[Justin]
I sat on the ground and cried once I saw that assholes car drive off with my girl inside. I knew from the second my lips touched Selena's I was fucking up.
I didn't want Selena, I never wanted her since I met Marie. She's the reason I left Selena without a single tear.
She outweighed Selena and if I had to pick between the two I'd pick Marie every time.
She wasn't supposed to see that, I fucked up. I just, as soon as Selena's lips touched mine I saw Marie.
I felt Marie. It's all the alcohols fault. I always do dumb shit when I drink too much. I'm a fucked up idiot when I'm wasted.
I was laying on the dirty ground in fucking tears, I heard Kendall calling for me but I couldn't move. I didn't want to move for anybody except Marie.
"Justin what happened, why did Marie run off with Zayn?" My jaw twitched at the sight of her, this was her fault.
She put the idea into Marie's head.
"You did this!" I yelled backing away from her in anger, I couldn't take full blame for this. It was her fault as well as mine.
"What are you talking about Justin? What the fuck? You're drunk"
I laughed knowing she was damn right. She tried reaching for me again but I move back even more.
My face hardened again. I remember It's her fault my princess hates me.
"You told her what I told you, I told you I fucking loved her so you told her!" I screamed, telling the world about my secret.
She wasn't supposed to find out until I found the right time and knew she felt the same way. Now she just hates me.
The only person I'd told this secret was Kendall, she's my best friend next to Marie. I couldn't exactly tell Marie that I loved Marie
In a different way that is, not that best friend only shit, deep down it never was only the best friend zone. It was something more for me.
Fuck,
I couldn't help it. At first I knew it was wrong to feel that way for her. I told myself over and over again, she's just my best friend. I can't love her in those ways.
But mom told me when I was younger "every lasting marriage starts with a friendship"
She was that girl, she's the one mom told me to protect and love with everything I had in me.
She's the one.
I couldn't help but muster up the worst case scenarios in my head, what if she hates me? Well, from what I remember she said that she hated me twice tonight.
What if she never speaks to me again and changes all her contact details so I can never get in contact with her again?
Like I said, my head was coming up with crazy ideas making me go insane.
I couldn't and wouldn't lose her, I swore that to myself the first time I called her my best friend.
"Justin I didn't tell her directly, I just hinted" Kendall sighed, thinking that was helping me.
It wasn't.
"Why.. What happened?" She asked quietly, wanting to know why Marie really ran off in tears. I didn't want to admit it.
"I kissed her.." I mumbled feeling my hands ball into fists, if I ever see Selena again I'll hurt her for coming onto me.
"You kissed Marie? Why are you upset about that!" Kendall asked getting the wrong idea, God did she want me to spell it out for her?
"I kissed Selena, I fucking kissed the devil" I yelled angrily pulling at my hair, I deserved the pain for being so stupid and careless.
Marie's heart is so fragile and I did something so reckless. I didn't deserve her heart or love.
I'm just too selfish to let her love or heart go, the thought of her loving somebody else kills me.
I walked over to my car and kicked the wheel once again, it would hurt if I was sober but I couldn't feel anything so I just kept kicking.
Maybe I'd feel the pain in the morning.
"I'm" I kicked the car hard "So" and again, but this time harder "fucking" then again, now even harder "stupid"
I felt Kendall's arms pull me back and onto the floor, she was pinning me down "you are drunk, you're going to March your ass up into that spare bedroom and sleep it off, Got it?"
I shimmied out of her grip violently and walked back into her house, many people looked at me questioningly. I didn't care.
They weren't important to me.
I wiped my eyes dry, trying to rid of the wet stain which sat on my skin. I hated crying.
It made me feel weak and stupid.
I walked into the spare bedroom whilst Kendall was busy shutting down the party, I carelessly unbuttoned the few buttons of my shirt which i had re-buttoned in a hurry when Marie saw me, they weren't even in the right holes.
I sighed slipping out of my trousers and as I pulled off my yeezy's, I remembered something. These were the ones Marie wore, the ones which she looked like a clown in.
Fuck, I grabbed my blazer which was thrown to the side of the room, thanks to Gomez. I checked all the pockets and finally found my phone.
I had two missed calls, I smiled with hope checking the name. It was Mom.
I sighed ringing her back, I needed to tell her we are okay. Although we aren't.
"Hey mom.. Sorry this is a late call" I said, biting the inside of my cheek. I wanted to go home but with Marie.
"It's okay baby, just wanted to check how you two are doing?" She asked I sat on my bed and closed my eyes in pain, I don't even know where she is.
"We're fine mom" my voice began to crack, she didn't notice that I was lying through my teeth.
"Okay, I'll leave you two be have a goodnight baby.. Don't drink too much!" She chuckled making me flinch, how ironic is that?
Before I did anything, I dialled Marie's number since I know it off by heart now. It's an easy one to remember yet she doesn't know it.
I bit my lip listening to the ringtone, I had a shot.
"Hi this is Marie's answerphone, please leave a message and I'll probably get back to you.. Thanks and sorry for ignoring you!"
And that shot was gone before it even came. She wasn't answering her phone, I tried her phone five more times but the ringtone was getting shorter and shorter.
"Leave your message after the beep.."
Beep... Here it goes I guess.
"Marie baby, princess" I sighed taking a second to breathe, I needed to think before I said something drunk and stupid.
"I fucked up" I gulped, she knew that already. Fuck what am I doing?
"Princess I need you to come back to Kendall's, I can't sleep until you're here with me and in my arms" I started to cry, she was my strength and my weakness.
"Princess.. I.. I need you with me, I want to touch you" I cried, sobbing relentlessly. I need her by my side.
"I feel so lost without you, I need you with me.. I love you so much I just can't admit it. Please princess come back to me"
"Please, please, please,please" I repeated myself over and over thinking, if I'd said it enough she'd come back.
I didn't care how much I spent on this fucking phone bill,
I'd stay on here all night if I had to.
"Please, I'm so sorry" I whispered holding my head in my hands, I can't believe how lost I am without her.
Kendall walked into the room and walked up to me "Justin.. What are you doing?" She asked
I ignored her and carried on pleading "princess please just come back to me,
I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to I'm sorry, so so sorry"
Kendall sighed taking the phone from me and put down the phone, I'm pretty sure that message was a good fifteen minutes long.
Kendall hugged me tight "she'll come around soon Justin. she loves you too, you know?"
I looked up at her with red, puffy eyes.. "She does?"
Kendall nodded with a small, genuine smile "the way she watches you.. She adores you Bieber"
I yawned whilst Kendall was tucking me into bed, something Marie should be doing. I stirred around in the bed whilst Kendall sat on the edge trying to calm me down.
"Sh, sleep Justin"
My eyes were closed and my brain was starting to shut down, my last thoughts were of her.
"I have to find my princess.."
Word count : 1495