Alison's POV
Waking up the next morning, I try to get out of bed, but a tight hold keeps me from doing so. I look down to see a muscular arm with a sleeve of tattoos wrapped around my waist, holding me down. Looking back, I see Justin sleeping peaceful.
I turn slowly and face him, admiring his face. I know that sounds weird, but if you look at his when he's sleeping, he looks so care free. He's feature are soft and calm and he looks a lot younger. Raising my hand, I lightly trace over his features with my finger tips. Than I move to his hair.
I run my fingers through to feel how soft it is. I continue to play with play with his hair until a sudden urge for food runs through my stomach. I take my hand away only for Justin to whine in his sleep, grab my hand, and place it back on his head. Giggling at his childish behavior, I take my hand away from his head once more and quickly, but softly escape from his tight hold and get up from the bed.
Again, Justin whines patting the spot I was just in before grabbing my pillow, shoving his face in it with a smile. He sighs in content and little snores erupt from his lips. I inwardly awe at how cute he looks. Finally looking away from him, I walk into the bathroom to wash my face. Once I'm done, I walk out of the room and into the living room.
I see Justin's laptop on the table and I debate with or not I go on it and check the Internet. Deciding I would check it real quick, I sit on the couch and open it starting up the Internet.
With Justin's warning in my head, I google search my name and scroll through a few mentions that appear, all of them attached to the strip club I've been work at. Since I haven't done an Internet search in awhile, I'm relieved to find no connections at all between Alison and the person I once used to be. As far as anyone is concerned, Alison Rivera is a stripper in New York City. That's all she is, and that's all the paparazzi will find if they dig into my life.
Feeling somewhat relieved, I shut of Justin's laptop and look for the kitchen. I soon realize that the kitchen is on the top floor so I climb the stairs by the front door. Standing in the middle of the kitchen, I place my hands on my hips trying to decide what to make.
Opening one of the cabinets, I find pancake mix. "Ohhh." I quickly grab it and look for some eggs so I can make eggs too. Opening the refrigerator, I see a whole carton of eggs. "Yay." Laying out everything I need to start cooking, I see an iPod touch connected to a mini speaker.
I bit my lip and grabbed the iPod opening YouTube. I put on Look Back At It by Ziggy. Satisfied, I started making breakfast.
"Just pull them panties to the side girl. And look me in my eyes as I get between your thighs all night." Since I danced to this song at the club, I instinctively move my hips while I cook. "All get you high girl, and imma give your body what it wants. Look back at it." I start putting the pancakes on a plate once they're done.
"Someone's very energetic this morning." A voice calls out behind me. Quickly turning around, I hold the spatula out in front of me, ready to defend myself, only to see Justin leaning over the island with an amused look on his face.
Sighing in relief, I turn down the music and look back at Justin. "You scared fudge out of me."
He chuckles at my choice of words. "Sorry." He says with a shrug.
"You hungry?" I say raising my eyebrow.
"Starving." He teases.
"Good," I pause for a moment, "because I'm making eggs and pancakes." Shaking my head side to side.
He lets out a hearty laugh that makes me stop what I'm doing to look at him. His laugh is like music to my eyes. He looks so cute and young when he laughs. A dimple pops up on his cheek when he genuinely smiles or laughs, and I love it.
Once I'm done with all the food, I place 3 pancakes and some eggs on Justin's plate and 2 pancakes and eggs on mine. I grab the plates and set them on the table. "Justin do you want orange juice or coffee?" I say turning to see Justin holding a cup of coffee. "Never mind then."
He laughs kissing my cheek, sitting in front of his food. I go back into the kitchen to get me a glass of orange juice. As I pour the orange juice in the glass, I hear a moan. I peek my head around the corner to see Justin with his eyes closed, chewing his food.
"You ok there?"
He opens his eyes looking at me, nodding his head violently. "These pancakes and eggs are delicious! Best I ever had." He says while stuffing another piece of pancake in his mouth. I shake my head at him and tend back to my OJ.
After breakfast, I head toward the bathroom to wash my face and brush my teeth. While I wash my face, I stare at my reflection for a little bit.
I was born a redhead with blue eyes, I see no resemblance to the girl I once was years ago. I wear special contacts that give me the brown eyes that I had now, and regularly color my hair, which is much longer than what it used to be, to keep it dark. Other than a once-a-month change of contacts, I hardly ever see my blue eyes anymore. I've gotten used to my new look, but it didn't happen overnight. The new looks were nearly as hard to come by as my new identity, not that anyone would know that.
Justin's POV
Alison's been gone for awhile. She told me that she had to wash up, but that was 30 minutes ago. I started to get worried that something must be wrong. I got up from the couch and start walking towards our room.
This whole week has been hell for me. I can't believe I let Ryan get into my head. He did have a point with what he said, but I shouldn't have ignored her like that. Ignoring her was probably the hardest thing I've ever done. No matter how much I tried to dodge her, she was always there, filling the room with her natural strawberry vanilla scent.
There was times where I wanted to say 'the hell with what Ryan said,' but I was an idiot. The way she walked around clueless and so innocent had my knees weak. I just want to cherish her and protect her. I don't know what it is about Alison, but I have this feeling that I'm the one that's supposed to protect her. To care for her. To cherish her. To love her.
I'm still confused about my feelings got Alison, but I know that I don't want to let her go. It hurts to know that she'll be going home after these six months are over, but that's going to change. I'm going to find a way to keep her here with me. I don't want her to leave.
Reaching our room, I walk in to see the bathroom door closed. I knock softly. "Alison, are you ok?" In response, I hear a sudden shuffling sound followed by a small 'yes'. "Are you sure? Can you please open the door for me?" I say as a jiggle the doorknob.
The door was opened and Alison stood there looking she's in thought. "You good?" I say raising an eyebrow.
She smiles, but you can tell that it's forced. "Yeah, I'm fine." I nod, not going to push her any further. She stepped out of the bathroom and into the bedroom. She turns around toward me. "Soo... What we gonna do today?" She bounces on her tippy toes while playing with her fingers.
"I was thinking," I move in front of her, looking down at her. Her big brown eyes stare into mine innocently. "We could just stay in today and watch movies. How does that sound?" She cocks her head to the side slightly and gives me one of her breathtaking smiles.
She nods and bites her lip looking me straight in the eyes while doing so. I give her a look and she immediately says yes. I like how she's quick to do what I say. Just imagine her tied up while I fu-. Shut up Justin. It's never going to happen!
"Come on. We'll watch movies in the living room." Grabbing her hand in mine, I start to feel the tingles and sparks I always feel when our skin touch, but I ignore it knowing she probably doesn't feel the same, and take her to the living room.
Letting go of her hand once we reach the living room, I walk toward the door near the tv and open it, revealing all the movies I own. Alison gaps at all the DVDs I have. "Go ahead. Pick one." I say as I gently push her inside the room. She looks like a little kid in a candy store staring at the the movies.
She suddenly smiles wide grabbing a movie and hugging it to her chest.
"What you got there?" I say leaning against the door frame.
She bites her lip, looking at the move case, before showing me the front cover. Frozen. She chose Frozen out of all the movies I had, she had to choose that one.
"Whhyy?" I whined. "My little sister is obsessed with that movie and knows every fücking word to it. Do we have to watch it?"
"Yes we do. Now quit your whining and go put the movie in." She said handing me the movie, pushing me out of the door frame. I groaned and put my body weight on top of her. Not enough to crush her, just enough for her to struggle to keep me up. "Ugh Justin!! Get your as-booty off of me! Go put in the movie!" She whined as she tried to push me toward the DVD player.
"Fine fine. God." I grumbled under my breath. Alison squealed before jumping onto the couch getting comfortable.
As the movie started, I sat next to her getting comfortable myself. After a few moments into the movie, she moved closer to me, cuddling into my side. I placed my on her unclothed thigh and love the thrill that runs through me when her skin comes in contact with mine. I can't even begin to wonder what sex with her would be like if touching her thigh is one of the most sensual experiences in what's been rather sensually indulgent life.
I run my thumb against her thigh as she hums to the music playing in the movie. She than slides her hand underneath mine and holds it. This sweet-gesture is such a turn on. Everything about her turns me on. It's been a long, long time since I've been this attracted to a women outside my chosen lifestyle. For the first time in I don't know how long, I'm entertaining the possibility that we refer to as "vanilla" relationship might actually satisfy me.
That doesn't mean I'm prepared to completely give up a lifestyle that has defined me in many ways. It just means that I'm considering making changes that would've been unthinkable only a few days ago.
Something my father once said to me has been stuck in my mind ever since I met Alison. It was after he disastrous breakup with Celeste when I asked him how he known that my mother was the woman he wanted to marry.
Flashback
"Someday," he said. "Probably a few years or so from now, a woman will come strolling into the room, and all the oxygen will seem to leave with her arrival. Your chest will be tight, your heart will beat a little faster, and you'll know. You'll just know."
"Is that how it happened for you with mom?" I said.
"Exactly like that. I knew the second I laid eyes on her that there'd never be anyone else for me."
End of Flashback
And there never has been. Thirty-seven years later, they're going strong and more in love than ever. As I got older, I find myself envying them as well as my older brother, who've found true love matches with ladies that aren't snobs.
"Justin." Alison's voice called out, breaking my thoughts. I hum and look down at her to see her already staring at me.
"Penny for your thoughts." She says while resting her chin on my shoulder, giving me her breathtaking smile.
"Just thinking about my parents relationship is all."
"How long have they been together?"
"Thirty-seven years and going."
She whistles. "That's a long time. They must really love each other to stay together that long."
"Yeah. They really do. I've never seen anyone more in love than them." I smile at the thought. I brush my finger tips along her thigh and look down at her.
I tip my head down and lay my lips on hers in an undemanding caress that I feel all the way through me. Though I didn't intend for it to go any further than a simple quick kiss, well not yet anyways, when he hands slide up against my chest and to the back of my neck, I'm completely lost.
Her mouth opens, and her tongue meets in a sensual caress that makes me moan from wanting more. I already know days after I first laid eyes on her, that I'll never get enough of her.
Like I said, I hadn't intended for it to get this heated, but she's so irresistible, especially when she's pressed against me, kissing me with such innocent eagerness. That innocence has my cock hard and throbbing as I reluctantly withdraw from the kiss, mindful of what she said earlier on. If I seduce her into giving me something that she doesn't want to give up, than she'll hate me afterward. The thought of that is worse than denying the desire that beats through me a living, breathing thing.
"Alison..."
Her eyes were closed, and her lips were swollen, and her cheeks rosy and warm... She was truly beautiful.
I nuzzle her neck, and she tips her head back granting me access to her smooth sweet softness of skin. Her scent fills my nostrils. Her scent is easy to describe, but it's bewitching nonetheless. It's simple, clean, fresh... Unlike anything I've ever encountered before, which leads me to conclude its the essence of her. I roll her earlobe between my teeth, biting down just hard enough to draw a sharp inhale from her.
"Ali..." I don't even know if anyone calls her that. The nickname just rolls over my tongue as naturally as I draw air into my lungs.
"Hmm?" Her hands doing something to my hair, making my scalp tingle in awareness.
"We should stop."
She shakes her head. "More." She draws out.
"Alison," I say, laughing at her eagerness, "you're killing me here."
"I don't want to kill you. I want to kiss you."
She has no idea what she's doing to me. She might as well wave a red flag in front of me like a bull because the way she's looking at me with those sweet brown eyes that had gone liquid with desire and emotion, sure does feel like it.
I try to tell myself I can handle this. That I have enough self control to know when to stop. I can handle holding her, kissing her, touching her, but nothing else. Not now anyways. Clutching her hand, I pull her towards me, so she's straddling my lap. The press of her soft bottom against my uncomfortable hard-on takes my breath away for a second before I recover and capture her lips in another kiss that goes from zero to a hundred and twenty real quick.
I've never, ever reacted to a woman like this before and it thrills me and terrifies me all at the same time. If I ask for more than she's willing to give, than I'll lose her before I even had her. I know I originally bought her from the auction for my own pleasure, but the look of innocence in her eyes is holding me back from doing so. I can't just force her to do something that she's not comfortable with. But with her soft and vulnerable in my arms, I'm unwilling to end this moment before I have more of her.
I ease her back onto the sofa cushions, pausing to see her reaction. For a heartbeat of an instant, I see something resembling fear in her expressive eyes before she seems to recover, bringing my down by my neck to resume the kiss.
If I thought the kiss yesterday was incredible, this is something altogether, and it truly takes every inch of self-control I have in me to keep me from ripping the clothes that stands between the both of us and having her right here right now. Fighting those urges is almost as consuming the kiss itself, which is becoming more erotic and more sensual with every stroke of her tongue against mine.
Her cotton tank top feels soft under my hand as I lay it flat against her back. I work my way under the hem and encounter warm skin that makes me greedy for more. Though it pains me to move, I shift slightly to the side without breaking the kiss and move my hand to the front of her. I'm like a teenage boy in the depths of first passion, trying to gauge whether my advances will be welcome or not. I honestly can't tell, and remembering that flash of fear I saw earlier, I need to be certain.
I ease back from the kiss but keep my lips against hers. "Alison, I want to touch you." I say almost as if I'm pleading.
She arches her back, pressing against my hand.
"I need you to say it's okay, every step of the way Alison, I need you to talk to me and tell me what's ok and what's not."
"Yes Justin... Please. Touch me please."
"Polite and sexy. What a potent combination." I ease her her shirt up and over her head.
She shocks the hell out of me when she tugs at the hem of my shirt and has it off me before I can begin to prepare for the sharp punch of desire that I feel when her skin and mine come together for the first time. Holy mother of fück. It's exciting and terrifying all at the same time. She scares the hell out of me and it turns me on.
Her fingers continue to run through my hair as her other hand wanders down my back, leaving a trail of hot fire in its wake.
I'm literally burning up and beginning to sweat from the effort it's taking me to hold back, to go slow, to remember what she said about having no sex. But I'm only human and I'm a guy with needs. I want her desperately, so I kiss everything I can reach, beginning with her neck and working my way down to her chest and the upper slopes of her breath that are straining at the confines of her plain dark blue bra, which will go down in history as one of the sexiest things I've ever seen.
On her, the sexiest lingerie in the world wouldn't do a thing to enhance her natural beauty.
"Justin." She gasps when my chin runs against the right point of her nipple. Her entire body arches into me, silently pleading for more.
"Tell me Alison. You have to tell me."
"I..." She opens her eyes, and again I see fear swimming mixed with desire in her chocolate brown eyes.
"Talk to me. Tell me what your thinking." I nuzzle my nose into the valley between her perfect breasts.
"Touch me. Please touch me." She pleads.
I cover her breast with my hand, squeezing gently and rubbing my thumb over the right point of her nipple. "Here?"
"Are you sure?"
In response, she unclasps the front of her bra, shocking me once again.
Her breasts spring free and fill my hands, testing my control all over again. I want to posses her, but I'm careful, gentle with the gift she has given me and probably no one else. I suspect that she's never had a boyfriend before with the fear that was in her eyes. Is every guy in the world blind or something? She's a treasure, a pearl, a priceless gift that came barreling into my life at a time when I had all but given up on ever finding anyone who could soothe the pain in my soul.
Because she is all that and so much more, I move carefully, cautiously as I caress her, afraid I would break her, working my way slowly to the straining nipples that tighten under my grasp.
My dick is literally about to explode from the urge to get in on this, but I try to ignore that urgent need to focus on her. I'm wondering what she'll allow me to do when the tug of her hand on the back of my head guides me toward what I want more than anything in this world.
I run my tongue around her tight pink nipple, and she goes crazy under me, tugging my hair, arching every inch of her body into me. Jesus Christ... This is fücking insanity. With any other woman, I'd be deep inside her by now, fücking her senseless with no mercy. But I can't do that with Alison. With Alison, that option is thrown out the window, so I take what's she's offered and I feast on her, sucking and tugging and licking her now pink reddish nipple between my teeth until she cries out from pleasure. At least I hope it's pleasure she's feeling.
Then I do the same to the other side, working her over until I'm sure she's not thinking of anything other than me and the incredible connection that sizzles between us.
But I can only take so much of her sweet brand of torture. I have to riel myself in and take control of this situation before we move past the point of no return. I drop my head to her chest, which is heaving from the air she's dragging into her lungs.
"Why'd you stop?" She asks after a long period of silence in which only sound of us breath is heard. Her breathing has started to go back to normal.
"Because if I don't stop now, I won't be able to." I force myself to raise my head, to look down at her face, which is rosy and flushed with desire. "You told me the other day no sex and I assume that you don't want to have sex till marriage am I right?" She nods. "And if we keep this up..." I drop my head back to her chest. "God, Alison, I want you so bad. You have no idea how bad I want you."
"I want you too. I hope you know that. It's just that I... There are reasons. For why I feel the way I do."
"I know and I'm trying to respect your boundaries, but if we don't stop this now, I'm afraid it'll go further than what you want it to." To my profound astonishment and dismay, her eyes fill with tears that quickly slide down her cheeks. She closes her eyes tightly as if that will make it stop. "Alison baby... Talk to me. Tell me what's wrong."
"Everything." She whispers. "Everything is wrong with me."
I kiss the tears from her face and hold her as close to me as I can. "No sweetheart. Don't you ever say that. You're amazing, and I'm completely gone over you."
"That's so sweet, and you're so... You're... Incredible. You're incredible, and I should be able to do this, but I can't."
"What can't you do?"
"This." The single word is spoken so emphatically, with such disgust and fury that I'm not sure how to react. "I can't do this because I'm broken. Inside."
"Did someone hurt you sweetheart?" I feel, for the first time in my whole life, that I could commit murder and the thought of someone ever harming her.
She pushes at my shoulder, and I realize she wants to sit up. Do I move quickly to release her. I also realize that the movie had finished.
Natalie grabs for her shirt, and I help her into it. When she reaches under it to fasten her bra, I try so hard not to look and watch, but I can't look away. Then she looks at me, and the pain and agony I see in her normally exuberant gaze shatters me. " I shouldn't have agreed to do this. You... You're lovely and wonderful, and you've been so kind to me, but I..." She shakes her head, and the stark misery is in such contrast to her normal demeanor that I'm shaken to the core. And I'm afraid. I'm very, very afraid of losing her her now that I've got her.
"Alison, baby, there is nothing you could tell me that would change the way I feel about you or that would make me not want to be with you in any way that I can. If things got too heated between us, that's my fault. I shouldn't have pushed you, knowing how you feel-"
Her fingers on my lips stop me and arouse me simultaneously. "You didn't do anything wrong. I loved everything you did. I loved it, and I encouraged it."
"Please don't leave. Whatever it is, let's figure it out together. Let's find a way through it. Don't run away from me."
"It's not fair. You deserve someone who can give you everything, and that's not me."
I put my arms around her and draw her into my embrace. Only when her hands land flat against my chest do I remember that my shirt is gone. Her touch is so potent that I want to beg for her hands on me everywhere, but instead I clear my throat and try to find the words she needs to hear.
"I would wait forever for the chance to hold you and make love to you and to worship you the way your meant to be worshipped."
She's shaking her head before I finish speaking. "You've only known for for about two weeks. How can you say such a thing like that?"
I feel like I'm standing at the edge of a cliff, looking down at what my life would be like after Alison, but if I take a step back and give her what she needs, I'll never experience that wasteland.
"Remember earlier during the movie, you asked me what I was thing about and I told you I was thinking about my parents relationship?"
She nods.
"I was thinking about much more than that. I was remembering a conversation I had a year ago with my dad about how I would know wen I met the woman I'm meant to be with. His exact words were, "Someday, probably years from now, a woman will come strolling in the room, and all the oxygen will seem to leave with her arrival. Your chest will be tight, your heart will beat a little faster, and you'll know. You'll just know."
With my finger under her chin, I raise her face so I can see her eyes. "From the first second you looked at me the day at the club, I knew. I just knew. I wasn't looking at the way you were dressed, or the way you danced. I was looking at how beautiful and innocent you looked. You're the one my dad told me I'd find. That's why I bid on you at the auction. I've wanted to see you every day since and every day from now on. It's you, Alison. So whatever it sit hats got you all upset, I want to fix it. I want to make it right."
More tears spill down her face, and I brush them all away. "You're very sweet to say that and to feel that way about me, but no one can ever makes what's wrong with me right again."
"How do you know that? Have you ever let anyone try?" I know the answer to that question before I even ask it. The shake of her head confirms it. "Let me help Alison. Let me in. I want to understand you. Not just in this way, I gesture to the sofa to encompass what just happened there, "but in every way."
Her expression is tortured, and I can tell by the way she looks at me that she wants to tell me what has her so upset.
"I can't," she says so softly I almost can't hear her. "I'm sorry, but I can't."
*~*~*
A/N: Oh god. What is Justin going to do next?? Is he going to let her leave or is he going to fight for her??
This chapter is one of the longest chapters I think I have. 😂 And I start working my first job this Sunday and I'm pretty nervous. Wish me luck :) -Allexis