I wish there a way to make things less awkward between us while driving home.
I did want to kiss Luke back, really, but something deep down was still afraid of getting hurt.
What if I did kiss Luke and what if we started dating? Then say we get in a fight or something and we break up and we'll never be able to be around each other and we our friends hangout they'll have to be in separate rooms because me and Luke couldn't stand to be in the same room as each other and we'll live out the rest of our days hating each other!!! Yes, I tend to over think.
With all the weird things that have been happening with Luke, I sometimes wonder if he's not the guy I think he is. But how could he? I'm just not seeing him as a bad guy. So why should it matter what other people are saying?
"Luke?" I ask in a quiet tone.
"Yeah?" He answers, keeping his eyes on the road.
"I'm really sorry about what happened."
"Aw you don't have to apologize. It was my fault. I shouldn't have tried to kiss you so fast." He takes quick glances at me and then back at the road.
"If it's cool with you I'd love to go out again?" I say with hopeful eyes.
"I'd like that too. Maybe you could come to band practice this weekend?" I nodded at him comment because that meant I would get to hear the guys play, which I have wanted hear ever since I met them.
"So I get ill see you at school tomorrow and after school since I'm working." I say remembering I had work after school tomorrow.
"Oh yeah! Umm I'll pick you up?" He asks in a sort of question.
"Okay." I nod.
"Okay cool. Later beautiful!" He says with an adorable grin.
Once again I wait until I can no longer see his car before running back home.
"Oh hey Soph." I'm greeted by Tate at the front door.
"Heyyy." I simply say with a smile on my face.
"Didn't you forget something?" He asks and I suddenly remember.
"Oh my gosh. Tate I forgot to pick you up again. I am so sorry." I get lower myself down so we're eye level. I can't believe I forgot again. I promised and I never break promises.
"It's okay." He says not even looking at me. I felt terrible.
"Are you sure?"
"Y-Yeah." He says still looking at the ground. I give him a hug and apologize once again.
I could tell he wasn't happy with me by the look on his face. I just got distracted with Luke.
When I woke up the next morning I made sure to tell Tate exactly what to do after school.
"Ok Tate, I have work today so that means you need to go to your friends house today." I say, throwing my backpack in over my shoulder. He didn't seem to enthusiastic about it.
"Is something wrong?" I ask.
"No but it's just that..... I never see you anymore. You're always out with or friends or at work." I hadn't noticed how upset Tate was and I felt terrible.
"I'm so sorry. Tell you what, how about this Saturday is just you and me?" He smiled at the idea which made me feel better.
Luke was waiting at the gate, as usual but I noticed he wasn't in his car but at the front gate.
I sneak in through my usual spot and run to meet him with the gate door in between us.
"W-What are you doing?" I ask him in a panicked voice.
"You weren't here when I got here so I thought I'd ask for you." He says pointing to the speaker where you can request to see people who live in the apartments.
"They said they had no idea who you were...." He looked at me with a confused expression.
"O-Oh yeah. They still don't have all our information cause ya know we still just moved here." Nice save Soph.
I begin climbing the fence as I usually do considering I don't have the code to get in or out.
"Oh okay." I hated lying to him but what would he think of me if he found out where I really lived? Compared to his house I live in a ditch. He would never want to talk to me again.
"Why do you always do that?" He asks me with a cute little grin.
"I told you, it's a lot more fun that way." Yeah that and you don't have the fucking code.
"You uh look pretty today." He awkwardly says making me blush.
"Really? Well thank you. You do too. I mean not like pretty but just– not that you aren't pretty because you are...but like in a manly way." Dear Neptune Sophie, shut up.
Luke just giggled causing me to do the same.
"Thanks." He said. I knew he was feeling uncomfortable and I was too. Last night was amazing and I'm glad Luke wasn't mad that I refused to kiss him. I felt bad but I know I did the right thing. For one thing that was our first real date and there was also Rosemary and Layla telling me don't do it in the back of my mind and I couldn't shut them up.
"Can I talk to you about something?" Luke asks, keeping his eyes on the road.
"Course." I answer.
"I hope you don't think that I'm trying to rush into anything because of what happened last night. It's just you looked so beautiful and I couldn't help myself. I'm really sorry if you felt uncomfortable." He says taking short glances at me.
"It's fine, Luke. I had a great time and I'd love to do it again sometime." I smile.
"Good because you're coming over tomorrow." I look at him, surprised that he didn't even ask me but I honestly didn't care.
"Well alright then. Do I finally get to hear that talented band of yours?" I ask giving Luke a cheeky smile.
"Ha, funny! But yeah and Rosemary, Layla, and Cammy will be there too." He says pulling into the school parking lot.
"Okay see you at lunch, gorgeous." He added before we went our separate ways.
As I was walking into school these girls were looking at me and whispering. I'm guessing they saw me and Luke together. I hated that feeling of walking past people and you know they're talking about you. I ignored it and kept walking until I saw Rosemary.
"Hey girl!" She greets me.
"Heyy. " I say still sounding uneasy about what happened back there.
"What's up?" She asks noticing my actions.
"Rose, I'm gonna be straight with you since we're friends I– We are friends right?" I asked because I hadn't really had real friends before.
"Of course, Sophie!"
"Okay cool well anyway, I really really like Luke. I'm sorry but I just can't keep this from you. I know you don't us to be together but I'm pretty sure he likes me too, and I've never had a real boyfriend before and now I–"
"Wait!" She interrupts me.
"Luke....asked you...to be his....girlfriend?" She asks taking pauses.
"Well...no but I just assumed that–"
"Sophie, how do I put this? Luke is not the umm the boyfriend type." She says and I could tell she was really trying to be a friend to me but I wish she would just be happy for us.
"What do you mean?"
"Let's just say, Luke goes on dates but does not have girlfriends." She says causing me to question if what I had with Luke was even a relationship.
"Maybe I could change that." I say trying to defend myself as well as Luke but deep down I was worried.
"Maybe??" Rosemary says with a guilty look.
"Sophie, since I'm your friend you do know I'm just trying to look out for you, don't you? I just don't want to see you getting hurt too?" She says placing a hand on my shoulder.
"Too? What do you mean, too?" I ask and she suddenly yanks her hand back.
"Nobody. I mean nothing." She says acting like she didn't even say that.
Okay not that I've already mentioned it but I'm done with all the secrets. It's driving me crazy and I don't know how much longer I can pretend to not care.
// YALL I AM SO SORRY I HAVENT UPDATED IN FOREVER ITS JUST SCHOOL AND LIFE IN GENERAL HAS BEEN A LOT RIGHT NOW.//