Matty leaned his body against the doorframe to the classroom, a question lingering on his tongue. Luke was hovering over the table with a hand resting in his hair, his eyes focused on the work in front of him.
Sighing softly, Matty removed himself from the blue moldings to knock lightly on the open door, Luke instantly lifting his head by the sudden noise.
At first his eyebrows furrowed, expecting it to someone else but when he noticed Matty he looked back at his papers with soft eyes. "Hey Matty."
"Hey Luke." Matty replied quietly and held onto his school bag while walking into the classroom. It was pure empty, almost too silent for Matty's liking. He preferred the small sounds of people whispering, the eraser running up and down the paper and Luke's voice filling the whole room.
There was at least 20 minutes until class would start, but for once Matty wanted to meet earlier than usually. He had been walking around with some thoughts that he needed to sort out. Thoughts that were hunting him down along with the sight of you resting in your bed and not getting out. It had been like this for days.
"So I came here to talk about last Friday." He announced. Luke stopped in track, his pencil still hovering over the paper while his eyes froze on one spot in the classroom.
"It's gonna be a long morning then." Luke grumbled with a tired voice, the tempting choice of knocking off every single thing that was on his desk while he stood up from his chair and adjusted his tie.
"You know I'm not here to be Y/N's pigeon and I know there are two sides to how this night ended but I need to be 100% sure. I mean, she hasn't been in school for almost five days, I'm not even sure if she shows up today even though her and Rebecca are supposed to present their project. All I've heard from her is single texts, one worded lines and nothing else but that. Goddammit Luke, she doesn't even want me to visit her, she has never in her life acted like this before!"
Matty's tone rose by each word that left past his lips, his eyebrows furrowing and Luke clenched his jaw.
"Because I screwed up, Matty!" He yelled back and with force hammered the palms of his hands on top of his papers, "I screwed up so badly I left my drunk sad girlfriend at a 21+ club in favor for my ex-girlfriend who was drunkenly falling into bushes, puked all over my carpet at home and couldn't remember a single thing the morning after!"
"Yes I'm here to find a solution to why the hell you did that! The second Y/N told me over a fucking text that you had left her for another girl I was stunned, but not in the good way! I was shocked, sitting with my mouth open for minutes." Matty placed his bag on top of the table he usually sat at before storming towards Luke's desk and leaned in front of it.
"Because I was trying to clear up a mistake that shouldn't have happened in the first place!" Luke rushed towards the door to the classroom, smacked it shut to prevent anyone from eavesdropping what they were discussing. "I know that it all made me seem like a complete idiot towards Y/N, but it wasn't my intention at all!"
"Why the hell did you do it, Luke?" Matty asked desperate, wanting him to speak up already instead of pacing around with profanities leaving his lips.
"Because Meredith witnessed Y/N and I kiss! That's it, my ex-girlfriend who happens to work at the same place as I do, witnessed the one fucking rule that you're not supposed to break as a teacher working with teenagers and kids!" Luke was breathing heavily while speaking and Matty's eyes widened in shock by his sudden statement.
"She could spill the beans every second, she could use it against me or even worse she could tell the principal, the academy and I would lose everything I've worked so hard for, for three years now Matty! And it's the reason why I took her home! Not because I wanted to hurt Y/N, no because I wanted to break the loyalty between us and definitely not to cheat on her! I did it to remind Meredith every third minute after we came home that it wasn't Y/N she saw, but the mystery girl I've been dating for the past months. I did it to make sure that when she woke up in the morning she wouldn't remember a single thing and I could continue my life without having to fear that she would spoil anything! I even made her sleep on my fucking couch!"
Luke stopped to take a deep breath, his hands grasping onto the rack of the chair he had been sitting at. His vein was prominent on his neck along with a rosy color that infected because of his furious outburst.
"That was one upcoming problem that I could delete from my mind. Then I realized the actual problem I had caused the second I took the decision to take her home." He looked up from staring down at his desk to look at Matty.
"I've texted Y/N, I've called her but she rejects me. Blocks me out. Doesn't want anything to do with me. I've only received one text from her which consisted 'I'm fine' and I know that in girl world that means the complete opposite. I don't even know what happened after I left, she doesn't want to tell me!"
"She walked home on her own." Matty responded with disappointment in his voice.
"She walked alone all the way from The Vibe?! That's at least two miles from her house and the time was past three am?! Matty where the hell were you?" Luke asked furious and looked at the curly haired lad who all of the sudden presented himself as nervous, clutching onto his bag for dear life.
"I uh- I went home with a girl I met at the club." Matty's neck and the rest of his face went red by admitting it, his hazel eyes looking anywhere else than on Luke.
"But I expected Y/N to go home with you, that's the reason why I decided to do what I did! If I knew the second that she had to find home on her own in darkness where creepy guys hang around in the corners I would never have gone home with another girl!"
Luke grabbed his chair to almost stabilize himself, his face pale just by the thought of you walking home on your own. He couldn't stand it, "Nothing happened to her, right?" He ran a hand through his dirty blond locks and looked up at Matty with hopeful eyes.
"I don't think so. " Matty responded quietly and fiddled with his fingers.
"I can't even bare the thought of it if something happened to her because of me. It's enough that I took Meredith home, if someone did anything to her I would never forgive myself." Luke spoke with a quiet voice, finally seeming to calm down from his furious stage.
A knock from the door made both boys turn their direction towards the door handle moving.
Luke couldn't believe his own eyes when you walked inside timidly, having your hair up in a bun and clutching onto the huge grey sweatshirt you were wearing. You looked miserable and much more than just when you were on your period. This was something huge and Luke stood up from his chair the second you walked fully into the classroom.
"I'll leave you two alone." Matty mumbled awkwardly before stumbling towards the door, closing it quietly after he walked out.
"Hi." Luke said with a soft quiet tone and stood up from his chair. He had no idea what to do with himself in this situation. Should he walk forward and kiss you? Was he even allowed to do that? Was a small hug acceptable? The question was floating around in his mind like waves crashing ashore.
"Hey." You mumbled back carefully, keeping a bit distant of him, standing the exact same spot Matty had been standing at minutes ago. You leaned your back against the wall and looked down at your feet, a shaky breath escaping your lips.
"Y/N I am so incredibly sorry you have no idea, I-" Luke stopped in track when you held your hand up, interrupting him and wanting him to stop already.
"I heard everything you said outside on the hallway." You mumbled shyly and nodded your head towards the door. "Everything you said to Matty, the reason why you took Meredith home and acted as you did. I know eavesdropping isn't alright but I couldn't help myself in that situation. I needed to hear it."
Luke felt somehow relieved to hear you had been eavesdropping, his heart skipping a beat.
"But we still need to talk about it. After being home alone for days I've been thinking a lot and trying to deal with this on my own."
Luke grabbed his chair with curious eyes. A gutted feeling ran past his spine, especially because you weren't having any emotion on your face. You only kept your eyes on your feet, occasionally looking up at him while speaking.
"Talk then. We still have a few minutes left before math starts." He encouraged.
You took a deep breath and fiddled your fingers together.
"After seeing you at the club I realized many things in just one night. It didn't really help with the alcohol in my veins and I was a lot more emotional that night that I should have but I can't change the past. It's the past and shouldn't be the presence."
You carefully walked towards the front row of tables, brushed your fingers over the wooden surface and took a seat on the table right in front of Luke's desk.
"I realized that we are in two way different stages of life. That even though we don't mind the year gap, we still live our lives differently. I saw you having fun, fool around with your friends and drinking beers without having to care about me or think about me. And that somehow felt really good to witness but it was also somehow a knife to my chest. Not because I don't want you to have fun with your friends but because you can't be with me when your friends are around. The last couple of days I've come to realize that we don't have any future even though we don't care about it. But in the end the future is important and ours is the road that leads to nowhere. And I wish us both to be really happy."
You paused to let a shaky breath escape your lips and tears pricking in your eyes. Trying to brush it off you calmed yourself but it didn't really help when you looked up at Luke.
"Please don't do this, Y/N." He whispered above a breath, his eyes red.
"We have to and I can tell you are aware of it as well, Luke. You know that even though I love you, and you love me, we can't be together. It's too risky, it's so wrong and we both have to bend our morals to be together. It was fun at the beginning, it was new and it was risky but now... All I see are these horrible bombs that keep getting thrown in between us."
"I understand what you're saying, I really do. But that doesn't mean I agree." Luke shook his head with a shaky breath and looked out at the window. He couldn't even look at you. He knew that would be enough and he would have to stand in front of a full class within minutes.
"I know and I respect that and there are always two to a breakup. But since you say you understand you must know why I'm taking this decision and doing what I'm doing right now." You copied him and looked out at the window, the boring weather reflecting in your eyes.
"So this is it? This is our breakup?" He asked, wanting the words to leave your lips. He needed confirmation in this.
You couldn't even get yourself to say it. You simply nodded your head and looked down at your feet with your shoulders shaking.
"Can I- Can I at least hug you for the last time?" Luke asked hesitating with a shaky voice. You nodded your head agreeing, allowing him to burry you into his chest. One hand found your shoulder and the other wrapped inside your hair, your bodies swaying together slowly.
That was it. You allowed the tears to fall down your cheeks, drippling onto Luke's baby blue dress shirt but you didn't care and neither did he. You needed to get all these emotions out of your body to survive the rest of the day. To survive the next couple of days. To survive the next many weeks until the exam was near.
"I love you, Y/N." He pulled away to look down at you, his cheeks flushed and his eyes clear red now but he held in the tears.
His thumb came down to wipe away the tears, caressed his hand down your cheekbone until he came to your neck.
"I love you too, Luke." You whispered above your breath, your whole body shaking as you pulled away from him and headed towards your usual table. You used an old tissue from your pocket to dry away the tears that cornered your eyes and cheeks, wishing that it would only look like some type of allergy instead of you actually crying.
Luke went back to his table and deep sighs escaped his lips. He didn't even know what to do with himself at this point. The tempting choice of knocking every single object on his table came back to his mind but held it in.
Within a minute, students started to walk into the classroom, Matty being the first one with desperate eyes. The second he felt the tension in the room he knew what had happened and instead of doing anything, knowing it would only trigger your cries he sat beside you and smiled softly. A hug would be too much and he knew it.
When the class was filled up Luke stood up from his chair awkwardly with no expression on his face. He was clueless to what in the world was going on around him. He was clearly living in his own mind and almost stumbled into his chair when he headed towards the blackboard to grab some chalk.
"Okay guys, let's see your projects that you have prepared either in groups or as solo." He looked down confused with the chalk in his hand, clearly not knowing why the hell he stood up to grab it in the first place.
Walking back to his chair he took a look at the list resting next to his laptop, showing the groups and called up the first two names. Two boys rose up from their seats with their own computer in their hands, walked up to Luke and made themselves ready for their presentation.
"Hey..." Matty said quietly and caressed your arm softly, "You okay?"
"Does it look that bad?" You whispered and let out a shaky breath.
"I think you look amazing no matter what." He whispered back and removed a strand of hair fallen in front of your eyes. You simply nodded your head and looked down at the table, too sad and out of function to even answer his compliment.
The door to the classroom was rushed open, making all students including Luke look towards it, seeing Meredith walk inside with her curly hair in her face.
"I'm so sorry I'm late my car went out of gas halfway over here." She exclaimed and moved her hair away from her face with one hand, showing her rosy cheeks probably from running. "I didn't interrupt a presentation, did I?
It was like a jolt of thunder went past your spine by the sight of her. You felt a gutted feeling in your stomach, your breathing quickened. You couldn't do this. You couldn't be here for 140 minutes. It was too long and killing you just by sitting at this chair.
The tears were already welling your eyes and you stood up from your chair in a hurry, knocking it down to the floor and clearly causing a scene but you didn't care. At all. You needed to get out and away, away from everything that was going on and reminding you of the awful feeling you were having last time you saw her. The way Luke had scooped her in his arms and letting her sleep at his place. It was all too much.
Luke's mouth went dry as he watched you sprint out of the classroom, his whole body shaking with adrenaline and looked at the door as you smacked it closed after running out.
"Matty," He cleared his throat to prevent his voice from breaking, "Please go check if Y/N is alright."
Matty hurried up from his chair by Luke's request, looking deeply sorry at him when he walked past the table, noticing the small tear falling from the corner of Luke's eye as he tried desperately not to show it.
This was gonna be so hard and the both of you knew it.