You watched as the scenery passed by in a blur of greens and occasionally yellows and oranges. Be it any other occasion you would feel calm and it would only manage to make you relax even more. Especially with Dean being the one sitting next to you. You'd occasionally glance at him and you could really not help a small smile from being on your lips. It wasn't often that you got to see that genuine bright smile on his face with all the worries he had and actually seeing it meant a lot to you. He looked so carefree, as if he had no worries in the world, and at the same time so young. You would have loved to know him when he was younger so much. But even now you could not complain. He had the heart of a five-year-old.
When he caught your eyes on him he'd turn his head to look at you and the smile would immediately turn into a smirk as he threw you a wink. The only thing you did was roll your eyes at him and turn your head the other way so that he would not notice the blush or smile that was on your lips. He would chuckle at you, extending one hand over your shoulders and making you lean in so that he would place a kiss on the side of your head.
"Eyes on road Winchester" you'd say, taking off his hand over your shoulders and making him focus on the road more than you.
Although, truth be told, you didn't want it. You loved it when he showed you all this attention, it made you feel special and for a moment you forgot that you were only friends. It was sad but it was the truth. Even if the gesture was just a simple way for him to show to you how he felt, you knew it was strictly friendly. It was how Dean acted, you should just get used to it. You actually would not help the butterflies that danced like crazy in your stomach but you only tried to push the feelings away. Dean and you were only friends. He saw you as only a friend but nothing more. You just should not let your feelings get in the way.
Dean would just shake his head at you, mumbling something under his breath and turning the volume of the music higher. AC/DC was blasting through the speakers and you caught yourself letting a small giggle as he played drums on the steering wheel.
'Driver picks the music, shotgun shuts his cakehole' he had told you the first time you had gotten into his car and rode with him. He did pick the music. Always. Unless of course Mary was in the car. Just a small 'please' from her in combination with puppy eyes that, as Dean had told you, were the outcome of her time with her uncle, Dean's brother, Sam and Dean would go all mushy and do whatever she wanted. And in that case was her picking the music. Just like this time. Yes, she was the one that had picked AC/DC. Not him. Well, the first time that was a surprise but what could you do? She was the daughter of the one and only Dean Winchester. You could not expect less.
As soon as you were sure Dean was not looking at you though, all attention on playing drums and singing with the company of Mary in the backseat (although she mostly mumbled what she thought the lyrics said), you went back to sneaking glances at him. You felt a warm feeling spread all over you, and it was not attributed to the sun that shone over the car as you rode. No it certainly was not that. You felt your heart beat in that weird way of its, inside your chest and you instantly knew what it was. You allowed yourself to smile as you looked between Dean and Mary as they both oh so happily jammed to the classic rock music, a rather proud smile on Dean's face that made you feel even more warm on the inside.
All of this brought back memories of when you three would ride to some trip either on the woods or by the beach a little further away. These exact smiles would be every time on their faces. Sometimes you played hard to get, that you were not in the mood for a trip but truth was that you looked forwards to them every second weekend. The unexpected ones where just as much welcomed as Dean would just come over, ring your bell and tell you that he and Mary were going to a theme park that had opened nearby and needed more company. Sometimes you wanted him to plead a little for you but just after a few seconds you would give in. Because truth be told it just made you feel as if you were a family. A happy one at that, a loving one that went on trips to spend some more time together.
Pure happiness was the only word that came to your mind as you remembered all those times. The smiles and giggles of Mary when you went to that circus once, or her wide eyes when you visited a zoo and she looked at the tigers in wonder claiming she wanted to get one as a pet- you really did not want to get started with Dean's reaction because she actually did mean it and would not stop asking him to. You had been laughing for the rest of the ride back home. And then of course was one of your favorites. The weekend spent at the small cabin in the woods. It was one Dean had rented from a friend of his just for the two of you. It was around winter and that along with the snow outside, hot cocoa and eatingmarshmallows by the fireplace as you were wrapped in blankets was one of the best things. That oh and of course the stories Dean would tell you of his adventures with his younger brother. You remember how Mary had fallen asleep after a while in your arms and after you put her to sleep you and Dean stayed up for the rest of the night, talking about everything and everyone. It almost reminded you of that first night you met him. Almost.
You were brought out of your daydreaming as you felt the Impala come to a halt. You blinked several times, panic almost rising in your chest that you had already arrived at your home. However you felt yourself letting out a small sigh of reliefas you noticed that it was the house of Dean's parents as he was just about to drop Mary to her grandparents.
"Wait I'll come to help you" you said, getting out of the car just as Dean did. You unbacked Mary from her seat and took her in your arms, closing the door of the car behind you. You fixed a little her hair and she smiled at you as you kissed her cheek.
"Alright-" Dean said slamming the car truck shut, quickly coming to your side; big pink bag with Mary's things in hand.
"I'll just go drop her at mom, you can wait here or-" he took Mary in his arms "-hey, if you want to you can come. Mom would love to finally meet you" a smile covered his lips at the idea of you meeting her.
"Wait- finally? You mean you- you have talked to her about me?" you breathed out in disbelief.
Sure Dean had told you a lot of things about his mother, even his father and brother. You knew a lot about him so that meant about his family and friends as well, some of whom you had met on your own. But you had never imagined he had actually talked about you to them. His mother above all. It made your heart beat in that weird way of its and warmth spread through your entire body as you could hardly fight a smile. There was a small spark of hope inside you that said that this could mean a lot.
"Hells yeah! She practically knows everything about you! She's even been bugging me to get you to her so that she'd finally get to meet you!" he said with a wide smile.
"Whow Dean I- I don't know" you muttered.
"Come on, just to say hi. We are not going to stay for long anyway, we need to leave asap for your place" he tried to convince you.
But the thought of meeting his mother alone scared the hell out of you. It just made this all too formal and at the same time... real. And you knew you were not. You were only friends with Dean and although meeting his mother meant nothing about that you just could not help the feeling so instead-
"No, Dean. Probably another time. If I come she may want us to stay a little and we do need to get at my home as fast as possible" you never thought would come the day you said you wanted to get to your home as soon as possible instead of spending time with Dean's mother who happened to be the sweetest person in the world, as far as you had heard.
He sighed a little sadly "I guess you're right. Alright then, wait here and I'll be back quickly"
You nodded your head at him "Ok. Bye bug. See you in a few days, love you" you said to Mary, kissing her cheek and she let a small giggle.
Dean chuckled and turned to make his way to his parents' house. Mary looked at you over her father's shoulder, waving her small hand as you did the same with her.
You leaned against the Impala, hugging your jacket close to yourself and letting out a small sigh. You watched as Dean walked up the few stairs and rang the doorbell. He waited a little and after a few seconds the door swung open and a woman, his mother, stepped out of it. She had the brightest smile you had ever seen and you could now finally tell whom Dean had inherited his from. She had long blonde hair that matched that of Mary's and you could actually spot a lot of similarities. No wonder seeing at how Dean looked so much like her. You watched them chat a little as she took Mary's bag and gave her granddaughter a kiss on the cheek. Little Mary smiled widely at her and as she said something to her with a small smirk you saw how excitement washed over her face and she immediately ran away from Dean's hands and inside the house.
'Come on! Not even a goodbye kiss to daddy?!' you could faintly hear Dean say as he obviously shouted after at her.
You saw him shake his head and ran his fingers through his hair. Mary chuckled as well and you saw them talk a little more, not being able to hear any of the things they said. You saw her ruffle his short hair a little as she laughed at him, leaning in to kiss his cheek. Dean made a rather grossed out face, wiping his cheek oh so dramatically. She shook her head at him as she said something more. You saw Dean speak back and look at you as he motioned with his hand. Your back immediately straightened as you felt yourself tense up when Mary's eyes fell on you. You bit your lower lip as you saw her eyes study you, but a wide smile spread on her lips as she waved happily at you. You didn't really know what to do, so you just waved back at her. You could not help but get a little bashful.
You let a small breath you didn't know you'd been holding when she turned to look at Dean. You saw he speak with him, occasionally glancing at you which made you still be a little tense. You saw Dean roll his eyes. He said a few things to her as she did. They hugged and once they pulled away, she pecked his cheek. He smiled at her anyway, obviously saying goodbye and waving at her. She turned to look at you, waving in goodbye and you did the same.
"You ready?" Dean's voice made you turn your head away from his mother.
"Yeah" you nodded your head and made your way to your seat as did Dean.
You both got in but you could not help but look at her as she stood for a little while at the door smiling at you. Only when she got inside, did you turn to look at Dean. You saw him be a little grumpy and frowned at his behavior.
"What did you say?" you could not help but ask.
"Oh nothing, just chatted up a little bit. Asked how long I'd be gone and where were we going and such" he shrugged.
"Did you tell her about...?" you trailed off.
"No, no. Too long story after all" he shook his head.
"But you did talk about me, didn't you?" you asked hesitantly.
"Uh yeah yeah, she was pretty happy to put a face to the name. She said to tell you hi, by the way, and-" he unexpectedly leaned in and pecked your cheek "-to give you a kiss" he winked at you with a cheeky grin that got wider as he saw you blush. You could hardly contain your eyes from widening as well.
"Oh" was really the only thing you could say.
"Yep" Dean said speeding away "Also, said you look pretty and smart"
"Oh. Oh, that is really sweet of her to-" you could not finish your sentence as Dean added.
"Which also explains why you are not with me" he concluded and you really felt your eyes widen.
You clapped a hand over your mouth and Dean turned to look at you "Come on, go ahead. I won't blame you" he said and you did.
You did burst into laughter as Dean only pursed his lips, shaking his head.
"Oh. My. Gosh!" you breathed out in between laughing, you almost kicked your feet a hand drapped over your mouth and another over your stomach that had began to hurt from all the laughing.
"Yeah yeah funny. Very funny" Dean rolled his eyes, shaking his head.
"Oh gosh! Your own mother said this? Man stop the car! I need to go back to congratulate her!" you said laughing hard.
"Ha ha very funny (Y/n), yeah. You and her would really be best friends now that I think about it" he grumbled.
"Aw come on Dean. It's just-" you snickered "-it's funny cause it's true" and you burst into laughter and Dean rolled his eyes at you oh so dramatically.
A loud groan left his lips "Fucking great" he grumbled to himself as he pressed his foot more on the petal, speeding up to your house.
~*~
Your laughter could hardly be contained during the ride and you could clearly see Dean trying to keep himself from laughing as well. It actually brought back some memories and he started telling you different stories that only made you laugh more. Dean chuckled to himself as well, shaking his head but what you loved more was how his eyes shone so brightly. They had a spark in them that made your heart beat in that weird way that you had long ago gotten used to.
Your laughter was cut short, though, the second you noticed your house in the distance all the more approach. You dreaded the second you would step out of the car and go there. It was almost evening so you knew that only meant that you would have dinner with them and not just go, say hi and then go to bed. The nightmares would come before that, you were sure. A completely uncomfortable feeling creeped up your throat and you shifted in your seat. It was not just because of the fear of what your parents would say this time but what you were going to do this time. Not only had you been used every time to listening to them talk non-stop about your love life like they owned it but also had managed to put up with it. While now- well, now that was not going to be the case. Now you should get used to something completely different. And that was pretending to be in a relationship with Dean.
While that could not be hard on its own. The fact that you actually had feelings for the man and did not want to let anything slip in fear or ruining your friendship made everything seem impossible to manage. How were you going to let him be so close to you - because he'd have to - touch you, be affectionate and sweet, compliment you, show he loves you and in general act like a boyfriend to you - all of the things you'd wanted for so long - without letting anyone realize anything? But above all, how were you going to do all that to him without letting it show how you really felt, especially to Dean?
As you thought of that, the option of showing up all alone seemed all the more tempting. But you just did not have any more time.
As if out of reflex your hand snapped to his side and took hold of his, giving him a squeeze as if to comfort yourself.
Dean turned his head to look at you with worry in his eyes, the car slowing down "I'm taking it that's you house huh?" he asked and you turned to look at him. You gave him a small nod.
"If you want to, we can stay a little while here till you're ready" he offered.
"Can we not go there at all?" you asked hopefully.
He chuckled softly, giving you hand a squeeze "Don't think so princess" he said in a low voice.
You nodded your head, swallowing "I thought so. Well, better get over with this as soon as possible" you said the last part mostly to yourself.
"Hey" Dean squeezed your hand to make you look at him "I'm not that bad of a fake boyfriend, you know" he let a small chuckle as if to lighten the mood.
"I hope so" you let a breathless laugh and only looked at him.
Dean did not say anything, only looked back at you. His eyes roamed your face as if he was searching for something, a small frown on his face as he still held your hand without noticing it and rubbing his thumb over your palm.
"It's ok. It's gonna be ok, I promise I won't mess up" he whispered.
You smiled faintly "I know you won't Dean. I believe in you... it's me that I am not so sure about" you ended up whispering, looking down at you feet.
Before Dean could say anything more - and he was about to - you cleared your throat and straightened your back, taking in a deep breath.
"Come on. Let's do this" you said determined and Dean nodded his head at you.
A little while after Dean had parked the car and had your luggage in hand you both stood at your doorstep, your hand hovering over the doorbell. Dean looked at you with a frown.
"If you want more time-" but he did not complete his sentence as you shook your head.
"No, no I'm fine. The sooner we get over with this the better" you said taking in a deep breath and ringing the bell.
He did not seem to believe any of the things you said, though, as he took hold of your hand and gave it a squeeze making you turn your head to look at him.
"You'll do great. I know" he comforted you, leaning in to place a soft kiss on your forehead. You had to keep your eyes from widening but it was near impossible. Just like it was impossible to keep the blush away from your cheeks as his face lingered so close to yours. You almost go lost staring into his green eyes that just looked as if they stared deep in your soul, like he could read you. They looked so bright and warm as light shone over them, his freckles even seemed like little stars. Some sparkling and some not as the warm orange light was being casted over you.
Your staring unfortunately had been cut short as you heard footstep nearing the door and soon enough it had swungopen, making you and Dean both straighten your backs and pull away in a second.
"(Y/n)?"