Zayn's POV
My hand held tightly on to the sink as I looked at my face in the mirror. Looking back at me was a man that was beyond stupid. He believed in something that never existed and never would. He was an idiot to fall in love with with ocean.
Niall was the ocean. He had a dark storm in him that was always threatening to show itself if the earth did something that would set it off. I was the earth in a way. I was a stable, grounded place that liked things the way they were. Niall's waves were everywhere and with that, he couldn't ever have something as stable as the earth. But he mesmerized me until I was waist deep and nearly drowning in him. I wanted to love him and maybe I do love him. In a short amount of time, I loved everything about that Irish ball of trouble. Just like me seeing a picture of the ocean, I loved it without knowing anything about what lies underneath it. Just now I caught a glimpse of the brewing storm and my tectonic plates shifting under it could have made a hurricane.
I splashed cold water on my face and neck to pull myself from those thoughts that I just couldn't come to terms with. Niall was afraid of being alone, yet afraid of being with someone. I hate that I can't wrap my head around that. I want to understand where he came up with that, but I understand just a little in the sense he came from divorced parents. I just want to know him even better so I can love him even better and change his heart, but he's once again like the ocean. There are secrets that will be hidden for the rest of eternity while others will float up to the top but never uncover themselves for the world to see without looking for it.
I walked back out to the living room where Niall was leaning out my newly opened window. I also noticed he had changed the R&B music to some classic slow songs that kind of set the mood to relax the past heated state. My feet took me over to stand next to him and take a deep breath of the cool night sky. We stayed there at my window before Niall looked up at at the star filled sky and pointed.
"I just like looking at them and watching them. When we do concerts at open roof stadiums and arenas, I find myself looking up rather than at the crowed. The crowed is all looking at us, but the stars are far more interesting to look at." Niall mumbled. His hand slowed dropped, but his blue eyes still stayed sparkling back at the stars. It's funny though, if rather look at Niall than the stars any day. He has that glow about him that I've always seen in people. It the one that makes you look at them, but Niall is the first person I've met that doesn't know that he has that power over me.
"The stars are probably thinking the same exact thing when they look down at you. They'd rather watch you while others are looking up at them." I whispered back. I looked away from Niall and looked put at the cityscape in front of me, the whole time Niall's eyes were on me.
"I'm sorry about what happened a few minutes ago. I didn't mean to be such a dick about my own opinion." Niall apologized. I looked over at him and leaned against the window so our fingers were on the window seal bearly touching each other.
"I'm sorry too. I hope that didn't sour anything between us." I said. Niall shook his head and bumped his fingers into mine. We both just looked at each other and gave each other a small nod. I could see it in his eyes what he ment and I knew what I ment.
The differences between us was officially enough to prove we just couldn't make things work. He wasn't obtainable and I wasn't able to handle that. It was a little frustrating to me because I wanted him so bad. I wanted to fight with him about dogs, I wanted to kiss him before bed, I wanted to laugh on the phone when he's far away. I wanted to tell him this too, but I knew now he didn't want to hear it.
Niall's phone rang in his pocket, breaking the silence in the room. I pat his hand lightly and moved away from the window to maybe find something we could both eat. I heard Niall answer his ringing phone, but he sounded like he was ready to talk something business. I stopped listening and got a plate out to put some crackers and grapes out. I was glad I had that at least just to be good to my guest.
"What the hell? You said I had time." I heard Niall hiss into his phone when I walked back into the room. I sat on the couch and got his hand in mine, bringing it to my lips to give it a soft kiss. His flipped his hand and let it scratch at my beard a little then run through my hair.
"Fine. I didn't think you would do this to me. I told the boys I needed this time, I told you all I needed this time, I even told security. I know we're going on break soon, but I needed to take care of something before going to America. Now I don't have that, so fuck you." Niall snapped on the phone then hung up. He tossed is phone across the room and walked back over to the open window. He bent down to let his head rest in his hands then groaned.
"Nialler, are you alright?" I asked him. He picked his head up and shook it. I was on my feet and next to him not even a second later. He looked at me with his blue eyes full of tears and pure sadness.
"Management just told me we're leaving to America tomorrow, not in a couple days like they had told me. I wanted those days with you because I know I'll be in America for months then I'll go to Ireland. I'm not going to be back anywhere near here for a long time and I wanted to spend time with you before I had to leave. Now it's just tonight and I leave in the fucking morning." Niall told me with his voice cracking and a single tear rolling down his cheek. I reached up and wiped his tear and looked him in the eyes.
After being with Niall for some time, I knew he had trouble letting go. Even if he's lived a life of pushing people away, he still didn't like to see things leave. Maybe it was just what happened when I was involved or maybe it was his personality, but either way I knew he didn't like saying goodbye when he wasn't fully ready. It was cute in a way. It was like he tried to have this hard heart towards certain things and tried to reason why he doesn't like relationships when really, it's the goodbye that scares him the most.
"We have the whole night together. Don't worry, Niall. We can do whatever you want for the whole entire night." I told him quietly. He nodded and pressed up on his tip toes so he could fully place a kiss on my lips. I kissed him back then pulled away so we could really talk if he wanted to.
"This is going to sound so weird, but can you do something for me?" Niall asked me with a blush on his cheeks. I laughed and pulled him over to the couch so he was sitting on my lap. He curled into me and attached his lips on my neck then rest his forehead on mine after he sucked on my neck a little.
"Sing to me... You sang to me a little in the shower that one morning, but I want to hear your voice completely." The Irish boy asked me. I shook my head and hugged him closer to me. I don't sing for anyone but my shampoo bottles. Even in the shower I know I sound horrible so there's no way I would sing in front of another person who is in the biggest boy band and is beyond the word talented.
"I won't judge you. I know you can sing, so just do it." Niall begged me quietly. He slipped off my lap and crossed his legs so he was looking at me. His eyes looked like he was going to bring up the fact he was leaving in the morning.
"What do you want me to sing for you? It's not going to sound good, but I'll do it just for you." I asked him. He shrugged and let his hand run over my beard. I took a deep breath and looked down before deciding to sing along to the song I heard just stating that was playing through the room.
"I've seen the world, done it all, had my cake now. Diamonds, brilliant and Bel Air now. Hot summer nights, mid July when you and I were forever wild. The crazy days, city lights, the way you'd play with me like a child.
Will you still love me when I'm no longer young and beautiful? Will you still love me when I got nothing but my aching soul? I know you will, I know you will I know that you will. Will you still love me when I'm no longer beautiful?
I've seen the world, lit it up as my stage now. Channeling angels in the new age now. Hot summer days, rock 'n' roll, the way you play for me at your show. And all the ways I got to know your pretty face and electric soul.
Will you still love me when I'm no longer young and beautiful? Will you still love me when I got nothing but my aching soul? I know you will, I know you will I know that you will. Will you still love me when I'm no longer beautiful?
Dear lord, when I get to heaven, please let me bring my man. When he comes tell me that you'll let him in, Father tell me if you can. Oh that grace, oh that body, oh that face makes me wanna party. He's my sun, he makes me shine like diamonds.
Will you still love me when I'm no longer young and beautiful? Will you still love me when I got nothing but my aching soul? I know you will, I know you will I know that you will. Will you still love me when I'm no longer beautiful? Will you still love me when I'm no longer beautiful? Will you still love me when I'm not young and beautiful?" I finished singing with the song then looked up to see Niall was looking at me with his blue eyes mist over with tears once again and a look on his face that I couldn't read if I tried.
"You're amazing. I can't even believe what I just heard. Have you ever thought of singing?" Niall asked me while he rubbed his eyes like he was trying to pull himself together. I laughed and pulled him back on my lap and slipped my fingers under his shirt to feel his soft skin.
"I'm terrible at singing in front of people. Even just doing it in front of you was horrible. I don't think I'm good so I've never thought of it. I'm not even starting to think it either." I told him. He sighed like he gave up the fight already and just cuddled into me. We stayed like that for a while until I started kissing his soft skin in places that I could reach. I sucked a love bite on Niall's pulse point, getting a grunt from Niall and his hands moving down to get my face in his hands to look and him.
"Can you fuck me again?" Niall asked me. I shook my head and scoot him off my lap so I could stand up. The look of rejection crossed his face and broke my heart, but I knew what I ment by declining to fuck him. The words came out of my mouth and Niall looked at me with curiosity and trust as he let me take his hands in mine.
"I'll make love to you, never ever think I'll fuck you. Let me make love to you one last time."
A/N: Seriously, listen to the song. It's so gorgeous and makes me cry all the time. I also think Zayn would do wonders with it so just give it a listen. New years eve is tomorrow! What are your resolutions?!?!?! (I don't do them haha I should make it to be less of a little shit but that's just my personality) Comment / Vote! - Bri;)