{Kate's Point of View}
The night was just beginning; lipstick was fresh, eyeliner was even, and my heels hadn't started hurting my feet yet. Saturday nights had been spent in the office for far too many consecutive weeks. For once, we had been given a night off and Alessandra, Tory, Natalia, Jill, and I took full advantage.
I sat back in the booth stifling laughter as Tory and Natalia took the karaoke stage to sing a Spice Girls song. Alessandra had her phone ready to video the whole performance. Jill was cheering loudly as the song started. Dressed in sequins and leather, the girls owned the stage. Heads turned as the management consultants turned pop stars strutted around and shook their hair. By the time their song ended, the entire place was on its feet demanding an encore.
"Brilliant," Alessandra clapped as Natalia and Tory returned to our table.
"Putting Posh Spice to shame," I nudged Tory.
"Could we buy you ladies some drinks?" a guy asked. He approached our table with four of his friends.
"Sorry, babe," Alessandra held up her left hand and pointed to a ring on her finger. "We're all taken. It's our friend's bachelorette party."
"I'm the bride," Jill gushed. "Last of my friends to get married, too!"
The boys looked horrified. They nodded and backed away slowly while needlessly apologizing.
"Did you see how disappointed they were?" Alessandra burst out laughing. She moved the diamond cocktail ring from her ring finger back to her middle finger on her right hand where it originated. "Poor lads," she joked.
"Who's next?" Tory sipped her drink.
"Us!" I cried. I pulled Alessandra's hand and made our way toward the stage where two girls were finishing a Whitney Houston song. "Hold my phone!" I tossed my phone to Tory.
Alessandra and I debated which Destiny's Child song to sing as we walked onto the stage. My mind was hazy with the adrenaline of performing. All of my reservations had disappeared earlier in the evening. Being with my best friends and having fun had made me feel like I was floating. Alessandra and I grabbed the microphones and faced the anxiously awaiting crowd. She winked at me and I smiled back.
"Hey!" Tory stood up from the back booth our group had claimed. She held my phone up and the screen was illuminated. "Your boyfriend," she mouthed.
My mind rushed to Harry. He was home on a short break between legs of tour. He had insisted I go out while he spent the night in at his townhouse. He had been tired and not feeling well. I was worried something was wrong. I gave Tory a pleading look.
"Hang on," she mouthed. Tory dashed to the front of the club and jumped up the stairs to take the stage. She forced the phone into my hand and gently pushed me until I was at the top of the stairs. "Sorry, everyone. You get to hear from me again. Hit it!" Tory cued the DJ and the music began to play. She opened the song with a strong note.
I answered the call before reaching the front of the club. "Hello?"
"Kate," Harry said, his voice hoarse.
"What's the matter?"
"Where are you?"
"I'm out. What's wrong?" I pushed through the front doors of the club and staggered onto the street. The summer air was warm still. The street was busy with people walking in and out of clubs, waiting for the bus, and heading home for the night. I walked down the street a small distance until I could hear Harry better. His breathing was loud and ragged over the phone. I could hear him sniffling between breaths. "Harry, please tell me what's wrong."
"It's all my fault," he whimpered.
"Harry?" I felt panicked. Something was very wrong.
"It's bad. It's really bad. I don't know who to talk to."
"What's bad, Harry? Please talk to me."
"I need you."
We had barely been dating a few weeks and I spent most of the time feeling anxious about the relationship. Harry was so much more full of life than I was. Being with him was intense all the time. I worried I couldn't keep up and that I was just a short-term relationship while he found himself. To hear Harry admit that he needed me made my heart melt. I felt like I was an adequate girlfriend, even if only for the night.
"I'll be there. I have to hang up, though. I'm on my way, Harry. It's going to be okay."
"Hurry."
The phone call ended. I felt a surge of energy as I rushed toward a bus that was about to pull away from the stop. When I got on, I called Alessandra and told her Harry was having an emergency and needed me. She told me she would tell the other girls. She asked if there was anything she could do, and I said no. Truthfully, I wasn't sure what I could do. Harry had given no detail about what was upsetting him. He said something bad had happened and that it was his fault. To hear someone in so much distress—especially someone I cared about—was difficult. My heart rate never slowed during the bus ride.
Harry's front door was unlocked when I arrived nearly forty minutes later. I took off my heels at the door and crept deeper into the house. I could see lights of the main floor were on. I walked into the kitchen, but didn't find Harry.
"Harry?"
"In here," he croaked.
I walked into the living room where Harry sat on the edge of the sofa. His head was in his hands and tears dripped off his chin. His laptop was open on the coffee table to a gossip column style website.
"What's wrong, Harry?" I sat beside him.
"Kate," he whispered.
"I'm here," I touched is back gently. "What's the matter?"
"It's Gemma."
"What about her?"
"I'm friends with a film director called Oliver and his wife, Chloe. I've known him for about a year. Anyway, I introduced him to Gemma a month ago at some charity auction. He took her to meet with one of his producer friends because he thought his friend and Gem would be a good match. Well Gemma got papped with Oliver that day. A story just broke about Oliver cheating on Chloe with Gemma. It's obviously completely false. This is all just a mess."
"Harry," I soothed, "stories break all the time that are fake. This isn't anything new."
"Stories don't break about my sister!" he snapped. "And they certainly don't break about my sister being some guy's other woman!"
"You're right," I whispered. I couldn't think of the proper thing to say. Harry was rightfully upset that his sister had been dragged into a media nightmare. "Have you spoken to Gemma?"
"She called me crying," he said. "She's really upset, Kate. This is all my fault. If I didn't introduce them, this wouldn't have happened. Maybe if I were just Harry instead of The Harry Styles, my sister wouldn't have her reputation dragged like this."
Harry was working himself up more. I watched his shoulders hunch and shudder as he held in sobs. His face was covered in red blotches and his eyes were ringed with red. Big, salty tears escaped his eyes and traveled down his pretty face. His lips protruded in an unhappy pout. His hair was matted and messy from nervously running his fingers through it.
"Why don't you lie down and I'll get you a glass of water?" I suggested.
"Sure," he mumbled.
When I returned from the kitchen, Harry was lying on the sofa with his eyes closed. I sat down on the floor in front of the sofa and held the glass of water in my hand. Harry looked miserable; his brow was furrowed and the corners of his mouth were turned down. He blinked a few times and looked up at me. His eyelashes were thick and heavy with tears. His eyes looked sad as he took the water from me. He managed a few sips before placing the glass on the coffee table and resting against the sofa again.
I sat cross-legged on the floor looking up at my boyfriend as he broke down. I reached up and slowly traced the tip of my finger along his arm until I gave him goosebumps.
"You're heart is too big for your own good," I whispered. "You're such a good person."
"I don't feel like that right now," he admitted.
"Harry, you didn't cause this. It's not your fault. You being famous and you introducing Oliver and Gemma have nothing to do with the rumors. Tabloids are making up stories to sell issues of their magazines. Gemma is an easy target because she is related to you."
"It's unfair."
"You're right. It is unfair. It's unfair that good people have to be dragged by the media, and it's even sadder that people believe those stories. And what's happening to Gemma is wrong, but there's nothing you can do to stop it. Gemma understands that, I'm sure. She probably isn't upset with you at all. And the thing is, this all will pass. You have enough experience in this industry to know that stories and drama always pass."
Harry's mouth almost formed the beginning of a smile. He shifted his body out of my reach and moved to his side. He patted the newly vacant space on the sofa. "Come here," he said softly.
I got on the sofa and lay on my side facing Harry. I cuddled into his warm chest and let his strong arm fall over me and caress my back. His lips pressed to the center of my forehead. I felt like time had stopped.
"I'm just really protective of the people in my life," he sighed. "I never want anyone close to me to have to endure something like this. I love my sister and to see her hurting makes me hurt."
"I understand," I whispered into his chest.
"Thank you," he sighed. "Thank you for making me feel better. I'm sorry for forcing you to break your plans with your friends."
"I don't mind. You needed me."
"Stay with me," he begged. "Don't leave me alone."
"Never," I promised. "I'll never leave you."
____________
I woke up without any of the immediate shock I typically experienced after having a vivid memory-inducing dream. I rolled over in bed and looked out the window. I could see the tops of nearby buildings and the rays of a bright winter sun. For a few minutes before having to get out of bed and get ready for work, I allowed myself to fantasize about the dream. I pictured myself lying on the sofa in Harry's arms all over again. I thought about his weak smile and shaking hands and warm body. I thought about what it was like to be needed by someone.
I dreamed about Harry many times over the course of two weeks. It wasn't always dreams that came while I was sleeping. Daydreams caught me while I was at work or cooking at home or riding the bus or shopping. The faintest smell, the quickest sight, the smallest touch all triggered thoughts of Harry. I knew without really knowing that each dream was a memory slowly returning to me. The memories made me want him more. I wanted him badly. I wondered if I was trapped. Was I sentenced to life of reliving beautiful memories of the boy I loved without ever having him again? Are all the memories going to return, but Harry never will?
____________
I watched the minute hand on the clock in my office tick forward. I was counting down the minutes until I could go home. I wanted to catch up on reality television and go to bed early. Work had been stressful during the preparation for Zayn's new album launch. The office was tense and the work was demanding. A bit of a rest was so tempting.
The phone on my desk began ringing loudly, snapping me back to reality. I lifted the phone and balanced it between my shoulder and ear while I shook the mouse on my computer to wake it up. "This is Kate."
"Kate! It's me, babe. How are you?" Alessandra's voice was like water in a desert. I hadn't spoken to her in weeks.
"Alessandra? I'm well. And you?"
"Absolutely brilliant! Tour is over and so we have a lot more free time on our hands. How about you meet the girls and me downtown tonight. It's been ages since we've spent any time together and we miss you terribly!"
The offer sounded good. I wanted to spend time with my friends after such a long time in isolation. I wanted to get out in the city. I was tired of my nightly routine of self-pity before bed and then a guaranteed dream about my ex-boyfriend. "What time?"
"Does that mean you're coming?"
"Yes," I smiled. "What time do you want to meet up?"
"Nine! Meet us at Pierre's at nine. Don't be late!"
"I'll be there," I laughed.
"I'm so glad you're coming," she gushed. "I really do miss you. I miss my best friend."
"I miss you, too."
"See you tonight, babe. Love you."
____________
I had never been to Pierre's before, according to my limited memory. I walked into the restaurant and quickly realized I had been wrong in assuming it was a new, trendy pub. Instead, I walked into a fancy restaurant. It looked more like a place Harry would take me than a place my single friends would want to hang out.
"Are you meeting someone?" the hostess asked nicely.
"Yes, I'm meeting a few friends. They might be under the name Alessandra."
"Ah, Alessandra. The table is right this way," the hostess nodded toward the back of the restaurant.
Alessandra, Natalia, Tory, and Jill were seated around a table. Glasses of water had already been poured and a basket of bread had already been attended to. The sight of my friends was a good. I had missed them and my old job badly.
"You look so thin!" Jill gasped. "Your clothes are hanging off you!"
I looked down. My dress had a little extra room in it. I hadn't been eating regularly since Harry and I broke up. I had been too busy filling my life with distractions.
"But, like, you look really good!" Natalia added.
"Right! You look fit," Jill blushed slightly. "I didn't mean to make it sound like...well, you know what I mean. You look good."
"Hi, everyone," I giggled.
"We have missed you too much for words," Tory gushed. "Work has been torture without you. Now all of us have to do the difficult jobs," she pouted playfully.
"Tell us about Hendrix and Carter! I have a cousin who was dying for a job there right out of uni, but didn't get it." Alessandra smirked.
"I miss you all, too! And I miss working for One Direction. My new job is actually really nice. It's good hours and we have some great clients. My job can be a little boring some days, but we have a new project at work keeping us busy."
"What project?" Jill asked.
I wasn't allowed to disclose any details about Zayn's launch. "It's for some company. It just started." I sipped my water and willed the conversation to change.
"That's good. You sound happy," Natalia smiled.
I'm not. I can't be. How can I be happy when the love of my life thinks I hate him? "It's been a good change. How was the tour ending?"
"Things got really rough while the boys were in Hong Kong. Harry got really sick. He was stuck in bed for a few days," Alessandra started.
I frowned at them as they told the story of Harry getting ill in China. None of the girls seemed to know that I had been flown in to see him. That meant it was a secret that I had gone to Hong Kong to help Harry. I shifted uncomfortably in my seat, "That sick, huh?"
"Yeah, but I guess he got better. He performed in Hong Kong, but then had another breakdown in New Zealand. He was really upset. He's just been sort of...off. The Perth and Brisbane shows were hard for him too. I wonder what's been upsetting him," Tory said.
"Maybe he's seeing someone else," Alessandra said coldly.
"He's not," I said too fast. All the girls' eyes locked on me. "I mean, at least I don't think so. He hasn't been seen around with anyone."
"He's hardly been seen around at all," Natalia shrugged.
"Enough talk about Styles," Alessandra huffed. She was still very protective of me after the breakup. "Kate, we actually lured you here to propose something."
The girls grinned secretively. "Oh?"
"You see, we have a couple of weeks off between now and December thirteenth when One Direction starts a short series of Christmas performances in the UK and then the US," Tory said.
"Okay," I replied.
"We are going to Los Angeles for a few weeks. We want to get out of London and go be in warm weather. But it just wouldn't be right without you with us," Natalia smiled.
"So take some time off work!" Jill added.
"What do you say, babe?" Alessandra smiled pleadingly. "We are going to get some sun and get away from all of this," she waved her hand around.
"I don't know," I mumbled.
"Think about it," Natalia began a description of sun, palm trees, and a trip without drama.
It would be just what I needed. I longed to distance myself from Harry. I needed space to let my heart heal fully. Four months apart and I was still wholly attached to the love I shared with him. I had ruined everything by letting fear and uncertainly tarnish everything good and solid we had built together. I had silenced my feelings and ignored Harry when he tried to repair us. Now that I was ready to get together again, it was too late.
"Let's do it," I nodded. "Let's go to California. Let's get away."
"Really?" Tory exclaimed.
"Yes. I need to get away from London. I'll get work off. Things with the new project won't really be picking up until the end of the year anyway. Let's just go." I sat back in my chair and smiled.
"This is incredible. We'll be together again!"