~•a week later•~
Well it's been a week without him. Oliver has been bothering me and I can't take that right now. So I've stayed home for the last two days. I'm staring into darkness, and I feel so empty and lost. Were my... our dreams wrong? Maybe I've gotten too fat, too disgusting. I'm too much. I've gotten too clingy. This was.... a mistake... I should've known. The 'I love you's' were lies in the first place. I feel the tears burning my eyes. I feel the triplets start to kick again. "It's okay sweethearts, Mommy's okay." I say. Clearly they know I'm not. At least I still have them right?
I'm so sorry your dad isn't gonna be here. Hopefully i'll be able to give someone else a chance but now or for the next few years is a no. I grab the second pillow I always had for Vic and cuddle up to it. I start to cry into it soaking it with my tears. "Aww Kell," I hear Justin say. "Sorry," I should go somewhere else I attempt to get up, but I was stopped. "It's okay, don't get up. You need some rest Kell." Justin says. "I can't. When I go to sleep I see him. My dreams are filled with him and it hurts me..." I tell him.
"Sleep is good for the babies Kell, and the dreams may bring you happiness." He says. I sigh, sniffling. "Try okay?" He said. "Okay," I close my eyes and almost immediately fall asleep.
•~ {Dream} ~•
Vic and I were happy. My head was on his shoulder, and we were sitting on a bench at the park. I look down to see I have a flat stomach. "Mommy, can you play hide and seek with us?" A little girl ask me. "Sure," I smile and stand up and follow her into the park.
She starts to run so I run after her. "Swings!!" She yells happily. "I thought you wanted to play hide and seek?" I ask her, smiling. "I changed my mind." She smiles. I pick her up and put her in the swing. I start pushing her and we are both laughing and having a great time.
~•{Reality}•~
I open my eyes and just stared at the wall. It's light outside now, I knew it wasn't a good idea to sleep. I miss him... I miss him so fucking much. I'm sure he's not gonna come back though. I wonder where he is.... Why did he leave? I feel the triplets start to kick softly, and I sighed as I feel more tears threaten to spill out my red puffy eyes. I'm so sorry... it's all my fault he's not gonna be here. I feel the tears come pouring out of my eyes and run down my face.
I choke out a sob and clutch my blankets. I felt my phone vibrate. I grabbed it and turned it on seeing I have a text from Justin. All it says is 'Eat' he knows I don't want to... I place my hand on my stomach. Only for you guys.. I manage to pick myself up. I walk downstairs and into the kitchen.
I open the fridge and take out some bologna. I grab some bread from the cabinet and make a sandwich. I walk into the living room and sit down. I eat the sandwich and sit down in silence for a while. It's quiet and I'm too lazy and drained to get up even though I know I'm gonna have to sometime. I hear someone knock on the door. I get up and walk to it.
I open the door to reveal Vic's mom standing there. "Can I come in?" she ask. "Yeah," I step aside to let her in. She walks in and I shut the door behind her. She walks into the living room, I'm right behind her. We sit down on the couch. "How are you?" She ask. "Horrible," I say sitting back. "What have you eaten?" she ask. "Just a bologna sandwich." I say. "That isn't enough food, Dear." she says.
"I haven't been hungry." I say looking down. "You are you just don't feel it," she says. I shrug. "How are they?" she ask. "Good they've been kicking a lot more." I tell her. "Are they doing it now?" She ask. "Not right now, I think they fell asleep." I say. "Have you heard from him?" she ask. "No," I say, looking down. Tears quickly formed in my eyes. "He'll come around," she says.
I feel my shoulders shake as I choke out a sob. "Come here," she says softly holding out her arms. I lean down, and she hugs me as I cry. "Everything's gonna be fine," she strokes my hair calmly. "I miss him so much. He meant and still means everything to me. I don't know h-how I'm gonna do this without him." I say. "Like I said, everything's gonna be just fine." she tells me again.
"I-it's all my fault..." I sob. "What do you mean?" She ask. "I'm a handful. I'm not good enough for him. I feel even worst that I'm the reason the kids dad isn't gonna be around or around as much." I say. "That's not true, and you know it. In Vic's eyes you're perfect and he'll be there. Vic loves you, I'm sure he'll come around." She tells me. "How do you know?" I ask softly. She says, "I know my son..." She trails off.
I feel babies start to kick a little bit. I sit up straight. "Their kicking now if you still want to feel it." I say, wiping tears away from my eyes. She puts her hand on my stomach. I grab her hand. "Here," I place it where you can feel them. "That's too cute." She smiles.
•+•+•+•+•+•+•+•+•
Stressful chapter with a bit of a fluffy ending. I love you my Darlings!