"Until the flower of this love has blossomed, this heart won't be at peace. Give me your heart..."
-ZAYN, Mind of Mind, INTERMISSION: fLoWer
-
Both Niall and Zayn had been released from the hospital the next night, but the doctors had told them that they wanted to watch Liam for a few days. Niall had initially protested, saying that he could take care of Liam, that he was almost a nurse and that he knew what he was doing, but the doctors wouldn't have any of it. Zayn had actually been the one to persuade Niall out of it, but only after a few tries.
Now, all four of them were currently snuggled up together watching films on Zayn and Niall's big bed, Zayn taking the occasional thirty minute cat nap once every three or four hours. None of them had gotten much sleep since the car accident two days before (although Zayn seemed to have no problem with that), but that was to be expected when their son was all alone in the hospital.
Harry was happily bouncing up and down on Niall's lap in nothing but a dinosaur nappy, drooling all over the place. Niall handed him a cold rubber teething ring to suck on and sat up against the headboard.
"Dad?" Louis stood on his knees and looked down at his superhero pajama pants (courtesy of Zayn), and started playing with a loose string from the waistband.
"What's up, buttercup?" Niall responded. Zayn turned over onto his side in his sleep, grunted in pain, and turned onto his back again.
"When do you think Li will be back home?"
"I dunno, bud. Soon, though. Why? Do you miss him?"
Louis nodded softly. "Can we pick out presents for him for when he gets outta the hospital?" For as much as they bickered, Liam and Louis were inseparable, and had been, almost since the time they were born.
"Sure thing, Lou!" Niall reached out to pick at an imaginary dust bunny in his son's chestnut hair and flung it over the edge of the bed.
Louis smiled contentedly and Niall cooed when he saw that he was still missing his two front teeth.
"You hungry, love?" Niall asked and switched Harry's position so that he was laying down in Niall's arms. Harry started to fuss immediately, making Niall wince and stand him back up again.
"Mmm-hmmm," Louis nodded his head eagerly and clapped his hands. "I want dinosaur chicken nuggets!"
"Alright! Do you think we should wake Papa up for dinner?"
"Um," Louis paused as he thought. "Yes!"
"How should we do that, y'think?" Niall knew Zayn was awake now, but he was just being stubborn and was not getting up. He carefully cracked one eyelid open, his big, brown, doe eyes sparkling with mischief. The corner of Zayn's mouth quirked up into a sly grin before it fell and he pretended to go back to sleep again.
Before Niall could stop him, Louis had let out a wild shriek and jumped on Zayn's back, making him grunt in pain. Niall laughed in surprise and gently pushed his son away.
"I didn't mean like that, Lou!" Louis was now doubled over with laughter at his own prank, giggling until tears came to his eyes.
"How about this!" Niall grinned and handed Harry over to Louis, who had calmed down a little. Niall burrowed under the covers and snuggled up so close to his husband that their noses were only centimetres apart. He pressed three short little kisses to Zayn's lips, making him smile and draw Niall even closer.
Louis, who somehow managed to look completely horrified and disgusted at the same time, pulled a face and loudly yelled,
"EWWIE!" He pulled Harry close to his chest and covered his eyes, as if to protect him from the horrific sight of their parents kissing.
Niall pulled away as they both laughed.
"Sorry about him jumping on your back like that, babe. I didn't think Louis was going to do that!" He apologised.
"S'alright, Ni. Gotta get up sometime today anyway, might as well be now." Zayn sat up in bed and reached out for Harry, who did the same.
"Sorry about my breath, I haven't brushed my teeth since yesterday," Niall admitted.
"Honey," Zayn chuckled, "Sometimes we all have get breath that smells so bad it could kill a goat, but that won't make me love you any less, yeah?" Niall hummed and shrugged his shoulders, smiling so big his eyes squinted shut when Zayn kissed his cheek.
"Hey!" Louis interrupted, looking somewhat frustrated and all the way adorable, "I'm hungry!"
-
Zayn looked around at his incomplete family. It was so odd not to have Liam at the dinner table, filling the atmosphere with his radiant smile, contagious laughter and outrageous stories about what he had done that day at school. At dinnertime, Louis and Liam would take turns telling stories about their day, and Zayn and Niall would ask them questions about it in return.
Louis was now unusually quiet, and sat still in his seat, picking at the chicken nuggets he had thought he wanted. Zayn passed Niall a glance, telling him not to worry about Louis right then. He just knew Niall would pester Louis about what was bothering him until Zayn would have to intervene and tell Niall to leave him be for a bit. Niall let out a heavy sigh as he wiped the pureed peas off of Harry's cheeks and scooped up some more in the spoon.
Zayn pushed his plate away and gave his son a pointed look.
"Daddy was nice and made chicken nuggets for dinner just for you, Lou, the best you can do for him is eat them." Zayn knew Louis was having a bit of a hard time coping with Liam's absence too, and it was hard not having his little boy home where he knew Liam was safe and sound. It was starting to have an effect on all of them, but Zayn was taking it particularly hard.
"It's alright, Z. He doesn't have to if he doesn't want to," Niall stopped feeding the baby and cast a tired and annoyed glance at his husband across the table.
"You can be excused, love. Go and get your pajamas on." Niall wasn't feeling up to taking care of one of Louis' temper tantrums tonight, so he took the easy way out, fully-well knowing Zayn wasn't going to like him going against his wishes.
"Niall,-"
Niall cocked his eyebrow at Zayn, as if to say 'Don't argue with me'. Zayn threw his hands up in surrender and collected all three dirty plates to put in the dishwasher. Louis looked between his two parents and silently got down from his chair.
-
Niall leaned back against their bathroom counter and lazily crossed his arms, kicking his plastic boot up. Both Harry and Louis had been put to bed about an hour ago, and Zayn and Niall had stayed up to pick up the messy house for a little bit. Zayn started to remove his sweatshirt, picking his words carefully as he knew Niall was fragile at the moment.
"Niall, you know I don't like it when you go against me, especially when it comes to the boys," Zayn tossed his grey jumper in the dirty laundry basket and began to peel off his socks.
"I know," Niall scrubbed his face with the palms of his hands, something he did when he was tired. "I'm sorry." He stumbled through his apology and slumped his shoulders. "I'm just worried about Liam and it's getting to me, s'all."
Sympathy flashed across Zayn's face and he sat up, his chestful of tattoos on display. Even after years of loving him, Niall's breath still hitched at the sight.
"I am too, babe," Zayn sounded exhausted, and all Niall wanted to do was to take care of him until he felt better. "We all are. Sorry 'bout earlier. We all miss him, even Lou does, funnily enough."
Niall laughed wetly. "Listen to us! We're talking about him as if he's dead!"
Zayn had come close enough for him to hug his husband now, which is exactly what he did. He kissed his forehead, something he did often, and wrapped his husband tightly in his arms. Niall leant his head on Zayn's chest and listened to his steady heartbeat, relishing in Zayn's warmth.
"Let's go to bed. I'm exhausted." Niall shuffled over to the edge of the bed, still clinging to Zayn, and unlatched himself so Zayn could get in. Niall climbed in under the covers after him, and after setting his alarm for work in the morning, reached up to turn off the lamp as Zayn did the same.
"Sorry about going against you earlier. I know you don't like it when I do that, but I still did it," Niall pushed a leg through Zayn's and picked up his hand so he could play with his fingers.
"It's alright, my love. We're all just stressed out right now because of what happened," Zayn took his hand from Niall's grip and pushed the tiniest stray hairs behind his ear.
Niall looked up at him with a certain sadness in his eyes and glanced down again. Without Niall having to say anything, Zayn drew Niall to his chest and hugged him again. Niall's shoulders shook as he sobbed silently.
"Oh, doll," Zayn kissed Niall everywhere, trying to calm him down.
"I'm s-so worri-ed, Z-Z-Zayn!" He cried, "M-my baby is s-so s-scared and al-alone, and I-I ca-can't bring him home!"
Zayn pulled back so he could see Niall's blotchy face. He kissed his forehead and wiped the tears away as best he could with his thumbs.
"Niall, listen to me, my sunshine," Niall took a deep, shuddery breath and looked his husband in the eyes. "There's nothing that we can do right now. Liam is in the best hands possible; those doctors are doing the best they possibly can to make him better!"
Zayn smiled as he said this, hoping some of his optimism would shine down on Niall, who ironically would try to do the same thing for Zayn in a normal scenario. Unfortunately, it didn't work. Niall's bottom lip began to tremble again, and his eyes welled up with tears. He buried his face in Zayn's neck again and started to sob for the second time that night.
"I just want him home, Zayn!"
"I know babe, I know. We get him back tomorrow though, yeah?" Zayn said softly, trying a second approach to the situation.
"Yeah, I guess." Niall mumbled into his husbands shoulder. "I love you so much, Z. I just want you to know that, even if I am mean to you sometimes,"
"Niall Horan, as much as it would be a pleasure to have my heart broken by you, you could never, ever be mean to me. You're full of too much sunshine for that. Now go to sleep, babe, I'll be here when you wake up."
Eventually, after a few minutes of Zayn rubbing Niall's back and whispering encouraging words in his ear, Niall's quiet cries evened out into slow, steady breaths. Zayn kissed him one last time and pulled the blankets up to their shoulders.
Usually, when something bad happened like this, Niall would be the one saying encouraging things to others and trying to pick up the fallen pieces. Niall was the type of man to put everybody else before himself, to make sure everyone had food on their plates before he filled his. But he could only be strong for so long before everything went downhill, and he wouldn't be able to pick himself back up. That's when he felt most vulnerable, and thats when he needed to realise that he was important too.
That's where Zayn came in, because in the midst of trying to fix everyone else's problems, Niall forgot how to feel important.
-
i love y'all so frikkin much omg.
congratulations me, i just played myself by making myself cry at my own frikkin chapter. enjoy.
01.04.16