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A vision of ecstasy, blinding me into a state of pure bliss. When he held me, I felt alive; I felt my body cave in to his touch. Even though it was just a dream, his touch felt so real, like he was here with me right now. I couldn't help but miss him even more. My head subconsciously turned to the picture by my bedside. A picture of Jesse and I; My hand wrapped around his shoulder, as I cling to his back. He looked happy. Hell, I looked happy. It was one of those workout morning routine the both of us gotten accustomed to. I sigh, and decided that I needed to clear my head. All this thinking is driving me insane.
I grabbed a coat by my door, and slowly walked out to the porch without waking Nick up. Nick had decided to stay on night, before he leaves tomorrow. We ended up going to bed around 9; I guess all the confession had drained all our energies.
With my coat and slippers keeping me warm, for some reason, I still felt cold. The empty hollow part of my heart felt numb to all the pain I've been inflicting on myself. I've become used to it, but you just can't help and felt the emptiness inside.
I walked closer to the beach, breathing in the midnight air, as the beach's wave crashed the shore systematically. I stopped few inches where the water can't get me, and observe the blissful night.
Tonight Jesse was supposed to call, it's his routine, but I didn't receive any today. That's how I know he's all right, even though I never really pick up my phone. I would let it go straight to voicemail, and listen to his voice over and over. But I was slightly worried today, because he usually would leave me a message, I didn't show it because of Nick. He shouldn't have to worry over my problem.
I cant deny that I need Jesse, he was the first man that would ever go through all those troubles, so that I would go on a date with him. And just thinking of our trip to Bali, got me blushing and all. To be quite honest, I'm not sure If I can love any other man than him.
"Hey."
I turned around, to find Nick with a cup of what smells like tea, in his hand. I suppressed a smile, as he handed me the gratifying smell Jasmine Tea that hit my nostril instantly.
"Thanks," I said, lifting the cup into my lips.
He smiled sweetly, "I hope you don't mind. I woke up from the open front door; I thought it was a burglar. Instincts remember? When I saw you here, I decided to bring you tea. I hope I'm not interrupting your midnight thought?"
"You talk a lot, when you are nervous."
"Do I?" an amused smile formed across his face, making him a lot more beautiful. Not as beautifully flawed as Jesse though.
"It fine," I shrugged, then returned my vision back towards the hurtle waves.
"Are you okay?"
"I don't know Nick. I like to think, but sometimes I just wish I was living a normal, boring life."
"But where's the fun in that? That's life, it will give you happiness, but before you could react suddenly you are spitted out, leaving you in bitterness. "
I turned to look at him, but he was busy looking at the far distance, his tea untouched. I didn't know if he was talking about my rejection or not, but I quickly dismiss it before I felt more guilty than I already am.
"I will be returning back home tomorrow," He said slowly, "somebody got to watch the city right"
I chuckled lightly, and leaned on his shoulder.
"Take care of the city for me then, I'll be back sooner than you think-
I hope."
"Amelia even if you don't feel the same way, even though I'm not the man in your life, you can always lean on me, and not just literally. I'll be here for you, if you need me, just call and I'll be back here in a second. Don't hesitate. As much as I want us together, just being in your life means the world to me. "
My heart swell in warmth and it's not just from the tea. I sipped the final part of the tea, and looked at him in the eyes.
"But you are the man in my life-
I didn't grow up with a good man, my step dad made me believe that all men are the same, but you prove to me that you are different, that not everyone is like him. Maybe it's not the circumstances you want, but you'll always be a part of my life Nick. And someday you'll find a great girl, who will love you just as crazy, who deserves you more.
I'm sorry for leaving, for breaking your heart, and for being a shitty friend, I hope you forgive me, so that we can go back inside and make stacks of 1am pancakes."
He laughs, genuinely, and wrapped his hand around my shoulder,
"Only if I get 5 of those yummy pancakes."
"Deal!"
We walked back towards the house with one thing in my mind; maybe I'm ready to start over.
Maybe, It's time to return those calls.
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"Can I tell Jesse where you are?" He suddenly asked, as his head hang out of the driver's window of his car.
"No!" I screamed, "You'll not do such thing Nick Bateman."
"Okay mom, chill, that was just a question," He chuckled, his car already reversing down the entrance road, "I'll see you in two weeks."
I waved my hand from side to side, "Bye stupid."
"Don't drown please," He replied with a smile then his car drive away, disappearing into the plummet road.
I walked back into the house briskly, and threw myself on my bed to check my phone, that has been lying there all morning. After that midnight beach conversation, Nick and I decided to cook some pancakes. It helped me ignore my phone, but now I was itching to know whether Jesse had called or not.
I was yet again surprise when my incoming voicemail was empty. My mouth turned into a frown, as my eyebrows furrow into a worried lines. I know I was being irrational, but you can't help it you know. Should I go to New York just to check things?
Just when I thought maybe a trip back to New York was a good idea, an incoming call starlet myself, from my irrational thinking.
Jesse Blue
The phone rang 3 times, until I picked it up.
"Ameliiiaaaa....," his voice slurring
My happy scowl was abruptly turned into an unhappy one; it was pretty obvious that he was drunk.
"Jesse? What the hell happen to you?"
"You and your mouth," Jesse scolded drunkenly, but I didn't care at the moment, "will you leave me again Amelia?"
"Jesse listen-"
"No, you listen. I loooove you, butt you always push me awayyy. I'm tired of this game Ameliaaaa."
"Jesse," I said softly, " listen, why are you drunk?"
"I've been drunk fooorr weeks, I cant find youuu. I neeeeed to see you"
"You didn't go to a club didn't you?" My voice filled with worried and envy. I was seeing red just imagining girls throwing themselves at him.
"No," He reply, "And if I diddddd... there's no one that could ever replace you out of my mind." As if he read my mind.
My cheeks blushed at his drunken confession and I fought the urge to see him and kiss his face. Second later the call ended. He must have fell and I directly texted Thalia to check on Jesse for me. She was skeptically accepting to help me, but I knew she would do it anyway. She loves me so much, to ever disagree.
I was worried, but there was nothing I could do, except to wait. He waited for me, and I was planning to do the same.
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A/N
I know you all have been waiting for this, and I'm quite happy to write it all for you. But don't get too cheery, nothing is ever simple if you are dating Jesse Blue.
I hope you guys enjoy this chapter, and I'll be updating soon.
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