Eli's Style Above.
So if any of you watch Danisnotonfire and AmazingPhil I was going for that vibe. Shawn and Eli having Dan's fashion sense and Seth having Phil's. Cameron above.
It's funny how 13 days without posting feels like forever!
Shawn's P.O.V
4. That's how many mental disorders Seth had. When we got back to my house reiterating him back into normal life was almost painful for him. His depression and anxiety ate him alive while the schizophrenia and bipolar seemed to be turning his brain to mush.
He wasn't the same. It was like I was watching him push his own self destruct button over, and over, and over, and over again every signal day because each was worse than the last. I was watching him deteriorate right in front of me without breaking apart or shedding a single tear. The worse part was, it seemed like there was nothing I could do but lay down each night and hold him as tight as I could as if I was holding all of his broken and fragile prices together between my arms. And as he got worse, so did Eli and I.
We lost our hunger, sleep, the capacity to smile or even understand any human emotion but sadness.
"Boys, lunch!" My mother said smiling as she balanced plates on her arms almost professionally. Her shirt read 'Worlds Best Mother' in bright pink letters making me remember when my younger brother Zayn and I bought it for her.
It hurt me more to remember him. His cute features. Smiling as she came closer setting the plates on our laps along with silverware from her pocket I leaned forward grabbed the shirt between my finger tips. Her body froze, letting the shirt dangle between my fingers. It was as soft as the day we picked it from the rack from the store. Closing my eyes I could see the memory perfectly. I could see him perfectly.
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"Zayn," I shook my younger brother. The ten year old groaned and rolled over facing me in his twin sized bed which seemed too small for the room.
With his arms stretched over his head he asked,"What now, Shawn?" His brown eyes were piercing through me with almost a glare. Chuckling I leaned on his bed knowing my young spy aspiring brother was always up for an adventure.
"Is Mr.Smith available?" I asked using his made up spy code seeing a shit eating grin spread across his face.
"Armed and ready for duty, Captain Poop Brains," he giggled sitting up and pulling out a cap gun from the side of his bed and some night vision goggles.
Shaking my head I placed his shoes on his bed and stood walking out of his room. We've been through this before. He knew that if he wasn't dressed and in my car in two minutes I was leaving without him.
***
"Ready," Zayn huffed climbing into my car while still trying to buckle his pants with a banana and a water bottle in his hands. Smiling I threw the car into reverse wanting to get back before mom or dad got up.
***
It felt like we had already sorted through all of the Mother's Day gifts 100x. Surely they were up and had enough time to eat breakfast at least three times.
"I think we ran out of luck, poodle." I sighed, "we'll just have to grab some choc-"
"There! That's it Shawn!" Zayn yelled suddenly running towards a circler rack, mainly full of tank tops and marijuana hats.
"You know we're looking for a gift for mom. Not Kyle, the guy do-" I stopped as Zayn held up a black t-shirt with 'Worlds Best Mother' written in neon pink stitching. "Okay, good work! Let's go home and surprise mom not only with a gift but that we do actually know our days of the week!"
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But only one of us made it home that day.
Because of that I will spend Mother's Day both celebrating life, morning death, and forever blaming myself.