KITCHI
During the past two months, I've only seen the interior of the hospital and our apartment. Now that I can walk outside, I've come to appreciate how the sun feels on my skin. I understand why I had to be confined as I could barely walk past the living room without feeling fatigued. My concentration wasn't even enough to watch a movie. Only a five-minute cartoon entertained me before I would fall asleep again.
By now my hair covers my scar, which feels flat and not the horrible puffed thing I had when I looked at it in a mirror for the first time. Thankfully Olivia came to visit on that day and reassured me it would turn out okay.
I'm so glad Grandma is here to help me. She doesn't drive me nuts like Mom did. Whenever I need something, I let her know and don't receive a reprimand each time I feel like pushing my limits. Mom would ask me every five minutes if I'm okay or need anything, and would forbid me to step out of the hospital room which was against the doctor's orders.
My heart did a flip of joy when I got released and she returned to whatever she was doing at the time I fell ill. I haven't seen her in over six weeks, and can't complain.
What I really miss is Monique's company. I wonder how she's doing and if she thinks of me. After she kissed me at the hospital, we didn't talk much as I wasn't feeling well and when I woke up, she was gone. Did she kiss me out of pity? I hope not. I'll ask one of my brothers to help me get in contact with her again and will find out.
"You are a quiet nurse," I say to Sebastian, who walks next to me and smiles at my teasing. Grandma asked him to keep me company in case I feel unwell. "Are things going to be that way between us?"
"Nah, we are okay," he says.
"I don't freak you with the- The thing in my head."
"No, you can barely see it. Too bad it isn't on your face. It would have made you look wilder."
"Wilder?" I ask and Sebastian nods. "That's a first, no one has called me wild before."
"Come on, Kit. You know that's the reason women drool when they look at you."
"My head must be more fucked up than I thought. You must be talking about Huritt."
"No, I'm talking about you. Monique always came here for you, and female guests have trespassed the property through the patch to watch you from a hidden spot. Chris and I could hear them giggling and talking about how hot you are."
"You must be joking."
"Why is this so difficult for you to believe?" Sebastian halts.
"Because this has never happened. Women never looked at me, it was always Huritt or Rowtag."
"If you are expecting me to say you are pretty or some shit like that, then you are in for an eternal wait."
I laugh at Sebastian's harshness. "Why were you so quiet a few minutes ago?"
"I thought that you wanted it like that. You must be fed up with people asking how you feel," Sebastian shrugs.
This kid knows me too well. "You can't be more right about that. I know people mean well, but it's fucking annoying at times. And why are you still here? Aren't you really going to college? All the kids Istu hired for the summer have left already."
"Only in my dreams. I already had mediocre grades when we lived in the city with my parents fighting constantly. Then we moved here a year ago and found out about the mistress deal. My mom was a mess and for fear that she would do something stupid, I missed many school days to keep an eye on her, and graduated with the minimum requirements. We are trying to pick up the pieces left and make a life here, so I want to work to help with the bills."
"Now I remember Chris told me something about it. I'm sorry to hear that..."
We reach the gazebo by the rose garden where Monique and I sat at before I got sick and my chest gets tight. Happiness lasted short for me. I try to not let the sad funk mess with my moment of freedom and continue our walk.
When I return to the main building, I find Rowtag behind his desk talking on the phone. He makes a hand signal to wait for him.
"Got you something. Can you come with me?"
I follow Rowtag inside the apartment and find Grandma reading a gossip magazine at the kitchen counter.
"Did you enjoy the fresh air?" She asks.
"I did. Depending on how I feel tomorrow, I will try to walk a bit further. Grandma, can I trouble you to make me... Bread- Fuck! A sandwich! Can you make me a sandwich? I think I just burned half of my brain trying to say that," I say while she and Rowtag laugh.
"You are doing well," Rowtag pats my shoulder. "Get comfortable first."
Once in my room, I strip down to my boxers and turn the TV on. Rowtag comes in after a few minutes and places a plate with a sandwich on my night table and hands me a stack of papers.
"What's this?" I ask.
"Emails from Monique from the past two months. I believe you are well enough now to read them. Before you get annoyed thinking I breached your privacy, I haven't read them and only printed them for you just now."
"Thanks, Rowtag."
Rowtag leaves and I devour my sandwich in anticipation of what the papers will say. I then get comfortable in my bed and grab the one on top.
Hello Kitchi. We just arrived home. I never thought it was possible to feel physically ill from missing somebody. I miss you. I'm starting therapy again on Monday, and all I can think of is that I need to get better to see you again. Monique
I let out a deep sigh. She misses me and wants to see me again. It fills me with so much hope. We spent every moment I had free together until the moment I got sick. I loved talking with her, she never made me feel inferior or helpless. I miss her company and looking at her beautiful face. I continue reading her emails, most are catch ups on what she has been doing since she left.
Hello Kitchi. I dared to drive again, not for long though. Just a ride around the block and I had my mom at my side in case something went wrong. It gave me a new sense of freedom. Just like on the day when I rode a horse for the first time with your help. One step closer to see you. Monique
That's great news for Monique. Most of the time, I don't feel like I'm missing on things because I've never done them. I feel so proud of her; every small step is a reason for celebration.
Hello Kitchi. Never in my life I thought I could fall for someone in the way that I have for you. My mom even teases me, saying the only thing left for me to do is draw hearts with your name in them. I'm probably making a fool of myself writing this. You are recovering from your surgery and have other priorities. Monique
Monique is in love with me? A beautiful woman is in love with me!
I startle at the voices arguing outside my bedroom. Is Mom here?
"He's sleeping! Let the kid rest," I hear Grandma say.
"I have the right to see my son."
"Yes, you have made it very clear since Kitchi's surgery which ones are your real sons."
"What are you talking about, Jules?"
"You should stop the bullshit and the abuse. You've picked on Rowtag since he was a kid and now on Huritt and even Istu."
"Because it's Richard's fault that Keith and Isaac are disabled!"
"They are only disabled in your mind! Kit and Istu are independent, capable men and you know well it wasn't Rowtag's fault."
"He got my children hurt. Why mine? He should have been the one to suffer!"
"Are you listening to your words? You accepted my son and his children, signed the adoption papers at your wedding. Are you telling me you did that to put on a show?"
"Richard isn't even his son. Joseph should be grateful that I accepted him and those two boys, made him the successful man he is today, because he was a country bumpkin."
Suddenly I feel feverish and the room spins as I slide down the door supporting me.
"And that country bumpkin protected your reputation when the truth came to light after the accident investigation. The golf cart was yours and you left the key on the ignition. It's been easier to blame the accident on Rowtag when it's actually your fault. I'm ashamed of my son for protecting your reputation instead of protecting his sons."
First silence, then I hear retreating steps and a door slamming. With the last of my strength, I hold on to the doorjamb to stand up and open the door. Grandma holds on to the edge of the kitchen counter while glaring at the closed door.
"Gran-" Is all I get to say before my knees feel weak and the tears choke me. Grandma places her arms around my shaking body. I take a deep breath and clear my throat. "Is it true? Row is not my blood and Huritt is only my half-brother?"
"It's true."
"Do my brothers know?" I look at her green eyes hoping that she's lying to me.
"Only Rowtag knows; a secret he has carried since he was a boy. Your mother's rejection has made him suffer plenty."
"It was Mom's cart. We found it, but she... She... We need to tell my brothers."
"Just not today Kit. Not today."
Grandma escorts me to my bedroom and I hold my aching head as I fall on my bed, my tears wet Monique's last email and I can't believe my mother lied to protect herself.