ORIGINALLY WRITTEN: MARCH 31ST, 2016
GIF OF: OUR FANTASIES OF GRIFF AND CARSON
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
His t-shirt still lies crumpled on the carpeted floor of my bedroom.
As soon as I woke, I searched every inch of the house to see if Griffyn was still here. When my search came up empty, the heavy feeling in my chest intensified, leaving me in a bad mood.
I checked on my mom and set a bowl of dry cereal on her bedside table as she slept. Hopefully she'd see it when she woke up.
And now I'm stuck in my bedroom doorway, staring at the floor. I know it's not a big deal and I shouldn't just stare at it like a depressed ex-girlfriend, but I do it anyway.
He'd asked to stay with me and I agreed. And then I had the dream and kicked him out of my bed because of the fears my dreams had brought me, despite the knowledge that he'd never left me before. Guilt eats away at my insides and I banish the thoughts from my mind
It doesn't matter now.
I did the right thing.
It had to be done.
As much as I tell myself these things, the guiltier I become.
Finally, I walk forward and pick up the t-shirt. I fold it and set it on my desk, deciding that I'll head straight over to Griffyn's house in order to return his shirt. And then I'll hang out with Parker.
But first I'll need to take a shower.
"What do you mean, he doesn't want to see me?"
"I mean, he just told me to ignore you if you came over. I don't know why. He didn't really give me any reasons." Parker tells me. Her eyes widen the slightest bit in innocence, letting me know that she's telling the truth. I don't know why she'd lie to me about this, anyway.
I huff and let the tension out of my muscles. Whatever he's mad about now will blow over soon enough. It's not like me kicking him out of my room was such a big deal anyway. He's probably just mad that I woke him up and he lost sleep.
"Do you want to go to my room?" Parker asks, trying to fill in the silence. "I can make some pizza rolls and meet you there."
My stomach growls on cue, clearly yearning for those pizza rolls she mentioned. I find myself nodding without any more persuasion. "Pizza rolls sounds good. I'm going to head towards your room."
Parker nods in response and heads to the kitchen.
I head towards the back hallway where the bedrooms are located. Parker's is the first on the left, Griffyn's next, and at the end of the hallway, their parents' bedroom.
I debate walking past Parker's room and checking in on Griffyn in his room decide that that wouldn't be the best thing to do. Still, I find myself walking past her open doorway, headed straight for Griffyn's closed one. I haven't even made it to his door when his door swings open and he comes barreling out.
Straight into me.
I yelp and almost fall to the floor after the collision, but his hands find my elbows to stabilize me. I give him a smile as I glance up at him, but he frowns back. He quickly removes his hands from my arms.
"Sorry," he mutters. He looks past me and tries to skirt around me quickly to make a beeline for the front door, but I stop him, glancing down at the bag in his hand. It's not a baseball bag or his school bag, so I have no clue as to what it's for.
"It's fine. Where are you going?" I ask, gesturing towards the bulging bag hanging from his shoulder. His fingers tighten on the strap ever so slightly, but I catch it. It's a sign of discomfort. He doesn't want to talk to me.
"I'm headed to Wes' house." He states, still looking past me in order to ignore looking me in the eyes. I have the urge to roll my eyes at his behavior, but that wouldn't help his mood, so I refrain from doing so. Then he says, "Where I'm actually wanted."
His jab referring to last night stings more than I want it to. I almost reach up to grasp at my heart as if the pain in my heart was real. I stop myself barely. "I'm sorry about that," I say as softly as I can. "I didn't mean anything by it. Really."
Finally, Griffyn looks down. His eyes soften a little when they meet mine and I can tell he wants to forgive me, but he quickly regains control and frowns harder at me. I almost sigh. I almost had him. "Don't worry about me. I got the message loudly and clearly last night."
I frown, not quite grasping his words. What message does he think I was trying to convey last night? I'm about to ask him that same question, but he mutters a quick goodbye and walks away before I can get the words out.
I stare after him, still confused. The smell of his cologne still lingers in the air. I recognize the scent. I picked it out for him, in fact. And... I realize, he only wears it when he goes out. He wouldn't put it on just to go over to Wes' place.
My cheeks become hot and I clench my fists as tears bite at my vision. I thought there were no lies in our friendship. Apparently, I thought wrong. He's lying to me about where he's going.
Parker picks this time to come clomping down the hallway. She catches sight of me fuming in the hallway between the doorway of her room and the doorway Griff's. "Oh, hey... You look mad."
I try to force a reassuring smile onto my face, but I'm almost positive that it looked more bitter than sweet. "Parker, you didn't go to that party at Kayla Romberg's did you?"
Parker gulps visibly. "I know I said I would, but I... I didn't feel up for it. So... no I didn't."
My fake smile starts to transform into a real one, causing her to loosen up and look less nervous. "Okay, Park. Do you feel up for a party, now?"
"I can't believe that I'm wearing this," Parker complains nervously, pulling at the hem of the tube dress I'd made her put on. "I'm starting to miss my slacks."
I snort and turn, raising my eyebrows at her. "Okay, I know these dresses aren't the most comfortable clothes in the world, but you look hot. Isn't that more important comfort?
"No, absolutely not," she says firmly, shaking her head. When I glare at her, she backtracks and fixes her answer. "Oh! I mean, um, sure?"
I smirk and grab her by the elbow. "Better answer. Just relax and calm down. It'll be fine. Maybe you'll get yourself a boyfriend, yeah?"
Parker laughs for real this time. "Yeah, like that'd happen. That's like saying you'll end up with my brother!" She starts to laugh harder, finding that funny for some reason. I try not to feel offended that she thinks Griff and I would make a ridiculous couple and fake a laugh in response. Before I can really get into thinking about why I was offended by her statement, Carolina pulls up.
I'd texted Carolina earlier, warning her to be nice because I invited Parker to come along, but that doesn't stop Carolina from giving Parker an icy stare filled with hostility as we near the car and hop in.
Penelope is already sitting in the front, so I get stuck sitting in the back seat in between ever-quiet Alesha and Parker who's bouncing around nervously like she just had three cans of RedBull. Which she didn't. And I'm grateful she didn't.
The car ride is tense and Carolina keeps the music high enough so that we can all avoid talking. Alesha doesn't seem to mind, as always. Though, Penelope looks a bit constipated trying to keep her mouth shut. She probably has a bunch of dumb, but hilarious comments to make. And then there's Parker who looks like she's about to pass out.
As soon as we get to the house where the party is taking place, she's the first to hop out. She's practically hyperventilating and is fanning her face with her hands. "Oh, geez. This is why I don't like parties. I'm antisocial! I shouldn't be here! Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god. I'm going to die, I'm going to--"
"You're not going to die!" I cut her off, rolling my eyes and giggling at her overreacting. "It's going to be fine. Just calm down. Come on."
She still fans herself, but follows me with wide eyes that look petrified. We follow Carolina, Alesha, and Penelope through the yard and to the front door calmly. The outside of the house is plain brick and there are flowers planted in front of the house, giving it a calm, homey feel.
Then we enter the house and the chaos begins.
Parker loosens almost immediately when she automatically reaches for a glass of spiked punch and downs it all in one go. I stare at her in surprise. She must've been really anxious.
She leaves me without saying goodbye, probably catching sight of something -- or someone -- interesting on the other side of the room. I watch after her, shaking my head slightly. That girl needs to get out of the house more often.
I start to reach out for a cup of the punch, but stop myself. I'm the designated driver for tonight, as Carolina had texted to tell me earlier. And that means no drinking for me tonight.
I sigh and make my way over to one of the emptier couches. It's unoccupied other than a guy sitting on the arm of farthest end from me, making out with a girl who looks too young to even be here. I awkwardly avert my eyes and sit, watching countless carefree teens who look like they're having the time of their lives.
And then there's me. Sitting here alone on a couch which has probably seen better days and thinking the whole world must be against me.
"Now, what is a fine lady such as yourself doing sitting down while one of the best songs of the 90s is literally shaking this house?" A male voice speaks up from behind me as if answering my prayers to avoid loneliness.
I whip around and am met with the sight of a light brown haired guy who seems to be the same age as me, if not a little older. He sports a smirk on his face and wears the typical white tee and jeans combo that many boys like to try to pull off these days. His eyes are the most intriguing part about him though. They're not the same colors. One eye is a vibrant blue while the other is a deep brown. It's amazing to look at.
He chuckles when I don't answer. "I know. My eyes are creepy."
"No!" I exclaim way too loudly, causing myself to flinch. In a softer voice, "No, your eyes aren't creepy. They're actually amazing."
The boy's laugh chimes out again. At least he finds me amusing. I've totally ruined seeming smart after that outburst. "Thanks. I'm Brook, by the way."
I wrinkle my nose and take another long swig of my punch. "Brooke? Isn't that a girls' name?"
The boy smiles. He looks like he's holding back a laugh. He laughs a lot, I've noticed. "Not necessarily. It's actually B-R-O-O-K. No 'E.' Brook. Like a stream."
"Oh," I deadpan.
He must sense that I don't comprehend because he chuckles (like he does pretty frequently) and offers me a hand. "Want to dance? I don't think that this song should go to waste. It's a classic."
I don't recognize the song, but I take his hand all the same. He leads me to the makeshift dance floor which is actually someone's living room cleared of the furniture and leads me into a complex dance.
"Woah!" I exclaim, laughing as he spins and dips and turns me in ways I didn't know were possible. I've never really been a big dancer, but I can see the appeal now. It's so freeing, especially when you let a partner parade you around the dance floor. "You're pretty good at this, Brook."
Brook grins at me. "Yeah, I'm..." Red starts to flood his cheeks. A slow song comes on and he switches from the fast pace dance he'd been doing and starts to slow dance with me. "I'm kind of a dance instructor during the summer."
"That's so cool," I say. And I really mean it. Jobs have always scared me and I've never seen the appeal to those either. But dancing all the time, especially if he's this good at it? Seems like a blessing in disguise.
"Nah," Brook looks away, but still grins sheepishly. "It's just this silly part time job that gets me some money. The pay is good and it just holds me over."
Raising my eyebrows, I give him a disbelieving look. "With the way you dance, I have a hard time believing that it's just some silly job."
Brook bites his lip and doesn't say anything for a while. In his silence, I accidentally step on his feet a few times. Either he doesn't notice, or he doesn't mind, because he says nothing of it. "Okay, so maybe it's not a silly summer job."
I nod. I knew it. "Then why did you say it was? You shouldn't be embarrassed by it. It's actually really amazing that you can dance like you do."
Brook shrugs and meets my eyes. I'm once again stuck looking back and forth between his blue eye and his brown eye, still mesmerized. "My dad's huge on football... and a huge asshole by the way."
I laugh at the last part. "So...Your dad doesn't approve?"
Brook shrugs again. "Not really."
I get the feeling he doesn't want to talk about it anymore, so I drop the topic and don't ask anymore questions. After all, I am a girl he just met. He probably doesn't want to tell me his life story. Just like I wouldn't be comfortable telling him mine.
When his eyes snap back to mine, I'm startled. I hadn't noticed that I'd been staring at him as I was lost in thought. But now that I've been caught, I openly check him out with no shame, just like Carolina taught me this past summer.
The crowd in here is thick and the temperature is degrees higher than it was from the edge of the crowd, but I see no evidence of sweat among his features. His blue eye from up close is actually flecked with patches of green, making his eyes even more enchanting. And despite my efforts not to, my eyes flick down to his full lips that are slightly more pink that most guys.
My thoughts drift back to Griffyn even as I'm staring at the lips of another guy, making me feel guilty. I should just back out now and thank him for the dance, then leave before I make a mistake that I'll regret. And I start to do just that when a voice pops up in my mind, whispering to me.
"You're so hung up on Rivers." Carolina had said. "It's like he controls you."
"Don't worry about me." Griffyn had said.
Griffyn does not control me and I'm not hung up on him. I don't even need to worry about him. It's not like he thinks to tell me where he's really going. Why should I worry about a lying friend when he demonstrated that he could care less about worrying for me?
So, I do the only reasonable thing.
I lean in to kiss Brook.
I can hear his breath catch as I get closer. It's only when I'm inches away from his lips that he grabs my shoulders and wrenches me away from him. My eyes snap all the way open and my cheeks heat in embarrassment. I've never really been rejected before.
"I-" I start, but Brook cuts me off.
"What's his name?"
"I- What?" I ask. What is he talking about? He stares at me, completely serious. I stare back, wondering where his mind has gone. Who's name?
Brook sighs and leads me though the tight crowd of dancers and through the house. Finally, we break away and are outside of the house, on the back deck. Brook turns to me after he shuts the door behind us and stares at me intently. "What's this guy's name?"
"I-I have no idea what you mean!" I exclaim, taking a step back. I have no idea what the hell he's talking about.
Brook rubs a hand across his jaw and huffs. "I see I'm going to have to explain this to you slowly."
"You think?" I snap sarcastically. A conversation with a guy who not-so-nicely rejected me is not a conversation that I'd like to endure. The embarrassment only multiplies the longer I stand here in front of him.
Brook sits in one of the chairs on the deck and even though all I want to do is run away, I push away the feeling and sit down in the chair across from him. He looks at me with his multicolored eyes and starts to speak. "It's written all over your face. You're in love with... whoever this guy is."
"That's ridiculous! I'm not in love with anyone!" I protest, immediately standing up and getting frustrated. There hasn't even been any men in my life lately that I could possible have fallen for. Well, no one serious, anyway.
Brook looks at me almost sympathetically and I can tell he doesn't believe me. "You're in denial."
"You have no idea what you're talking about, Brook."
"I do."
"How are you so sure?" I ask, crossing my arms and glaring down at him.
He glances up and his eyes are filled with so much emotion that my arms fall from my chest and I sink into the seat in front of him, willing to listen. "Because the same thing happened to me."
I pout almost childishly and stare at him, still skeptical. Finally, I ask, "What's your story, then? How'd you become such an expert on lovers in denial?"
Brook seems reluctant to answer. As he does, my belief that he'd been telling the truth starts to dissipate. He must've seen that I was ready to bolt, though, because he sighs and launches into his story. "This past summer, I met a girl. Her name's Laurianne. Long story short, just because I was scared of her family, I'd denied any of my feelings for her."
"And that's how it ended?" I ask when he doesn't continue talking. "That's the worst story I've ever heard. And that's saying something, considering Griffyn is--" I cut myself off when I realize that I started to talk about Griff.
Brook starts to smirk, catching that small detail that I'd hoped that he'd missed. "That's his name isn't it? Griffyn?"
I glare at him and cross my arms over my chest once again. "Don't you need to tell me the rest of your story?"
Brook shakes his head, full on grinning now. "Nope. It's done it's job. You told me his name."
I glare even harder than I thought possible, causing Brook to chuckle. "I'm not in love with Griffyn. He's my best friend!"
Brook raises his eyebrows. "Denial won't get you anywhere. Friends fall in love too. Don't you get butterflies when you're around him? Do you get nervous? Do you analyze girls he talks to? Do you find ways to stay close to him?"
Silence is my only answer.
Butterflies? Check
Getting nervous? Check.
Find ways to stay close to him? Check.
Analyze girls he talks to? Double check.
In love with Griffyn?
Check.
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