It was two days before we made it to New York, and another few hours that day just getting into the city. Aria and I hadn't talked much, and when we did, we managed to choreograph an entire song and dance around the elephant in the room. They guys suspected nothing, at least, I didn't think they did, and we convinced them that our doctor's appointment later that afternoon was just going to be a dinner date. I'd never lied to my band about where I was going when we were in another city. It was a sort of unspoken rule between the four of us, that way whenever someone inevitably got lost in the unfamiliar streets, somebody always knew where to find them. Luckily, Aria and I knew where we were going.
She was dressed in a white tank-top and my red cardigan, with the sleeved pulled over her hands and balled into her fists. Her hair was in a messy ponytail, which I knew she hadn't had the energy to do anything with today, and her glasses were perched delicately on the bridge of her nose. She was looking over the tops of the rims at me at the moment, sitting on the bunk opposite ours as we awaited the stopping of the bus. Our hands were entangled between us, blocking the way through the narrow room if anybody happened to walk by. I noticed that her nails were painted and chipping, a dark, sticky red color that was a little too similar to that of blood. It was peeling away though, as it had been there a few days, which gave me a little bit of a relief. Maybe this appointment wouldn't be so bad.
I felt her squeeze my hands as the bus shuddered to a stop, the engines shutting down noisily. I looked up to meet her icy blue gaze, her eyes unblinking. Finally, I let go of her hands to sign to her. "No matter what," I promised, knowing that I didn't need to say anything else for her to understand what I meant. She nodded, suddenly getting to her feet and pulling my arms around her. She sat on my lap, straddling me in a way that would have seemed suggestive to anyone else, were it not for the way she shuddered as she pressed her face into my neck. I held her for a few minutes, grateful that no one bothered us while we prepared ourselves.
In a matter of minutes, however, we were walking down a street in New York, our hands held tightly between us, and Aria's eyes glued to the sidewalk. I stared blankly ahead, my eyes trained on the building we were heading towards, and before I knew it, we were sitting side by side in a waiting room. The entire room was white, almost too white, and the hard, plastic chairs we sat in only made the room seem colder than it actually was. Aria was still squeezing my hand. She hadn't even let go of it to sign in with the receptionist. I wanted to say something to her, anything, just to reassure her that it would be okay, but I couldn't. I couldn't do it because I was scared too; Scared and excited and hopeful all at once, because yes, I wanted her to have my children. Someday, though, not right this minute. I knew she wasn't ready and neither was I. Plus, we just started a tour and were hundreds of miles away from home.
"Aria Rose?" A nurse suddenly called from the doorway ahead of us. I snapped my head up as she pulled me from my thoughts, and I turned to Aria. She was still staring absently at the floor, her eyes distant and her face unsmiling. I gently nudged her with my elbow and tugged on her hand, pulling her up beside me as she looked up at the nurse. She swallowed hard and pushed me to walk in ahead of her, though she still held my hand tightly. I pulled her along, listening closely as the nurse began speaking, not realizing that her patient was completely deaf. You'd think they'd have seen that in her file or something when I'd asked her doctor at home to transfer her information to New York for us. I started to wonder if this was the right choice of doctor.
She led us into a room and immediately asked for Aria to strip down and change into a hospital gown. When the nurse left, I relayed her message to Aria, who was already looking up at me expectantly. "She wants you to change," I told her, holding up the neatly folded gown that was sitting on the table. She read my lips and nodded, beginning to pull her shirt over her head. She handed it to me and I set it on the char behind me. When she reached to unclasp her bra, I stopped her and shook my head. "That can stay," I said, "Just everything else." She nodded again, unbuttoning her pants.
Once she had given me all of her clothes an slipped the gown on, she turned around and handed the stings in the back of it to me, silently asking me to tie it for her. I did so, realizing then that my hands were shaking out of nervousness. When I failed to adequately tie the gown shut, she turned around and took my hands in hers, looking up at me with those bright blue eyes of hers. We both froze, just looking at each other for a moment, until Aria reached out to grab my shirt and gently pull me down to her for a kiss. I kissed her slowly and carefully, still afraid of what was about to happen, but feeling oddly contented by her kiss. When she pulled away, she turned and climbed up on the table, sitting there nervously as I stood beside her.
The doctor came in soon enough, flashing a bright smile at us, despite our dismal appearance. "Good morning Miss Rose," the doctor chimed, "How are you this afternoon?"
"She's deaf," I said, a little too viciously. It was annoying me that they didn't know anything about her, as if they hadn't bothered to check her health records, but this woman was going to tell us if we had a child growing inside of her. "I can translate for her," I offered, in an attempt to lessen the blow of my initial outburst. The doctor look at me, considered me for a moment, and then nodded her head.
"Are you her boyfriend?" She asked plainly, looking down at the folders and papers in her hands as she sat at the desk across from us.
"Yes," I stated, reaching for Aria's hand as she looked at me nervously.
The doctor nodded, then looked up at the two of us. "We're going to do two different tests today, because I know you want to be absolutely sure, Miss Rose. So first, I'm going to ask you to give me a urine sample." She held up a little plastic cup, and Aria glanced at me as I signed for her. When she understood, the doctor showed her to the bathroom, and we waited just a few minutes for Aria to return, a slight blush on her face as she glanced at me and handed the cup to the doctor. Once Aria was back on the table, the doctor took a quick blood sample, and told us not to worry or stress over the results of the tests. The urine sample had come back negative just a few minutes after she had handed it off to a nurse, but the blood test, she told us, would take two to three days before she had the results.
Aria and I thanked her, and then we were on our way, still holding hands as we exited the building. Aria seemed to hold my hand a little gentler now, swinging out hands slightly as we walked. I knew she was relieved by the first test coming back negative, but I was still worried about the blood test. The doctor had told us that the blood test would be more accurate, and if it came back positive, we could get a sonogram done to be absolutely sure. The fact that she had even mentioned the possibility of a positive result was freaking me out, and I knew Aria had noticed. By the time we had made it back to the bus, the guys were still out at lunch, leaving us with a little time to ourselves.
I immediately flopped down gracelessly on the couch, and Aria went to the fridge to find something to eat. I watched her patiently, wondering what she must be thinking, and eventually, she sat down beside me with an apple and bit into it, smiling at me while she chewed. I cocked an eyebrow at her, and her smile faltered slightly. She sighed and set the apple down, moving to climb onto my lap. She wrapped her arms around my neck while I placed mine gingerly at her waist. "Patrick," she whispered, gracing me with that beautiful voice of hers. I groaned slightly at the sound and leaned into her, resting my forehead on her shoulder. She hugged me tightly, kissing the side of my head. After a moment, I looked back up at her and she smiled at me. "No matter what," she signed, mimicking my words from earlier that day.
I smirked and nodded, pulling her towards me slightly for a short kiss. She smiled against my lips and pulled away slowly, leaving me wanting more. I moved my hands to her hips and lifted mine towards her slightly, making her giggle as she pushed her hands into my hair. I bit my lip and smirked, gently nudging my nose against hers. I leaned back against the couch again to sign to her, but she kept running her hands through my hair. "I can't wait to have kids with you someday," I told her, my mischievous smirk giving way to a serious, loving smile.
Aria's hands stilled in my hair, then slowly slid down my neck to my shoulders. "Really?" She asked, moving one hand to speak to me. I nodded slowly, leaning towards her again as I ran my hands up her waist, dipping my fingers beneath her shirt. She looked at me in stunned silence for a moment, and then all of a sudden, her hands were tangled in my hair and her lips were attached to mine. Suddenly, I didn't care about the results of the blood test, because I knew I loved her, and I wanted this with her. If it happened a little sooner than we planned, then so be it. Nevertheless, I moved to push her onto her back on the couch, climbing off of her for a moment and jogging into the bunk room to rummage through my bag for a condom. When I found one, I sprinted back to Aria, who was sitting up now in flustered state of confusion. I roughly pushed her back down and climbed over her, kissing her passionately as I did so. She gasped beneath me and started pulling at the buckle of my belt, desperately lifting her hips to mine as I moved to kiss her neck. She arched against me and moaned softly in my ear, spurring me on as I reached between us and pressed my hand over her jeans.
The second my hand made contact with her, gasped and pushed me off of her, scrambling to sit up at the opposite end of the couch. I looked at her quizzically, wondering what I had done wrong, but then I looked up to see Pete and Joe standing in the doorway, right at the top of the stairs leading onto the bus. I flushed and glanced at Aria as I sat back, attempting to fix my belt in embarrassment. She was staring at the floor, and Pete was smirking knowingly at both of us, while Joe simply laughed. "Damn," he chuckled, "I take it that lunch date went well?"
I glared at him and he walked past, chuckling all the way into the bunk room. I glared at Pete next, and he burst out laughing so hard that he had to sit down at the breakfast table to gather his bearings before he could look at me. "I'm so sorry, Patrick," he laughed, "If we had known –"
"Shut up, Pete," I snapped, smiling at him as I rolled my eyes, despite myself. I slid closer to Aria and rested my hand on her leg, making her glance up at Pete nervously. He giggled again, so I grabbed what was left of Aria's apple that she had forgotten, and threw it at him. It hit him square in the chest and he flinched.
"Ow! What the fuck," he whined, throwing the apple back at me. Unlike him, I caught it, making Aria giggle as she snuggled into my side. "Whatever," Pete laughed, "I'm going to get ready for sound check at three, since Andy's already at the venue. No getting freaky on that couch, some of us like to sit there." With that, Pete got up and wandered off towards the bunks as well, leaving Aria and I alone. I looked at her with a bashful smile, and she simply laughed, leaning in to kiss me chastely.
I knew then that we could make this work, no matter what happens. No matter what the outcome of that test might be, we could do it. Either way, the chances of it being positive were slim to none, after we already knew the first test to be negative. I was almost positive that there was no way she could be pregnant, but I also knew that part of me was secretly hoping she was. I wanted a life with her, and I wanted to start that life as soon as possible. I knew I would marry this girl one day, I just didn't know how soon that day might come.