Chapter Four
Okay...now...
I gingerly sat up on the bed, cringing when it slightly creaked under the shift of weight. I was able to toss my legs over the edge before I felt Harry grab tightly onto my wrist, pulling me easily down on top of him. I immediately tried pulling away, but his hands immediately overpowered me, and I was left straddling him. Thick strands of my auburn hair hung limply in my face, and I stared down at Harry in the hazy darkness of my room. Ever since I moved here I had the drapes of my window wide open so it wouldn't get dark. But of course, the first thing Harry did was close them completely, because I knew perfectly well he could only sleep when it was pitch dark.
"Where do you think you're going?" His raspy voice, thick with exhaustion, asked. I felt his hands leave my wrists and fall on my thighs, gently squeezing the thick skin.
"I was going to the bathroom." I replied quietly.
I sat up a little on the bed, propping his back up against the headboard and I could see his lips whorl into a half smirk, "You didn't ask me."
"I don't have to ask you." I froze when I realized what I had said. My ass seemed to throb as a painful reminder that now I couldn't talk to Harry like that. Fourteen days ago, I could have-but times have changed. Unfortunately.
I thought maybe Harry had a chance of...I don't know, becoming a better person? I was starting to slowly see the goodness inside of him. But now it looked like we were back to square one.
And it wasn't even my fault.
"I'll admit," Harry said, "I've missed your little attitude, Claire." I felt his hands slowly reach around my thighs, easily cupping my back end and I stiffened, inhaling sharply when my skin prickled under his mere touch. I closed my eyes tightly, my heart stopping dead in my chest. "I really don't mind reminding you of who's in charge. It amuses me."
"How can this possibly be amusing?" I asked in a low breath.
"It's amusing because you actually think you can overpower me." Harry replied, raising one hand to run it down my cheeks. I immediately pulled away from his touch, opening my eyes to give him a steely glare. "You actually think your words can make a difference in what I do. But you forget who I am. I'm the one in control. I call the shots." His voice turned edgy, and a small voice in the back of my head claimed he was saying this mostly to himself, trying to convince himself that he had everything under control, when in reality, everything was out of his control. He wasn't back in London; he didn't have low-life gangs cowering at his feet, practically kissing the ground he walked on. No, he was in the real world. He was in my world, and he definitely didn't belong here. It was exactly how I didn't belong in London. Our situations have strangely reversed in a span of 14 days.
I shouldn't be afraid of him. I could grab a phone and have him arrested very easily. Surely he still had a notorious reputation that a lot of people knew of. I didn't know how he got out of jail back in London, but there was no way he could pull that off again.
He had no power.
And it was killing him, tearing him up inside. I could see it written all over his eyes. It was then I realized that was why he was making such a huge point in showing his dominance over me-I was quite literally the only person he still had control over, excluding the rest of the boys.
I clenched my teeth as I stared down at him. His eyes were taunting me, daring me to object to him. I remembered when I first met him, and how I would easily mouth off to him. I was such a different person-so unaware of the horrors of the world. But the more time I spent with the man underneath me, the more I could feel my entire perspective on everything I once knew change...
"You can't control everything." I whispered, letting myself lean forward to let my head peer down into his. I could see his entire face go from a smirk to an emotionless mask. He was not pleased with what I had said. "You're still angry with me because I was forced to choose between my best friend and a man who had turned my whole world upside down? Fine. But you and I both know you're not just acting this way because of that-there has to be something else."
"You left me." Harry whispered. His arms tightened around me, pulling my body down flush against his. Every angle, every plane of our bodies fit almost perfectly together as one. My eyes widened when I was staring right into his eyes, seeing the pure betrayal written in them. "You ran the first chance you got."
"I had to; there were people shooting. I didn't know what else I could do." I replied, frowning a little.
"You expect me to believe that? There is one thing I'm sure of: You lied to me." I felt his hand running down my spine, his hot breath fanning across my lips. "And I'll never forget it."
"You practically held me captive." I said louder, more defensively. I tried sitting up but Harry simply held me to him, refusing to even let me move. "I was living perfectly fine. I was happy. And then I made the mistake of running into that alleyway, and I made the mistake of taking your damn jacket. From then on, you ruined my life."
"Claire-"
"-you treat me like some kind of object." I cut him off, something I knew he hated. He flipped us over so I was the one lying on my back and he was lying on top of me, straddling my waist. "I'm not an object, Harry. I'm a human being."
"You're mine," He snarled in a heated whisper, both of his hands held on either side of my head, trapping me beneath him. His head leaned down, our noses practically touching.
"You're desperate, aren't you?" I asked, smiling bitterly. "All your life, you've had control over people-with fear. You made people fear you so they didn't question anything you did. But now that all that power has been taken away from you, you're trying to control me. It's what you need."
"You better shut your fucking mouth."
"You can't always control people, Harry. It's not right. It'll only backfire and cause you to lose everything." I stared up at him, unable to blink. "Look what happened in London."
"No, look at what happened to Carlotta." Harry hissed, his eyes blazing in fury. I froze a little under his fiery gaze, wondering if I had treaded too far. "I was so close to killing her, you know. I had a gun and everything. But she fucking blew her brains out-she would rather take her own life than give me the satisfaction of doing it. And believe me, I wanted nothing more than to see her die under my hands. Do you know how I escaped jail, Claire?"
I was silent, staring up at him. There was, once again, something off with him.
He wasn't in control.
Right now, he was unbalanced.
"There was a young man who worked as a janitor." Harry said calmly after a few seconds. I felt his long fingers running through my hair, his voice almost soothing, though his words weren't. "He was a young guy, probably just out of high school. So two days before my death sentence, I told him my boys and I were planning to break out the very next day. I told him that it was a 100% successful plan. I warned him that as soon as I got out, I would find each and every family member of all the employees who worked there, and I would kill them. So I told him that if he let me out then and there, then his family would be safe. But if he didn't, I would kill each and every one of them slowly and leave him alive to live out the miserable rest of his life. Did you know janitors have very low-paying jobs? I found that utterly ironic because he had so much power-he had access to every single key to every cell in the entire facility." Harry was smirking down at me, sounding cocky and sure of himself now. "So he let me go. I found Louis and got him out, too. As we were heading out, we ran into Carlotta and things got...messy." He chuckled under his breath, his hand closing in around a certain strand of my hair.
"Well what do you expect to do now?" I asked slowly. "You have no gang. Do you plan on hiding out here in these apartments?"
"Oh no." Harry said quickly. "I have a plan for the future. And you're in it." His lips smirked, his dimples popping on either side of his cheeks as he leaned up to give me a quick, chaste kiss. "I always have a plan, Claire. I always know what I'm doing."
"What's your plan?"
His hands released me and I immediately got off of him, resuming my spot next to him on the bed. There was a distance between us again, and I already felt relieved from his loss of contact.
"Just let me handle it." He replied vaguely, pulling the covers up more to cover his bare chest. He got silent so I assumed it was time to sleep.
I lay there for an hour or so, just staring up at the ceiling. I could hear Harry's soft breathing when he did fall asleep. Quietly, I pulled the covers away and crawled out of the bed, walking silently to the door and slipping out. I closed it softly, holding my breath, and I exhaled in relief when Harry didn't wake up.
What the hell was happening?
I wandered down the hallway to the living room; I saw a bundle of blankets on the floor and assumed it was Niall sleeping. I then saw Zayn asleep on the couch, his long legs stretched over the edge of it, a blanket loosely strewn across his chest. The room was eerily silent, and I wondered where Fran and Perrie were.
"What are you doing?" A quiet whisper alerted me from behind. I jumped a little from the sudden noise, but my heart calmed down a bit when I saw it was Eleanor. She was wearing the same exact clothes earlier, but her hair looked messier.
"I'm just...walking around." I replied in a low whisper, taking a step towards her. "What're you doing up?"
She completely ignored my question and said, "Please follow me." Confused, I followed right behind her into the bathroom. She closed the door behind me, and I flipped on the light. In the bright lighting I could see her scar much more clearly, and it looked all much more painful in the clear lighting.
"Eleanor," I murmured, "what happened to you?"
"It was during the shootout." She replied quietly, placing the toilet seat down and sitting on it. "A man got a hold of me and held me hostage. He managed to c-cut my cheek and scar it, but Zayn was the one who saved me."
"Do you need a band aid or something?" I asked, standing in front of her, unable to not stare at the scar. It really did look painful.
"No, it's fine." She shot me a feeble smile and sighed. "Claire, I'm so sorry for what has happened to you."
I felt myself smiling as I lowered myself onto the floor, sitting down and wincing from sitting on my bum. I easily ignored the pain and pulled my knees to my chin, saying, "It's nothing I can't handle."
I was bluffing, of course. I could remember how I was unable to help Perrie for a while; I was so afraid of Harry.
"I just...I needed someone to talk to." Eleanor muttered.
"About what?"
"Ever since Louis returned, he's never been the same."
I quirked an eyebrow. "How so?"
"H-he won't let me out of his sight. He used to trust me so much, Claire. He used to always compliment me and buy me things." She rubbed at her reddening eyes, shaking her head. "I know I may sound spoiled and childish, but Louis did everything he could to spoil me, you know? I felt so special to him. He would always randomly kiss me and tell me how much he cared about me. He would always smile and hold me, but now he's always so serious. Ever since he got back from the jail, it feels like he's a different person." She was crying now, her frail body shaking a little from the effort.
I stared at her, wide-eyed. I honestly didn't know what to say, or even think about this. Eleanor and Louis used to be so cute...he used to make it so obvious to us that he was completely smitten by Eleanor, and the same with her.
But seeing her look so broken and weak made me feel...terrible.
"He yelled at me the other day," Eleanor said shakily. "He yelled at me because I left the room without telling him. I-I've never been yelled at by him before. It scared me so much...He even threw me over his shoulder to carry me back." More tears were streaming down her face, and she was hiccupping from the sobs racking through her body.
I knew Eleanor did nothing wrong. Unlike me, she was perfectly innocent in all of this. I saw no reason why Louis should be mad with her.
Unless...
"I think he's worried about you." I said quietly. Eleanor paused in crying, pushing some frizzy bangs out of her eyes to look at me. "I think he's so scared of losing you. That's why he won't let you go anywhere without telling him." I forced a strained smile at her, hoping to calm her down.
But it didn't work.
"I waited for days, praying and hoping he was going to live." Eleanor buried her face in her hands, her thick, long strands of hair falling over her face, hiding her completely. "I-I was so afraid of losing my Louis. And I think I did, because the man that came back is not the man I fell in love with. This one scares me, so much."
I sighed and said, "Come here." Not knowing what else to do, I crouched in front of her and hugged her to me. She cried loudly in my chest, unable to contain her sobs, and I held her, gently rocking back and forth and running my hands through her grimy hair. This poor girl went from having absolutely perfect hair to...this disaster.
"I think he doesn't love me anymore." Eleanor murmured when she was done crying. She was sniffling now, and I handed her some toilet paper to dab at her nose. "I-I think it's because I'm so ugly now."
"Ugly?" I exclaimed in shock. Eleanor was not ugly. She was one of the most beautiful women I've ever met-on the inside and out.
She wordlessly pointed to the scar, her entire face twisting in pain again. "I catch him staring at it, you know. He stares at my scar, and even when I notice it he doesn't stop. He seems to get so angry when he looks at it. W-what if he doesn't love me anymore because I'm so ugly?"
I immediately shook my head, unable to resist reaching out and pulling her long hair from her face. "You are not ugly, Eleanor. That scar doesn't change anything about you. I know Louis loved you deeply, I know it. It was the first thing I noticed. So I'm positive he still loves you just the same. He just may feel...somewhat guilty when he sees the scar."
She was dabbing at her red eyes now, her hands trembling. She glanced back at me and chuckled humorlessly, "I'm sorry for dumping this all on you..."
"Hey, you helped me with my problems with Harry." I said, smiling gratefully at her. "And-"
"-where is she?" Louis's voice boomed through the apartment, and Eleanor and I both jumped up from the sudden noise. The girl immediately clung to me, her entire body beginning to shake. I could hear heavy footsteps pass by the hallway, doors opening and slamming.
This didn't sound like Louis.
I even felt scared as I heard Louis call out her name. And my face visibly paled when I heard Harry's voice suddenly say, "And where the fuck is Claire?"
"We're both in trouble." I murmured, licking my swollen lower lip anxiously.
The door to the bathroom door swung open, slamming into the wall as Louis stepped inside, Harry right behind him. Louis was wearing a dark blue tank top over sweat pants, and when his eyes fell on Eleanor, I noticed him look slightly relieved. But then anger clouded his features, and he stepped forward to literally rip the small girl out of my arms. Eleanor cried out, sobbing all over again as Louis shoved her into him.
"What did I tell you about leaving without my permission?" He snarled, grasping her shoulders to glare down into her face. He shook her slightly before repeating, even louder, "Answer me, El."
"I-I just wanted to talk to Claire." Eleanor replied, entirely limp in his grasp. Anger was filling me at what I was witnessing. I had never seen Louis act this way. It both frightened and scared me.
"And what the fuck did I tell you?" Harry stepped around them to head towards me. I immediately backed away from him, tripping over my own feet and falling backwards into the tub. Harry stopped from my fall, shaking his head at me. I could tell instantly that he looked tired and worn- out; his hair was a mess and he was moving slower than usual.
"I had to talk to Eleanor," I defended myself quickly, trying to push myself forward. I was able to see over Harry's shoulder just in time to see Louis pulling Eleanor out of the bathroom, continuing to chastise her as they went.
Harry grabbed my hand and pulled me out of the tub. His hand remained on mine, and he was tugging me out, too. I passed by Niall and Zayn, both looked pretty angry at being woken up. Harry led me back to my room and closed the door roughly behind me.
"You're so lucky I'm tired," He snapped, immediately getting into the bed along with me. As soon as I lay down, though, he pulled me close against him, his nose tickling my cheek. "Am I going to have to chain you to the bed to make sure you actually listen to what I say?"
My eyes widened from his warning. Would he really...chain me to the bed?
"N-no," I said quickly, swallowing thickly. "I'll listen next time."
"Good girl." He said quietly, his voice zoning out as he already sounded like he was half asleep again. I stayed there, wide awake, basically because I could hear Eleanor crying through the thin walls. She was apparently staying in the room right next to mine. I could hear Louis's voice, too, probably trying to quiet her.
Eleanor was such a fragile, small girl. I knew how terrified she was. I knew what true fear felt like.
I just prayed and hoped she could make it through this like I once did.
I woke up, alone. The best was empty, so I lay there, trying to recollect everything that was happening.
Harry was back.
He had a plan.
I was in that plan.
And I had no idea what that 'plan' was.
Great. Just perfect.
I had gotten out of the bed when I paused upon hearing someone screaming. I'm pretty sure that if we did have people living on either side of us, we would've had someone call in for some disturbance of the peace. Sadly, the old woman who lived next door died last week-I didn't really know her-and the apartment on the other side was vacant.
I walked outside, and I could feel the tension in the air. I could smell food...burning food...and I walked hesitantly out into the living room to see Zayn pinning Perrie to the wall again, Fran sitting on the recliner trying to read a magazine, Niall and Louis arguing over something in the kitchen, Harry flipping through the TV, Eleanor sitting at the kitchen table biting her finger nails, and Liam standing in front of the stove.
And when my presence was known, nobody stopped what they were doing. I could hear Zayn threatening Perrie again; I could hear Niall and Louis continue to argue, and the TV was turned up higher than necessary on account of the noise all around.
Of course, Harry noticed me. He immediately set the remote down and said, "Come give me a kiss, Claire." His face was expectant, like before, expecting me to obey him.
And despite the soreness in my ass, and despite how nervous Harry was able to make me feel, I was a little more concerned about the smell of burning food. I hurried into the kitchen to see Liam frantically trying to gain control over what looked like pancakes. To me, it looked like liquefied ash. The food was beyond repair.
"Shit, shit, shit," Liam mumbled, fumbling with the controls of the stove. I sighed before turning it off completely, reaching over him to take the pan off the stove. His brown eyes turned to me, narrowing, "What the hell do you think you're doing?"
"These are burned beyond repair."
I heard a thump erupt in the apartment and turned just in time to see Perrie hitting Zayn with a larger pillow; it was her pink one-her favorite one. Zayn was immediately backing up, cursing loudly, trying to get control over the woman.
And Harry suddenly grasped onto my arm, pulling me away to pin me against the wall now.
"When I tell you to fucking kiss me," He snapped loudly, trying to talk over everyone else, "then I expect you to fucking do it. Now give me a proper kiss, Claire."
I could see that Zayn snatched the pillow from Perrie, and he was literally beating her with it. The girl was pinned against the wall, her back taking the violent hits from the merciless pillow. And Zayn looked pissed.
He really looked like he was ready to kill her.
Not wanting to deal with Harry's antics right now, I leaned up and quickly kissed him on the lips. I wanted to say happy now? But I knew that would get him all riled up. And right now I was quickly developing a headache from all the sudden commotion...
"Can we get a girl to make the breakfast?" Liam asked, giving up in the kitchen. He stormed out of it, taking a seat on the couch. He found the remote and was now flipping through the TV.
"I'll do it." Fran volunteered quietly, making her way into the kitchen.
I glanced over at everyone as Harry leaned more towards me, his arms on either side, trying to get closer. My attention just couldn't seem to focus on him-not with everything going on.
It was complete chaos.
I had never seen something like this.
"We're going to buy the apartments on both sides of this one," Harry told me. "This is really getting on my nerves."
He was kissing my neck, and I was watching Zayn standing over Perrie, telling her something, when I heard something.
Knock knock knock.
Shit.
"Harry," I said quickly, trying not to smile in relief, "someone's at the door."
"Everyone shut the fuck up." Harry yelled, his voice dominating the room instantly. Louis and Niall broke off in mid sentence at the sound of their leader's voice. Zayn turned to look at our direction over his shoulder, Liam muted the TV, and Fran was still trying to find ingredients for pancakes.
"Claire? Perrie? Fran? What's going on in there?" A man's voice said through the door, muffled. I recognized him instantly.
It was my landlord.