Does he love me?
"Well, let's find out, dear,"
A flower appeared in front of Haru. It was a big flower, compared to Haru. He watched as the flower's petals fall off, one by one.
He loves me, he loves me not... Haru continued, watching the petals drop to the floor.
He loves me not.
"Look again, dear,"
The flower has lost all of the petals.
"Did you pluck all of them?"
Yes.
"What about that one?" Something picked up Haru, bringing him closer to the flower. He saw it, a tiny, tiny petal, almost invisible.
Haru plucked the tiny petal. He loves me.
What does it mean?
"It means what you want it to mean, dear."
No I mean-
Haru was awoken by Makoto vigorously shaking him.
"Haru! Don't scare me like that!" Haru noticed the dried tears on Makoto's cheeks.
"I didn't do anything."
"I thought you killed yourself!"
"Now why would I do that?"
Makoto sighed, relieved. "Nevermind that. Promise you won't get any ideas of killing yourself."
"What's with you and thinking about me dying?"
Makoto thought for a moment. "I guess I'm just afraid of losing you."
But let's be real, Makoto was reminded of the time he almost lost Haru yesterday.
"Well you don't go killing yourself, either." Haru smiled.
Makoto seemed satisfied with Haru's smile. Haru hasn't smiled ever since Makoto returned. Why? I don't know, maybe because he got a girlfriend?
"Well, I best be going. Haruhi doesn't like it when I don't participate in club activities. Not like I actually joined. I'm just there for her."
"Can I come?"
Makoto laughed nervously. "For your own sake, I suggest you not."
That could mean anything, Haru watched Makoto leave his house.
Haru had time to kill, so he spent a while playing with the water in his bathtub. He laughed at himself, remembering when he wanted to marry water when he grew up. When Haru was younger, he didn't feel any connection towards girls, something all of his friends talked about. Haru accepted the term 'asexual' and proceeded to continue life with that title. Of course, his best friends knew that Haru never had much experience with girls, so he never fell for one.
Who knew that Haru was attracted to boys.
After a while, Haru left the bathtub. He didn't have school, and he didn't have a summer job. His parents had the money, since they left him to go abroad for a job. It made a lot of money, but they had to sacrifice Haru for it. Not sacrifice as in death, but as in spending time with him. They didn't have to, however, it was Haru's choice.
Haru decided to stay in Iwami because he wanted to go to the school there. But then again, he hated school. What was the real reason, you ask?
Makoto, what else. Haru realized that he couldn't live without Makoto, so he chose to stay, leaving his parents. Haru didn't believe he liked Makoto back then, but Makoto was the most important person in his life, so it was a pretty good reason to stay.
I just realized how boring my life was.
Haru honestly had nothing to do today. Or tomorrow. Or the next week. He wanted to do more activities, to keep his mind off Makoto. However, he wasn't that type of person that goes up to people and asked if they wanted to hang out. He was too mature for that.
Haru usually spent time with the Tachibana family, eating, sleeping, playing with the twins, everything. He was practically part of their family. But now that Makoto wasn't free, Haru had no idea on what to do on his free time.
There was swimming, but he couldn't go to the school's swimming pool. It was locked. Rin had a pool, but Haru didn't want to bother Rin.
Screw Rin. Haru wanted to swim.
--
"I see your feeling much bette-"
"Pool."
Rin chuckled. "Alright, let's go."
The two stripped in front of the pool and jumped in. Of course, they both wore their swimsuits underneath. I mean, all true swimmers do that, right?
"What do you plan to do when you grow up?" Rin asked, floating on the water.
Haru ignored him, and continued to swim. Typical Haru.
Truth be told, Haru was going to be a national swimmer when he graduated from college, swimming for Japan.
"I have another question, Haruka," Rin continued, ignoring the point that Haru ignored his first question.
"What happened yesterday?"
Makoto. Haruhi. Makoto. Girlfriend. Dating. Heartache, Haru almost lost the ability to think correctly. The memories stunned him so much that he couldn't move.
What happens when you don't move in water? You drown.
"Crap," Rin swam over to Haru, helping him up. "It was that bad?"
Haru didn't respond. He pulled himself out of the water and began drying himself.
"Nanese!" Rin growled, running after Haru. "You didn't answer my question."
Haru ignored him. It was pretty hard. Rin kept reminding Haru about what happened yesterday. You know, when Haru realized that Makoto had a girlfriend and that he was no longer Haru's.
"It'd help the both of us if you just tell me!" Rin grabbed Haru's arm, preventing the dolphin boy from walking away.
"Let me go."
"Not until you tell me what happened. It can't be that bad."
"No."
"Then I'm not letting go."
Haru didn't bother trying to break free. Rin was a strong man, at least, compared to Haruka who couldn't punch a punching bag.
"I'm going to use the bathroom."
"Like hell you're not! You can go after you tell me what happened yesterday."
"It doesn't concern you."
"You're my best friend, it DOES concern me."
"Makoto is my best friend."
Rin paused for a moment, probably because he felt really bad for getting rejected.
"It was about Makoto, wasn't it?"
Rin's hand suddenly got cold. Or was it because Haru's hand suddenly got hot? Haru's ears turned red, and he started to feel weak.
Makoto. The man I loved. He's no longer mine. He no longer cares about me alone. I'm not that important anymore.
"If you're not going to tell me, I could just call Makoto..."
Haru dropped onto the concrete floor, causing Rin to lose balance.
"Hey now," Rin tried to pull Haru up, but he just fell back down again. "Okay okay I won't call Makoto. Can't you just tell me what happened? Your condition is terrifying."
Haru didn't move. He was too depressed to move.
Rin sighed, and lifted up Haru. "You want to go to sleep?"
Haru stuffed his face in Rin's chest.
"Oi Haru..." Rin felt slightly awkward.
Rin put Haru to bed. Rin then rang up Gou to buy some groceries on the way home, because he was a helpless man in the field of cooking.
With nothing to do, Haru's mind began wandering to the darker parts of his memories, ones that he didn't want to touch. It was hard to stop it, once you thought about it there was no going back. Haru hugged Rin's body pillow and prepared for the impact.