My eyes widened at what I'd said and I dropped my gaze to my plate, feeling my cheeks flame with color as all conversation stopped and I felt the weight of their gazes on me.
9 heated gazes.
The silence was actually nice for the minute it was quiet.
You know, before all hell broke loose and they all talked at once.
"Oi, Trouble, why the fuck you got to talk about god damn boys?"
"Sang Baby..." North's growl was more than enough to say.
"Aggele Mou, there's no need to talk about other boys."
"Peanut, no!"
"We have 10 here, no need for more numbers." I could hear Kota's glasses rubbing against his nose as he pushed them up again.
"Pookie, if I'm not enough for you..." I almost glanced up at Sean, I was sure he was actually smirking at the turmoil.
"You talk about boys, Cupcake?"
"Princess, what do you mean?"
"I am sure there is an explanation, Miss Sorenson."
Oops, guess I must have hit a nerve there if he went all formal on me. I appreciated the fact that Victor cared enough to ask what I meant and not just jump into a conclusion. I almost choked on the bite of my BLT that I was chewing before a heavy hand patted me on the back and I glanced sideways at Silas as he looked at me in concern before smiling at me. "Thanks." I murmured, taking a sip of water and looking up.
Yup, they were all still here.
Yup, they had all stopped eating.
And yes... I sighed. The range of emotions ran rampant in the eyes of my 9 loves.
"Miss Sorenson."
I sighed again and dropped my sandwich. "I didn't mean talk about other guys." I said. "Trust me, I have more than enough on my plate trying to handle the 9 of you." I rolled my eyes and then narrowed them at them one at a time until they relaxed a bit. "I mean, I just..." I shrugged. "I love that if I have problems or things that I can't seem to resolve I can come to you." I motioned at Owen. He gave me a millimeter smile.
"And I'm surprisingly more comfortable than I ever thought I would be talking about any medical things with you." I said to Sean. "Each of you give me a perspective and answer to something that I can't get from the others. I mean, who else is going to take care of clothes, hair and make-up but Gabriel?"
"Damn straight fuck yeah, Trouble."
"And Luke helps me with my sweet tooth issues, North hears my dreams and presses me to eat vegetables." I continued before telling Nathan, Kota, Victor and Silas what they meant to me as well.
"So help us understand, Princess."
"I just..." I bit my lower lip for a moment. "I... I don't want to talk to Owen about relationship issues I'm having with any of the rest of you. I don't want to talk to any of you about problems I have with the rest of you. It's not fair. No one deserves to have their girlfriend complain about them to their friends." I took a deep breath.
"Because you're more than friends, you're all my boyfriends and it wouldn't be right. Owen and I talked about it already. Individual dates and details are to be just between us, I won't share pictures or details about my dates with any of you with the understanding that you don't either because it's not fair. Not to you and certainly not to me because it would make me feel shallow and cause you to think I don't appreciate you." I looked around. "I just... My mother, stepmother... step monster, would rather call me a slut and a whore and probably would cheerfully kill me just to save herself the horror of having a tramp for a daughter.... Step daughter who is a constant reminder of her husband's infidelity." I sighed softly and took a sip of water.
"My sister hates me. The only other girl my age in our neighborhood is her friend and thinks I'm a slutty whore too. Jessica is too young. I'm certainly not talking to Erika, Pam or Mrs. Green." I stated, noting the amused look that flashed onto Sean's face at the thought of me contacting his mother to have a chat about boys with her.
I mean, I haven't even met her yet or anything.
"The only girl I know who actually hasn't tried to kill me or date any of my boys is Karen." I said. "But I still wouldn't be able to talk to her. Can't tell her about the two of you." I motioned at Owen and Sean. "And we won't be at school next year so... Awkward." I frowned.
"So who do I talk to?" I asked, my eyes wide as I studied them. "Girls don't like me." I muttered before dropping my gaze. I wanted to curl up on my chair but there wasn't enough space between me and the table to do so.
It was true, somehow, I seemed to rub girls the wrong way. Even all the academy girls I'd met back at my introduction and the trial and EVERYTHING that I did... they didn't like me either.
Although I suppose that had more to do with how hard they tried to hook up with my boy's right in front of me only to be shot down and hard by my guys.
Who promptly would find me and lay a searing kiss on my lips that left me blushing and staring after them as they'd head off to do what they needed to do. The view when they would walk away was actually very nice after all and I certainly wasn't sorry that I had to look at it ... but even that got me glares and venomous words hissed my way.
I heard all of them breathing, but no one was saying anything or eating and I looked up again for a moment to find that they all, to a man, had a troubled gaze on their face as they looked at me.
"Sorry, Trouble." Gabriel finally spoke up. "We didn't fucking know." He said, eyes wide as they looked at me.
I shrugged. "Its okay, Meanie. No one did because I didn't say anything."
"I suppose that you could and should consult Lily." Owen said. "She is the one that will understand the best."
I met his gaze for a long moment. "I guess." I said softly. "But that's still not right." I said. "I ... I sort of ... well, I ..."
"Just say it Pookie. There's no judgements here, we all love you."
"I wish she was my mom." I blinked against the rush of tears that flooded my eyes, feeling horrible at bringing down the mood when we'd been having a good day.
There were 9 sudden intakes of breath and 9 slow exhales as it suddenly dawned on them just how broken of a girl I was.
I literally had them.
I had Uncle, Charlie, Erika, Pam and Jessica in my corner with them.
I had Lily and her husbands who I adored more than any of them ever knew because honestly, if I was with them, it made me feel like their daughter. They'd never had kids and Lily had told me more than once that the 5 of them were so grateful that I wanted to spend time with them because it let them see what it would have been like to be parents.
Dr. Roberts, who always had a kind word for me and a bag of candy that he would slip to me when we passed in the halls, was like the grandfather that I did miss desperately. He slipped the candy to me so that Sean wouldn't steal it and eat it all before me.
That was the extent of the world that I was comfortable with.
"I see." Owen murmured softly.
"So it's nice to talk to her because like you said, she understands." I said. "But it's still not the same, I can't giggle about things with her and you know, girly stuff like I would maybe with a girl my own age."
"There's a few nurses at the hospital that are nice and not too much older than you." Sean said, running his hand through his hair.
"They don't like me." I said glumly. He looked confused. "Because they all have crushes on you." His eyes remained puzzled. "Just like the cheerleaders don't like me because of North and Silas and most of the other girls don't like me because I'm always monopolizing the rest of you and well, frankly, I'm sure Marie and Danielle spread a few rumors about me... which everyone else believed. So there's only Karen from school."
The boys were all still working on what I'd said.
"It's a problem for another time though." I said softly. "Please eat. I'll be okay."
"We'll figure something out, Darling." I met Owen's gaze again.
"I'm sure we will, my love."