*A/N*
**WARNING: SMUT SCENE**
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
*Zach's POV*
It been a couple of weeks since I've talked with Autumn.
And it kills me every second.
I miss her so much. I just can't bring myself to take her back after what she's done to me.
I want to forgive her, I'm just scared she will hurt me again. She was sick during the time, and she obviously lacked phyisical contact.
But it's still no excuse.
I did believe her though when she said how sorry she was and how it was a mistake.
But it's just so hard to forgive someone who hurt you, but they say the best thing you can do is forgive them. And let go the pain.
Because forgiveness is about yourself, so in order to move on from this and be happy. I think it's time to forgive.
I need to. Because I love her.
And over all, I want to.
----
I don't know if I should text her or not.
But I need to ask her if we can talk face to face.
So we can put this all behind us and trust each other again.
So that's what I'll do.
I'm about to pull up a 'create new message' on my phone, when all of a sudden, I get an incoming call.
It's Niall. Hm..
I answer it and put it up to my ear. "Hello?"
"Zach." I hear a low irish accent.
"Yes, Mr. Horan?" I ask, a little nervous, and no clue why exactly.
"Zach," I hear a soft choked sob. "Can you come d-down to de united h-hospital?"
"Of course sir, what is it?" My heart is beating fast and my eyes get wider.
There was a short pause. "Autumn." I hear his voice break and let out another sob.
My heart shot out of my chest and my breathing stopped.
"What happened?" I ask, panicky
"Please just come down right away."
"No, tell me Niall. NOW." I say serious.
There's a longer pause then before, then an intake and outtake of breath.
"Autumn," He paused again. "tried t-to kill herself." He barely gets out.
It takes me a minute to respond.
"I'm on my way." I tell him and hang up the phone.
I stare at it and drop it. Now staring at my hand.
I can't even register what I just heard. All I know is that Autumn needs me, and I need to be there for her.
-----
"Autumn Horan." I tell the lady at the front desk.
"What your name?"
"Zachery Tomlinson."
She looks up my name on the computer.
"Yep, your name's on the list. She's in room 265."
"Thank you." I say and go to the elevator.
I wait and finally arive to the right floor. I run down the halls to find her room and I finally find it.
I slowly open the door and I see her.
In bed.
Hooked up to machines.
A white thick cotton blanket covering half of her body.
I walk slowly over to her. Tears already filling my tired, worn out eyes.
I sit down in the chair beside her bed, and scoot it closer to her.
"Auts?" I whipser.
She lays there, eyes closed. She looks so... peaceful.
She had a thick red line imprint around her neck... I threw my head down, trying not to burst into tears right then and there, I have to be strong, for the both of us.
I lift my head back up. "Baby," I softly touch her hand. Then I see her eyes slowly open, blinking a few times, squinting.
She turns her head towards me.
"Z-Zach?" She rasps out.
"Yeah, Auts. I'm here."
She stairs at me for a second, after noticing where she is. Water starts to fill her eyes.
"M'sorry. So so sorry." She shuts her eyes hard, to keep the tears from spilling out.
I brush her hair away from her face with my hand. "No, no baby. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have been so hard on you. And I should have at least talked to you about it." I took a breath. "I still love you Autumn. I always have. I want to be with you again. I want us to put this all behind us. I trust you. I forgive you."
"You shouldn't. I'm a h-horrible selish person. Why would you want to be with someone like me? I do nothing but hurt people."
"That's not true Autumn. You are so beautiful and loving. You care for others and are so sweet. I love your smile and personality. How it lights up a room. And how it lights up me." I said with a smile.
"Really?" She sniffles.
"Of course."
"Thank you Zach. And I'm so so so sorry. I never wanted it to be this way. I love you with everything I am, and I was just at a difficult place at the time. If I could take it back, I would."
"I know you would. I know you never intended to hurt me. I realize that now. And now, all I want is for us to move on and be happy."
"Me too Zachy."
"Butterfly?"
"Yeah?"
"Was I the reason?"
"N-No Zach. I blamed myself. It's my fault."
"Babe, you should know that you are perfect to me in every single way possible. You never need to change. And if you died, I would die too."
"I'm sorry."
"I love you."
"I love you too." She said back.
"Just please don't ever scare me like that again."
"I won't." She responded.
I kissed her on the lips softly, sparks flew everywhere just like it did the first time I kissed her.
This time, I would never let her go.
Shortly after, her parents came in and Niall explained to me what had happened. In the mean time while I was in here with Autumn, they were in another room talking to the doctor.
I'm just so glad that Niall had to go back in for his wallet. If not, then Autumn wouldn't be here.
Where she belongs.
----
Autumn was released 3 days later and already back home.
Her dad has to run some important errands and her mum has to go grocery shopping, since the house is out of food just about.
They asked me to come over and watch her. She still has to be watched until we know she is no longer a threat to herself or others.
She also has to start taking her anti depressants everyday.
Plus they didn't forget about Autumn's anorexia. She's still in recovery and slowly getting better. I just hope she can overcome it.
But I know how strong she truly is, and the fact that I'm going to be here every step of the way.
----
*Autumn's POV*
It's nearly five o'clock and I'm reading a book on the couch when I hear a knock at the door. I go to answer it and it's Zach.
"Zach!" I hug him tight. He laughs.
"Hey beautiful." He smiles cheekly.
"Hey handsome." I smirk.
He comes in and my parents say hello. They tell him thank you and they will be back around seven ish.
We go upstairs and sit on my bed.
I look at him and smile. I lean in and kiss him.
We start to kiss more and more.
Suddenly an idea comes to mind.
I start to unzip his pants. He stops me though.
"Whats wrong?" I ask.
"Are you sure you're ready for this?"
"Of course I am. I love you." I tell him.
"Okay." He says, and I proceed with taking off his pants.
I see his hard on member pushing against his underwear.
I pull down his boxers and grasp him in my hands.
"Shit." He hisses.
"Shhh." I say. "I'm going to make you feel so good." I whisper.
I start to move my hand up and down on his shaft and he is already breathing fast. I smirk at what I'm causing him.
Soon enough he is leaking pre cum. I then put it near my mouth. Slowly blowing on it.
"S-Stop t-teasing!" He whines. I smirk again and wrap my lips around it.
I take it in my mouth and start bobbing my head up and down. Taking as much as I possibly can.
"Jesus christ!" He squirms.
I go deeper and I feel the tip hit the back of my throat. I gag a little. Zach notices and stops me.
"Are you okay?"
"M'fine. No worries." I reassure him. He nods.
I go back down on him and go faster.
His breathing quickins. I know he's close.
I suck harder and let my tongue circle his tip.
"OH GOD AUTUMN!"
I feel him twitch in my mouth. He throws his head back.
"Fuck!!" He groans loudly and cums in my mouth.
I swallow it all. It's salty.
"That was amazing Auts. Thank you."
I smile at him. "Only for you babe." I wink. "I'm gonna go to the bathroom and clean up."
"Wait, I need to watch you."
"Zach, you know my parents took out all of the harmful objects from my bathroom. Everything, plus I just need to clean up."
"Okay, but no more then 2 minutes."
"Okay."
I head into the bathroom and get some toliet paper and wipe my mouth. I also rinse it out as well.
But then I start to feel the guilt from what I did to Zach start to come up again. Shit.
I promised myself to not think suicidal or to relapse on my eating disorder. But I need something.
So I went with the razor.
They can't expect me to quit everything like that. I need something to help me cope.
And at least it's not starving myself or permanently ending my life.
This won't kill me, just give me lots of scars.
Which I'm okay with. As long as from now on after tonight, whenever me and Zach are sexually active, the lights will be off.
And little did my parents know, that a tile in the corner has one of my razor's stashed under it.
I craved it right now, but I can't because I know once I go back into the bedroom, me and Zach are probably gonna have sex. I mean, I've wanted to ever since we first did it.
I could cut on my hips. But I can't risk it.
Plus he only gave me 2 minutes.
But that doesn't mean I can't use it at school in the stall in the girls bathroom.
"Autumn!" I hear Zach call my name.
"Coming!"
I leave the bathroom and a smile lights up upon his face. I get into the bed and he starts kissing me.
He grabs my hips and kisses my neck. Then he starts sucking on it. I let out a soft moan, not being able to contain myself. I feel him smile against my neck.
His hand finds it's way to my thigh and he starts to rub it. I force my body closer to his and can feel his hard on again.
So I start to grind on him. He moans and I can tell the teasing is working.
"Seriously?" He groans.
"Yep." I smile.
I keep doing it. His boxers already getting wet. Myself as well.
"Please," He begged.
"Alright baby."
I took off my shorts and underwear. Then I took off his.
I was already dripping.
He pumped himself a couple of times and then I sank on to him.
"Shit," I gasped.
I waited to get adjusted and then I started moving up and down at a slow pace.
Zach bit his lip. "That's it baby."
I started riding him faster and faster. The sound of slapping skin filled my bedroom.
He finally starts hitting my g-spot and I moan in pleasure.
He smiled and grabs my hips. Helping me ride him smoother.
He also puts some thrusts into it, hitting it harder and faster.
"Fuck," I gasp. "Right there. Fuck me right there!" I moan louder.
We go faster and harder. Our bodies sweaty and pleasured.
"Oh god Autumn, you're so fucking good." Zach threw his head back.
"Mmmm fuck Zach baby. You feel so good inside me." I ride him at a quicker pace.
"Uh uh uh." I moan.
"Shit- fuck." He moans.
I can feel my stomach tightin. I'm close.
"I'm c-close!" I say, out of breath.
"Me too babe." Zach groans.
He hits it harder than ever before, so much pleasure filling both of our bodies.
"Ahhhh, fuck don't stop!" I scream. "Don't fucking stop!!!!"
"I'm cumming, fuck.... yes!!" He screams with me.
"Uhhhh!!! Yeahhh!!" I whine as I cum hard on his dick. I feel him twitch and cum with me.
Filling me up whole.
We ride out our high and I fall down on the bed.
We both lay there. Breathing hard.
"Wow, you are so beautiful." He turns to me and says.
"So are you darling." I cup his face and give him a quick kiss.
We cover up with the blankets. And stare into each other's eyes for awhile.
That's until I hear the door open.
Shit.
My parents.
Already?
"My parents!" I whispered loudly.
Zach's eyes widen and we jump out of bed and quickly throw our clothes on.
I spray on some perfume and collect myself. Zach has some AXE in his bag and spraid it on.
Good thing.
We walk downstairs and greet my parents. They thank Zach and they say goodbye to him.
We kiss and hug.
"See you tomorrow?" I ask him.
"Sure thing love." He smiles.
We say goodbye to eachother and he leaves.
We make a late family dinner and eat.
It was a lot easier to eat the meal because most of the time all I could think about was Zach.
So that helped me.
I said goodnight to my parents and went upstairs.
I went into my room and saw Snickers laying on my bed. She must have hopped up here when we went downstairs.
I mentally smiled and turned off the lights.
I cuddled with her in my bed and closed my eyes.
Maybe I won't need the razor after all.
But that was just it...
Maybe.