{Harry's Point of View}
I spent the night lying in bed watching shadows shift across the ceiling. Sleep eluded me as my mind raced. I could hear my heart beating so loudly in my chest that I was sure it would stop pumping altogether. The weather outside was mild, but inside I shivered beneath the duvet. Fear and anxiety coursed through my veins in place of blood. I had never known a night so miserable.
My mind replayed the scene from the wedding again and again. I could hear the sound of the glass shattering on the floor. I could see the shards in a puddle of water at Kate's feet. I could see her face locked in horror with her hand cupped over her mouth. I could see her turn leave the room as guests watched with interest. I could hear Louis telling me it was her granddad—something happened to him.
Kate was incredibly close with her grandfather. Growing up, she lived just a few minutes from her grandparents' house and spent a lot of her childhood there. They traveled together in the summer and spent holidays together. She spoke to her grandparents over the phone regularly. I knew it pained her that she couldn't see them as often since she moved to London.
Louis had heard it was her grandfather while walking back from the toilet. He didn't get any details, but swore he would find out for me. There was no way I could call her and ask. The last thing she needed was a call from her ex-boyfriend prying for information. I wanted to respect her space, but I desperately wanted her to know that I was there for her. Despite the breakup, she still meant a great deal to me.
So I stayed in bed all night, never closing my eyes for a moment, and fighting off the desire to send her a text message. Louis mentioned that she boarded a flight right away with Eli and was on her way back home.
____________
The smell of coffee wafted around the hotel lobby as I waited for Laura to come down. People stared as they walked by, and some even did a double take. It was attention I had grown used to years ago, but this morning it felt worse. I didn't feel like a celebrity, I felt like a caged animal. I shot disgusted looks to innocent people and hardly felt a shred of remorse.
My patience had worn thin through the night and my ability to resist getting more information diminished. Unable to hold myself back, I took out my phone and found Eli's number.
Me: I heard you and Kate headed home for an emergency. What happened? H
Eli: Kate's grandfather had a stroke. He's in the hospital. We just flew in and are on our way to see him.
My heart sank. I felt a lump in my throat form at the thought of Kate having to go through this alone. I wanted her to know that I cared about her. I wanted her to know it was going to be okay. I wanted to be there for her. I wanted to hold her.
Me: How is Kate doing?
Eli: She's very upset. I don't think she would want you to know this, but last night when we left the wedding, she asked for you. We got in the car and started to pull away and she said, "Someone get Harry." I asked if she meant that and she said no. She blamed it on an old habit.
Me: If she wants me there, I'll be there.
Eli: I don't think she knows what she wants. I'll keep you posted on things.
Me: Thanks. H.
I put my phone away reluctantly. The thought of her asking for me weighed heavily on my heart. I wanted to call Julia and ask her to reschedule the radio interview or have one of the other boys do it, but just as I was about to call Julia, the blonde-bobbed Laura appeared.
"Morning, Harry."
"Hello, Laura." Her lipstick was smudged from a goodbye kiss from her new husband. Her left hand was heavy with diamond wedding rings looping around her ring finger like a sparkly serpent.
"Ready to go?"
"Yes."
____________
The ride to the radio studio was unbearably silent. I was used to the constant chatter of people on tour. I longed for the relief of Niall's laughter or Louis and Liam bickering after an accidental punch in the arm. I even missed Terrence and Henry talking on cell phones simultaneously while drowning the car in muddled nonsense.
"Laura?"
"Hmm?"
"Shouldn't you have left on your honeymoon? Isn't it traditional to leave on the night of your wedding?"
"If you must know, Harry, Miles and I are leaving tonight. I agreed to do this interview with you months ago. It's sort of a favor."
"What kind of favor?" She had my interest now.
"Liz, from the interview, dated a close friend of mine, Gia, and we became friends that way."
"I see."
"She and Jeff landed this show together and Gia didn't like flying back and forth between L.A. and London visiting Liz."
"I'd imagine that would be draining," I shrugged.
"It was. So Liz chose the show and Gia has since moved onto men."
"Oh."
"You aren't nervous, are you?"
"No," I lied.
Jeff and Liz were notorious in the United States as two of the toughest radio hosts. Their show was streamed worldwide through satellite radio, and their show was also streamed online. They were known for asking the hard questions and forcing their guests into revealing the truth. Jeff was famous from his crude humor and no-nonsense attitude. I worried about being interviewed. So much of my life was under the radar. I barely spoke to anyone about my personal life anymore and I didn't feel like being cross-examined by Jeff and Liz.
"They're excited for you," Laura giggled.
____________
The studio was like any other. Blinking lights and control panels, glass windows and microphones, burned coffee and stale muffins, eager interns and irritable producers. Laura and I waited behind glass doors under a sign with letters spelling out "on air" illuminated in red. When the sign was turned off, Laura opened the door and rushed into the room where two people sat in chairs with microphones hovering near their mouths.
"Laura!"
"Liz," Laura beamed.
I stood back as the two women embraced. Jeff stood and shook Laura's hand politely. Then all three turned to me. Laura had a smug look on her face as though she were responsible for my presence. Jeff and Liz stared at me like sharks that had just caught the scent of blood. Two malicious smiles spread across their faces instantaneously. I subconsciously turned to locate an exit.
"May I see the question sheet?" I asked quietly.
"I've already read over it. You're fine." Laura waved her hand dismissively and winked at Liz.
"No, I want to see it."
"Listen, pal, we're getting geared up to start the interview. Have a seat there and we'll get you fitted with headphones. We don't have too much time left. Besides, you've been at this a long time. You shouldn't be scared," Jeff said condescendingly.
"I'm not scared, pal." I took a seat.
Jeff leaned into the microphone, "Welcome back to Spill! I'm Jeff and, as always, I'm joined by my lovely cohost, Liz."
"Thanks Jeff," she smiled sickeningly at him. "We have been telling our listeners about this particular show for two weeks now. And that's because we have a very special guest. He's got millions of fans across the world, he's British, and his name is Harry. If you thought we had Harry Potter, I'm sorry to disappoint you. In the studio today is Harry Styles from One Direction!"
"Harry, thanks for joining us, dude. Get really to spill."
"The pleasure is mine. Thanks for having me."
"So proper," Liz faked a British accent horribly. Her Southern California lilt was too overt. "Is it a law to be that proper all the time there in England?"
"No. I guess I just habit from school."
"Well you don't really have much of a need for school now. You are in the most famous band in the world." I winced at the terrible segue. "You don't have a need for most regular things."
"I wouldn't go that far," I muttered.
Liz cut in, "We have to ask, Harry, about Kate."
"Oh?" I felt a blaze of fury ignite inside me. Laura had approved this on the question list.
"Lately you've been seen without her."
I cut in before they could ask the second part of the question—the part where they directly ask if we're together. "Well I'm in the U.S. currently and she's back working in London so it's pretty reasonable that I've been seen without her."
"There have been plenty of rumors," Jeff pushed.
"There always are."
"You were photographed with Whitley Brier yesterday."
"We're friends. I saw her at a wedding."
"But you aren't friendly with her?"
"No, I'm not," I said firmly, dismissing the insinuation.
"I want to talk about Kate a little more," Liz winked at me. "When she goes out, she's almost always wearing this charm bracelet. It's become sort of iconic. Girls all over the world have started wearing similar ones. I heard you gave it to her, Harry."
"I did."
"I read somewhere that the bracelet with all its current charms is worth twelve thousand dollars."
I felt my face flush. I hated talking about money with people. I didn't think it was important how much I spent on people I cared about or how much I spent on myself. "Do you have a question there?"
Jeff laughed, "Tricky, Styles."
"Does she join you on tour?" Liz asked sweetly.
I wanted to change the subject so badly. "If she can, she does."
"How long have you two been dating?"
We dated for a little over a year, but we broke up. We're not together. She's not my girlfriend. I'm not her boyfriend. "Together a little over a year." I phrased it carefully to avoid using present or past tense.
"What's different about touring with a girlfriend."
"If she's along on tour, it makes everything more exciting because I'm sharing it with someone I care about. Experiences mean more to me. But I'm also a lot more protective of her and myself while we're on tour together. If we're apart while I'm touring, I spend every spare moment thinking of her. It's a matter of constantly missing someone. And so I look forward to moments when we're reunited."
"Do you live together?" Liz asked.
I gritted my teeth and glanced in Laura's direction. She stood with her arms across her chest and a cocky smirk on her face through the glass. "No."
"There are always photos of her leaving your house or you leaving her apartment at all hours of the day and night." Liz rested her chin in her hand passively.
"That doesn't mean we live together. It means we spend time together."
"So are those just heated rendezvouses?"
My jaw dropped. Jeff gave a satisfied smirk knowing he had just upset me. "No, they're not."
"What are your younger fans supposed to think when they see you leaving your girlfriend's apartment at five in the morning?"
"Is this a joke?" I said in disbelief.
My fists clenched below the table. The assumptions they were making were offensive. The pair had invited me on their show specifically to mock my relationship and me. They didn't ask about the band. They didn't ask about songs or albums. They didn't even ask about my clothing or cars I drove. They asked about the one thing I was unwilling to talk about. What made it all the worse was that Laura had not only allowed this to happen, she had arranged for it to happen. She was responsible for the ambush. What had she called it...a favor?
"Can't take the heat, Harry?"
"You're out of your minds. Enough. We're done here." I stood up and removed the headset. I calmly set it on the table and left the room. I pushed through the glass doors and had to consciously keep myself from strangling Laura in front of everyone.
"Seems like we've struck a nerve," Jeff said into the microphone. "Harry Styles has left the building. No sweat. One Direction has three shows in California later in October. Be sure to listen to Spill weekdays for a chance to win tickets..."
"You're insane!" I took Laura by the arm and dragged her into an empty hallway. I towered over her and used my height to my advantage. She stared at my chest for a moment before slowly smiling up at me. "What's wrong with you, Laura?"
"It's only an interview, Harry."
"You approved those questions for my interview?"
"Liz promised to go easy on you."
"They crucified me!" I screamed. "And you let them!"
"Lower your voice," she snapped.
"You've gone too far, Laura. You didn't just let them run wild about me, you dragged Kate into this, too."
Laura shrugged halfheartedly. "That may be true, but talking about her generates attention. More people will be talking about you now. It's great publicity. Don't you see that? You talk about her, you win."
"She's not a pawn in some game! She's my girlfriend! She is so important to me. She's not an accessory when I walk the red carpet! She's not some talking point in an interview. She's my girlfriend!" I was seeing red.
"She's not your girlfriend, though, is she Harry?" Laura smirked knowingly.
The earth stopped spinning momentarily.
"You're an unbearably sorry excuse for a professional," I growled quietly.
I stormed down the hallway toward the back doors. Just on the other side, Nick would be waiting with the driver to take us back to the hotel. When I pushed through the doors, I saw him standing in the shade of the SUV. He opened the back door and allowed me to slide in.
"Where's Laura?" he asked.
"Who cares?" Taking my hint, Nick got in the car and the driver shifted into gear.
Halfway back to the hotel, my phone rang. I already knew who it was before answering.
"Harry! I just listened to the interview. Are you okay?" Julia sounded frantic.
"If Laura ever manages another one of my interviews, I will quit the band." The solemnity of my voice made my hair stand on end.
"Harry, I am so sorry. That was a complete mistake. Laura said her friend worked at the station and she would take care of you."
"She threw me to the wolves."
"We already have the public relations team working on this."
"Good."
"Is there anything I can do for you?"
I stared out the window at the slow-moving L.A. traffic. Sun soaked palm trees lined the streets. The sky was cloudless and blue. The air was warm. People's smiles were too wide for their own good. I couldn't form a smile if I had to. I was irritable from sleep deprivation. My heart rate hadn't slowed since finding out about Kate's grandfather. I felt anxious and nauseous and like my heart was miles away.
"Yes. There is something you can do for me."
"Anything."
"I need a plane ticket and two days off."
"Is that such a good idea?" she warned.
"Have Terrence book me a flight and tell Henry I'm going to be gone for two days. I'm taking Nick with me."
"What are you going to do, Harry?"
"Hopefully make things right."