That night we just went straight to bed and stuck on a film, spending the remainder of the night cuddled up under the covers. A lot had gone on, so we decided to keep it calm from that point onwards. The fact that Harry had a lot on his mind obviously tired him out, because he fell asleep about half way through Finding Nemo, which for some reason he insisted we watch because it was 'such an old classic' and 'who doesn't love Finding Nemo?'.
The next morning I woke up before him, and as I was laying there just appreciating his arms around me and his light breaths fanning my shoulder as he slept, there was a knock on the bedroom door. Regretfully, I shook Harry awake, and in his confused and sleepy state he called out for them to come in with squinted eyes and a gravelly voice. His mum peered round the door and I was suddenly very aware of the fact I was wearing next to nothing and in bed with her son, so I pulled the covers up to my chin and smiled innocently. To be fair, all we'd done was watch a Disney film...
Louise went on to wish us a Happy New Year and asked us how our evening had been. Of course, we lied and told her it was pretty chilled but great nonetheless, and we had a lot of fun. If only she knew what really happened. I wondered how she would've reacted if we told the truth. Would she be surprised? She was clearly used to her son's previous antics, but now I felt like she expected so much more of him, and would probably be disappointed to hear of how he'd shown himself up.
Harry's mum beamed obliviously at us from the doorway as she chatted away, making it clear how content she was with mine and Harry's relationship. She then proceeded to tell us about her night with Harry's dad at a party with mostly people from their line of work, which they went all the way to London for. It was quite a journey just for a New Years Eve do, but she made it seem as though it was well worth it. They had fancy drinks and stayed at a posh hotel in central London, and were able to watch the fireworks at midnight. I had to admit I was slightly jealous that they had such a good time, and I wished I could've planned something similar for Harry and I. Rather than the night end how it did, it could've been just the two of us in the city. But we had New York to make up for that.
Louise very kindly insisted that she'd make us some eggs for breakfast, despite the fact she was probably worn out having only got home a couple of hours ago, and not to mention busy with sorting things out in terms of her work. It still never failed to impress me how generous and caring Harry's family were, and I don't think he actually ever realised just how much they did for him. I know Harry isn't exactly one for admitting feelings and being soppy, but he never seemed to be overly grateful for his family. And it's not that my family doesn't care for me, you just wouldn't catch them bending over backwards and running around like blue-arsed flies to make me feel like royalty. It was like living in another dimension spending time with people who live so differently.
It was slightly odd that after that night Zayn never confronted Harry. Louis became a sort of messenger, telling us that Zayn had been informed of what happened and was surprisingly willing to leave it. He probably didn't want anymore trouble and was tired of all the shít that'd been happening recently. Louis had said he had been rather bitter about it though, saying that it wasn't worth 'interfering with Romeo and Juliet's tragic love story', which stirred some suspicion with me. At least he wasn't going to press charges or cause any issues for Harry, so we could at least try to forget about it.
He stayed well clear of Zayn afterwards just to be sure. Any time Louis or anyone else would invite him out, and he knew Zayn would be there, Harry would politely decline. I still was desperate to know what it was that Zayn did to irk Harry so badly. What could he possibly have said that could get him to flip like that? I eventually stopped asking, because Harry said he would never tell me. I wanted to be on his side and feel angry when someone mentioned his name, but I just didn't. Without knowing what it was that he'd said and done, the effect just wasn't there. It's all very well hearing that someone that you know had said something a bit rude about you or got on the wrong side of someone you're close with, but when all you've seen from them is kindness and you've never experienced what they're apparently like first hand, it's difficult to dislike them. That being said, I kept well away and didn't bring it up.
When we went back to sixth form in the second week of January, I noticed that Harry had started to really feel comfortable being around me and in our friendship group in public now. Before he would be shy or embarrassed to be associated with other people, especially me for a long time, but now he didn't seem to care. What I'd seen from him was such personal growth, like he'd suddenly matured a hundred times. It's strange, but I think in general Harry never liked being the centre of attention. He was incredibly independent and had always been seemingly emotionless and aggressive, but he never wanted to be talked about. He liked to lay low and stay under the radar. He had friends, but he never relied on anyone completely because he didn't want to be let down or fuçked over, and that's why he didn't want to be personally associated with people. In his eyes, the minute you start showing how much you like someone, that's when you let your guard down and become vulnerable.
Now he was different. He had no problem with being himself — the real Harry that I knew was there deep down. Of course he would occasionally still be short with people and express a bit of negative attitude now and then, but that was part of him. It was part of him, but not all of him. The sense of stubbornness about him and the disgruntled attitude we sometimes saw was all to do with his character, and just made him who he was. It didn't cause him any trouble elsewhere anymore, or at least most of the time it didn't.
He'd always be texting me in the day asking when I had a free period and I was doing with it, offering to drive us somewhere to pass the time rather than moping around in the common room. We spent a lot of time with Louis and Mckenzie, becoming quite the fantastic four, as it were. I was happy that we all got along so well. Although neither of us were necessarily ones for PDA, Harry was much more willing to display a little bit of affection in front of people now, which was nice. Nothing major — just sitting close to me and leaning against my shoulder, holding my hand every now and then, the simple things. Just generally allowing himself to show me he cared outside of the privacy of his bedroom, getting people to maybe wonder what we were or look at us and know that we were each other's person. That was a nice thought.
After a quick chat with the head of sixth form, my UCAS university application got sent off to my five choices in no time, and within twenty-four hours I got an offer from my first choice uni — Cardiff. I had been sitting in Costa with Harry when it'd happened and the notification came through, and I nearly screamed in the middle of the café. I was a complete state, happy tears welling up in my eyes and my hands shaking with excitement. Harry watched me from behind his coffee, smiling and chuckling at me, grabbing my hands from across the table to try and calm me down. He had said how great it was and congratulated me, but it was only when we got back to my house that he wrapped his arms around me and held me close as he told me how proud of me he was, and that's when I started bawling my eyes out again.
The reality of it all was setting in; that it wasn't long until I was going to be a university student. Eventually I'd have to pack up everything I own and take it two hundred miles away to live on my own in a new city. I was going to have to work hard, make new friends and fend for myself so far away from home. I was eager and excited for the new experiences, but in the back of my mind was the whole Harry situation. Would he really drop everything to come and be with me? How would it even work? Should I let him if he wants to? There was so much to think about, but I just kept telling myself it would work out and everything would be okay in the end.
We were just kind of ploughing through life at that moment in time. Harry and I had two months between Christmas and our little holiday to New York, so we were just going through the motions as we counted down the days until we would be getting on the plane. I was beyond excited for the trip, to the extent that I couldn't sleep if I got myself thinking about it in bed before I was about to go to sleep. My family had never really been one for holidays, so I'd only ever left the country twice, and that only fuelled my excitement. The fact that Harry had taken it upon himself to organise it all as a surprise for me made it even better, and I couldn't wait to take on New York City with him by my side. I couldn't wait to find out what he had planned and just spend some time by ourselves with not a care in the world.
That being said, I still had a lot of concentrating to do before the time came. Mock exams were during the last week of January, and I had to really knuckle down if I wanted that university place. They were conditional offers, after all, which meant I needed the grades if I wanted to get in. Harry was a bit píssed off when I told him I had to take some time to study in the run up to the exams, but he just had to suck it up and deal with it. I revised hard and got the exams over and done with, and made sure to keep up the workload in preparation for my actual A Level exams in the summer.
Harry's birthday was only a week away and he was still sticking with the 'I don't want anything for my birthday' thing. I was struggling hard because after everything he'd done for me for Christmas I felt like I had to do or get him something equally as amazing. I know he wouldn't be bothered if I didn't get him a single thing, but I just wanted to make him feel as special as he made me feel. Mckenzie and I were discussing it all day everyday trying to come up with something, but Harry was a difficult person to suss out. Everyone that knew him said he would be over the moon with a burger and a błowjob, but that wasn't exactly on par with a surprise trip to New York with all expenses paid in my opinion.
In the end I went blubbering to him about how I was going to be a massive disappointment and not come up with anything amazingly perfect for his birthday and he reassured me that he seriously was not expecting anything after telling me countless times that he didn't want anything. I ended up online shopping as I was packing my bags for New York (very early, because I wanted to be prepared and just couldn't wait) and buying him a watch that probably was nowhere near as fancy as he would buy himself, but it was pretty and he appreciated good jewellery so I thought he might like it.
We did manage to surprise him with a birthday meal, which was adorable. I made him dress up smart to go out without telling him what was going on (which he was a bit grumbly about) and led him to his favourite American-style diner where Louis and Mckenzie were waiting for us, and he actually did look surprised. Harry would never admit it, but he definitely was touched by the gesture — he squeezed me into his side with a bright grin and kissed my head in front of the whole restaurant. The four of us spent the evening just chatting and laughing and enjoying some good food, and all in all it was a great night. Harry even allowed himself to have one drink in celebration of his twentieth birthday, and the night was still chilled and nothing kicked off for once. If you asked him, the only downside would have been when the waitresses switched off the lights and brought out a birthday cake, the whole restaurant singing happy birthday to him and clapping. He blushed furiously and hated the whole ordeal. It was my favourite part.
After a delicious meal with good friends we walked back to Harry's house. That single drink after having not drinking for months went straight to his head and he was very giddy and grabby. He was raving about the fact I had worn the dress that I'd worn on New Years and because of how things had ended that night he never got to take it off me.
At the end of the day, I got to make Harry happy and actually surprise him with a good birthday... and he got his błowjob.
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Hello!!! Despite what you may have been thinking, I am actually alive. Sorry for the really late update, my excuse is that it was Christmas and I was very lazy. I wish I could say I was SUPER BUSY but I just slept a lot and watched all of the Pirates of The Caribbean films twice, and with work and the few things I did actually do tied in I just didn't get round to writing. I go back to sixth form tomorrow and I want to CRY, so stay tuned to find out whether updates get better with routine or worse with the workload!
I hope this chapter wasn't too boring, it was kind of different to the rest of the book - I got into the flow of it and it turned out like that. I thought it was best not to bore you with loads of dialogue that means nothing as a filler chapter. The next few chapters will be New York, and then after that there may be a couple more chapters that are kind of summary-based like this one is, only because I don't want to really drag the story out and I'm keen to finish it since it's well on it's way to the end right now. Predictions for the ending? I'm not sure you'll guess.
Q: all3gra: What are your plans for the new year? (parties, resolutions, etc)
A: OK LEMME TELL YOU GUYS THIS: IDK HOW I DIDN'T ACTUALLY DIE ON NEW YEARS. Allegra I am sure you are aware from my Twitter, but I partied TOO HARD. I drank way too much (I do not recommend nor do I encourage) and while it was all well and good and I was bloody hilarious on the night, I was certain I was coming to my death the next day. I have no idea how I didn't throw up, that's my biggest achievement to date tbh. It was really funny though, I won't lie. I don't really have any set resolutions, my goal for 2016 is just to try hard and be happy :)
Q: mythharryx: Favourite actor/actress?
A: The first person that came to mind was Matthew Gray Gubler. He's been my bae for years now, I love him. But others would include Johnny Depp, Meryl Streep, Zooey Deschanel, Lindsey Lohan.
Q: @best-mistakesss: If you ever met One Direction, what would you tell them?
A: Ok in reality I would probably be shy and emotional and not really say too much because I'd be nervous as hell and I'm quite a quiet person irl anyway, but figuratively if I were to tell them something I would just make sure they know they're appreciated. They get girls every day screaming that they love them and all this stuff, but I would just be content in them knowing that what they do and who they are as people is genuinely APPRECIATED.
Highlight with a q!
My question for you: You knew it was coming... Thoughts on the Hendall situ? I mean it seems weird and slightly suspicious to me that we didn't hear a single thing about them forever and then all of a sudden they're cosying up on a boat in front of paps and not hiding it at all... I don't know, something is just off about it. But to be honest, out of all the people he has been and could be associated with, I'm glad it's Kendall. She's okay. Obvi I would prefer it to be me but you know, what can you do?