps ended, the sound of shuffling coming from the other end of the phone. Your breath hitched in your throat and your whole body shook when someone cleared their throat.
"Is this a butt dial?" Luke asked from the other end, his voice sounding so unfamiliar even though you heard him speak twice a week during math.
You looked down at the bonfire for what felt like a minute, not really knowing what to say or what to do. You didn't know what the intention of this call was, the alcohol in your veins was controlling everything even your mind.
"Y/N, are you okay?" Luke asked with a hint of worry in his voice by your silence. You nodded your head agreeing even though he couldn't see you and cleared your throat.
"I am so drunk right now." Was the only thing you managed to say before you fell backwards on the stump, a squeal coming from you instantly.
"Ow." You whined and moved your hand up to your face, touching the tender spot.
"Y/N what just happened?" Luke questioned confused and you heard shuffle appear as background noise.
"I just realized something!" You admitted with enthusiasm in your voice, furrowing your eyebrows by the vision of blood on your fingers.
"Continue." Luke requested, not quite catching up with what was going on around you.
"That if you lose something you love, build a bridge and get over it. And that is what I have done right now. Dealing with the fact that the two of us wouldn't be together was the worse decision I ever took in my life and I honestly think that this will be the better for us. Like I can fall down from a tree stump, cause an abrasion in my face and not having to worry about anything because you aren't here to make me realize the reality of life."
"Wait, you hit your head?" Luke asked, fainting out everything else you just admitted to him in your drunken state. "Where are you and why does it sound like you're alone?"
"Oh, I am not alone, far from it." You admitted with a chuckle, looking around at the students sitting by the bonfire as well. This place was filled and to be honest you couldn't remember a single face from here. Might as well be sophomores doing a crime scene by drinking under the legal age.
"Where's Matty?"
"I don't know. Fucking Zoey I guess." You shrugged your shoulder and grasped some of the grass in your hands. You heard Luke curse on the other end of the phone before a sound of a door opened and you heard footsteps walk down a porch.
"I'm coming for you okay. I assume you are at the bonfire party like the rest of the school right now?"
It was only a mix of non-understanding mumbles that left your lips in response, your eyes switching between being open and closed. You didn't even register any of what Luke was saying on the other side of the phone before you went into a dazed drunken slumber.
Luke furrowed his eyebrows in confuse when he parked his car, rolling his eyes when Michael and Calum walked excitedly out as well.
"This is like being back at high school again." Michael exclaimed and clapped his hands together, swung an arm around Calum and followed Luke into the woods.
"Remind me again why I brought you guys along." Luke mumbled almost irritated, rolled his eyes by the two behind him and furrowed his eyebrows. He never expected so many people to be here, some being familiar faces while some others were people he had never seen before.
"Mr. Hemmings!"
Luke stopped in track by the sound of his name, his eyes shutting in annoyance and his jaw clenching. Just the voice of Brittany's made him want to turn around and leave the second she ran up to him.
"What are you doing here?" She giggled while fooling around with a beer in her hand, her eyes widening when she noticed Michael and Calum behind him.
"And you brought friends." She exclaimed with wide eyes, changing her tone into a seduce one and leaned forward towards Michael.
"What kind of finch are you?" Michael grinned and looked down at her with a wink, clearly not catching up with the death glare Luke was sending him in plead.
He reached forward and grabbed Michael by his red flannel, rolled his eyes and pulled him away from Brittany, "Student, Michael. Enough said."
"What!" Michael exclaimed almost insulted and laughed loudly at Luke. "You can date a student but I can't?" He questioned, trying to catch up with the blond haired boy's long steps.
"Could – past tense, Michael." Luke answered quietly and didn't want to look over his shoulder and kept on walking. He squeezed his eyes to try see if he could spot you anywhere and when he noticed Matty's mock of curly hair he hurried towards him and Zoey with the boys in his heels.
"Luke!" Matty exclaimed with wide eyes, coughing lightly by the sudden sight of Luke.
"Y/N called me." Was the only thing Luke breathed and Matty nodded his head understanding. He knew you would do it at some point so it didn't come as a shock to him. He didn't even want to stop you if he could. He knew that this would be the best for you, to talk everything through with Luke. But maybe not in your rather drunken state.
"Where is she?"
Matty furrowed his eyebrows confused and looked towards the tree stump you had been sitting at, his eyes showing clear confuse when you weren't in sight. "She was sitting there minutes ago!"
They all followed each other towards the bonfire and that was when Luke noticed your tiredly drunken state lying in the grass, a drop of blood streaming down from your forehead.
"So much for drinking fucking vodka to get over her sorrows." Matty mumbled under his breath and watched as Luke lifted you up in her arms.
"Are her parents home?" He questioned and secured you in his arms.
"No..." Matty responded followed by a sigh. "Please just take her home and promise me one thing."
Luke furrowed his eyebrows by Matty's request and nodded his head for him to continue.
"Please don't give her any sort of expectations. I can't t watch her go through everything from hell like she has the past three weeks. It's not worth it Luke and you both know it. You broke up for a reason. Don't ever forget that."
Luke nodded his head agreeing to Matty's words before following Calum and Michael towards the car. With the help from them he secured you in the backseat, took a seat on the available spot next to you and allowed Calum to drive all the way home to their shared apartment.
The lights from his living room was bright in his face when they all walked into his apartment, and he carefully placed you down on his couch. He accepted the bucket Calum had already found in the kitchen in case of you puking and he placed it on the floor next to you.
"We're just gonna head up and play some games. Join if you feel like it." Calum whispered before pointing up towards the stairs and Luke nodded his head with a small smile. He watched Cal and Michael disappear up the stairs and silence fell completely upon the living room.
Luke took a seat on the couch carefully, sitting by your feet and drew a blanket over your almost unconscious body. He didn't expect you to wake up but when your eyes fluttered open and looked up at him confused he lost his breath.
"How are you feeling?" He asked, not really knowing what to say. This was the first actual conversion between you after your breakup.
A small whine escaped your lips, "I think I'm in a mix of a horrible hungover and still being drunk." You whimpered and pressed your cheek against the cold pillow next to you.
"Well Matty said you almost drank a bottle of vodka for yourself." Luke stated and moved your legs up so he could rest underneath them. You nodded your head agreeing and shut your eyes, trying to block out the spinning that was taking over your vision.
He moved his hand forward to move away the blood on your cheek, checking the small cut in case it needed alcohol to clean.
"How have you been?" You managed to ask and squeezed your eyes to focus on him.
He shifted in his seat with a sigh, and didn't really know what to respond. "I've been having a hard time I must admit." He said quietly and fiddled with the blanket. "I have been staying a lot at the gym. Used more time studying for my exams at the academy. Spent major of my time with Calum and the boys." He nodded his head towards the stairs and you sighed softly.
"What about you?" He questioned and rested his arm on the couch cushion.
"It's been tough.. More than I expected it would." You mumbled softly and placed your blanket up to your chin. Luke nodded his head agreeing and looked out at the window, the only source of light being the lamppost by the street.
"It really has been." He nodded in agreement again and ran a hand through his hair.
"Why did you take me home? I mean, since we're not together any longer."
He looked down at your question while biting his lip, fiddling with his hands and shifted in his seat again, "I don't really know. I just want to make sure that you're okay even if you aren't mine."
You nodded your head silently and took a look around. Even if it had been three weeks since the last time you was here everything was so familiar. A little bit messy from last time but having the same smell and the rock magazines resting on his coffee table.
"So I'm allowed to stay here for the night?" You asked quietly and looked up at him with tired eyes. He nodded his head in agreement and clapped you on your knee, "Of course, Y/N."
He secured the blanket around you and stood up from the couch. "The bucket is there if you need it." He whispered and walked behind the couch, heading towards the kitchen to turn off the lights. But he stopped in track when you made a small sound to catch his attention.
"Luke?" You questioned even though you couldn't see him from your position. A small hum from him came in response.
"Do you mind if I ask you to stay here."
He smiled softly by your question and removed himself from the door frame. Heading back to you he took a seat on the couch square across from you and wrapped a blanket around him.
"Of course I don't. Just tell me if you need anything and I'll assist."
For the first time a small smile appeared on your lips and you shut your eyes tiredly, not wanting to deal with the hungover that was gonna overwhelm you the morning after.