Ashley:
"So pickles, strawberry shortcake ice cream, cheesecake and takis. Is that all you want ?" Dante stood up from the bed, stretching. For the past month Dante and I had been watching the series from the beginning on Netflix, both intrigued by the study of anthropology. We were a few episodes into season eleven when I had a sudden craving.
"Sounds about right." I smiled as he wrote everything down on his phone.
He raised a disbelieving eyebrow.
" I'll be halfway home and you'll call for something else, wont you ?"
I couldn't help but laugh. Dante knew me so well.
"Possibly."
He rolled his eyes, trying to fight a smile. He bent down and kissed my cheek before grabbing his jacket and heading out the door.
"Out for another cravings run ?" Ash walked in with a plate piled with pizza. My mouth started to water as the delicious smell hit me.
He settled in beside me before handing the plate over.
"We were downstairs in the movie room eating pizza and I thought you would like some. "
I immediately reached for a slice of pizza, hissing when the cheese burned my tongue.
"Slow down there prego." he teased as he handed me a napkin.
"Thanks." I moaned as I bit into a jalapeno, the spice erupting in my mouth. "You're the best."
Ash handed me a bottle of water from my mini fridge, as he grabbed a soda for himself.
"How are you feeling ?" He asked a worried look on his face. Since finding out about the pregnancy he had been treating me as if I was fragile. It got annoying at times but I appreciated everything he did for me. He was just being an overprotective older brother, even if he was just older by a few minutes.
"I'm fine Ash." I sighed "You don't have to keep asking me."
"You're not fine." he said, his grey eyes holding nothing but worry "You wake up every morning with puffy eyes. Its okay to not be okay, Ashley. You miss-" he stopped mid sentence when I sent him a sharp look " thou who shall not be named."
"Sometimes." I admitted looking down at my now protruding belly. It still amazed me to realize that I had two human beings growing in me. Two human beings that would depend on me to feed, clothe, and change them. My love grew with each passing day,
"I've been dreaming about him a lot lately." I admitted "In my dreams I'm braiding my daughters hair, and he's playing baseball with our son. He looks up at me and suddenly turns and walks away. I try to catch up, but no matter what I do I cant reach him. I wake up and I can't help but cry. He walked away from me Ash, and my children. He may not know I was pregnant at the time, but he walked away. "
I wipe at my eyes as I feel the waterworks coming on. These damn hormones.
Ash wrapped his arms around me. The comfort made me cry even harder.
"Ashley-"
"No Ash." I already knew what he was going to say. He wouldn't let it go.
"Hear me out this once" He pleaded looking me in the eyes " He deserves to know. Your children deserve to know their father. As much as I hate him right now for walking out on you, and making you cry, I'm on Lindsey's side . She knows Damian well, if she says it will devastate Damian not knowing then it will . I know I would be devastated. Stop letting your pride get in the way."
"This isn't about my pride." I stood up, the room becoming stuffy.
As much as I knew Ash was right a part of me hated Damian. I hated him for making me feel so weak. He said he loved me, yet walked away. He said he had demons, that his past haunted him but that was no reason to walk away. We could have worked on it together, he shouldn't have run away from happiness. If anything he let his past win. That made him a coward. I didn't know what it was that he was so haunted about, Lindsey was tight lipped about it, but I knew if he loved me like he claimed he wouldn't have left so easily.
"I see your point but i'm not going to change my mind on this."
He let out a loud sigh but said nothing.
My chest hurt from all the emotions I had bottled in. I hated how sensitive I was now that I was a month away from giving birth. Honestly, pregnancy wasn't like they portrayed in books and movies. My back ached, my feet were swollen, I craved food at one in the morning. At the end of the day, when everyone was asleep I lay in bed alone. It was times like that when I wished Damian were here.
"You miss him Ashley." Ash sighed "Maybe if you were to tell him , he would come back. You could be a family.."
"If he knew, he would feel obligated to to return." I snapped, just the thought of Damian returning due to these circumstances angered me." He wouldn't return for me, no he would return because he would feel a duty to his heir. You and I know the first born son is heir to the Alpha position, I do not want my son feeling like his father only stuck around so he could take his place."
"Dammit Ash, what did you do to make her cry?"
Dante sent Ash a seething glare as he came to my side, and put a protective arm around my waist. His hand flat against my extended belly as if he were protecting them too.
Ash stood up from the bed, a, apologetic look on his face.
"I'm sorry for upsetting you Ashley. I wont bring it up again. "
With a final apology he walked out.
"C'mon." Dante led me back to the bed as he settled in beside me. He began to take things out of the paper bag, and laid them out on the bed.
"I'm not really in the mood to eat right now." I mumbled, Ash's words running through my head.
Your children deserve to know their father.
Yes they did. And one day, when and If the pain subsided and I was no longer angry, I would introduce them to him. I promised myself that.
"Fine."
Dante frowned as he grabbed the control and started another episode of Bones. He turned off the bedside table and settled back on the headboard. The room fell into darkness the only noise from the television. Dante hated it when I didn't eat. I tried to concentrate on the television but the smell of pickles had my mouth watering. I reached over and grabbed one, almost moaning as I took a bite. I craved pickles constantly.
I saw Dante's lips twitch, as if trying to suppress a smile. I mock punched him as I leaned into him. His arm immediately went around my waist, him hand on my belly.
I looked down at his tan hand, protectively around my belly. A warmth filled me as I once again thanked the mood goddess for blessing me with such an amazing friend and warrior.
Since the day I found out I was pregnant Dante was by my side 24/7. If he was over protective back then it was nothing compared to now. It was to the point where everyone assumed that Dante was the father.
I remember the day I told my parents. It was a few days later after coming back from New York. Dante held my hand while I told them, leaving out the fact that Damian was the father. I had been terrified of there reactions.
"Who is the father?" was the first question out of my father's mouth.
"Dad, that's not important."
"Of course it's important." Dad glared Dante down "I need to know who to beat up for getting my daughter knocked up at such a young age.".
"Chris, if I remember correctly I was Ashley's age when I became pregnant." mom rolled her eyes, a blush crawling up his neck "Honey, if the father doesn't stick around, know that your family and friends will be here for support. When you are ready we will be here to listen, wont we Chris? "
Dad grudgingly nodded his head.
Mom walked around the table and hugged me, dad falling suit. Even though I could see the disappointment in his eyes. My mother gushed about being a grandmother and how happy she was.
After a few weeks, everyone including my parents began to think Dante was the father.
My dad had even went so far as to summon Dante into his office one day and threaten him. Dante had told me later on that my father had commented that even though he was mated to Peyton that he better still take care of me and his grandchildren. I was mortified, but Dante had assured me that he didn't mind that people assumed he was the father.
"Its better they assume I'm the father than Damian. Then all hell will break loose."
I had reluctantly agreed.
Peyton on the other hand wasn't taking the rumors so well, she purposely went out of her way to avoid us. Not that we had spoke to her in the last month. Dante even refused to speak to her, and it was taking his toll on him. He missed her I knew, as much as he denied it. He couldn't forgive and forget. He still felt guilty till this day, no matter how much I tried to convince him to let it go.
I on the other hand hardly had the energy and time to think of Damian since Dante and the rest of the group made sure to distract me. I was so grateful to have family and friends so supportive.
Especially Dante. I don't know ow I would manage without him . He had become my crutch. If I had a sudden craving he would rush right away to the store. If my feet or back ached he would give me a massage and draw me a bath. When I woke up during the night in tears he would rush in and hold onto me till I fell back asleep.
"What are you thinking about?" his deep voice brought me back, and I realized that I had been staring at him,
"How grateful I am to have such an amazing man like you by my side." I leaned up and kissed his cheek .
I could see the blush on his face a huge smile on his devilishly handsome face. He kissed the top of my head and offered a pickle.
We spent the rest of the night watching Bones and junking out. I would glace at Dante and he would still have that smile plastered on his face.
-------
I don't know exactly when it happened, but somehow I became dependent upon Dante. And he become dependant on me. More than one occasion, when the group hung out they would watch us like hawks.
"Its so weird watching you two sometimes." Lance commented.
"Then don't watch." Dante replied earning a glare from Lance while we laughed.
"Its like if Ashley moves, you move. If she goes to the kitchen, you go to the kitchen. Shoot you probably even sleep together!" I looked over at Dante and shrugged.
"You must be imagining things. He doesn't follow me to the bathroom so therefore your conclusion is irrelevant." I stuck my tongue out at him.
"Actually I noticed to." Bailey spoke up. The rest of the group concurred.
"I know during your pledge, it was mentioned that you could take each other as mates." Ash said "Has that ever crossed your minds?"
I looked at Dante and he looked at me. It had crossed my mind briefly, but I had quickly dismissed the idea.
"You two are so good together."Raven pointed ou "Dante would make an amazing father. He treats you so well, and takes care of your every need. Well not every need-" she sent me a suggestive wink.
"Raven!" I snapped covering my face mortified. I could feel my face heating up in embarrassment.
I glared at her, accusing her with my eyes. I told her that my hormones had been going crazy lately, but not so she would make that known to everyone. The guys had quickly made an escape to the pool, while all the girls lounged on the lawn chairs.
"What are you thinking about?" Raven asked as she raised an eyebrow "Were you having a naughty thought? You're blushing."
I sent her a glare as I put my sunglasses back on.
"So is that a yes?" Raven wiggled her eyebrows.
"No" I rolled my eyes.
"You totally were! You've been horny all week."
"Will you shut up!" I hissed as i felt eyes our way. I could feel a blush coming on.
Lindsey laughed.
"Raven, leave her alone." Bailey said, mean while trying not to laugh.
"Oh c'mon . You're pregnant , its normal to be hormonal. You haven't had sex in almost four months, its natural to be feeling that urge again," Raven rolled over to face me " And that was only one night, the only other time was almost a year with my brother. Ow!"
A sunscreen bottle lay on the stone floor, Lindsey sending a glare Ravens way.
"Everyone knows about it Lindsey," Raven rolled her eyes, as she threw the bottle back. She laid back down with a thoughtful look on her face. "Thinking about it, I think everyone here has at least had sex with someone in the group once. For example Ash with me and Bailey, Lance with you and Lindsey, me with Ash and Damian, and you with Lance and..." She looked up in time to see my shocked face "I am so sorry Ashley. I wasn't thinking-"
I stood up and walked away before the tears started. Everyone else was very careful not to mention Damian's name, for fear to upset me. And not only hearing his name but also being reminded of his past with Raven had the tears escaping.
I heard the girls call after me but I ignored them as I made my way up to my room. The door opened behind me as Dante's strong arms wrapped around my waist, his body still wet from the pool.
"You okay?" He asked as I nodded, my throat closing up as I tried to keep my sobs in.
He pulled away slightly, tipping my chin up.
"You don't have to lie to me Ashley, I can feel your emotions remember." He wiped a tear away with his thumb. "It will get better with time, you know."
I nodded my head, knowing he was right. I buried my head in his neck, letting him comfort me.
I could feel every inch of his body against me, hear his strong heartbeat beneath my ear. It calmed me down some.
Get a hold of yourself Ashley, I reprimanded. My hormones were driving me crazy.
I pulled away, trying to put some distance between us.
"Ill be fine Dante. Ill be out in a little." I lied, trying to regain my composure.
Dante nodded stiffly, turning to the door. He had his hand on the door handle when he turned around.
"I wanna try something." He said moments before his lips were on mine. I stood frozen before I responded. His lips felt nice against mine, but I didn't feel what I felt with Damian. I didn't want to rip his clothes off.
He pulled away slowly, a troubled look on his face.
"What was that for?" I asked confused.
He shook his head as he sat down on the edge of the bed.
"We're great together. I could be around you all day and never get bored. We laugh, we can talk about anything and everything. " He let out a heavy sigh looking into my eyes as I sat down next to him. He reached out and clasped my hand.
"Except I don't see you in that way. I love you, but not romantically. My heart belongs to Peyton even if I cant stand being with her right now. And you, well I hope you work things out with D, but who knows you might even find your second chance mate. Things would just be less complicated if we were to get together." he sighed.
I nodded in agreement.
We sat there in silence, consumed by our own thoughts.
Damian been gone almost three and a half months, but the pain was still as fresh as that first day. I made myself get up and act strong because of my two bundles of joy. I didn't want them to see me break down years from now still missing there father.
"I love you." Dante said wrapping his arm around me.
"I love you too." I kissed his cheek "In a totally platonic way."
He chuckled lowly.
"Yes, in a totally platonic way." He looked down at me with a smile "I'm always going to be here for you."
"I know."
And he was there for me, when I went into labor two weeks later at 12:35 a.m. on July 15th. He held my hand through out the whole time, not once complaining. Mom and Raven remained in the room as well, while everyone else waited outside anxiously.
Six hours after the contractions first began the pack doctor said it was ready.
"Time for you to push Ashley." she wore a bright smile. I wanted to slap it off her face. I was in pain here and yet she was smiling "On your next contraction push hard."
Four pushes later and Micah Alexander was born at 6:35; 7 pounds 4 oz's, 21 inches long. Two pushes later his sister Madison Christine was born at 6:52 ; 6 pounds 11 oz's and 19 inches long.
The room filled with my anxious friends and family. When Amy handed my children over, laying them both on my chest with for skin to skin contact I felt this intense love consume me. They both had dark hair, and blue eyes that with time would change into their natural eye color. Small noses, and lips, but big eyes that looked at me adoringly. I had never seen anyone more beautiful in my life.
"Hello Micah." I whispered to my son, his big eyes blinking at me slowly. "Hello Madison." I turned to my daughter.
When it was time to fill out the birth certificate I hesitated on the line that requested fathers name. I decided to scrawl out Damian's name. As for last name, I knew Micah might one day become heir to the Blackwood's Pack and pass down the Blackwood's name. I scrawled out Blackwood's on both certificates.
Dante looked at me, a slight smile on his face. I handed the papers back to Amy before anyone else could see it.
"She's beautiful." he said as he held Madison. She looked tiny in his big arms "Just like her momma."
"Thank you." I watched as he rocked her gently in his arms. He really was amazing with kids.
"Whats their names?" my dad walked up holding Micah in his arms. Mom followed his every move , adoration clear on her face.
The rest of the group surrounded the bed, big smiles on their faces, waiting for me to speak.
"Micah Alexander and Madison Christine" I looked around as I said the next word "Wayne."
My dad sighed deeply but nodded. He still didn't understand why I wouldn't tell him who the father was. Lindsey's face fell momentarily before she forced a smile. I know she hated hiding this from Damian. Everyone else congratulated me and commented their approval on the names.
Mom reached for Micah and dad handed him over, watching as my mom cradled him in her arms. I could see the adoration in his eyes.
I didn't like keeping things from my parents, and it put strain on our relationship. It made me feel guilty everyday. If my dad found out Damian was the father I had no doubt he would go straight to Steven and demand Damian do the right thing. That would also involve telling him about Damian's rejection and I know that my father would flip. My dad was a big believer on mates, he found my mom at a young age and was always talking about how amazing it was to find your mate. Only for his own daughter to be denied just that. He would hunt Damian down.
Ash now held Micah in his arms, every crowded around trying to get a peek. I had no doubt that soon Bailey or Lindsey would follow suit.
"Don't start getting any thoughts." my father teased my mother, his posture relaxed now. He was only that relaxed around her.
"I'm perfectly happy being a grandmother." mom sent me a pointed look "Three was enough for me, but I expect more from you honey."
I laughed as I said,
"No promises."
Amy came a while later and shooed everyone away to let me rest. Everyone congratulated me once more before leaving.
Dante was the last to leave.
"Thank you for being here with me." I said my hand still clutched in his "I don't know how I would have gone through these past few months without you. "
His lips turned up in a heart stopping smile.
"I would do anything for you, Ashley." Never doubt that. Now get some rest, I'll come by and visit later on." I nodded my head as he kissed my cheek and left.
I looked to my right where Micah and Madison slept peacefully in their carts, soon to be awoken when they became hungry.
It was so surreal to think that a few months ago I thought my life ended when Damian left and now I had two babies that I now couldn't imagine my life without. Life threw a lot of obstacles my way and I had to think that everything happened for a reason. My reason now was to be the best mother I could be. With or without Damian was up to him. I hopped he came to his senses before it was too late.