Warning: you're going to need tissues for this one
Dearest Alexander
I'm not even sure why I'm writing this. You'll never read this. You'll never get to see my amazing calligraphy that I've been dying to try out on you. You probably don't even know I'm writing this, wherever you're to. But I'm going to write it anyway. At least it'll make one of us feel better.
Things aren't the same without you around. The house is more quiet. Nighttime is lonely. Hell, even the daytime is lonely too. Everyday normal things seem boring without you here to make it more interesting. Like vacuuming. You used to hum a tune or whistle while you worked. Even though I insisted on using magic to get things done, you always went ahead and did it anyway. That's what I loved about you. You were stubborn.
Poor Chairman is lost without you. I think you were the only person who was actually able to scratch his belly without getting the death bite. Now he just wanders aimlessly around the house, meowing at all the places where you used to be. Sometimes he even sits in your spot on the couch and stays there until he feels like moving. The poor thing. I doubt he even knows what's going on. All he knows is that something is missing. I honestly don't blame him.
Remember when we went for drinks on our first date? I knew right away that you weren't accustomed to drinking. Every sip you took you made a sour face. I pretended not to notice. I was genuinely surprised when you finished the whole glass and got really giggly afterwards. Your face even turned red at some point. It was very endearing and adorable. Even when I offered to take you home, you were dead set on staying with me for the night. I guess you were too embarrassed to go back to the institute drunk. You fell asleep on the bed curled up like a cat and that's the night I discovered you suffered from nightmares.
Now at this point you're probably rolling your eyes and about to say that you don't have nightmares but I know you, Alec. I've watched you sleep, as creepy as that sounds. I can't even begin to count how many times I've seen you grip the sheets and saw your knuckles go white. You began to sweat and breathe heavily and at some point you moaned in some kind of unknown pain. Sometimes you even said someone's name. Jace. Isabelle. Max. Me. It took a few minutes before I could calm you down using a spell, but once I did, you went right into a peaceful sleep.
I miss our cuddle sessions; the ones where we sit down together and just talk about anything that came to our minds. My fingers would mindlessly twirl a strand of your beautiful black hair as you talked. I loved listening to you. Your voice was so deep and beautiful. It was impossible to get tired of listening to someone with a voice as beautiful as yours. Impossible. It used to upset me when you stopped talking because for the most part, I didn't want you to stop. You could talk all day and I wouldn't mind it one bit.
I guess the point of this letter is that I miss you. I think of you everyday and not a day goes by where I wish you were still here. Life isn't the same without you, Alexander Lightwood. You brightened up my life the moment you stepped into it. You made it easier to breathe. Now that you're gone....well, breathing hasn't been as easy as it used to be.
I still visit your grave from time to time. It's been a while since my last visit, but I promise to come see you soon. I've got a few stories of our sons that I think you'll find funny. They miss their dad just as much as I do, if not even more.
Wherever you are right now, Alec, I hope you found peace and happiness, because I know you've given me both and so much more.
With much love
Magnus Lightwood-Bane