(Author's Note: The story is now in Nira's point of view.)
I was getting drowsy again when the doctors said I was ready to return to Kylo Ren's quarters. My eyelids kept slowly drooping downwards and I yawned several times on the way there.
They had me cuffed to a miniature droid that lead me to his cell. The door slid open and the droid hobbled in, dragging me with it. I reluctantly entered the room. He wasn't in the central area, but the bathroom door was shut, so I assumed he was in there.
"Kylo Ren." The droid's robotic monotone sounded throughout the room. The bathroom door flew open, making me jump, and Kylo Ren . . . whoa.
He walked out quickly only in plain black pants and black socks. He didn't wear his mask or armor, which I think was one of my favorite parts of his appearance at that time. He was in the midst of pulling a tight undershirt on and I glimpsed at his flat and severely toned torso. He got the undershirt on. Kylo Ren's hair was wet; it hung loosely around his head and I couldn't breathe for a moment while I admired him, unable to help myself.
Well anyways, he walked out of the bathroom.
He glanced down at the droid, up at me, and then nodded to the droid. I was uncuffed. The droid hobbled out and I rubbed my sore wrists, not moving. Kylo Ren watched me.
"Hello Nira." His smooth and tranquil voice seemed to wrap around me. I knew he wasn't trying to be seductive, but damn, Kylo Ren was seducing me pretty badly.
Snap out of it, I scolded myself in my head. How could I have be thinking of this fiend in that way? In an instant I was disgusted myself.
I finally replied seriously, "Kylo Ren." I nodded my head formally. I then felt him reach into my mind and I physically rolled my eyes. I didn't care if he saw me go through with the sassy action. He needed to know that it irritated me when he did that. My mind was exactly like it sounded like; my mind. What comes and goes through there is none of Kylo Ren's business.
I felt him withdraw. "You are tired." He stated, staring into my eyes. I nodded, unsure of what else to do. "Go to sleep. You can sleep in my bed." He ordered, gesturing towards the bed with the black comforter. I remember lying in there and feeling anxiety tearing at all of my nerves as Kylo Ren kissed my neck. It felt like forever ago, but really it hadn't happened too long before this.
"Can I brush my teeth or change clothes?" I asked, looking down at the clothes I wore. "Yes. There are nightgowns in that closet, and a toothbrush setting out in the bathroom." He pointed to the closet and then stuck his thumb behind his shoulder towards the bathroom.
I walked to the closet and pulled out the most beautiful, dark, elegant, sinister nightgown I'd ever seen. It was plain, black, long-sleeved, and when I walked into the bathroom, pulled off my other clothes, and tried it on, it went straight down to my feet. I know it doesn't sound too corrupt (I mean, it's only a nightgown, right???), but something radiated from it -- something evil.
I looked at myself donning the thing in my mirror and I felt more powerful than I'd felt without it. I suddenly felt as if I could stride out into middle of The First Order's venue and conquer the entire damned place.
It slightly shimmered in the light when I turned -- not enough to be diagnosed as glittered, but too much to be called glinted. The gown wasn't as skin-tight as my previous clothes The First Order had given to me, but it was relatively close-fitting until my knees were it flowed outwards.
I felt dominant and mighty wearing that nightgown, and I loved it.
I brushed my teeth and walked back into the room, my confidence levels heightening with each step. Kylo Ren had his back to me. He turned, saw me, and his eyebrows raised. That was all. He merely raised his eyebrows, and then his eyes trailed up and down my body. I no longer felt dominant, mighty, or powerful under his deep gaze. I felt uncomfortable. I folded my arms across my chest and slightly bowed my head so he couldn't make eye contact.
"Nira, are you going to climb into bed?" His thick voice finally spoke. "Oh, yeah." I mumbled, now slightly embarrassed I had just stood there for such a long time.
I climbed under the warm comforters and scooted as close as I could to the wall. I turned on my side and faced the wall. Kylo Ren dimmed the lights in the room.
I was semi-conscious -- I was the kind of conscious where you're halfway asleep but you're still slightly aware of what's going on around you. I could faintly hear Kylo Ren moving things around and doing things quietly. I was almost out if it when an even occurred that jolted me out of my almost-slumber so I was fully alert.
The event occurred when I could feel myself really beginning to slip into sleep. That's when the platform of the bed shifted significantly. My eyes flew open. I was shocked, and my heart pounded hard. The bed barely creaked but the blankets shifted and I knew that Kylo Ren was under them. With me.
Had I been so tired I wasn't thinking clearly and didn't question where Kylo Ren himself would sleep? I tensed up, wondering what was going on in my stupid mind when I agreed to sleep in his bed. I prayed that he would just fall asleep.
My prayers were, to my horror and dismay, not answered. I felt something on the back of my neck; three smooth fingertips. I realized it was the first time I've ever felt his actual hands touch me and not his gloves. His finger pads were course on the edges but extremely soft in the middle. They dragged slowly down my neck and I cringed, shutting my eyelids tightly.
I was scared. Really scared. The only thing that flew through my head was, What is he going to do to me?
His fingertips reached the beginning of my nightgown and stopped. They pulled away from my skin. I then felt my hair being lifted by no one other than Kylo Ren. I felt him gently tug his fingers to the end of the few strands he had picked up, and then he let them fall back down.
I waited and anticipated where he would touch next; it was my head. He used all five fingers to comb gently through my hair. It was a slow process, and it felt so good. It was like a massage.
Nevertheless, the person who was giving me the massage gave me anxiety.
I took a deep calming breath in through my nose and out through my mouth to soothe the scream I could feel that was begging to erupt.
His fingers left my hair for several moments and I thought with relief, He's done.
But he wasn't. I felt his hand grab my shoulder and softly pull backwards. I didn't comply to his nonverbal demand immediately, so he pulled on my shoulder hard enough that I had to roll over. I was now lying on my back with my hands folded across my stomach. Apprehension was running through me, and signs in my head sounded out, Warning, warning, this is NOT safe!!!!
I looked at him through the corner of my eye. He was propped up on one elbow and his other hand lingered on my shoulder. I could barely see his face through the dimmed lights, but I could distinguish parted lips. In the silence I heard his breaths; some were tranquil and some were slightly shaky.
Oh my, he is so . . . Attractive, I thought. I was repulsed by my thinking but I knew now in this moment that my feelings were true. No longer did I think that my attraction to him was just a figment of my imagination, and no longer did I think that the only reason I felt those attractions was because a boy had never looked at me the way he had. I knew that I really was attracted to him, and I was disgusted by the fact.
His hand left my shoulder. "Nira . . ." Kylo Ren whispered, and I melted a little under the sound of his low voice. I hated myself for liking the way he pronounced my name, and I hated myself for desiring to hear him say it again.
I focused back on the ceiling sort of, but watched him in my peripheral vision. Even though I was attracted to him, I didn't want him to touch me. I was attracted to him, but I hated him. I was attracted to him, but I didn't want him near me. I was attracted to him, but I didn't want any of what was going on right now to continue. I knew I was in danger because I could easily tell the attraction was mutual between us and I hadn't a clue what he was going to do next.
I watched him place his fingertips on my stomach and begin lightly tracing circles. Nothing about this was 'cute', or 'adorable'. It was all so mature, intense, and intimate, even tracing circles with fingertips.
I was so confused by my own emotions. I wanted him to keep touching me, I wanted him to take me in his arms, and I wanted him to kiss me; yet, I wanted him to leave, I wanted to never see him again, and I wanted him to be as equally repulsed by me as I him.
I still felt as if I were under some sort of threat as his fingers continued their circular trail.
The situation's imminent danger then increased by a hundredfold -- I felt imaginary fingers enter my mind and I knew he was processing my every emotion. His fingers froze on my torso and I could feel him sifting through my thoughts. Oh, how I dearly hated that.
For several instants it was just our soft breathing. I was nervously anticipating what he would say or do and I could tell he was thinking over the information he was finding in my head.
Finally he made his move.
"You want me." Kylo Ren whispered. Oh shit, I thought. I did not like where this was going.
His fingers resumed their repetitive motion. It brought a small tingling to my stomach.
"You want me to touch you." He whispered again. His hand flattened against my stomach simultaneously as the words left his mouth.
"You want me to hold you." His voice gained volume as he wrapped his entire arm forcefully around my torso and pulled me close, pinning me against his body. I sucked in a short breath out of surprise and terror instantly radiated within me. I looked straight forward at his collarbone and pressed my lips together to form a thin line.
Still holding me so I was attached to him, he lowered his head so his lips were at my jawbone. "You want me to . . . Kiss you." Kylo Ren whispered and I looked up at the ceiling, so terrified, wanting this to continue, but wishing it would end more.
His lips then made contact with my jawbone. They were soft and plush and the contact sent a fluttering feeling up and down my entire body. I swallowed nervously as his lips disconnected and reconnected to a part higher up on my jawbone.
He continued placing light pressure on my jawline with his lips until he reached right below my earlobe. Kylo Ren took his lips off of me and I felt his hot breath against my ear. I was breathing panicked, quiet breaths through my nose, my chest going in-and-out rapidly. Each time I breathed my chest pressed harder against his.
All was quiet except for our breaths.
He then whispered barely audibly, "You want me to do things to you that your parents would call sins. You want me to give your inexperienced self some lustful experience."
Kylo Ren ever so gently bit on my ear lobe and pulled his teeth slowly off of it. This sent an intense prickling into every part of my body, and oh, I loved it. My heart was thumping uncontrollably in my chest and I was sure he could feel it.
For an instant it was just Kylo Ren and I listening to each other's breaths and savoring the sensation of our bodies touching.
"Yet, you don't want me at all." He said.
He released me from his grasp and for a moment I lie there confused, then I rapidly scooched over to my side of the bed. I wrapped myself in covers and turned to the face the wall. I attempted to control my shrill, heavy, scared breathing.
I could sense his eyes on my body still, and finally, I felt him retract from my mind.
What just happened?!? My mind was in full panic mode but I had to stay calm. I knew after tonight I couldn't sleep in that bed again. Never. He had enticed me and then terrified me to the point where I nearly began crying afterwards, facing that wall.
I didn't turn back over but I heard Kylo Ren move around to get comfortable and in a few minutes I heard his breathing enunciate and slow down. He was asleep.
I couldn't fall asleep for hours. The only thing I could think about was what had just happened. I could only think about the feeling of his lips on me, his gentle touch, and how much I wanted more but how genuinely scared of him I was.
My thoughts on Kylo Ren were a puzzle that it seemed I would never be able to complete.
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Author's Note
So vote if you liked that and comment because it makes me feel happy :)
I have a snow day!!! So I might try to update again but I'm going to a movie and spending time with my family and I have studying but I'll try my best!
I hope you liked this chapter because it was so fun for me to right it! hahaha!
Okay bye for now :)