"So what information did you get on Legrenzi yesterday?" I asked falteringly as Luke took a seat opposite me, setting two plates onto the metal-embroidered table. The plates were stacked with an array of snack foods, my stomach uttering greedily at the sight. Luke looked somewhat displeased with my question as he sighed heavily, knowing that it wasn't his place to tell me. "Sorry, I shouldn't have asked."
"I'm really not supposed to be telling you anything, which ridiculous is considering that you're at the heart of this," he huffed, sliding a plate my way. "But it was some information on his whereabouts; he's been spotted in New York, presumably to ransack our- the apartment."
"Do you think that they'll find anything?"
"There's nothing to important that we left, I made sure that I took all of the files with us," he replied, pausing a moment as if going through a check list in his mind. "Plus we didn't know that we were coming here until we'd left and were on the road."
I simply nodded my head, my mind racing throughout vast lanes of fright and concern for what the future holds. Everything had been so on the move recently that I hadn't had chance to properly sit down and think through the situation that we were in. "Do you think that we're going to get out of this?"
"Adelaide," Luke sighed, his face dropping. "I'm going to do everything in my power to make sure that you get through this alive."
"What if that isn't the best option though?" My demeanour remained strong and confident, though I felt nothing of the sort.
"What do you mean? All of this is for your safety," he stressed, gesturing to the house with his hands.
"I know it is, but what I'm trying to say is, is this worth the effort? Everyone here is working around the clock to keep me safe, but for what? I mean you haven't even been home in what five or six months?"
"I haven't been home in a long time Adelaide," he admitted in a low tone, his voice quiet and humble while he fidgeted with his fingers restlessly. "Even before all of this had started."
I repeatedly attempted to open my mouth to say something, though nothing came out, no words being appropriate enough to formulate a response. "That doesn't matter though, what does is your safety."
"Why though?" I questioned sharply. "We can't just keep running, they'll find us eventually."
"I know we can't and I agree with you. But we don't know what they want you for, we can't just hand you over. I won't let them hand you over," he argued, grimacing.
"It might be for the best though-"
"Adelaide," Luke cursed, his temper wearing scarily thinner as the seconds passed. "We're not falling out over this okay?" His eyes cast back to the food in front of him, his head dropping as his fingers discarded a napkin. "What do you want to do this afternoon then?" His cheerful tone was back within an instant, a grin inflating his face.
I offered a smiled back, not daring to breech our previous conversation again. "I was actually thinking about having a go at driving?"
"Driving?" He inquired. "Driving where?"
"I mean like just in the driveway."
"You want to spend the afternoon driving around the driveway?" He remarked sarcastically, confused by my questionable request.
I sighed, placing my glass down after taking a sip of my water. "I haven't driven since the accident, so I want to give it a go. You know, see if I can stimulate any memories."
Luke nodded after finally understanding what I had been trying to say. "Okay, I guess we can do that, if you feel comfortable with it."
"I want to, honest." I smiled in encouragement; my thoughts were a mix of both determination and hesitancy.
After looking down at my empty plate he spoke once more, "You okay to do it now?" I nodded, pulling myself to my full height, helping Luke carry the dishes into the kitchen.
My mother sat at the table, a magazine perched in front of her as she welcomed us both warmly. "What have you two been up to?"
"We've just had a bite to eat, now we're going for a drive," I stated as Luke set the plates into the dishwasher, closing it shut shortly after.
"Drive where?" My mother questioned, her eyes holding both fields of curiosity and hesitancy.
Luke smirked, leaning his hands back to rest on the work top before answering, "Around the driveway apparently." I flung my arm his way, slapping him gently on the arm as he laughed, his hand flying to his stomach as he crouched over, while my mother watched in pure confusion.
"I ugh, haven't driven since you know, the accident," I explained. "So I wanted to give it a try."
"Oh," she simply said, offering a somewhat forced smile. "Are you sure Adelaide? I don't want it causing any trauma."
"I need to do it sooner or later; I mean I've been absolutely fine in the car as a passenger so."
"But driving might bring back some rather vivid images from the night," she explained sensitively.
Luke stepped forward, addressing her. "Julie, like Adelaide said, she needs to do this and it might be a good thing to get the memories from the night of the accident back," he persuaded. "We'll take it slow, she'll be fine, I'll make sure of that."
My mother turned to face me, her worry evident in her features as her face creased up. "You be careful Adelaide." I nodded, promising to do so as Luke took a step forward, ushering me along as he took my hand.
My fingers clenched around the gelatinous wheel, my sense pads adjusting to the foreign feeling considerably quickly. The pedals provided a platform for my feet to settle against, my eyes darting across the dashboard once the car had been brought to life, the engine grumbling as I turned they ignition key. I adjusted the rear view mirror, catching sight of Luke while it lingered between us, my hand gliding it in a position that enabled me to see behind the car.
"Are you sure that you want to do this?" Luke questioned for what seemed like the hundredth time. I disdained his comment, pushing my back further into the chair while taking note of our surroundings. The car had been deposited between two other solid black vehicles, congregating with a capacious amount of cars to formulate a long row stretching down the length of the drive.
With the engine running, I launched my foot onto the clutch, deviating my hand from the wheel and to the gear stick, shifting its position into reverse. "Adelaide, can I at least reverse it for you?" Luke interjected, the uneasiness he was evidently feeling, dripping from his words.
"Luke, I'm fine honestly," I repeated, flicking my eyes between the mirrors before releasing the clutch gradually while easing onto the accelerator. The car began rolling backwards, my hands working to turn the car at an angle as it edged out of its parking spot. My mind searched recklessly for any mixed feelings about driving the car, along with memories or images, though I only found an endless void. I continued driving, swinging the car around to advance down the driveway. I felt Luke's eyes burning holes in my cheeks as he watched me, his left elbow leaning onto the car door, so that his head could fall lazily onto his palms. "I feel fine, why do I feel fine?"
"What kind of question is that?" Luke retorted, raising his head. "It's a good thing surely?"
"It's not affecting me, I'm driving fine?" I kept my eyes on the road, waiting for any sight, sound or smell to cause a relapse of memories to flush throughout my mind.
"Adelaide, I don't know what you're trying to say," his voice rose in a battle with the aggrandized sound of the engine as I accelerated the car down the driveway. "Like you said you can drive without an issue."
"That's the problem!" I screeched, my anger boiling at an uncontrollable rate, my foot slamming onto the accelerator, forcing the distance between us and the stoned driveway to elongate with everyone second that passed by.
"Adelaide!" Luke hollered back, his voice assertive. "You need to slow down!" My mind refused to auscultate his words as his voice drowned out into a mist of sound. "Adelaide!" He repeated as my eyes scanned toward the controls, our cars speed outdistancing one hundred miles per hour at an ease. "Adelaide! Are you trying to get us killed?" The sheer terror in his voice was only partially concealed by his volume, the sound bouncing around the walls of the car. I had wanted to stop, to cease the panic he was going through but that action was out of my reach, my mind not giving my limbs to authorization to come to a halt.
His screams continued; a succession of screeches leaving his throat in an attempt to make me stop, but I'd lost control. He had attempted to reach out to me, his fingers griping against my arm, but I simply shrugged out of his hold, pressing harder and harder onto the accelerator. "Adelaide! Stop! This isn't safe!" The car was designed for the speed we were going at, the abrupt getaways requiring a vehicle of this kind. As for the dust roads, with their repetitive meandering, the car couldn't have been any less suited. A cloud of dust flung around the car as the dirt below us collected onto the windshield obscuring my view further. "What the hell are you doing!" He bellowed, trying to pry my fingers from their grip on the wheel, though this only fastened their hold further, the rest of my body rigid and my eyes remaining stationary.
Up ahead, less than a hundred feet, a sharp corner came into view. By Luke's gasp and shriek of horror, I knew he was aware that at this speed, the car wouldn't make it out in one piece. I kept driving, my subconscious not giving my body another option. My mind screamed internally in a begging for a release on the pedal, but it wouldn't give in. It kept pushing.
"Adds!" At the sound of his cry, my left foot slammed onto the break, the car smashing to a stop after a deafening screech of tires, forcing my head to be flung forward onto the steering wheel.
Despite the throbbing in my skull, I hurled my head to the side where Luke lay back into the seat, taking slow, deep breaths, his hand clinging to his chest. "What did you just say to me?" My voice was low and croaky, almost as if the screaming I had done in my head had been out load.
"Anything in my god damn mind to try and get you to stop!" He seethed as his eyes flung open, his face overridden with rage. "What the hell was that?"
My mouth opened on multiple occasions, trying to spit out any words in grasp, but my throat held them back, forcing my mouth shut. There were no sentences that could explain what had just happened, never mind why. A few incoherent words carved their way out of my mouth before I eventually obtruded out two words that were considerably meaningless at this moment in time but were all I had to say. "I'm sorry," I whispered, my head hanging low in shame.
Luke shuffled, undoing his seatbelt and reaching for the door handle. "Let me drive," he said simply, not a single emotion being obtainable from his words. I heaved myself from the seat, making my way around to the other side of the car, my shoulder brushing Luke's in the process though I refused to meet his gaze.
Once I was seated, he backed up the car, spinning it around so that we were once again facing home. A single tear fell down my cheek, a wall being built immediately to prevent the rest that threatened to flow down. My mind had refused to let any part of me be upset over something that I had caused without a single thought being spared for the undeserving boy that reached to clasp my hand within his own.
The familiar sound of our car rolling over the ivory stones of the driveway was the only indication that we were home, my eyes fixated straight ahead as they had been the entire journey back, yet I wasn't seeing anything, just a blank void as my eyes unfocused themselves from the surroundings. My entire exterior was rigid; the small circles that Luke's thumb traced over my hand caused a feeling that remained absent from my senses.
The car eventually came to a stop, the engine being cut out as Luke removed the key. I had expected him to leave the car, and for my eyes to linger on his tall, lean body as he stalked up the driveway without a look back, however, he remained seated, turning to face me slightly as I sat motionless.
"Adelaide," he murmured softly, tugging on my hand. "Are you going to tell me what happened back there?" He waited patiently for a response, though I wouldn't give him one, my ears listening intently to his words, but my mind being elsewhere. "Adelaide, talk to me."
"I don't know what to say," I stated, removing my hand from his own, only for him to snatch it back almost immediately. My eye line focused onto a discarded tree in the distance, hanging over a stone wall that ran along the captivating horizon until it was no longer visible to the human eye. "I don't even know how to begin to explain what happened, I mean I don't even know myself."
The car fell silentious for a few moments before Luke spoke again, his voice courteous toward my fragile state, "I'm not mad at you Adelaide, I'm angry at myself for shouting at you like I did once you had stopped the car."
"Please don't apologise," I argued, finally tilting my head towards him. He sat facing me, his body twisted in the seat as his eyes watched me cautiously. "I should be the one apologising; I completely lost control back there."
"Do you want to talk about it?" He questioned tentatively.
"I was frustrated," I began, arching my body to face him. "I'd expected to get into the driver's seat and to be able to recount the night of the accident, but nothing happened. No memories, no images, no nothing." I paused for a moment, collecting my thoughts. "So I increased the car speed, trying to mimic what it may have been like in the crash, but still nothing." Luke was watching me intently, following my ever word. "That was when I lost it, my subconscious wouldn't listen, neither would the rest of my body. I begged and begged for it to stop, but it didn't, not until you shouted Adds."
"Why'd you think that made you stop?" His voice was inquisitive, wanting to get to the bottom of what had just happened.
"I think-" I stumbled before continuing, "I don't know." I had know exactly why it had made me stop, with the nickname being one that had been repeated many a time in my night horrors. "I really am sorry Luke."
He nodded, unclasping his seatbelt. "I'm just glad that you're okay," he admitted. "Now com' on, we should head inside, it's getting late."
The wood blazed among the fires intensifying heat, whips of ash circulating the glimmering flames in rotations until they were eventually ingurgitated once again. Warmth stroked against my cheeks, the fires close proximity providing my body with an internal warmth that I couldn't provide. I pushed my hands forward, my fingertips being tickled by the heat as the russet blaze crackled and spat into the pool of firewood encasing it. A subtle smoke fled from the fire, weaving up through the chimney that was framed by a timber fireplace.
I leaned my back onto the bottom of the sofa, my legs crossed as I cushioned myself into the carpet, rubbing my hands between one another in an attempt to gain my body some more heat. The sudden drop in temperate, a contrast to the previous few days, was a sign that winter was fast approaching, the months of autumn already evident on the panorama surrounding the house.
At the sound of a presence, I tilted my head toward the door, tugging a tartan blanket around my body. Luke padded into the room, a titian glow reflecting over his eyes immediately, one side of his face smothered by the dim lighting in the room, the other radiating with an auburn glow.
"Hey," he murmured, his voice as it had been since we had arrived home, tender and quiet. He stepped his feet over numerous objects littering the floor, the majority of which were cushions and throws that he had brought down to me. "Have this," he said, motioning to a mug that he had trapped between his hands. I reached for the mug, as he crouched in front of me, his hands clasping over mine in the process. "Will you be alright? I'd stop but I have a shift in a couple of minutes."
"I'll be okay," I responded, smiling slightly at his persistent fretting.
"If you need me just give me a shout, okay?" He whispered, leaning to place a lingering kiss on my forehead before standing up and promptly leaving the room, closing the door on his way out.