"Sorry Sensei." I whispered as I let my weight plummet forward and over the edge of the cliff.
The wind rushing up around my face and pushing my hair towards the sky that was growing further and futher away.
My hands rose above my head as I kept falling.
"KIYOMI!"
My name bounced off the cliffside and echoed within my mind.
I felt as a hand wrapped around my wrists as my body was brought to a abrupt hault.
I gasped as my eyes flew open, my head snapped up to meet the glare of a man I much admired. I gave a loud sigh before building my wall between my emotions once again.
He hauled me back to the top of the cliff again before setting me down and tying me up securely with ropes.
I was tossed over his shoulder as he began the walk back to the village.
"To think. Kakashi was wrong for once." He muttered.
I closed my eyes and sighed again.
"Behind every action is reason, Gai Sensei. To some it seems like a pathetic excuse well to others. Only understanding will cross mind." Were the only words
I spoke as he kept walking. The words once told to myself by the elder Uchiha brother.
Itachi Uchiha.
When I felt we had crossed the threshold of the village, I opened my eyes to assess the damage.
I saw women crying over the bodies of Fathers, husbands, sons.
I looked further into the ruins.
Men kneeling over their sons, their daughters, their wifes, their brothers, their family.
My brain, with my emotion barrier built high didn't want to process the pain and loss that those before my sight are suffering.
So instead I closed my eyes and welcomed the darkness that paired with such cowardice action.
~Time Lapse~
"That was reckless Kiyomi and you know it." I turned to face the grey haired, masked ninja who looked at me with a frown.
"Having already suffered such great loss. How do you think Asuma would have felt?" Kurenai asked with a soft frown as she looked to the door where Asuma had locked himself behind.
Their scorning was falling on deaf ears as, I couldn't find it in myself to really care. Just like everything now.
"With great loss comes great suffering." I began.
They all fell silent as I carried on.
"I didn't want to go through that ever again. The easier way is to cut off any emotion to do with greiving.
Therefore by removing any trace of emotion in my mind, it allows me to disengage with the emotion itself. Hence not having to suffer the pain of loss." My words were emotionless. Not caring.
My mind was only processing words and not so much emotion.
"However. In dying, I needn't block or feel any emotion. It was much less painful release."
The door slid open and Asuma stood with the other Jonin Sensei while I remained seated.
"So what you're saying is that you don't want to care?" He asked me. I looked at him with dead eyes.
"Very much."
His face was masked with anger and haterid but mostly sadness and grief.
"So you don't want his death to hurt you? You don't want to feel grief towards the man, who treated you like his own kin!?" He shouted. The room flinched while I remained emotionless.
"Yes." My head cracked to the right, a warm sensation left on my left cheek. Though there was no pain.
"HOW CAN YOU EVEN-!! JUST THINKING-!!" I looked back to Asuma who was being restrained by both Gai and Kakashi Sensei.
His facials were enraged and hateful.
"HOW COULD YOU!!" He yelled again. I simply stood up and turned to the window.
"Why ask a stupid question when I had already explained the situation thoroughly?" I asked. The whole room fell to chaos behind me as I walked to the window.
I jumped from the window and began walking through the drenched Village.
Soft sounds of crying heard as I walked pass houses. Cries of loss and pain. Emotions I needn't feel again. For that I would be content.
~Next Day~
I was sitting cross legged on Mt Hokage. Sitting above the First Hokage's head.
I could see specs of black, dotting the village as they prepared themselves for the funeral of the fallen Ninja.
"Shouldn't you be at the Thirds funeral? You being his student and all?" Someone asked as the leaned against the Sakura planted on the mountain.
"Shouldn't you be at the Thirds funeral? You being his student and all?" I retorted dryly whislt watching everyone slowly gather on the Hokage Tower.
"Kiyomi?" I looked to him.
"Yes Master Jiraiya?" He was frowning deeply.
I stared at him blankly as he tried to get a read of my emotions.
"Don't attempt. I've blocked them off." I told him truthfully.
He sat by my side, not once breaking eye contact.
"Are you mad at the Old Man?" I didn't respond. Not like I wouldn't, more like I couldn't. I didn't understand his questioning.
What his method was? So I didn't respond.
"I'm not certian. Perhaps I was mad at him. Perhaps I wasn't. Who could really tell?" We just sat staring at eachother for a brief moment before he spoke again.
"Why were you mad at him?" I shrugged nonchalantly.
"Alright then. Back on the rooftop. Gai said you had called him a lier." I nodded once.
There was a slight sting in my mind as I recalled seeing him lay motionlessly. Accusing him of being a lier.
"Because he had lied." I told him with a slight frown towards the stinging in my head.
Like a quick shock of electricity running through my brain cells.
"What did he lie about Kiyomi?" I straightened my facials to resume a blank face.
"He lied about two things. One, he promised that he would never leave Konohamaru alone. And two..." What was two?
What was the other promise he made to me that gave me reason to accuse him of being said lier.
"And two. He promised that he would shout me Ramen if I won my final rounds today." Was that really it?
There was a slightly stronger sting in my mind as I thought on these promises.
"He would shout you ramen today?" He asked unbelieving. I nodded once.
"He promised, not even an hour before my match, that he would shout me Ramen at Ichiraku's." I stated. My dam of emotions slowly begining to crumble away in my mind.
"He promised that he would shout me Ramen." I felt the tears fill my eyes.
My heart clenching in pain as the emotions ran in full force. I clutched at my chest in attempt to put my emotions back under control.
My cheek throbbed in pain. Recalling the slap Asuma had given yesterday for my ignorance, my hand cupped my injury.
"He promised that he would shout me Ramen." My body began to tremble as I realised the true meaning of my pain.
"He was ment to be here today to shout me Ramen." I curled my knees to my chest as I rocked to and fro.
"He was ment to be here today attending the funeral as the Hokage. Not a casualty." I whispered.
I felt as warm arms wrapped around my trembling figure.
"I promised that, I wouldn't let Orochimaru hurt anyone I loved. Never again." I whispered.
"And I failed. Its no use now! He's stronger then me! He can kill whoever he likes and I wouldn't be able to protect them!" I pulled away from the Pervy Toad's hug and shuffled away.
"You're better off staying away from me Pervy Toad. All I bring with me is death." I leaned agaist the lone Sakura and sighed sadly.
I have to leave, leaving is protecting those left.
"People will have many different reasons to die, no doubt, for you, many people will die willingly. Don't let the deaths that occur or have, stop you from smiling."
I looked up in shock. "Yuko." I whispered. She was frowning down to me. A hand on her hip as her wet, brown hair clung to the sides of her face.
"Not many will ask permission, sometimes they'll do it because they've grown fond of people. It'll just be natural reaction." She told me.
The words her father left me with before he died.
"If Gai let you fall. It would've been you who broke a promise Kiyomi." Pervy Toad kneeled infront of me and took my hands in his own.
"Sarutobi Sensei didn't leave Konohamaru alone. He left you with him." My eyes widened in shock.
He. Left him. With me?
"Yes Kiyomi. The Old Man knew you would look after Konohamaru. That's why he was able to die for his Village. That's why he could die, to protect the ones he loves."
He knew his fate, though his plan was only half complete. He was meaning to take Orochimaru with him in death. Hence the Reaper Death Seal.
I squeezed Pervy Toad's hands.
He knew that there was the chance of him dying that day, that he wouldn't be able to keep his promise.
But he didn't leave Konohamaru alone. He left his grandson with Asuma and I.
I wiped the few stray tears from my cheeks that managed to slip pass.
Pervy Toad stood up and tugged me up beside him.
"He's down there now. Feeling as you had when you lost your brother. The only difference being, he's ment to have you at his side." I nodded my head as I looked up to his eyes.
"O-okay." He pulled me into a hug that I gladly returned.
"Come on Leaf Princess. It's time to take a bow." Yuko told me. Her mask now in her hand as she held her other towards me. I took it wearily before she gave it a squeeze.
"I thought you hated me." I whispered. I was wrapped up in another hug by female arms. It felt like hugging elder sister. So warm.
"How could I possibly hate you?"
"I got your Father killed." I mumbled into her stomach.
"My Father died protecting the both of us. If I blamed you, I'd have to blame myself as well." I could only nod.