I waved, snapped my fingers to get his attention. His eyes finally flickered towards me when I was attempting to make faces at him. I grinned and waved at him enthusiastically.
I expected him to grin or glare but instead he turned pale. Fear overtook in his widened eyes. He was looking afraid as his mouth opened for a second before closing it.
After that, I should have left. I shouldn't have stayed but I did. I hate myself for that.
Jared was acting as if he had seen a ghost. His lips parted and he looked around to check if anybody had caught him looking at me. He looked batshit scared.
Soon, Mr. Schoff walked over to the stage, beckoning him to go along with him on stage. Jared looked like he didn't have much strength as he let him take him over.
"Ladies and gentlemen. Welcome to my party. I hope you enjoy and make yourselves comfortable. This is a very special party not just for us but also for my business partner, Mr. Jared Grey."
Jared didn't respond. He was looking at me with pleading eyes, looking at me to silently order me to go from there.
As if. I wasn't going until he told me what was going on with him. I shook my head, mouthing back a no. His entire face looked terrified as he gulped and looked over at Schoff. I didn't understand. It definitely looked like Schoff had finalised his deal so instead of being happy, he looked sad. Shouldn't he be grinning like an idiot now?
"Well, he won't remain just a business partner anymore. He will be family in two weeks time," Schoff announced.
I frowned, looking at Schoff. Family... as in...
"That is correct. I am very proud to announce that my daughter Cecelia will be getting engaged to Jared in two weeks."
The whole hall erupted in claps and cheers. The lady who was talking to Jared curled her hand against his bicep, smiling widely. Cameras flashed continuously as sounds echoed through the hall.
Jared's face finally crumpled entirely as looked ashamed and guilty and I saw his eyes breaking down. His eyes were pleading for forgiveness as he stared at me throughout the time. He gave a tight smile at Schoff as he slapped his shoulder in delight.
"Give a round of applause to my daughter and my future son in law."
Cecelia smiled and clapped while Jared was staring at me with a haunted look, his eyes speaking volumes now. He gulped again, his face devoid of any happiness despite the small smile he was giving towards the cameras. Just a broken heart and some promises. They stood together, posing for cameras as the people shouted at Jared to look over at them.
And I?
I felt emptiness. I felt nothing. I was numb.
No feelings, no hurt, no jealousy, shock, betrayal, just an empty void. I didn't feel like this even when Jared left me five years ago. It was intense pain that time that drove me to lunacy almost. This time, it wasn't even half of that. For few seconds, I hoped I was dreaming, maybe it was just a nightmare. Yet, the loud claps and chatters all around with continuous snaps of the cameras were proof everything that happened was a haunted reality. I was standing still.
However, I knew I couldn't hold it any longer. I would come crashing down soon, but not in front of everyone. Not in front of Jared. All those feelings would come rushing any moment now.
"Please enjoy everyone," Mr. Schoff said as he opened the champagne bottle and poured drinks for everyone.
And that's when I slowly turned and walked out.
~¤~
I vigorously wiped the tears off as I ran out. The tears were blinding my vision as I sniffed and took a turn out, not caring if the guards saw me and threw me out. Nobody told me anything as I quickly slipped out of the gate, rubbing my face.
"Allison! Allison!" I heard the faint voice of Jared shouting behind me as I scrambled down the road.
I didn't want him to see me. I spotted a hedge and hid behind it, continuing rubbing my eyes as my nose blocked. It wasn't of any use as they were again being clouded by tears as I clasped my mouth shut to prevent him from hearing any sob. I pressed my handkerchief against my mouth as my whole body shook and I breathed heavily. I heard Jared talking to the guards and running down the path I had just covered.
"Allison?" He was pleading now, "Allison, I know you are hiding here. Please, come out. I have to explain things to you."
I stood still, until I heard his footsteps fading away, calling my name repeatedly. I came out of my hiding place once I saw he had left and turned to go back to my car when suddenly, a hand grabbed my elbow and turned me around as I gave a small yelp. Jared.
"Allison I- Oh god. Please don't cry, Alli. I can't see you in tears, even though I know I am the reason for them," He wiped them off, his eyes full of pain as he himself looked broken, cradling my face gently in his hand as he pulled me to his chest, hugging me tightly as he rocked me, patting my head.
My voice had choked. I wasn't being able to say anything. I was too shocked to even push him away as he continuously kept on apologising and kissing the top of my head, firmly holding me. At one point, I felt bile rising up my throat as I didn't want to be touched by him. I pushed him away and stepped back few feet.
"Allison-" He came forward but I raised a hand.
"D-don't lie, Jared. Its bullshit. You love to see me in tears. You always gain happiness out of it," I finally said but my voice cracked as I sobbed, wiping my face again and again.
"No. No, Alli," He looked torn as he came forward again and I stepped back one more foot.
"Don't you dare call me Alli. Its Allison for you, sir. Congratulations for your engagement. Hope you and Ms. Cecelia have a great married life," I said, sniffing.
"No don't say like that. I am so sorry, Allison. Its just that Mr. Schoff said he would sign the project if I married Cecelia. I was about to tell you tomorrow and talk to you regarding this," He sounded anguised as he grabbed my wrist. I jerked my hand away and looked away.
"And you said yes for your company. I get it," I nodded my head, "I get it. I understand why you were saying you finished everything, you did indeed."
"No, Allison. I don't like her, I swear. Not even a bit. I barely know her from one or two meetings. Its just a business deal. I am always meant only for you. Once this project is over and the contract of one year expires, I am divorcing her," He rattled.
And thats when I felt it. Anger. Rage was boiling inside me as the sadness was now replaced by my wrath. To even hear such words from the guy I loved was something I had never thought to begin with.
"How. Dare. You," I gritted my teeth, "You bastard. You have already messed up my life and you are gonna ruin another girl's life for your convenience? Do you even realize what you are saying, Jared?! What has happened to you?" I shrieked, not caring if the guests heard me.
He looked at me, his eyes full of anguish and pleading for a chance now.
"So you are hoping to have an affair behind her back with me and then dump her after an year because of course, the world only operates for Jared Grey while we are merely servants working for his pleasure and benefits. How cold and selfish can you be?!"
"Alli no! I love you, Alli! Jesus, how can you say like that? My hands are tied behind my back. There was and there is only one girl and that's you-"
I couldn't believe he was actually saying these things.
"You have completely changed, my god. The Jared I knew would think a thousand times before uttering such shit. This new Jared sucks. You don't know what you want yourself. You don't know which is more important. Your company or me. But I don't give a shit anymore. I am done. I am done with your lies and apologies," I finished, as fresh set of tears rolled down, "How can you only think of your happiness and your life? Do others mean nothing to you? You think I am always going to be standing here for you as you get a wife and become a family man? I am not going to be the other woman. Neither I nor Cecelia deserves a narcissistic person like you. Respecting only the woman you claim to love is not respecting women. Cecilia has the right to be respected, Jared."
He at least had the decency to hang his head in shame as I shouted.
"Is this some sort of revenge? For what I did five years ago? Because if it is a yes, then you did one hell of a job," I spat.
His eyes widened, "No! No! I would never do such a thing, Allison!"
"Guess what? You already did, Jared,"
"Allison, listen to me once. Everything was true for me. Every single moment I spent with you. This is just a business merger."
"You know Jared, five years ago you had asked me why I didn't confess it to you earlier. I didn't give you an answer then," I swallowed, my eyes brimming with tears again.
To be honest, I might have known but refused to ever acknowledge it in front of anyone, not even my parents, Alice or even Wade. Jared's eyes looked broken. He looked broken. Damn him. He had no right to look like this while I was the one who was actually hurt this time.
"I don't even know what I can say besides that I have always been picked second for my entire life. While people have always congratulated me for being the classic good girl, Alice got the love of everyone else and be the first pick. My gym teacher always commented me to lose those extra pounds in front of everyone and a boy had used me in school before to get to Alice. So, that didn't help me a lot with my insecurities. When I met you, you were the first one who picked me over her and I liked the attention. I was selfish, yes but I didn't want you to pick her over me. I was done being the second pick. I-"
I broke down again, crying like a baby as I clutched my face in my hands. I felt him moving forward but I stepped back. I didn't want him to touch him. All my self loathing and deprecation came back to me as I realized Jared had been no different. Even if he did love me as he claimed, it would be so cheap of us to meet behind Cecelia's back. I could never do that to her. My morals and upbringing prohibited that.
"I know I am justifying what I did and I shouldn't have done that. I should've said that but literally, everything I did was my doing except the name and makeover. Goddamn, I have paid the price for that, Jared. I have paid the price for a long time and I felt I finally deserved my chance to happiness now but you just had to go and ruin it."
"How could I? How could I call you up and tell that I was to be engaged to another woman? He didn't give me much time to think. Just one night. Would you have been happy if I said that?"
"At least you should've told me. You should've told me not to hold on to false hopes. You should've told me because I deserved that. I deserved to know because I was involved too, unless you were simply playing me," I croaked, unable to look at him.
"No Alli. You know I didn't play you. Every word I have said to you, every thought of mine about you were true and honest. Its just a business deal and it doesn't mean anything to me," He said firmly, "We haven't lost hope. I am with you. Even Cecelia can do what she wants, I wouldn't stop her. I don't care. I only care about you."
"Why are you not understanding? What do I have to do to make you understand!? Its not about both you having numerous affairs or relationships! Its the sanctity of marriage, you hiding things from me and you hurting me!" I bellowed.
He looked honestly scared of me now as his eyes widened with fear, "I won't lose you again, Alli. I can't bear the pain twice. I have had enough. I won't lose you."
"Well, you did! I am not a scapegoat for you. You can't have best of both worlds because the world isn't your sanctuary."
I couldn't take it anymore. I couldn't bear to stand next to him as I turned and walked away.
"Oh and one more thing," I added, "You know you said how everything is over? You are correct. Everything is over. Finished. Forget anything happened between us. From today onwards you are my boss and I am your employee. I am not leaving this job because I won't give you the satisfaction of winning. All the best to your marriage life. Goodnight sir," I said coldly.
"I love you, Allison," He spoke, his voice raspy.
God, how desperately I had wanted to hear those words again from his mouth. If it was even few minutes back, I wouldn't think twice of jumping into his arms and proclaim the same. Right now, I only felt revulsion towards him.
I smiled, shaking my head, "Now, I don't believe you. I can't. If this is your way of showing love, I don't want your love. Or anyone's for that matter. You make me sick," I repeated his words from five years ago.
I still remembered every word he said to me that day. Today, I wanted to hurl it back at him.
"I am sorry," He spoke, his voice choking now, "I really am. Don't leave me. You are the only one who is there in my heart, Alli. I love you truly. We can work something out."
"Go to hell. The world will become a better place then. Only you can make something work now, not me," My final words made his face go clearless. He took one step back at the sincerety in those words.
"I couldn't hate you anymore," I walked away to my car. I heard him running behind me, "No, Alli. Please. Just give me a chance and-" Ignoring him, I got in quickly.
As I drove away I looked in the rearview mirror once.
Jared had sunk to the ground on his knees with his head in his hands and was crying.