Chapter 50
Charlotte's POV
"When you feel someone else's pain and joy as powerfully as if it were your own, then you know you really loved them." ― Ann Brashares
( A Year And Half Later)
"Rosie, we need to do this. There is no other way around it. He's almost here, so we need to help him out, okay?" I tried to strengthen my voice, my tears betraying me in the process, hitting Rose's burning skin as I kissed her forehead.
"I can't do this, Char, I can't." She cried, writhing in pain on the hospital bed. My tears fell harder with each one of her cries. She was in pain and there was nothing I could do to make it go away.
We had been at this whole giving birth for hours. From the minute she started feeling the first contractions and had asked William to call me in the middle of the night, to presently; trying to get her to push a little more to help the baby come out.
"You can do this, of course you can. You're the strongest person I know on this planet. You're a badass, babe. The definition of superwoman. Of course you can do this." I encouraged her, cleaning the tears and sweat off her face while she laid her head on my arm with her eyes closed.
I looked at William standing on the other side of her and motioned to him to say something. We knew she was exausted but the only time she could rest was if she finished pushing. She had to do this.
"Babe, come on, don't you want to meet our son?" He smiled. Her eyes shot open as she turned her head towards him, with a stare so deadly that you could see his Adam apple bob as he swallowed.
"Shut up, you did this to me. I never want to have your babies again." She yelled hysterically. I couldn't help but laugh. Poor William.
"Okay, Rose, let's try this again. This time, I want you to push with everything you got." The doctor said, addressing Rose in a soothing voice.
Rose shook her head. With all the tears that we've shed just today, I didn't think we had anymore tears left in us until Rose's eyes met mine, begging me to make it stop.
"Already gave everything I have Char, I'm done. I can't anymore." My heart broke listening to her. Her pain was mine and I was suffering.
I cleared my throat and I straightened my body, narrowing my eyes to try to intimidate her a little. I was feeling all sort of wrong about it but if I wanted to meet my nephew, I had to do this. The longer she wasn't pushing, the less the baby was breathing. He needed to get out and she was going to make sure it happened.
"Now you listen to me young lady, I'm no doctor but if I have to, I will put my hand in there and pull that baby out myself." She laughed, reminding me of the episode of Jane The Virgin when she had her baby.
"You're not really that scary." Her laugh mixed with a cry. I pressed my forehead her temple and smiled.
"I know sweetie, I know."
Finally, she then took a deep and long breath. "Okay, let's get this baby out of me."
I jumped a little with excitement. "Oh yeah? Great, let's do this doc." I yelled a bit too loudly. Everyone around me started laughing as Rose started pushing, her face the picture of determination. We were going to get this baby out.
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"I think that I see something deeper, more infinite, more eternal than the ocean in the expression of the eyes of a little baby when it wakes in the morning and coos or laughs because it sees the sun shining on its cradle." ~(Vincent Van Gogh)
"I think I just might be in love." I murmured, staring into the face of my nephew while he slept in my arms, holding onto my finger with his tiny hand. I had stayed at the hospital with Rose while William quickly went home for a shower and to grab a few other things.
Our friends had shown up to see the baby and had finally left, only a few minutes ago, promising to come back before Rose was let out.
A few feet away from where I was currently slow moving with the baby, I heard Rose's tired voice as she laughed. "You've been saying that for the past thirty minutes."
"Because it is true." I looked at her for a second, just a second, before turning my devoted attention to the cutie in my arms.
Levy Brice Ashton was the mixture of his mom and dad. He was, hands down, the cutest baby I had ever seen. And as I watched him in my arms, my heart warmed up. I just couldn't believe how much I loved him already.
The day Rose had come to me and told me she was pregnant was still vivid in my brain. It had been one of the happiest days of my life to see how happy she was. Now that she had graduated college and had been working for a few months, it only made sense that a baby was next. That was what she had wanted since they had gotten back from their honeymoon.
I knew Rose was going to be the best mother a kid could hope for, if how she took care of me was any indication of the type of person she was, Levy was lucky. I was over the moon for her, she deserved all the happiness possible on this planet.
Life hadn't really been the easiest for Rose growing up, but somehow, she had turned a horrible upbringing into something wonderful.
I realized I might have been crying as Levy's face became blurry, laughing at how emotional I had been all day, which was pretty insane considering the fact that I wasn't the one who had been pregnant and had just given birth.
There was a soft knock on the door. I looked at Rose and noticed her eyes were closed. "Come in," I called to the person behind the door, turning my body fully to be able to see who was coming in.
"Hi, sorry to bother you guys but I am here to get the baby." One of the nurse's that had been present while Rose was giving birth, walked in with a smile displayed on her face.
"Oh yeah, of course." I said as I handed the baby over to her, watching as she placed him in his little basket and started to push him out.
"He'll be back very soon." She told me as Rose's eyes fluttered open, the panic and terror in her eyes evident the second she registered what was happening.
"Wait, where are you taking my baby?" She straightened herself on the bed to be able to seat. The nurse stopped moving so that she could answer her.
"Don't worry Rose, I promise he'll be right back. The doctor just needs to check him a little more to make sure everything is okay and I'll bring him back."
In the right circumstances, it wouldn't have been such a big deal, but after what she had just been through and how exausted she was, it was harder for the nurse to convince Rose that she wasn't trying to steal her child.
"It's okay Rosie, he'll be right back, you'll see." I smiled at her. "I was going to get some coffee but if you want, while you're sleeping, I'm going to go keep an eye on him." I told her which was when she finally calmed down, her eyes shutting down slowly after a few minutes.
The nurse glanced over at me with a smile before making her way out. I made sure that Rose was fully asleep before walking out myself. I headed to the hospital's cafeteria to get myself a coffee and a muffin.
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"We need to give each other the space to grow, to be ourselves, to exercise our diversity. We need to give each other space so that we may both give and receive such beautiful things as ideas, openness, dignity, joy, healing, and inclusion." ~Max de Pree
The nursery was my second destination after the cafeteria. So, with my muffin in hand and my coffee carefully wrapped in a few napkins to be able to hold it without burning my fingers, I made my way. I hadn't realized how hungry I was until now.
I looked up ahead of me as I placed the coffee cup on my lips and almost had a heart attack as my eyes registered what was in front of me.
Standing just a few feet away, in front of the glass that separated the newborns to their admirers, was the man that had stolen my heart over three years ago.
"Darcy." I murmed, stopping dead in in my tracks. And, as if he had heard me, he turned his head towards me. My heart skipped and then stopped.
To be honest, I wasn't sure how long I had stayed standing in the middle of the hallway, until finally I came out of my frozen state. With a very deep breath, I shook myself mentally and started approaching him. Slowly.
It was as though I was almost scared to stand next him, noticing then, my hands shaking and my body trembling.
I hadn't seen Darcy in two years. The last time I had been in physical contact with him, had been that night at my apartment. I had thought I was fine. I had thought I was over him. But now, standing next to him, smelling him; I found myself wondering if it all had been a lie. A way for me to continue living, to heal, to move on.
Maybe that was what I was supposed to do in order for me to keep my head above the water, in order for me to breathe, to survive. It had taken a lot from me, letting him go had taken a lot from me.
Darcy had been one of the very few people I had loved in my life. One of the very few people that had, in someway or another, cared for me.
Was I stupid? Was I stupid to find myself wanting him after all this time? Wanting to be held by him? To hear his voice tell me it was all okay?
I wanted him to look at me and smile that Darcy smile. The smile that made me really question if the sun could ever shine as bright as the way his eyes shined when he looked at me.
How was it possible that, after all this time, I was still in love with James Darcy. I stood next to him and stared straight through the glass window. there were a lot of babies currently being taken care of by the nurse's inside the closed room.
"Charlotte." his deep voice caressed my skin as I heard my name come out of his mouth. It was something like a lullaby.
"Mr. Darcy." My voice broke a little.
"How have you been?"
I stole a tentative glance towards him while he kept staring at the babies, squirming in their little baskets, while some of them were peacefully asleep. He looked good, really good.
"I've been good." I answered. "Do you know which one you're looking for?"
In the corner of my eyes, I saw him nod. "William had shared his name with me."
Ah, yes, that made sense. I had heard from Rose, about a year ago, that Darcy and William had finally gotten into business together. I wasn't sure what it was since I hadn't wanted to know, but I guess it was working out for them, since they were still business partners.
"Have you been here long?" I asked for lack of anything else adequate to say. Not that I didn't have a billion questions running track in my head, but that one seemed to be the only one I was willing to ask.
"About fifteen minutes. I'm actually going head out now." He finally turned his whole body, facing me.
My heart hadn't stopped wanting to jump out of my chest, in fact, it had gotten worse as I finally gazed into his eyes. "Charlotte, for what it's worth, I'm truly sorry for what I had done to you. I had acted very inappropriately, I was selfish and abusive. I'm so sorry. You did not deserve anything I put you through."
I knew what he was talking about, he didn't have to say much. "Thank you." I attempted a smile. "I'm_" I barely started before I heard a woman call his name from somewhere behind me.
"Darcy, I'm sorry but if we want to make this dinner on time, we have to leave right now."
I looked back to find a brown hair, blue eyes, female walking towards us. She was wearing a very fitting black dress that stopped just shy of the knees, hugging her curves while at the same time looking a bit conservative.
"Yeah, Brene, I was just saying goodbye." He told all the while still holding my gaze. "Brene is my assistant, we are having dinner with her wife tonight for her birthday." He explained as if reading my thoughts. I nodded once.
"It was nice seeing you, Charlotte." He said and then started walking away from me as he had done so, two years ago. I turned around and watched him stride towards the elevators, nodding once at something the female had just said to him, before walking into the opened doors of the elevator.
I kept my eyes fixed on him and held his gaze until the doors finally closed and just like that, he was gone."I miss you." I murmed to no one in particular as everything became once again blurry.
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"The pain of parting is nothing to the joy of meeting again." ― Charles Dickens
Lying on my bed that night, I found myself unable to find sleep. I became more and more irritated, wondering why I had come home and had left Rose's side if I couldn't sleep anyway.
Seeing Darcy earlier was very unexpected, to say the least. I had wondered, many times in the last years, what it would be like to once again find myself in his company, but nothing had prepared me for the feelings I would have experienced.
Why, after all these years, had the planets decided to take away the little joy I had found for myself. I had missed Darcy terribly, and that was me being honest with myself. I had missed not only the good part of him, but sometimes I found myself missing even the bad because that was what constituted of his person.
The good, the bad, the ugly and the beautiful came together in union and made this human that I had fallen madly in love with.
I had loved that man because he was broken and yet so strong. I had loved him, because no matter how much hurt and pain his family had inflicted on him, he was still able to find forgiveness for his mother. I loved him because he had risked prison, to keep someone he had cared for safe. And, to the very core of my soul, I had loved him with my whole being because he had showed me that sometimes, being flawed was where you found beauty.
It is the most unfortunate that wisdom only came to those that had gone through time. Had I been more forgiving, maybe I would have had him in my life again, or maybe not.
It was easy to judge someone when you were on the outside looking in, but until you experienced the same heartache, loss and betrayal one felt at seeing the person they were in love with, sleeping with someone else, you couldn't possible understand.
I got off my bed and walked out of my bedroom, having heard the door bell ringing. "Who is it?" I yelled, standing on my tippy toes to peek into the peephole. My heart stuttered, again for the second time today.
Was I going crazy or was Janes Darcy really standing in front of my door waiting for me to open it. I didn't waste any time, I flipped the locks quickly before pulling the door open.
"Hello, Charlotte." He stood there with his hands in his pants pockets as if he owned the world.
"Hello, Mr. Darcy." I breathed out, gazing into his beautiful and mesmerizing eyes. I had so much I wanted to say. So much.
"I'm going to walk through that door and I'm going to kiss you. I'm going to kiss you because I love you. I'm going to kiss you because I missed you so fvckng much. I'm going to kiss you because I realized that I couldn't possibly live my life without you in it, because it just doesn't work. My life just doesn't work."
"Darcy_" my voice broke. He took a step forward.
"I'm going to kiss you, Charlotte, and then I'm going to beg you to forgive me. Because, as I learned in therapy for the past year in half, that sometimes, it's not about seeking apologies from people you think have wronged you, but it's about seeking forgiveness from the people you've hurt and you've wronged."
He took another step forward again, now standing so close to me, I could feel his heart beating. "I'm going to kiss because you love me as much as I love you. I'm not going to let our stubbornness get in the way of our happy ending anymore. God knows we deserve it, more than anything, we've paid our dues."
I felt those tears fall on my cheeks. This time, I found myself grinning like a person on ecstasy, I realized that those tears had nothing to do with sadness and freaking everything to do with happiness. I jumped in his arms and the second he caught me, I pressed my lips to his and it was everything.
All of the sudden, it was as if the earth shifted and we were flying. It was amazingly wonderful, incredibly beautiful and just...us. It was Darcy and Charlotte. And, at that moment, I realized that nothing mattered but his lips on mine, and his body pressed tightly against me. It was fire, rain. It was rainbows and butterflies.
It fvckng unicorns. Darcy and Charlotte. It was happy. It was our happy. As unconventional and as broken as it was.
THE END!!!
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BOOK 2: "ONE DAY, MAYBE "
BOOK 2 IS STILL ABOUT DARCY AND CHARLOTTE!!!
Guys let's take a second to appreciate a very long last chapter of Hello, Mr. Darcy and then let me know what you thought of the whole book in the comments. Don't forget to vote for the very last time!
That's it guys, we are done. This was it. I had told the story of a dysfunctional relationship the way I had uncomfortably imagined it until the end.
I appreciate you guys for sticking around to finish this.
I love you Oodles and Noodles. 😭😭😚😚
Next stop is Book 2 "One Day, Maybe" 😆😆