ISTU
The last days have been stressful and tomorrow will be even worse. Kit spends most of the time sleeping and barely eats, making him weaker with each day that passes. The doctor assured us that the surgery will help him. I hope he's right, it's painful to see my little brother so ill.
Our relationship with Mom worsened since she arrived. Her obsession with Kitchi is out of control and the last drop on the already full cup was slapping me and trying to kick Chris and Nadine out during their visit.
We won't be able to get rid of her that easily, but at least on the moment one of us arrives, she leaves the room. Not without glaring at us. Rowtag used to receive the worst treatment, but now there's no difference towards Huritt or me.
The pain on my shoulders is my hint to stop working. I haven't had time to interview the assistant candidates and don't see any opportunities soon. When one of our cleaning maids told me that her son was looking for a farm job, I almost hugged her. Chris can do a lot, but he can't split himself. He's taking care of the trail rides and that would leave Sebastian and the other inexperienced kids to work on the farm. Ben was the perfect fit for the ranch. He knew from day one what needs to be done and gets along well with Chris; at least I have one worry less.
"I'm done for today," Row organizes a pack of reports in a neat stack.
"I'm finished here too. After I take Hunter out, I will go straight to bed."
"Wanna order something? Did you eat anything at all today?"
"Nadine brought me a calzone for lunch. Why don't we head into town? Take a break from here."
"Sure. Let me send a message to Huritt and we can leave."
"I feel sorry he has to stay at the hospital tonight and then be there the whole day tomorrow. The sleeping chair in Kit's room is so uncomfortable."
"I told him he should go home tomorrow morning, but he wants to stay at least until we hear how the surgery went. He will take Saturday free to rest. Did you notice he has been off in the last days?"
"It's hard not to notice. He barely talks and that's unlike him. I thought it had to do with Mom being around, but he behaved the same after she left the room."
"I will have a chat soon with him to find out what's bothering him. Wanna go out to a movie after dinner? I could use the distraction."
"Thanks, but no. Food and my bed is all I need tonight. No spreadsheets, or hospitals, and most importantly, no Mom."
"Dad called me to check on Kit and to let me know about his travel plans. She told him how horrible we are with her," Rowtag chuckles. "He will head straight to the hospital by taxi from the airport. I offered to pick him, but he declined. Quite different from Mrs. Marshall."
"Kitchi's room is still clean since Mom refused to stay here. He can use it if he wants."
"Not necessary. He will go to the hotel and contain the beast."
I laugh so hard that I snort. It isn't charming, but I can't help it. In the last days, Mom has gained many new bad names.
"Care to share the joke?"
We see Olivia coming upstairs with her son Seth. Her shift is over, and she comes to sign out.
"Our mother is out of control. Seth, you are a lucky guy. Your mom loves you and cares about you," Rowtag says to him.
Seth gives his mom a shy but loving smile as they walk towards the employee lounge.
"Row, I think you could use some company tonight if you still want to go to the movies," I say so that only Rowtag can hear me.
"You don't mind changing our plans?"
"I can have anything delivered to the ranch," I smile at him and he pats my cheek.
"Olivia, Seth, would you like to have dinner and go to the movies together with me?"
Olivia looks at my brother with surprise on her face. I feel glad that Row is giving himself a new chance at being happy.
"I- We- Are you sure?" She asks.
"What do you think Seth? You can pick the restaurant and the movie. Of course, one that your mom approves of."
Seth's face is just adorable. He looks eager and hopeful, but you can see he respects his mom too much. Olivia caresses his face and nods.
"I think you should give an answer to Rowtag."
"Can we go to the place where you can build your own ice cream?" Seth asks in a soft voice.
"That's dessert sweetie."
"But they have big bowls of chili and cornbread as big as my hand. That's food, right?" Row says and Seth smiles at his small victory. "Well, young Seth, you lead the way. Istu, see you tomorrow."
Olivia blushes prettily at what she assumes is the meaning, but I know Row won't try anything with her tonight. The real meaning is that I'll probably be asleep by the time he comes home. My brother places his hand at the small of her back to guide her and she smiles. It's a beautiful sight.
I turn my laptop off and head to our apartment. Just taking my shoes and socks off feels like disconnecting from the busy day. I also take off my uniform shirt and walk barefoot to the kitchen. The full glass of water I drink doesn't make much difference to my level of thirst.
I hear a knock on the door and head to open it. Rowtag probably forgot something. Instead, I find Josh outside and my heart begins a run at full gallop.
"Hey! Josh, how can I help you?"
"Hi! It's more like, what can I do for you? I saw your brother leaving and I know the other two are at the hospital. How are you holding up?" Josh takes a quick glance at my naked chest and back at my face.
"Kind of nervous. Kit's surgery is scheduled in for tomorrow," I move aside to let him in.
"How is he doing?"
"Still having seizures and getting weaker. We are hopeful the surgery will help."
"I can only imagine how you all are feeling. Did you have dinner? I could cook something simple."
"I was about to order something. Wanna join me?"
"Sure."
We make our dinner choices and I place the call. I invite him to sit on the couch and turn the TV on. Hunter comes in the room and gets all happy when he spots Josh.
"Come here, boy," Josh calls him.
Hunter jumps on the couch and looks at me with a guilty face as he isn't allowed on it.
"Just this time," I caress his fur while Josh scratches his head.
We watch some TV shows and enjoy our meals. I don't know why I felt odd around him. We are two friends hanging out.
Josh gives me a warm smile as he returns from washing his hands and I take another good look at him. I can imagine why both men and women find him attractive. Besides his handsome appearance, he's a calm, well-mannered man.
We turn off the TV and continue chatting about our lives and projects. He's been checking the local winery and says feels inspired by the valley. I tell him about my dream of traveling to some exotic destinations.
I'm fascinated by his lips as he talks and laughs. He notices the obvious change in me as he stops talking and moves closer to me. His hand cups my cheek as he presses his soft lips to mine. I'm surprised about how nice it feels, no different from any girl I have kissed.
"Isaac..." he says after I break the kiss and stand up.
I head to the window and check on our parking spots. Row isn't back yet.
When I return to him, I start the contact, grabbing him by his shirt, making him stand up and bringing our mouths together again. Raw animal instincts take over my mind as we kiss and our hands explore our bodies; his heart races just as mine does.
"Do you... Want this?" He tries to catch his breath.
I don't respond and pull him towards my bedroom. Hunter lets out a soft bark when he realizes I left him outside. Josh's shirt lands on the floor and my hands caress his fit torso. Kissing his neck, my hand goes dangerously low on his back and he moans.
"Isa-" I put a finger over his lips.
We lay on my bed and continue the heavy make-out session. He turns me and holds himself above me while kissing my sweat-covered skin. My fingers rake through his hair as he keeps going down.
He stops and I open my eyes to find him palming himself over his jeans while watching me.
"I have wanted you since the first time I saw you," he says.
"Shut up. Just. Shut. Up," I say as I sit on my bed, suddenly aware of what was about to happen.
Josh tries to touch my face, and I hit his hand away.
"I can't do this. I need you to leave," I avoid looking at his face.
"Whatever this is I can help you."
"I don't need your help with anything," I stand up from the bed and move to the door.
Josh has disappointment written all over his face as he puts his shirt on and slips on his shoes. I feel truly sorry, but this was a mistake.
"Look, Josh, I'm sorry for hurting your feelings. This between us is purely a physical attraction and it won't go further than that."
"Keep telling yourself that. You will never be happy until you accept who you are," Josh walks by me towards the front door.
"I don't think I'm gay."
Josh disappears through the front door and a second later Rowtag enters and looks shocked at me.