Just eat

Part 5- dinner

Dan's POV
My skin is now much paler than before, my hair is duller and my eyes don't have that bright gleam that they used to anymore. Phil noticed straight away when it started happening but I told him that I was feeling poorly and I'd be better soon. This opened my eyes though so now I go in the sun whenever I can  to get colour in my skin and I started using eyes drops to make my eyes more moist and made it look like they had a bit more colour in them. I can't risk Phil knowing.
"Hey, Dan, my parents are in town for the night, do you fancy coming to dinner with us?" Phil asks walking into the room
"You don't want me intruding on a family night, you go have a nice time with your parents" I told him trying to get out of it, I obviously said it with a smile but the last thing I need right now is a meal in a restaurant with everyone watching me, they'd probably judge me on how fat I am.
"They insisted, Dan, they really want to see you again" Phil told me. I smile at him, surely it can't be too hard to hide the fact I'm not eating, right? If I order something small and put it in a napkin when no one is watching it'll all be okay. I'll just push it around my plate and distract them.
"Oh okay, how can I say no to you?" I say. I had to make sure Phil was happy, I'll do whatever it takes for him to be happy and distract him from my misery. Phil shot a warm smile towards me. I got up off the sofa very slowly because I've learnt from previous days that even getting out of bed or off the sofa too fast can make me very dizzy.
"I'm off to take a shower then" I say giving Phil a big hug
"Okay! I told them we'd meet them at 6pm" Phil said with his big smile still plastered on his face. I could tell how happy Phil was to see his family again, Phil has always been very family oriented and I've never seen him happier than when he's with his family. I think his family was the first to know we were dating and they were so happy and supportive. I left and walked down the stairs and went for the shower. I wasn't going to look in the mirror, I couldn't bring myself to do it . I can't see my fat in the mirror, not yet, not until all this puffy fat is gone, I hate myself. I tried my best not to look in the mirror, I really did, but what can I say, curiosity got the best of me. And as always curiosity killed the cat because I didn't see what I wanted to. I wanted to be thin but I'm not. If anything I'm bigger than before. I don't understand what is happening, maybe it was the handful of popcorn that I did have while watching that movie with Phil. I couldn't allow myself to any food tonight, or tomorrow, or the day after that, I don't deserve food.
          Dinner with Phil's family went alright, I guess. I managed to get all my food into my napkin and the few little bits around my plate to make it look empty. I sipped on a glass of water all night and entertained myself by talking to Phil's parents all night by asking them lots of questions and just catching up in general I guess. If I'm honest dinner with Phil's family was easier than I thought because before I knew it I was excusing myself to dispose of my napkin. It actually felt really good, if I could get away with not eating food in a restaurant I could definitely get away with not eating food in the flat.