I awoke the next morning to a heavy pounding on the door that had me groaning as I rolled reaching for my mate beside me only to find a long cold empty spot there. Frowning I shot up into a sitting position and scanned the room around me. I couldn’t remember anything last night after throwing myself onto the bed when Aidan had gone to bathe. Looking down I found myself still in my clothes from the night before, and as I looked to the bed beside me I found it still made perfectly from where Aidan had left it the morning before so it was obvious that he had never slept on it. Jumping to my feet I made my way around into the bathroom which I found clean and empty with no traces of having been used that morning. It was at this point that I felt my confusion spike as I scanned the bedroom once more for any kind of note, or anything out of place. The last thing I remembered was Aidan telling me that he loved me so surely he wasn’t angry enough with me to sleep on the couch.
Not one hundred percent sure of that I made my way down the hall into the living room only to find it in the exact same condition I had left it in the night before as well. There was no trace of Aidan anywhere even his scent, though it was still strong, had faded enough to let me know it had been a while since he had been in this room either. My confusion began to edge on panic now as I quickly began to realize my mate was nowhere in this house.
The pounding began on the door once more and I growled to myself as I quickly stalked forward to jerk it open and glare at whoever it was that stood on that door step. I was trying to find out just what the hell was going on, and just where the hell my mate was. I didn’t want to have to deal with company at the same time. My morning just got even more chaotic and confusing when I found my father standing there before me with his heavy arms crossed over his chest as he raised one brow at me. His deep jade colored eyes studied me closely and I saw the swirling traces of anger there that told me I was probably in trouble and truthfully that wasn’t surprising to me but it was the last thing on my mind.
“Hello Zariah.”
“Hi dad.” I said with a nod of respect before peering around him into the driveway where both mine and Aidan’s car sat in the same places. That was the true moment that panic set into me as I turned my back on my father to stalk my way back through the apartment. I searched for any kind of sign that anyone else had been here while I had been sleeping, but surely I hadn’t been sleeping that hard had I? I would have known if my mate was in any kind of danger, and thankfully it was only Aidan’s heavy scent that lingered around me. The only thing I could think of at this point would have been a run, but then if he had simply been going out for a r un his side of the bed wouldn’t have been untouched and there would have been some kind of note letting me know where he was. Aidan never went anywhere without letting me know what was going on.
“Zariah!” My father snapped bringing my attention back to him. I found him hovering in the doorway of our bedroom, glaring at me now as he blocked any chance of escape I would have had. “Have you even been listening to me?!”
“Sorry dad.” I said shaking my head.
“What in the hell have you been doing?! You’ve got your mother so upset and stressed that she won’t eat or sleep. Annalee and Sabian aren’t speaking and you haven’t even bothered to make any kind of contact with any of us in over a week to let us know you are alive.” He demanded.
“What is it that you want from me dad?! It isn’t as though any of you support me in anything. The only reason I ran to begin with was because you all decided to gang up on me! Or had you conveniently forgotten that?” I snapped back. My temper and wolf were on edge, we didn’t like the fact that our mate seemed to be missing one bit. Something felt off, wrong, it suddenly felt like I was missing something very, very big, but for the life of me I couldn’t get my brain to puzzle together just what it was.
“We didn’t gang up on you!”
“The hell you didn’t! You all want to make me feel guilty for having my own mind and being able to make my own decisions while you all choose just to sit in ignorance because it is what is easiest for you!”
“Zariah what are you talking about?! What is it that we don’t know?!” He roared back and I chuckled humorlessly shaking my head as I looked to my father once more locking eyes with him.
“That’s the sad part. None of you can even see what is right in front of you!” I said as I pushed past him now, storming down the hall. I was determined to check the living room once more to see if somehow I had missed something but my father’s words stopped me cold.
“If you’re searching for Aidan he is already gone!”
Freezing to my spot I felt my heart seize in my chest and drop to the pit of my stomach as I turned back to face my furious father once more.
“What do you mean he is already gone?” I murmured shaking my head in confusion.
“He took off early this morning. He crossed the trackers at the border in wolf form heading in the direction of rogues territory.”
“You’re lying!” I said shaking my head as I felt my gut clench and knot up as I felt my chest begin to ache and throb at the sincerity behind my father’s words. It was the only thing that made sense. Why his bed had been untouched, why his scent had already begun fading, why there was no note or anything left behind.
“Why would I lie about this? He finally had enough and decided to try it on his own. It was his choice Zariah none of us made him leave.”
I snarled at that turning on me heel and giving my father my back once more as I stalked toward the front door. A hand caught me by the upper arm and jerked my back to face him.
“What the hell are you doing Zariah?! What has gotten into you?!”
“I’m sorry dad, I really am, but I can’t explain this now.” I pleaded as my wolf whined and whimpered at the thought of out mate abandoning us. Aidan had actually left. He had up and ran and left me behind without word or thought, but that was something that I couldn’t live with. He was my mate dammit! I had been taking care of him for to long for me to just let him walk away from me now!
“I’m with Sabian. I am getting really tired of hearing that Zariah. I am your father I deserve some kind of an answer.”
“And I’ll give you one. All of you one. But there is something that I have to take care of so please just listen to me and let me go. I have to go; he won’t survive out there on his own.”
“Zariah-“ He began but I had had enough talk. I had asked him nicely and at this point I wasn’t going to again. I had to find Aidan whether he approved or not. Tearing out of his grasp I allowed myself to shift and sprint through the front door that had been left open between our arguing.
-******************************* 2 Weeks Later ******************************
Dropping onto the ground below me I let out a deep breath that edged on a whine as I scanned my surroundings once more. In the two weeks I had been managing to track Aidan I hadn’t once come close enough to actually see him. For the last two weeks he had been managing to dodge my every attempt to get him cornered and at this point it was taking its toll on me. I was exhausted, physically and mentally. I knew that he had to be as well, and from the scent of things I knew he had to be injured as well because though the scent of blood was faint in most cases it was still there. It made me all the more desperate to find him. Yes I was exhausted, but above all I missed my mate. It felt like it had been centuries since I had last heard him laugh, seen his smile or his eyes, and even longer since I had actually got to feel his skin against mine. The separation was miserable because by all means we were fully mated in werewolf terms; the only thing he didn’t bear was my mark that would keep us from being able to be separated even in death.
Lifting my head I let out a pleading howl, hoping against hope that just maybe this time I would get an answer. I knew it wasn’t at all likely because I hadn’t gotten one since the day I had first begun racing after him. The one that had told me to turn around and go home, the one that had broken my heart to hear because it only confirmed my suspicion. Even though we were technically already mated it wasn’t recognized before our pack, and as a result he was allowed to reject me in our world and that’s exactly what he was doing.
As I had suspected my howl went unanswered even though I knew he was close enough to have heard it and I whined again burying my snout in my paws. Even at this point he was rejecting me, all I wanted was for him to come and do it to my face, with some kind of explanation just as to why. Why now? After all of this time and after letting me fall so deep that I was no longer sure what I was going to do with myself. I also just wanted him to come home. I would avoid him at all costs if that was what he wanted, but he had to come home where I would always know he was alive and safe because out here was labeled as a rogue and therefore he was fair game for any other wolf, or shifter that he passed and my little mate wasn’t strong enough to take on the world.
Closing my eyes I allowed myself to relax a little bit, knowing that even if I did stop and rest that I would eventually be able to right back on his trail and hopefully this time actually be able to see him. The moment I closed my eyes, however, I immediately felt the others begin to push at my barriers trying desperately even still to reach me.
My family had been pleading with me to come back from the moment I had crossed our borders. Every one of them reached for me, pleading and apologizing, telling me just to come back home where I was safe but I could never bring myself to do it without Aidan so eventually I had just started blocking them out and stopped replying to them all. It was then that Sabian had begun to contact me himself, he had never apologized but he had pleaded with me to come back where I was needed and missed. His voice had been the hardest to ignore out of them all because I loved and missed my brother and best friend long before I had ever left to look for Aidan. I’d wanted nothing more than to reach out and have him reassure me that I could do this and this would work out but that would require me telling him the truth and I knew at that point all hell would break lose all over.
I’d always considered myself stronger than this, with the Alpha blood than ran through me I couldn’t stand to show any signs of weakness, but here I was whining and chasing after Aidan like a love sick puppy. I couldn’t seem to help myself. The ache in my chest at his absence felt like someone had simply reached in and tore my heart clean from chest. It was always there, always aching, and nothing I did ever seem to ease it. It was that ache that kept me pushing and kept me going..
Zariah, whispered the very voice I had been aching to hear through the back of my mind.
Aidan? I called as I lifted my head from my paws and searched around me once more, wondering for a moment if I was possibly just imagining things now.
Why won’t you listen to me? Why do you keep following me? He demanded quietly as he slowly pushed his way out of the surrounding bushes so that he was standing a few feet away now. He sat on his haunches, his fur almost completely brown and matted from all of the running we had been doing and I couldn’t imagine I looked much better.
Why are you running from me? I pleaded as I pushed myself to my feet and took a few steps forward but Aidan immediately shook and backed himself back closer the bush behind him. It was like he had torn my heart out all of again with his actions that spoke louder than words ever could. What did I do Aidan? Please I’m sorry for whatever it was. I love you, you know that I do! I whined as I dropped to my belly once more trying to remain in an unthreatening position.
That isn’t what this is about Zariah.
Then what is it about?!
He remained silent now, simply staring at me for a long stretch of time, and every time I thought I would begin to see the emotions I used to see when he would look at me shining through he would shut it down, so there was nothing in his eyes.
Aidan please- I began once more but he shook his head once more.
Go home Zariah. Go back to your family, to your pack. It’s the only thing you know.
I whined shaking my head, I have told you before Aidan I only want you so please, don’t do this.
Zariah it’s done! Please just go home!
I stared at him for a long time, trying to find some kind of sign that he was lying and that this wasn’t what he really wanted but from what I could see there was none. He watched me and an expression void of emotion at a distance so far that I could even begin to be able to actually feel his emotions. This is what you want? After all of this? After everything I had done for you and everything we feel for each other you are going to just walk away? You are going to reject me?
He didn’t speak this time; instead he simply nodded his head slowly in confirmation. It was at that point that I broke, knowing that it was pointless to try to keep arguing and pleading with him. He had obviously made his decision and he wasn’t going to change his mind or offer any kind of explanation as to why. I wasn’t going to keep trying to get it out of him either. If after everything he decided he didn’t want to be with me then I was just going to have to live with it. Pushing myself to my feet I refused to even meet his gaze as I turned my back on him. Without a word I trotted in the opposite direction we had been going, not really caring at this exact moment whether it was the one to get home just caring that it was the one that would take me away from him.
Throwing my head back I let out a heart broken howl before taking off in a sprint wanting to put as much distance between me and him as possible. The broken howl that answered mine I brushed off, refusing to let it begin to spark any kind of hope that the person who had slowly become my world would ever come back.