'Right! Come on Zee, I need to talk to you" Niall thought as he searched through his contacts, selecting the one he needed. Nothing.Nada. The contact no longer existed. Niall frowned then looked again. Zayn had cut all ties. Niall leant back against his headboard, devastated as it finally sunk in. Niall recalled only too clearly what Zayn had written in the letter he had left for Niall at the hospital:
"I'll be back in the US by the time you read this. I am going to stay out of your lives now. I want you to know that even though our paths won't cross again, I will always love my four brothers. Stay safe for me, little bro.
Your big brother,
Zayn
Zayn really meant it, "I am going to stay out of your lives now " He had deliberately taken himself out of Niall's life. Niall sat staring at his computer screen,looking totally lost.
"Ring,Ring" Niall blinked. Someone was trying to Skype with him. Louis! Niall quickly answered.
"Hey Nialler, how's it going" Louis looked exhausted but happy as he cradled his newborn son in his arms
"Hey Lou, It's great to see you and the little guy. Congrats" Niall pasted a smile on his face but Louis wasn't deceived.
"Thanks , Bro. But how are you? Really?"
"Great. Doing great" Niall responded quickly.
"But how about you really answer the question.?Like what are you doing up at "Louis glanced at his watch "3am your time? And why you look like absolute Sh*t."
"I did answer " Niall replied
"Nope. You didn't. Ni, I can tell something's wrong. You can't lie, you're useless at it. So tell Uncle Lou what's the matter" Louis used a teasing tone, knowing that if he pushed that little too hard, Niall would clam up. But it was clear from Niall's demeanour that all was not well with the Irishman. Louis glanced down at his tiny son, cradled in his arms "Stay there, Ni. Don't go anywhere. I'll be right back" Louis stood up and went to carefully lay the baby down in his cradle.
As soon as he had left, Niall leant back against his pillows, eyes closed , rubbing his throbbing temples, his brows pulled together in pain from the migraine that was starting. Louis came back quietly and didn't speak as he sat down facing the screen once again. studied his bandmate carefully before he spoke. Niall's face was pale and drawn, his hair looked like Niall had repeatedly run his hands through it and his shoulders were stiff with tension. He was in obvious pain too.
"Liar"
"Mmmh, what?" Niall's eyes jerked open and he sat up abruptly.
"You're a f*cking liar." Louis said bluntly.
"You shouldn't cuss in front of the baby" Niall retorted
"Shut it, Horan" Louis snapped back, feeling irritated, more with himself than with Niall. He stared at Niall who stared back silently. "Niall? Answer me"
"You told me to shut it" Niall retorted, equally snappily.
"Don't f*ck with me Niall. And don't try and change the subject" Louis ran his hands through his own hair in frustration ."Look at you! I'm not stupid and I'm not f*cking blind, either"
"Lou, I'm just tired. I'm fine"
"No, you're not fine , Ni. Come on. I want to help" Louis said quietly. "Ni........."
"OK,OK " Niall gave up, realising that Louis wasn't going to let it drop "I had a really bad nightmare , about the MS and that new treatment and stuff. I wanted to talk to someone...to Zayn...I was going to Skype him but he's deleted his account".
"A ha, so that's why you were signed in. It explains why you weren't too pleased when I popped up. Not me you had hoped to talk with"
"Lou, it's not like that. I'm glad you called, it's just that...I can't explain. Zayn told me he'd always be there for me...and he's not. I know he said he was going to stay out of our lives, but I kinda hoped...." Niall's voice trailed away. Louis groaned to himself. He had been dreading this. They had been so busy protecting Niall from Zayn's comments that he made during recent interviews , they had forgotten Niall might just try contacting Zayn other ways.Louis took a deep breath....
"Look,Bro. Zayn's been distancing himself from us lately. He's, ah. made it perfectly clear in recent interviews that we, none of us, are in touch. He's said some other stuff too. It's been pretty hurtful, to be honest". Louis didn't know how much he should share with Niall. Zayn had pulled Niall through his darkest hours and Niall had come to depend on him. And now Zayn had abruptly withdrawn his support. "Bro, I am sure he still cares about you but he's moved on now" Louis finished quietly.
"What interviews? What's he said? Why didn't you tell me?" Niall's questions poured out in a rush.
"Just interviews, Ni. We didn't want to bother you with it. You were not doing great and we thought it best not to stress you with it." Louis said carefully. None of the boys had wanted to tell Niall what Zayn had been saying about the Band, afraid of the effect it would have on the little blond lad. He idolised Zayn and Zayn had always been the one to make sure Niall was OK.They were petrified of the effect Zayn's latest behaviour would have on their friend who was already both emotionally and physically fragile.
"But I need him, Lou. I can't do this without him Why did he leave me? " Niall sounded desperate .
"You can do this, Ni. You're stronger than you think. You are braver than you know. And you will always have us...me, Liam and Harry. We won't leave you, mate" Louis spoke as reassuringly as he could. He was so worried that Niall was falling apart once again. They had to get Niall through this.
"No, I need Zayn" Niall's voice was barely audible. " He promised me , Louis. He promised that he'd be there and he told me I could always talk to him but he's broken his word".
"Nialler, Zayn has his own demons to fight and he needs time and space . And you can do this" Louis said firmly.
"Yeah, maybe....oh, I don't know" Niall whispered
"You will, Ni. and you're not doing it alone."
"You sound so confident" Niall's voice was flat, sad and tugged at Louis heart.
"I am. And I am the master of all wisdom, remember." Louis sassed and was rewarded by a fleeting smile from his young friend. Louis decided the time was right for a little change of subject and he knew just where that conversation was going.
"Ni?" Louis grinned cheekily
"Yeah, Lou?"
"I hear you've been having assignations with a rather lovely Irish lass."
"I never touched her!" Niall instantly yelled , making Louis collapse into helpless laughter at his friends reaction. It took him several minutes to recover only to laugh again when he saw Niall.
"Niall, you dork. That means you've had a date with a girl."
"Oh..ah..yeah..well...it was Caoimhe. You remember my nurse, the one you said could blanket bath you?.... I.. we...drink." Niall was mumbling so much Louis could only pick up a word here and there., Niall's face was tomato red, even the tips of his ears glowed slightly. Louis knew how shy Niall still could be around women and found it utterly adorable that Niall was looking so bashful.
"Ni?"
"Louis?"
"Ask her out on a date"
"But..."
"Ni...just do it. Hey, I gotta go now. Freddie's going for his first check up. Take care, mate. And remember, you're never alone" And with that, Louis was gone.
Ask her out on a date? Niall lay back, turning the idea over and over in his mind. Would she accept? Why would she want to go out with a man whose future was so uncertain. Niall recalled the tender way Louis had cradled his tiny son in his arms. It was Niall had hoped for the future. A wife, children...his own son. But now? His eyes drifted shut as he pictured Caoimhe's face and soon the only sounds in his room were the ticking of his clock and his own soft snores.